This choice: A new mother with her baby • Go Back... Your dream was fitful, causing you to toss in bed. Each experience causing you confusion as you found yourself unable to recognize anything around you. You initially found yourself in a hospital bed. Doctors were working fastidiously around you to accomplish something that you couldn’t discern. Your initial thought was that this was a memory of you being operated on from your accident, but this didn’t feel right. You had a strange longing feeling and an intense feeling of fatigue unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. You continued to look around the room but you couldn’t make anyone’s faces out and no one stopped long enough for you to focus. Soon enough this dreamscape flitted to a new reality.
You were in a house now, a room delicately adorned with neat details. A lamp on a dresser that had balloons on the pull cord. A colorful assortment of books neatly arranged on a shelf. Also, a crib. “Why was there a crib in here?” You wondered. You felt yourself rocking in a chair enjoying the warmth of the sun shining through the window. Your apprehension washed away as you continued rocking. Each beat, feeling better and better. Almost like a lightness was coming over you. A warmth that wasn’t just external but internal as well. You felt like you mattered deeply and that something mattered to you as well.
As you rested, yet another dreamscape came into existence. You were out on a walk in a beautiful garden. It must have been a public park of some kind because its scale was grander than anything you could imagine a single person owning. Trees were neatly placed to provide shade and fields of flowers were neatly manicured throughout the park. A lake was central to the scenery as you made your way along paths. You felt a cool breeze and relished the relief from the overbearing heat of the day. This is when you noticed for the first time that you were carrying something. Not in your arms, but strapped to your front was a bundled up container. You didn’t recognize it in the slightest but as you looked down you felt an overwhelming sense of happiness and love even. Something so powerful that you’d never felt anything like it before. The amorphous thing on your front started to take shape. You saw a tiny little hat that was atop the formerly obscured shape. “Why would this thing have its own hat?” You wondered further.
Once again a flit of dreamscape and you are back in a home. The home is quiet and you know you are here alone somehow, but you also feel a fullness of heart. Like you are dedicated to something or someone profound to you. Being here is an important step in something you have to do. You make your way to a couch in the main room of the home and take a seat. You feel an urgency, a rush to accomplish something important but there’s no one and no object of concern in your view. You position yourself in a curious way. You are sitting with your legs crossed up on the couch. You place a pillow from the couch on your lap as you start to speak. “There there, I’m all ready for you now. No need to fuss any longer.” You were back to being confused. “Who was supposed to be fussing? Why would they be better now? None of this is making any sense,” your feelings and thoughts diverged as your fitful sleep returned. I’m an instant you were awakened by a trilling sound.
You opened your eyes seeing your laptop was the culprit. Awake, but groggy, you made your way to your desk and sat down. “Skype call from Randall (ConDavis bro),” your onscreen notification alerted you. You answered the call, “Dude! I’m so glad you’re alright. They had me worried there at the hospital.”
“Haha, yeah man. Nothing to worry about. A little car accident ain’t going to stop me!” Randall proudly declared.
“No doubt, I don’t know that anything could keep you from Brandy. Not now that you’ve actually made contact with the love of your life”
“No kidding man. I’ve got to make it to home base before I check out. Now that I’m so close I can’t let a little thing like a cracked skull stop me.”
“So you had a cracked skull too huh?”
“Yo, for real, you had that happen too?”
“Yeah, they wouldn’t tell me what happened to you but said you were alright”
“Same here”
“Well at least we both seem to be doing alright. How are you handling the fatigue?”
“Fatigue?”
“Yeah, weren’t you exhausted when you got back from the hospital?”
“Nah man, I have been great. I’ve been ravenous though. I’ve had like 3 whole pizzas to myself.”
“Weird, I would have thought we’d have similar symptoms.”
“Did you get an extension for returning from summer break though?”
“Yeah, 2 weeks extra to rest they said.”
“Same, but I was told it was for monitoring my progress.”
“You talked to Dr. Kerry?”
“Yeah, you too?”
“Yeah. That’s weird that they gave us the same extension for different reasons.”
“I don’t know, they sound pretty similar. Maybe it’s just the doctor mixing it up a bit for his own sanity?”
“Yeah, that’s true. Probably just that,” you said but the peculiar dream you had just experienced combined with this irregularity had your mind working overdrive. You wanted to know why your symptoms were different from Randall’s and if there was something the doctors knew that they weren’t telling you both.
“So, COD then?” Randall asked.
“Yeah, totally. It’ll be good to take my mind off this whole mess”
“Right on! You’re going down though. I feel like I have your number today.”
“Likely story, but you haven’t beaten me once all summer”
The two of you switched over to Xbox chat and dove straight into COD. True to his word, Randall was gaming with a level of skill that you’d never seen before. You were playing to your usual level but you started to feel something odd welling up. You felt a tension around the other players on the map. Like you needed to help protect Randall almost. It was fine for players to take you out, but each time Randall cried out that he got shot you felt a little pang in your heart. At one point it was all you could do to stop yourself from yelling out over voice chat to leave Randall alone. “Where the hell is that coming from?” You wondered. You tried your best to continue the game but you found yourself becoming increasingly distracted on a formless feeling that you couldn’t quite place.
The match ended and Randall sat atop the rankings. “See dude! I told you! I’m on fire today”
“Yeah, you owned those dweebs.”
“You did alright too, but you dropped off at the end there. What happened?”
You were conflicted, you could tell Randall the truth that something weird was going on. Or, you could just make up some lie and move on with your life. Certainly enough shit had gone down since the accident that you didn’t need to introduce something new to the mix. Ultimately you decided…
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