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 |  Day to day stuff....a memoir without order. |
 Imagination is described by Webster as...The act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses in reality. Albert Einstein said "Logic will get you from A to B, but imagination will take you everywhere."  I never realized it until I read it somewhere but there are ways to boost one's imagination: Create a visual journal Draw whatever you see for 15 minutes a day. You don't need to be an artist. Think like an artist Cut out pictures from magazines & piece them together to create an original image. Listen to Bach Close your eyes while playing your favorite music. Or listen to the sounds of nature on a CD or in the great outdoors. Play word games Try thinking of as many words as you can that begin with MAR...or you pick. Daydream Let your mind wander, or focus on a single object & study its characteristics.     Everyone has a story....here's mine.....c   |
| Over thirty years ago I was given a bread maker for some holiday, Christmas or birthday, I can't remember which, but I've used it very little. The bread it makes is okay tasting but weird looking. The loaf comes out square and not the right size for anything. Nowadays I buy my bread at the Publix bakery, sometimes sour dough, sometimes sunflower seed and they are very good and make excellent toast. I usually get it sliced and freeze it, taking out a piece as I want. Publix loaves run between $3.50 and $3.95 per loaf...which got me thinking about my bread machine. I pulled it out of the cabinet last Monday where it's been stored along with its instruction booklet and began to read. I found I could make dough and shape and bake the final product myself. Of course, I read this long ago, it just didn't sink in or may have seemed like too much bother...for someone who needed a bread machine. I had all the ingredients I needed except for fresh yeast so when I was out on another errand I picked up some new Fleischman's, and Monday afternoon I made bread. After I put in all the ingredients and set the timer on "dough", it took around 80 minutes from start to finish. I have to say it called for dry milk but since I had only a can of evaporated, I mixed that with an equal amount of water and used it to replace the water called for in the recipe. Who likes dry milk anyway? I always used evaporated milk for cooking because almond milk is my daily fare and its flavor does not lend itself to macaroni and cheese for instance. Once the machine beeped indicating I could dump the dough I expected a sticky mess but wonder of wonders, it dumped out fairly clean. I had my spot prepared with a sprinkle of extra flour. I punched down the puffy ball and shaped it into a new one, letting it rest a few minutes before rolling it out to an 8 x 12 rectangle and then rolling it up from the short end, jelly-roll fashion to form it into a loaf that would fit in my already sprayed bread pan. I covered it with sprayed Saranwrap and set it in a warmed oven. It doubled in size in around 30-35 minutes and then I baked it at 350 degrees till brown and crusty on top. The smell was "devine." I dumped it immediately onto a wire cooling rack and when it was completely cool, I sliced it (I made 20 thin slices), slid it into an old bread wrapper, smoothed out the air and put a twist tie on the end and popped it into the freezer. Okay, I confess. I ate a piece and it was yummy. So, then I tallied up my cost...50 cents! What a savings. until next time...c |
| I had a very enjoyable lunch yesterday with a member of our writing group. She had her 91st birthday last month and is amazing to me. She completed a 5K race last spring. Both of us lost our husbands within a year of each other so some of our conversation was sad but most was about happy times and of course...books and writing. Joan's writing a memoir also. Another friend from church was 100 last week and still going strong, hardly uses a cane to get around and a mind...as they say...sharp as a tack. His advice "keep moving." That's advice I need to take. I had my yearly physical last Monday and a phone call from my doctor's nurse yesterday informed me my cholesterol and ldl was up, not much but enough to take some action, no pun intended but action is the key word here. I'm vegetarian but still eat eggs and cheese and will need to cut back on those and increase beans, etc. I have switched to overnight oats...1/3 cup almond milk + 1/3 cup oats, leave covered in fridge overnight. In the morning I add a little Silk yoghurt and blueberries. It's very good. But my main problem is getting back to walking which I have neglected since last spring due to a combination of heat and fatigue. The less I do, the more fatigued I am, a vicious circle. And the 15 pounds I have gained in the last year is not helping. Also, the nurse says my white cell count is up so in 2 weeks I need to redo my labs. I read my Prednisone info sheet and it could be the reason. Hopefully, in September I will be able to cut back more on my dose. I do think the PMR is decreasing. We've been having showers, sometimes thunder bumpers, everyday lately and my grass is deep green and growing. I'll need to mow again soon. The last time I got gas for the mower, I mistakenly filled the 5 gallon container to the full line and had a terrible time lifting it into the truck and then lifting it to fill the mower...whew! But I don't think I will need more gas for quite awhile. Time to get moving... until next time...c |
