this is a fit enough tribute to Lesia. I am glad I am reading these words from her husband.
You have given a fair sketch of her character, her personality. Glad she wrote to you and caused you to marry her. Marriages, they say are made in Heaven. I truly believe that age old saying.
Her loving and caring nature shines through your words. I am sure she would love them.
Years of being partners for life, couples would definitely shed influence on each other. Unawares we follow what they would like us to do and behave.
"Being with Lesia made me a better person."
That is indeed the best outcome of wedded life with Lesia.
Your poem makes me aware of the pain of heartbreak.
I can also see that you need someone like a life partner by your side.
You bring the grief you are going through in a visual way.
“A single tender
Timid tear..”
Pain-painted face
Sulking serenade
Saddened sea
Adjectival phrases such as above make the poem come alive.
Nice poem that flows spontaneously.
The pain of seeing your life partner in the ICU is narrated quite visually. It is as if I was there actually witnessing the amount of pain both of you were going through.
Doctors and the life saving machines can help only to a limited extent. After that it’s God’s will that takes place.
This is one such situation where everyone is rendered helpless. We just watch them sliding away from life.
These are the moments that mellow us so that our sympathies would go out to those, who suffer.
Let her rest in peace.
Indeed night-sky is alluring enough to become a vital force, the source of fertile imagination.
The beginning shows the radiance of innocence, the bliss of ignorance.
Yet, as morning arrives, dark secrets are exposed and so..
“the pristine beauty of my imaginings” are denied for an imperfect soul.
The darkness in the soul is so dense that even nature turns away in disgust by withdrawing the night sky.
No soul is perfect. We endeavour to achieve a fraction yet fail miserably.
Power packed poem like some of those soul searching classics.
Effectively told story.
We had a similar experience of getting lost on a trail while we were on a visit to Atlanta.
We felt like exactly the two people in the story reacted to being alone and directionless.
The travails of being lost in wilderness are tellingly brought to the reader.
The element of suspense and horror are impressively shown in the last part of the story.
The feelings of the lost couple are naturally depicted.
I commend your memory. You were able recall something that took place when you were a mere six year old. Each step of the incident is well shown.
I hope they administered the right remedy to cure the problem.
Your story made me realize the value of eye and eye sight. Life is a burden without the ability to see. It is the most important of all faculties which allows us to go through life with pleasure.
The boy's misery during the short time in which he couldn't see reaches out and the reader's sympathy would be for him.
You never know when a chance to brighten someone's day comes along. This experience of yours shows the value and exhilaration you feel when you make someone share and smile.
Hi jdonne,
I am Jaya and I spotted this nonfiction story in your port to which I am drawn. The fact that when you see someone without a smile, give one of yours sounds sensible and appropriate. Its value increases if it has a positive effect on the other person.
Saying Hi takes hardly a minute yet like the words Please and Thank you, it helps to lift the mood of someone.
No wonder you felt elated by making this lonely person smile and brought cheer to her on that day.
Hi,
this last goodbye to a departed dear member is well done. Those moments in the wake of death bring back memories that flood the minds of those present.
The mention of what lies ahead is also raised in an appropriate way. We do wonder what happens to the soul once the physical body is no more.
"Life that was promised to the soul eternal
Naught but a bridge to a dark beyond."
It is also heartening to know that the memories always bring the person to the mind and heart of those who loved him.
I find your poem pretty appealing because love, as you have so succinctly shown is a strange mix of the physical and spiritual fulfillment. As we advance, the latter becomes more vital to keep the flame of love burning.
The rhyming couplets flow well with appealing reasons to show what love is about.
"Can love be that unexpected thief?
Is love to share all the joys and grief?"
Is love a thief that steals a heart or a master that enslaves you to the one and only?
Hi,
I enjoyed reading this well conceived rhyming verse.
I agree that mirrors do not lie. They reflect truth. Physical changes are shown starkly.
You have brought the hidden truth about accepting it without being affected by the unsavoury details.
I realise that spirit is indefatigable. Nothing like a positive attitude.
Look for beauty in the broken, light in the dark.
This is a nature lover’s poem with which I can relate.
Hi espero,
I am reviewing this free-style poem for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a nature blessed day!
It is clear that we are kindred spirits as far as love and concern for nature are concerned.
Nature with its aspects of hills, trees, valleys and waterfalls is irresistible. It provides us with valuable nourishment for body, mind and soul.
