You do write like one.
I saw this ghost story in this week's Short stories Newletter. This is a deserving mention.
You created a haunting atmosphere in the woods. The ambiance is right. The friends' quest was fulfilled. Great!
What I liked-
The mist. Curling around and catching the person in its web of gossamer delicacy, is beyond doubt, a winning point.
Appearance of the girl on a swing with a musical locket on, is something I could clearly conceive.
The bad guys are dealt with, in a deserving manner. His aim of the chase being,
"The thrill of the chase, the intoxication of flirting.." Fond of ax murdering too.
"Theo and Jake’s gazes met briefly in silent understanding. Then, with a mutual nod, they lunged forward."
The wages of sin being death, the girl's ghost on the swing did the right thing, by delivering poetic justice.
Alliteration-
It slipped into the story several times quite spontaneously. It lends a poetic flavor to the story.
"Tendrils of fog, seeming sentient in their sinuous movement, slithered ..."
You told an appealing tale beginning with a sentence that hooks the reader.
My thoughts-
The warning is repeated.
" “Mara is the lucky one. I let her go. I won’t do the same for you…”
" “I told you. Mara was the lucky one. I let her go. I’ll never do the same for you…”
A suggestion-
The second line might be just
"Mara was the lucky one."
The setting and the characters carved along lines of Victorian age, succeeded in capturing my imagination.
Modelled like the trend-setting novels of Jane Austen, Chapter 1 is a precursor to the events to follow. Here again, you are letting my imagination take to wings.
Characters-
Though they appear to be stock characters, they certainly exhibit minds of their own.
Lady Henry is critical, yet there’s sense in the points she made.
Mary and Juliet are interesting in their individual idiosyncrasies, I believe.
Mr. Green is a closed book except for certain expected behaviour, such as bearing with the company he sought and being pleased after a while. A normal human being.
Language and style are impressively Victorian. Manners, habits and rules of civility are beautifully shown.
“Mary set her fork down……. she murmured.”
You have brought in the atmosphere of a Victorian soiree in a telling way.
I found this poem on the sideline of a Newsletter. It appealed to me because it is significant and relevant to all.
What I like-
is the way you have juxtaposed youth and later stages. You brought out the physical differences and then the underlying advantages of being an aged person.
Imagery-
Images of youth and age are shown vividly.
"In days of youth, we danced with boundless glee,"
as opposed to,
"Upon our brows, it paints its fine lines deep,"
The ABAB rhyme scheme and the tempo are well maintained throughout the poem.
This poem serves to console those, who regret becoming old and slow. None can reverse the wheel of time.
The sooner we realize, the better our lives are.
Love knows no boundaries. Even in death he remembered the beautiful moments of autumn that his wife reminded him of.
His mind and soul must have experienced peace and tranquility of autumn in the lap of nature as she rests.
Hi As***a,
I am Jaya, reviewing this rare story of love told in a chain of memories. Memories are like precious bonds between the living and the departed.
"Those wild walks though the autumn woods?"
This story runs like a poem with visual imagery, imagination and spontaneous memories recollected in later life.
Fifty years of marital bond blown away by the breeze of death. How much pain one can bear by losing life partner to suddenly standing lonely and lost. A fistful of heart bears anything.
A beautiful poem on marriage and the bonding together through the thick and thin of life for an incredible fifty years.
It also shows the way a couple should live to love and depart when time arrives.
Nobody knows the whereabouts of the departed. Suffering lasts till the end of life.
Wonderful imagery showing the joyous moments in time.
This is all that matters. Drive and enthusiasm with hope as a dominant note into the symphony of life.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations! as you ring in another year of creativity into your account.
Have a wonderful day!
I realize how important it is to live with hope under all circumstances, because life is not a bed of roses alone. It includes unforeseen or expected adversities.
The moment we look at them as stepping stones to success, life becomes much easier than before.
Hope is a great breakfast, a great lunch and dinner as well. Let's hang on to it come what may.
Wonderful!
I realize the benefits of having English-teaching parents. True, it's their fault if you read and write meticulously.
My review here is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a cheerful day.
I am glad you have incorporated a short grammar lesson into the essay. I see the reason. With a mother like her, you are assured of flawless use of language both spoken and written. Few follow rules of language while speaking, as I have noted.
(You see, English is taught as a second language for us, in India. So, the teachers are strict about tenses and subject-verb agreement etc.)
There is just one point that troubles me a bit.
"When I was in 12th grade, I discovered that Mom had incorporated some of my high school research papers into her teaching curriculum."
