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Blog started in Jan 2005: 1st entries for Write in Every Genre. Then the REAL ME begins |
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It Hurts When I Stop Talking Sometime in Fall of 1998, when a visit from Dad was infrequent, and primarily at the mercy of his 88 Toyota making the 50 mile journey, I was being treated to lunch. The restaurant was my choice, I think. Sisley Italian Kitchen at the Town Center mall was somewhere my dad had not yet tried, so that was my pick. Either I was being treated to the luxury of lunch and adult conversation without my husband and 5 year old son in tow, or that's just how the moment has lodged in my memory. The more I think about it, they probably were there, but enjoying the Italian food too much to bother interrupting. Daddy and his lady friend at the time, Anne, came up together and made a day of it with me and the family. We were eating together and talking about some of my scripts, stories, coverages, poems and other creative attempts that really were not seeing the light of day. I think I'd just finished a group reading of The Artist's Way and was in a terribly frenetic mood over my writing. I think I'd just given them an entire rundown on a speculative Star Trek script. My Dad asked me point blank, “Why don’t you write it?? Anne agreed. It sure sounded like I wanted to write it. Why wasn't I writing seriously? It's what I'd set out to do when earning my college degree in Broadcasting many years earlier. Heck, I should, I agreed non-verbally. “I will.” But, I didn’t. Blogs can be wild, unpredictable storehouses of moments, tangents, creative dervishes, if you will. I'm getting a firmer handle on my creative cycle. My mental compost heap (which is a catch phrase from Natalie Goldman or Julia Cameron - I can't think which, right now) finally seems to be allowing a fairly regular seepage of by-products. That may be a gross analogy, but I give myself credit to categorize my work in raw terms. It proves that I'm not so much the procrastinating perfectionist that I once was. Still, I always seem to need prompts and motivation. Being a self-starter is the next step. My attempt to keep up in the Write in Every Genre Contest at the beginning of the year seemed like a perfect point to launch the blog. |
| Other Creatives. I'd like that to be a store name. Maybe my store. I'm snatching that term "Creatives" from Julia Cameron (and/or her co-author on The Artists Way, Mark), but I'm using it neutrally. Whereas, usually it was "blocked creatives" and "frustrated creatives" when they used it. Well, other creative people in my life, that is the topic I am grateful for today. That sounds lifeless -- guess I must elaborate. Truly, for me, surrounding myself with creative people includes not just the people I get to know personally -- I am especially grateful for those people. Then, expand that circle to the creative souls whose careers I follow; singer-songwriters, like Ed Sheeran and Sting, actors, like Val Kilmer and Hugh Jackman. Above those I hold dear the authors that I have met, Wil Wheaton, Robert Block, to name a few. Even if it is a new and unknown author, writers continuously enlighten me. Many are here on Writing.com, others are fabulously popular and get the benefit of having their words turned into popular films. (Another love, film.) That will be detailed at a future time in this month of gratitude, I'm sure.  |
| I am grateful for my understanding of money and value. Much of what I do for a living (in advertising) is so dependent on the concept of value. Of course, it is easy on a down day to think everything is crap or has no purpose. But today, I will acknowledge that seeing value in others, understanding the benefits that come to me by working in the world. In addition to the gratitude challenge I agreed to yesterday, I happened upon a minister's website where she listed an affirmative prayer centered on wealth. I do not often call wealth to myself, but I do fall into the trap of thinking myself "less than" or feel myself unworthy. Well, this prayer aligns God with wealth and so aligns me with wealth. http://bonniebarnard.com/practice/the-wealth-prayer/ |
| Another blogger I've started paying attention to, Robbie Cox, today proposed a month-long challenge that doesn't require me to be a non-stop typing monkey for the month of November. Instead, he states I can take a moment each day to declare something for which I am grateful. {link:http://www.themessthatisme.com/2013/11/an-attitude-of-gratitude.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheMessThatIsMe+%28The+Mess+That+Is+Me%29} Today, I will declare love for the privilege of driving. No one ever promised I would have a car at sixteen. I had to take a course during summer school, which unwittingly included me passing out from the heat (and it was not induced by Red Asphalt, it was induced by lack of AC in the building on that day). In addition, my parents somehow paid for driver's training practice hours, which I assume was in order to keep my parents from at risk while I was behind the wheel ... (joking). Finally, I had to show up to test at the Department of Motor Vehicles for the written to receive my permit then the practical (twice) to earn the final license. And, there was the gasoline, insurance and maintenance items like oil and filters that were newly my responsibility. So, should I also be grateful for my parents' ability to show their love -- allowing me that big step forward toward future independence -- by experiencing responsibility? Well, of course! |
