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Looks like I may have a ton of these, so this is collection 1 of Reflections |
| Was watching some recaps of this season's TUF 18 I feel a bit odd every time I enjoy a good fight and picture myself in it. Mark used to say he never understood my fascination with fighting. Makes me think that's only because he's so afraid of his 'beast'/inner demons. We all have them. I may have never been physically abused but I have the mental scars that can prove way more just as damaging. Thus: "It's not physical pain that scares me, it's the emotional scars left behind that give me nightmares." -Me Not literal nightmares, daymares actually.... Anywho, I googled this phrase to ensure I had the right to coin it as my own. Found some similar and would like to share: He never physically hit me, but the psychological blows left scars just the same." -Lisa Arends http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-arends/ptsd-after-divorce_b_2519897.html ION ▼ |
In response to Review of "MixedEmotions"  :'an exceptional talent with a future in writing' thanks so much, what an amazing compliment  "(the reason for conjoining the title's two words is lost on this reviewer)" it retrospect it's kinda lost on me too, I remember enjoying the juxtaposition of 'dE' being next to each other (lower vs. uppercase) and I think the feel of the poem translated into how close the words were....idunno my mind does abstract odd things w/o my permission sometimes "uncertainty about a workplace romance."..." Enamored with a co-worker," The 'workplace' is only one-sided, the speaker is actually a regular customer of the intended, I should have made that clearer or hinted somehow but I like it as is now... "eye rhyme" Never thought to describe them as such, I like it "a helpful exercise is to have someone cold-read the piece aloud" Good idea "Favorite wording - If only you really had hung the moon, / then I would be justified, / if when you smiled I swooned." Glad to hear you say so, I modified the 1st line a couple times, still think I like it better without "really", but if I took it out I'd change my mind, again. "- Nancy Ann, a WDC friend wrote," First off, it fascinates me that you enlist the reading of others, for that you have my thanks; this a regular occurrence for you or just random? Any who, I like Nancy's idea, I may do that! "- Edna, a poet said, "Short lines do not fold prose into poetry. " Edna thinks it should be written more narratively? Think that's what she's saying. I can see that....for sake of contest and I think style though I like as is "- A third friend, Arlene, emailed, "Still another starting-out poet who guesses what a rhyme is" Lol, u can assure Arlene there was no guess work, I have no delusions of grandeur or amazing poetic skills and HELLO "puppy love" come now, where's Leney's sense of loose punery (yes I made that word up)? ;-P "Reflection: what emotion or image should arise without effort for readers?" I would say: a sense of 'I know what you mean' and 'bit dramatic, but yea, I feel ya' "Bucolica's lecture on the value of a well-crafted title " Very true, what would be some of your suggestions? Question: typically, who is your target audience? I suppose it changes with each item I write; oddly enough, when I feel compelled to write (without prompts or prompting) the main audience is me; what interests me?, what would I want to read?, what's something I want to look back on years from now and enjoy the re-reading of? Writing for WDC has changed/encouraged that a bit, first by writing for judges, I don't spend a lot of time reading their judging styles but if I write for a contest I generally want to win and tend to write with the judge in mind (if I know what they like) and of course by following rules/guidelines. With "MixedEmotions"  my audience is every single other person that has struggled with unrequited love, it's basic, it's strong, and it's real; I merely want to let this audience see my side of the struggle and I hope they can relate in a way that they have not been able to relate/explain to others before. |
Adventures in Office Land: And now from "Earn GPs for getting Interactive! CLOSED"
been having a lot of 'desktop worthy' weather lately, it's what I call beautiful cloud free skies that tend to make the grass look greener/nicer, like the standard windows desktop background Thought process: from Adventures in Officeland - 3rd day at Wellpoint a.k.a. Cube Station I appreciate and LOVE my job, but life's (and this week the weather's) too beautiful to be stuck in a cubicle and away from the windows....those big beautiful windows..... Day 3 - Inadvertently cut off a co-worker on way to work (thankfully he was good natured about it) then trapped myself inside the revolving door. *palm*forehead* I should write about that..... Day 4 - Granny had emergency surgery to drain an infection in her throat....not good for an 83 yr old but she pulled through! ANYWHO, I overslept til 9:58 AM!!!*Shock**Worry**Sick* Thankfully this company is soooo relaxed, I'll make up the hours but MAN! First week on the job..... Week 2, Day 6 - Co-worker talks about how she was going to make a pumpkin cheesecake but didn't. I mentioned how I went to Wal-Mart over lunch and thought about buying mini-cupcakes to share at the office. She proceeds to tell me about how her dessert was going to be low-fat and how so many people just don't know that you can make low-fat cupcakes at home with apple sauce instead of oil and blah blah blah.... she's nice and all, but gets a lil more conservative/nit-picky by the day. So glad I met her, she's practically writing future characters for me. Bigsmile Welcome to my brain vault worker-muse/overtly conservative/opinionated charicature stereotype |
| Short musings on the movie with Maya Rudolf. Scene/Theme Prompt: Moving, making life for new baby, visiting world of others to realize they're just as 'f'ked up' as you are....I love it. |