| I finally broke down and ordered a French press (and a few other things, but more on that later) from Amazon, and I am now having the absolutely best cup of coffee I have ever had in my life! I will never drink another cup of drip coffee. It is so good. And now for the other things. These came with the press, "The Ultimate Self-Teaching Method to Play Ukulele" and a compact clip-on "Digital Tuner." The actual ukulele should be here on Wednesday or Thursday. Yes, I am going to try to learn to play the ukulele. Jim's favorite song, Izzy's Somewhere Over the Rainbow, has inspired me. I have been humming it for days. Wish me luck. I've looked at all kinds of helpful sites on the web, I play piano...a little...but apparently that is not going to be much help. If anyone has pointers, let me know. I understand from all I've read that the strings stretch to begin with and get out of tune quickly so I am prepared for that. I ordered the soprano uke because I have tiny hands and it is the smallest one, just hope my fingers are limber enough for the chord positions. You know what they say...learning something new is good for the old brain... until next time...c |
| I think we're going to have an early fall this year. I can't remember seeing fog in August but this morning it has settled over everything, not just spots, and the heavy air has a tiny tiny bit of coolness in it. It is more than welcome and my a/c thanks whoever or whatever is responsible. Being a memoirist, I was wondering last evening why we can't remember our early childhood...so of course to the net I go. I always thought it was because our brain was not formed enough, but think about it. The early years are when we learn so many things...language, right and wrong, love, and its opposite and so many many other things. We certainly remember language, why not things that happen to us? Well, apparently there is this thing called "childhood amnesia." The hippocampus is growing so rapidly some memories are destroyed as new memories are made, isn't that sad? And things we think we remember from 3 or 4 years of age are most likely from stories adults have told us. I have a picture of myself sitting in some meadow-like place with a white bunny rabbit. It looks like I must be around 2 or 3 years old and it may as well be someone else. I have no memory of it at all but my relatives have all told me, "yes, that's you, Connie." I'm sure you have photos like this too. There are snatches of things I do remember, being thrown up in the air and caught by an uncle, I think, and having a temper tantrum, pulling the cover and sheets off my bed in a fury when I was tiny because Mommy was going somewhere and wouldn't take me with her. Why do I remember these things and not others? I guess our childhood will remain a mystery...but why? until next time...c |
| It is so wonderful when some accolades come along to make up for those "rejection" emails...just when I needed them, one yesterday and one today, and now instead of resting my chin on my chest, it's tilted toward the sky. I don't care who you are, rejections depress and praise is powerful. It can make the difference between giving up and going on. One wonderful review came right here on WDC, just another reason to be a part of this kind community. And the other came from the husband of a member of my critique group. She shared my writing with him and then shared his very very kind remarks. So if you ever think you can't make a difference in someone's life, think again. Yes, you can. until next time...c |
| I have been cocooning again. Jim's 4 year anniversary came and passed on the 19th. I write in all kinds of things to do on my calendar for those days before and after but that's as far as I get. I have been doing my usual yard work so that's something. I don't usually write about touchy subjects like politics and religion but.... Why does Trump get so much press time? Everyday it seems he does something newsworthy. Hillary just chose her vp and I had to search to find it. Trump has mastered the con, the art of evasion, and how to get airtime without paying for it. I'm not in love with Hillary but I'm not a sheep either...although I did belong to the Woolgatherers once. I think that's what it was called...my memory, yikes. I have relatives and friends who love Trump and I can't figure it out. No matter what stupid, racist, blah blah thing he says, it's okay. Have they been brainwashed? Maybe that's what it is. Remember the 70s and all the cults? If you repeat something long enough, people start to believe it. "Make America great again." All I can do is shake my head and wonder why. And I'm doing it, too. Almost all my post about Trump. Damn! until next time...c |
| I ran across a word this morning that I'd never heard before...autotelic...meaning having an end or purpose in itself. Use that in a sentence? My writing is autotelic. My art is autotelic. My reading is autotelic. Oh, I love that word! It defines a lack of recognition or acclaim from others, succinctly. Because there's a word for it, it's okay. I can write for myself, paint and draw for myself or whatever I want to try, I can try it for myself. I don't have to make allowances for what someone else may think of it and have that interfere with the process. until next time...c |
