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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 23:33 I started writing a blog easily enough - doing so every day it helps me get my absolute minimum of daily ten minutes of writing, regardless of the quality of that writing or the word count. But for what purpose do blogs really exist? Is it entertainment? Not sure how I do with that! Is it providing strangers a glimpse into one's life? Meh. Maybe they're just for random stuff because...why not? I figured I could read back over the entries I've written but the idea doesn't appeal to me very much - so apologies if I start blathering on about things I've written about before. I've tried to make use of this space more practically before, with mixed results. I've tried to write an entry from the POV of one of my characters (which wasn't very good). I've tried to plan a novel on here. I've explored a bit of my past, although that was largely due to a task I was told to do for college. Maybe if I was more involved on WDC, I'd have more to talk about. But these days, I am being especially lazy. Maybe it's the (intermittently) warm weather. Maybe it's the fact that my husband has gone to Pakistan for several weeks. Maybe it's the mountain-load of college work I have to finish before mid-September which I am finding too daunting to even begin. Maybe it's the impending deadline for the novel I started on here, which is to be finished by the 8th. I don't know! I'd like to do prompts for my entries again, but like everything else in my life at the moment, I can't be bothered. It's far too much work to click on the link at the side of the page and scroll down to see what the daily prompt is. Don't even get me started on uploading my entry! It requires astronomical amounts of willpower to link my work to a forum post. It's too much. You might as well ask me to run a marathon. Ok, starting to fall asleep at the computer. That means I'd best go to sleep. It's so easy to decide I better get to bed when I've promised myself I'll do some writing! When I feel I have to stay up to read manga or watch a movie, I'm absolutely fine! 23:51 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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