“….it has made me feel refreshed and renewed.”
Like Wordsworth’s “Daffodils” nature inspires us to relive her vistas of beauty and bliss.
I feel the same about destruction of the wealth of nature for greed and power. What they destroy is irreplaceable, and what they create is unbearable.
Rivalry and revenge seem to stretch on to the world of vampires.
No longer could Ira and Trochee, the vampire pair could get away from the murder of a human, now newborn.
Details-
The story is in details. You did a great job describing the two revelers, the man whom they killed and his morphing into a vampire are well dealt with.
Time to pay them back, the corpse-like body moves and gets ready to wreak revenge.
Wonder what happened next. Perhaps you could expand the flash. You got all the ingredients necessary to tell a longer story. Characters, locale and motive are present.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a great day.
The first two lines are well composed. Many can instantly relate to them.
Pain finds no voice is the idea that finds apt images in the course of next few lines.
Here's someone who could or would hide it and suffer in silence.
Finally detaching from the one that caused it forever.
"The line that was there
For ever broken"
The intensity of pain finally led to cold detachment. Not all could be that controlled.
The ill effects of baby sitting by a young girl find expression here.
Instead of looking for a mature and motherly type of a woman, here’s the mother holding her young daughter for the job and for her convenience. Utterly unfair!
The story needs to be revised and edited.
Edits-
Regarding one single paragraph with no punctuation.
You wrote a single para, which is made to carry a series of events, feelings, deeds and their reactions.
Sense gets lost in the maze of words with no stops and commas in one long sentence.
Suggestion-
Divide the paragraph into a required number of sentences.
Example-
Your sentence.
“There once was that was sixteen years old…..baby sitting”
This can easily be said in three short sentences.
There once was a girl.
She was sixteen years old.
She had no experience in baby sitting.
If punctuation is followed, this could be an appealing story.
Hi!
this poem appears to embrace several aspects that rule life leading to death that ultimately redeems.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day.
"Walk" is used as a symbol of many things that human being is engaged with.
Like fighting a war till all the feelings disappear and life becomes an automated machine. It blazes a trail of tears and dripping of blood due to extreme violence, till happiness is wiped out for the concerned individuals.
All the great warriors and kings battled till they realized the joy of ending a war. So it is for the present day soldier whose mind turns mechanical in the process of his profession.
"Walk till you are nothing
And be happy you won’t see the war"
Edit-
"...and it woes that bind you"
(and its woes that bind you)
To me this sounds like trying to find stability in chaos. The mind is in chaos boiling with several situations and ideas. Free association writing is supposed to be therapeutic.
Hi! I am Jaya and am reviewing this very curious poem on what looks like a mind conjuring several things.
Congratulations as you enter another year of creativity at the WDC.
Have a great day.
The one in the poem suffers from some kind of illness with no help to fall back upon. Hence a loner in a desert land or a great expanse of the sea fearing death and is aftermath.
"Who will save our weakened souls?
Who will carry us away?'
Questions seem like fragments of a mind either dreaming or hallucinating. He/she appeals for
stability and strength, the core elements of a happy life.
I appreciate this free style poem on relationships.
This review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a nice day!
You brought out the positive and negative aspects of relationships in life enhancing their appeal by using sensitive imagery.
It is absolutely true that we depend on parents, friends and spouses to steer clear of tensions and also further our success and confidence. Yet, there are people who strive to find solutions all by themselves.
Relationships have a way of ending somewhere by some means like separation or death.
Relationships are like ships that pass in the night. They disappear eventually.
Your poem vividly sketches the fate of a person when his/her relationship cracks.
“…..you begin to drown in emotion.”
Ah, no. A balanced and a well processed individual has a better way to withstand the buffeting winds of emotion.
The ultimate question-
“ Can anyone help…?”
Help comes from within as anyone is bound to find out.
Imagery and emotion are in balance.
Well, I enjoyed it as it gave me some food for thought.
I can see and appreciate the way you purge your mind off the vexing thoughts, “the dead celebrities” by means of meditation. I am glad to see this solution worked for you.
Our minds are not like mountains, stately, stable and tranquil. They are more like a river, whose waters are ever in flux, never at rest. Thoughts never cease.
There are a number of examples you showed of both kinds, the beneficent and the not so beneficent.
“Now what is the freaking ….” only to strengthen your resolution.
I find it quite humorous.
House ghosts pose no problems if you know how to counter them, at which you excelled.
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