| Scene Prompt: mentor goes out w/ girl after he rejects her for suggesting sex/ she is more like her mom than she wants to believe (even though mom tried to help and warn her) and he tried to reject her ‘why are u/we doing this’ but…he’s still young and selfish and the mistake was made, though he wouldn’t say sorry (at current time convinced himself he was in the right, and on some level maybe he was….) I love watching that in movies…that struggle. That moment when you/the character know you’re going to make a bad mistake but u convince urself it’s not bad, or u ignore it and make a cheap/impossible/”pointless” (lacking better word) attempt to NOT do it b/c in the end you know, or those on the outside know, that you were going to make it all along, nothing you could have done/said would have changed that (u making the bad decision) and one day maybe you’ll have the balls/intelligence to admit it to yourself out loud b/c you can’t hide from your mind/conscious anymore; it’s back there (the truth/honesty/realism/being human/tendency to make mistakes), buried under clothes (like clothes in closet under bed)/good thoughts/rationalizations you come up with to heap over on top of your reality I think that’s better than not making those decisions. Don’t make them all the time and over and over but once or twice isn’t bad; depending on what it is (sex for instance) thrice or 50 times isn’t too bad; image(-ine) if he/u didn’t make those mistakes, or any mistakes; imagine all you did was judge and be all mighty and higher/holier than though on ur throne of righteous indignation at the lower morals/classes; where’s the fun in that? You become bitter, you’re not mad at them for making the poor decisions, ur mad at them for having the gall to be happy after having made those decisions b/c u urself were too chicken shit to do it first hand; and you don’t understand it b/c u haven’t been there, you haven’t ‘walked in their shoes’ to get to the place of understanding…. It’s that coming to terms with the fact that you are a horrible person, that makes you grow, that makes/helps you to realize, that you are an amazing person, worthy of making mistakes, right(fully) for enduring the consequences they come with and better for having made them and gone through something; something that those w/o the balls/guts to make those stupid mistakes will never be able to understand/contemplate. You’ve lived. If you don’t live what do/will you have to show for it? How can anyone ask you for advice/seek your counsel? People don't relate to those 'better' than themselves, they relate to other humans....mistake makers....people. |
| So this 17 year old MIT acceptee takes out a wife and child while driving drunk. After 4 years spent incarcerated she rejoins the workforce as a high school janitor. I can scarecly imagine what it would feel like to walk through life knowing you destroyed a family. Killed a child. Forget about that fact that as a black woman I probably would have gone away for much longer than 4 years. But would it have mattered? If I didn't die in jail....I'd probably just be dead inside. She reconnects with the father of the family. He was driving, went into a coma for an undisclosed amount of time before coming to, retiring to his country house and existing as an imbibing farely functioning alcoholic. He was a composer, the music throughout compliments this fact. I give her major kudos for having the guts to face him and do what she can to 'make up' for her disruption of his life. Story of the Russian space man was intriguing. I was about to go crazy with just the few seconds she spent tapping that knife on the wood table. But it is definitely a trick I plan to try next I have an annoying tick I can't shake. Turn an annoyance to music....best version of lemons to lemonade I've heard in a while... I'm weird. Why do I feel like I could cry at him playing the violin saw? I just did NOT expect it to sound so....human. Seriously, sounds like a soprano female opera singer....weird. Ok, this is too freakin weird....I thought it...even expected it but....I mean come on! How jacked is he gonna be after realizing he f'ked his family's murderer..... Yep, she's worse off than I thought. Holy what?! His son was 5? Wife pregnant with girl....but in the beginning it was definitely a girl in the backseat. [Edit: Upon rewind, it was indeed a boy. My bad.] Is she already ON earth 2? Did she throw up because of what she did or because the facts are different? Makes sense he never found out the minor's name...though I wonder if he could have found out if he wanted to. Anyways, she better not tell him. It will only do him more harm. Delightfully awkward convo with a millionaire..... That was an interesting way to tell him.... Rhoda Williams So it's official. The intro was on one earth...and the rest of this movie is on the other.... Perhaps they are going back and forth between the two...though it's doubtful. That's a...kind gesture. But something tells me it wouldn't be that easy. I don't think the flight people would let her just give her ticket away....Then again maybe he told them his story. "Hey, yea, the girl whose ticket I have, she killed my family." Yea, I can see how that'd get him in. Holy snikies! I Got goosebumps...how did I NOT expect that?! I'm ashamed of myself. Of course her other self comes looking for her on Earth 2.....awesome. |