| Well, I am back to writing my memoir/life history again. To be able to write about Jim's illness, I had to go back a little farther than I planned but it was the only way I could get comfortable. I think now I will be able to work my way forward, slowly. I'm not going to worry about the time and how long it takes me anymore. I checked the weather on the web this morning - cloudy but no rain - so I commenced to getting ready to cut the grass, old clothes, old tennies, slathered on the sun block, and got my hat. In the garage with the door still down, I filled the mower with gas, checked the oil and the tires, raised the garage door and WHAT? It was pouring! I'm all ready whenever....maybe tomorrow. So here I am working at the computer instead. I updated some stuff on my writing group's website, watched the hummingbird outside my window, printed the minutes for my book club on Tuesday, sent out the meeting reminder notice, "wasted" some time on FB, and finished a story for my Life History Group on Thursday. Our book club selection for Tuesday is The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George which I just finished yesterday. I had to force, and I mean force, myself to read it. I may have skimmed over some of it. I cannot figure out the point of the book. Out of 30 some selections (our book club will be 3 years old in September) this one has been the dullest. I'm anxious to hear what others think. Okay, I've gotten a little distance while writing this post so now I'm going back to working on my memoir. Hope you all have a great 4th! until next time...c |
| I was so all fired up writing my memoir/life history, up to 30,000 words but now I have come to a complete stand still. I am at the point in time when Jim began to be really ill and going downhill...and it's hard to know how to put it into words or if I want to put it into words. I really had this crazy idea that by Christmas I would be able to give the finished books as gifts to my children and grandchildren. Any suggestions or does anyone know of any writing books that address this type of problem, writing about a spouse's illness? until next time...c |
| Night before last I couldn't sleep. I have nights like this every once in awhile. They seem to be coming more frequently than they used to. I read in bed about an hour,I go to sleep, then in around two hours (1 o'clock), I wake up and can't go back to sleep no matter how long I lay there and try. This time while laying there trying to go back to sleep I kept thinking about my computer room and how I might rearrange the furniture in there. In my mind I moved the desk, the bookcase, my art supplies, rearranging furniture yet keeping what's on it the same so that I don't forget where things are. This is something that gets more important to me the older I get. My brain is going berserk moving all this furniture around so....finally, at 2:30 I got up and my virtual reality became reality. Without really thinking things through, especially about how heavy the stuff was, I started unloading everything on the bookcase first, realizing I would need to move it out of the way to get the desk over there. I didn't have to move either one very far, swapping places from one wall to the other. But it was still moving and the desk is a 3 x 5 laminated particle board...heavy. The bookcase is laminated too, a 4 footer and believe me, you couldn't squeeze one more thing on it. Somehow turning on the a/c never entered my brain. The room has a smooth carpet so after the bookcase was empty I was able to slide and walk it to the center of the room clear of the desk. I cleared everything off the top of the desk and commenced to taking out the drawers. On a level of 1-10 my mechanical and common sense skills rate around 5. Figuring out how the drawers are removed took around 30 minutes and involved the use of a flashlight and much squinting. With all this time and effort, sweat is dripping off my chin and still I don't think of turning on the air. Finally, I get the drawers out, the very heavy drawers. By this time emptying them is not an option, no place to put anything else. The desk is so heavy it is sunk (and seemingly stuck) into the carpet so I have to lift each end to get it loose and swing it just a teeny bit to get it out of the "hole". I realized this is how I could move it to the opposite wall, swinging to the left, alternating ends, walking it over. I'm getting tired just writing about it. I finally got the two pieces of furniture swapped and in place. The desk drawers went back in much easier than they came out. I put all the "stuff" back on the bookcase exactly as it had been, rearranged the desktop "stuff" a little, and collapsed into my computer chair around 5:30. At that point I remembered the a/c and turned it on. Why is it while a person is lying in bed "dreaming", she thinks she can do anything? Yet, during the day everything seems monumental and impossible, or maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way. Well, I rearranged the furniture, it looks great (I think) but I still can't believe I did it. I would never have attempted it in the daytime. And, consequently, yesterday I slept most of it. until next time...c |
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