Love of a woman is love for a lifetime is well enunciated in this short but purposeful free style verse.
It's a lucky man who gets the true love of a woman devoted beyond the present. As the stages of life progress and change, so are the shades of love that stretch on to forever.
"That soars above the surface of self.."
Imagery is easily a point to be noted as do the sentiments voiced with emphasis.
The poet makes others aware of the deep bond of love, possible if only he tries to understand.
like a smile that reaches out, your article touches my heart.
My review of this useful article is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on ushering in yet another creative year at the WDC.
Have a lovely day!
Smiling suits everyone, for it spreads beauty and cheer. Even while going through difficult situations, a smile goes a long way relieving the tension in the sufferer.
As happened with the lady with a scar, a smile brings unexpected beauty and brightness to the face.
Written in a flowing prose style with a language that captures my attention, this article will stay on mind for a long time.
Actually, you don't hate but love commas. Humor at its driest. Loved the way you handled it.
Hi, I am Jaya reviewing this nice piece of writing for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you step on another year at the WDC.
Have a wonderful day!
The mock dialog is an eye opener for many of us, who get confused when it comes to the use of commas.
"Grammarly: If you don’t put them in, I will redline every word you say from now on!"
I am afraid I have had my own numberless redlines.
I see that how important a part, a comma plays in writing. Almost like a backbone.
I am totally taken by this rhymed verse.
The poet, faithful to the Lord she believes in, surrenders herself to Him.
In times trouble, she leans on him because she feels that He alone can deliver her from it.
He is like the master that leads her in the right direction on the path of life.
She visualises Him as kind and tender-hearted and not cruel or wrathful.
The devotee is seen through visual imagery as kneeling, absorbed in prayer.
This poem depicts the confession of true feelings to the Almighty.
A spiritual poem giving inspiration to those, who act out of impulse and regret in leisure.
Every life has its own quantity of highs and lows. Everybody loses balance. But as the poet indicates, it is up to us to realize faults and repent so we start again and the circle comes round.
The edge of sadness shouldn't plunge us into a bottomless abyss. We need to give ourselves a chance to self examine as the poem shows.
Imagery and spontaneous flow of feelings catch my attention.
You took the story meandering through many dark and secret alleys.
Cages, damsels chosen for the carnal pleasure of a monster whose offspring has vampire qualities and the just released woman who knew how to pick locks and so it goes till the end when the pieces fall in place.
Looks like a right recipe for a dark fantasy.
Dialog fits well and so are the emotions on the human and inhuman faces.
Wonderful creation.
It was shocking to see the ending in such a dreadful way when we least expected it. Your timing was good. Just about relax after a boring reunion and there you are witnessing something traumatic .
The setting fits and so does the description. This tale begs to be continued. Hope to see the sequel. Why did they do it? Vendetta? Pastime robbery or murder or both?
Language and style flow with ease taking the reader along.
Change of plans to make both feel at home.
Anticipation to eat out turns more enjoyable to be alone and cooking dinner.
Imagery is stunning.
Hi, I am reviewing this lovely free verse for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you turn a year older at the WDC.
Have a wonderful day!
I don't know about the political side of this poem but the social side certainly is enticing.
Her demands are understandable. Utter privacy and enjoying dinner being cooked for two seem to set tone to a differently romantic evening. Walking barefoot in her kitchen is what she wants.
I hope you have started following the writing plans you have drafted so well.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on stepping on to yet another year at the WDC.
Have a wonderful day!
Your Dear Me is a great way to look at your writing career from an objective point of view. You took yourself to task and reprimanded for what has not been done. I ask you soft-pedal on self if you could. I can see there are several inconvenient situations that might deter your writing. However...
The goals you have are praise-worthy. I am inclined to take a leaf out of your example, if you don't mind.
Yes, I agree that writing needs constant practice or else Muse threatens to leave me.
Hi Holly,
nice reading about your ponderings with regard to your grandpa's book case and the ornaments made of massacred elephants collected somewhere in a "in a distant land."
My review here is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on turning a new page at the WDC, which I am sure you love.
I see you as a young 6 year old and later at an age, when you paused to think of the elephants.
" African elephants had been killed to craft these souvenirs for tourists.'
Indeed that is the sad fact of attracting tourists.
But the fact of your noticing these hidden hurting of the animals, shows your sensitivity towards them and the awareness of cruelty involved therein.
Only on the day we give up love for fancy artecrafts, such cruelty could be avoided.
Language and style are the bonus points for the reader.
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