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 |  Blog and other works of literary sense |
| Here is a collection of ruminations and whatnot. |
| The last two days have been horrible. I was made to be sad on Sunday and Monday the worse of the two days. I felt a huge headache almost all day. To add to this, my stepfather said he was suffering pains on his knee and he had a dizzy feeling. He bought a small botle of Tylenol and it wasn't enough to stem the pain and he is now on aspirin. He said it seems to work better. I asked God for help. He sent some woman who belongs to a cult in the Cahtolic church to aid us with cash. She seems to be nice now. I know others in her group like me. I hope that she's come around to liking me. I know when she talked to my stepfather earlier today (she came to visit) outside in the front of the house, she said (according to stepfather) that many in her group had been asking how we were doing, and were getting some sort of emails from me (which is something I've done through a mail client) to get them interested in my work (writing etc), they were sad to think that I could be in a pickle and so with my stepfather. Hence she gave money to my stepfather. My stepfather went to get groceries and spent the money on it. She also mentioned to him, by the way that she and the others could help with clearing the front garden. That was a nice thing she said. I could do it but it takes a lot out of me. I have a problem with doing anything. I get out of breath and my heart races. it takes a lot to calm this and so I've let things go. And so has my stepfather. He and I are depressed. We've been depressed for a while. I fear that this depression is not organic but is actually a phenomenon that the Bastard has made for us. My theory is that there is a great big cloud of negative ions over our house. This is a true thing and I think everyone who is a good person gets this cloud over their houses and causes sad feelings, and even aches and pains. I've had to call on All God to help us. I have been trying to study Islam and the Quran but even reading the Quran makes me feel sad. I cannot understand unless someone in Islam hates me too? I cannot work for a real office bc of all those who are in the ghostly media are going to make me die in the office spaces that I could go and work in. So I have to look for freelance work. I am hoping that something like that will happen. I've been turned down by one of those but I keep trying. I do not know that I can work in regulatory any more. It will depend. Those who have tried to contact me and I've replied to about this job has not replied with a positive job offer. So we have to go with this in my life. I was told by my stepfather that being this age is going to be a difficult thing to find a job. I have to see how it all of this goes. I will be going on with m hobbies and whatever else that I've got going until God gives me something that's more official. Mary |
| I found out my stepfather is trying to flirt or woo a woman from our former parish by sending her wine. That is why we have been lacking money each month for a while. |
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