Preface One of the parties to the colloquy was the formidable Dr. James Murray, the editor of the Oxford English Dictionary. On the day in question he had traveled fifty miles by train from Oxford to meet an enigmatic figure named Dr. W. C. Minor, who was among the most prolific of the thousands of volunteer contributors whose labors lay at the core of the dictionary’s creation. For very nearly twenty years beforehand these two men had corresponded regularly about the finer points of English lexicography, but they had never met. Dr. Minor seemed never willing or able to leave his home at Crowthorne, never willing to come to Oxford. He was unable to offer any kind of explanation, or to do more than offer his regrets. Dr. Murray, who himself was rarely free from the burdens of his work at his dictionary headquarters, the famous Scriptorium in Oxford, had nonetheless long dearly wished to see and thank his mysterious and intriguing helper. And particularly so by the late 1890s, with the dictionary well on its way to being half completed: Official honors were being showered upon all its creators, and Murray wanted to make sure that all those involved—even men so apparently bashful as Dr. Minor—were recognized for the valuable work they had done. He decided he would pay a visit. Once he had made up his mind to go, he telegraphed his intentions, adding that he would find it most convenient to take a train that arrived at Crowthorne Station—then actually known as Wellington College Station, since it served the famous boys’ school situated in the village—just after two on a certain Wednesday in November. Dr. Minor sent a wire by return to say that he was indeed expected and would be made most welcome. On the journey from Oxford the weather was fine; the trains were on time; the auguries, in short, were good. At the railway station a polished landau and a liveried coachman were waiting, and with James Murray aboard they clip-clopped back through the lanes of rural Berkshire. After twenty minutes or so the carriage turned up a long drive lined with tall poplars, drawing up eventually outside a huge and rather forbidding red-brick mansion. A solemn servant showed the lexicographer upstairs, and into a book-lined study, where behind an immense mahogany desk stood a man of undoubted importance. Dr. Murray bowed gravely, and launched into the brief speech of greeting that he had so long rehearsed: “A very good afternoon to you, sir. I am Dr. James Murray of the London Philological Society, and Editor of the Oxford English Dictionary. It is indeed an honour and a pleasure to at long last make your acquaintance—for you must be, kind sir, my most assiduous helpmeet, Dr. W. C. Minor?” There was a brief pause, a momentary air of mutual embarrassment. A clock ticked loudly. There were muffled footsteps in the hall. A distant clank of keys. And then the man behind the desk cleared his throat, and he spoke: “I regret, kind sir, that I am not. It is not at all as you suppose. I am in fact the Governor of the Broadmoor Criminal Lunatic Asylum. Dr. Minor is most certainly here. But he is an inmate. He has been a patient here for more than twenty years. He is our longest-staying resident.” Although the official government files relating to this case are secret, and have been locked away for more than a century, I have recently been allowed to see them. What follows is the strange, tragic, yet spiritually uplifting story they reveal. |
| Standard bedtime prayer:As I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. God bless my mother, father, me, Mack, and everyone else. Modified daytime prayer:As I walk among the living; I pray you show me ways of giving. If I should die before the morrow, help my loved ones through the sorrow. God bless me, my family and everyone in the world. Amen If I do enough of these may make a new book. Not saying I'm right, just saying this is how I interrpret parts of the bible as if they were written today. Proverbs 31 Original The Sayings of King Lemuel 1 The sayings of King Lemuel contain this message,* which his mother taught him. 2 O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, 3 do not waste your strength on women, on those who ruin kings. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, to guzzle wine. Rulers should not crave alcohol. 5 For if they drink, they may forget the law and not give justice to the oppressed. 6 Alcohol is for the dying, and wine for those in bitter distress. 7 Let them drink to forget their poverty and remember their troubles no more. 8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. 9 Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice. A Wife of Noble Character 10 *Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 14 She is like a merchant's ship, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls. 16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. 19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 21 She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm* clothes. 22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. 24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. 27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. 28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 29 "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!" 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. 31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. |
| Initial reaction after 1st viewing (2//20/13 8:10pm) - Good...very good. Don't know about great. I love cinematography and it's truly full of beautiful shots, but the story line.....it really got to me. First time really connected/saw a movie where a little girl has to watch her father die....A year and some change later it hits home.... http://newblackman.blogspot.com/2012/09/bell-hooks-no-love-in-wild.html http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/08/what-beasts-of-the-sout... http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/01/11/oscars_2013_beasts_of_the_souther... |
| One of my all time favs Written by an African child and nominated by The United Nations as the Best Poem of 2006. And you calling me colored?? When I born, I black. When I grow up, I black. When I go in sun, I black. When I scared, I black. When I sick, I black. And when I die, I still black. And you white people. When you born, you pink. When you grow up, you white. When you go in sun, you red. When you cold, you blue. When you scared, you yellow. When you sick, you green And when you die, you grey… And you calling me colored?? |
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I just hope they can see it that way.