| This cascade of interconnected ideas came pouring outta my head when I awoke from a two-hour solid nap tonight after work. I will describe it as a turning point. Like macrame, however, I see it as a long column of knots all done the same, and it creates a natural twist. We'll see if I can write that analogy at this point, and have it make sense after about a week's worth of entries.... With me, there's always tangents. Yet I draw connection -- can't always trace it back unless I'm documenting like this, but Here's the culmination of one: From the moment I pickup and read the endorsements in a new book, I am experiencing how tangents are formed in the brain. I'll be blogging about this book, and the first several pages are filled with praises for what this author is about to share with the reader. I like transparency, to know who these people are -- Kevin Mukherjee catches my attention because the national nonprofit he works for is not named. I get to experience the joy of 21st Century amatuer detective work in which I simply type his name into Google and know to go look at his LinkedIn Profile The MITRE Corporation, I have my answer.... (More to come) |
| California experiences every national holiday differently than other parts of the country; I just have this feeling, there's little scientific evidence to back my hypothesis. Due to our tropical/desert weather, one would expect that means the experience is better. But that depends which ideal holiday setting one prefers. Is Christmas brighter when the snow drifts heavily outside your home's bay window? I would not know -- never experienced it. I have only experienced a Times Square New Year's Eve because I can see it unfold on television. I only have a vague idea of the amount of layering to allow for on a New York city street at 11:59 p.m. intimately surrounded by hundreds upon thousands of other people. I can estimate the bodily preparation required by having spent a four hour evening shift in late December of 2009 doing the volunteer floral assembly on a Tournament of Roses Parade float in 45 degree Farenheit still air. I also expect as uncomfortable as I was in that temperature, it's hardly comparable. I see pictures of one of my Midwestern cousin's clan out for Halloween Trick or Treatin' and wonder if curfews are followed just so children return without frostbite? And yet I also know their tolerances to cold are set at a higher bar than mine as well. I'm only just pulling out sweaters and putting away shorts and sandals having reached November. I'd like to know if any readers that come across my blog have similar stories to tell --- How does living in a particular area of the world color your understanding of people in different circumstance? On a more serious, but related tangent, I made a personal note to my government today, at the urging of the group, ONE. I want the U.S. to guarantee this year to put forth an impactful amount to hammer away at AIDs, Malaria and TB across the globe. Diseases I know of, but have little fear of contracting due to all that I have been provided in my American life. And I'm grateful -- so very grateful -- Suddenly being aware enough to see how the economic strength of this country, and of others allows us to have a needed, active, compassion in the world. And feeling just a bit of shame for what I complain over at times, or what my children mightily fuss about that they go without. I know there are nice treats that I allow myself more often than a body needs. If I could just let some of my life's necessities become the donations that make this guarantee happen consistently, And a bit hopeful that because not everyone is aware, that so by speaking these words, I direct others to the words of ONE.org. |
My childhood was anchored to a long-held family genealogy that traced through my maternal grandmother to the famous Mohican chief Joseph Brant (Thayendanegea). It was exciting to claim, even as the connection clearly was distant to look at my very Caucasian family. Those recollections and a desire to belong have swirled with them certain touchstones related to Native American pop references from early on. The television PSA commercials during the Seventies featuring Iron Eyes Cody  , for a start. I was specifically enamored of Tonto's Pinto, likely due to a resurgence of adventure on television in 1980 and its attendant toy marketing. With that horse called Scout, add, that my ardor was reinforced by Tonto's portrayal on the big screen by Michael Horse , also at the beginning of the Eighties.By the time I was a young adult, the Kevin Costner film based on Michael Blake's novel, Dances With Wolves, completely captivated me. I know I am not alone in recognizing the way that one film catapulted personal admiration for American Indian life to new levels, particularly the Lakota. For me, it drew my attention away from the marginal and impersonated portrayals, and caused me to thirst for information on the true nature of the First Americans. My biggest hurdle? The seeming incompatibility of living in a computer age and wanting connection to a disenfranchised people and a history based in a spoken language struggling to survive. Even in making that statement, I recognize my own arrogance. I expect the information to be brought to me. I recently connected with the BookNook community and agreed to review this book, Returning to the Lakota Way: Old Values to Save a Modern World And in seeking answers in my own lazy sort of way, I will say honestly that I was so happy to find author Joseph M. Marshall III the storyteller that he is, and that his experience was gathered in an easily readable format, making this such an enjoyable read.At less than ten chapters, with the various Sioux stories based in themes like Wisdom, Tolerance, Patience, etc., I appreciated the beautiful descriptions, the correlations, and the gravitas within such an accessible read. Each story ends with the way to pronounce in the Lakota language the theme. The author also then takes time to express how the story relates to experiences in his own life raised on the Rosebud Reservation. He is able to reflect back on childhood appreciation as well as the lessons he perceives now that he is older and observing a device-driven world. I particularly liked the author's personal comments about tolerance. He states things more clearly than politicians who have speech writers. His take on tolerance is colored by the experience of his people, but it is very tempered considering. I found that the author engaged and masterfully altered my perceptions about topics I felt I'd already formed a resolute opinion on. Look for his worthy comments after the chapter about the crow family assisting the hunt of the wolf family . I also enjoyed the chapter titled, The Journey. This story, and his own is the true heart of this book -- the coming of age for a person or even a whole society unsure where they stand. After reading this entire book, I can accept my weaknesses as a two-legged in this world. And appreciate more fully that this world has the abundance of life upon it and all types of wisdom to be seen in the natural order of it all. I acknowledge that I received this book free of charge from Hay House in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion. You can purchase a copy of Returning to the Lakota Way on the Hay House website. If you like the additions of book reviews to my blog, please feel free to comment, dear followers. |
| Some of my interests assert themselves in a cycle I've never quite figured out. I really enjoy listening to music. I have several favorites from the 1980's like Sting and Billy Joel. Presently, Ed Sheeran, and yes, even One Direction have my ear. The new British Invasion. I have enjoyed the Beatles as history mostly. That may be a weird way of saying it, but since their being together as a band really came and went while I was a small child, my interest in the band always feels like I'm catching up on a dense patch of musical history. I'm glad that individually the band members of the Beatles had a continuing impact, and some do to this day. I look on the recent comparisons of the Beatles popularity in America with the chart-topping by 1D in 2012 with curiosity. Distribution of music and word of mouth is wildly different, but the music industry has also learned a few things since the Beatles too -- mostly bad for listeners, but great for investors. I'm a total noob at iTunes, but that has me intrigued too. Another interest that takes up time: crafting. For me this includes sewing, knitting, inventing reuses for found items. So, of course, Pinterest has become an interesting stash of fetishes and other people's images. I'm going to mention cooking here also (it fits in with the inventing from found items, I'm sure my family would say). There shouldn't be anything that takes up more time than cooking in one's life, but I know my obsessive side better. I can be perfecting something and my family's hunger be damned.... Then the writing probably tops it. I doubt I'll make a formal agreement to be part of NaNoWriMo this year, but that doesn't mean I won't be working on a novel or three. I've recently noticed that my WDC portfolio item count has reached 199. And I am not driven to create #200. I wonder what stops me? This is not to say that I have stopped writing, I've been very consistent the last month or so. My trick has been that my continuing writing is in established items that are part of a collection, such as this blog, an interactive I've slowly been adding chapters to {sitem:1921004] (back to the musical boy band obsession); most of the others are so deep "in the works" I don't show them publicly in my portfolio. Very soon, I'll have a day in my blog that I will keep a regular appointment to review a book. I'm hoping this and some other ideas will make my entries here more cohesive. |
| What if God's been "on the internet" so to speak, while we were just demanding, "I want my MTV!" And what if our current uses and understanding of technology were causing that communication gap to shrink. What once felt like a thousand years separating human understanding from the creative all-ness that is God's understanding...What if we've shrunk that gap down to just thirty years from the thousand? The space between is shrinking rather than keeping us further apart...but we both have to keep on it. Maybe this is the way to visualize the New Age and expect all our good. This perspective even allows me to see how I fret over my kids wanting to be more connected to technology, and what I worry about could be wrong -- or moving backwards. I'm the one bedeviling it. |
| I wake up this morning and do the psuedo "touch my toes" that wakes my back. Make the few steps march to allow the dogs out the back door, and I notice, in the small amount of light available to me, where my eyes fall. The back window, looking out to the black sillhoettes of my backyard also gives me the thrilling view of downtown buildings alight. I realize that the little zap of life they give me, seeing them this way, is because they remind me of Christmas lights. That kind of decoration has so often been part of my life (actually part of a family that seeks them out), or that it's tied to particularly joyful times that rise above more stressful ones. So, even though September has some history with me -- noted for being a "down" month; October can always be counted on to be part of the upswing. I may not like the way the switch back from Daylight Savings has me leaving work in the dark, but there's something new in being attuned to the dark morning again that I do like. Best line from Tin Man (2007) "You know you really should do something about that BITTER cynicism of yours Cain." |
| Oh, what has kept me from making entries in the journal this week? Foremost, I've always known I'm a bit bored writing as a journalist. I'd rather make things up and have an approximation of reality to build upon bit by bit. Writing class...actual homework, which I can say with pride that I have been completing.... Reading Sting's autobiography, Broken Music at a very interested pace...And finishing it earlier tonight, I can say I very much like his storytelling. I expected good writing from him, but I'm even more impressed, in hindsight, at his ability to express so much in just 15 chapters (just over 300 pages total in this hardback). I can only wish that Gordon Sumner has the inclination and the time to write about later chapters of his life -- the whole period of his solo career, and the areas he's currently branching out into (Broadway). Finally, spending time visiting, and bringing knitting instead of writing along. I suppose that has taken my attention from some of the regular practice. I'm reminding myself to push in that regular practice. |
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