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 |  Daily notes and timed freewrites but mostly my blog |
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All comments are encouraged, I am interested in what others think and feel along the topics I choose to write about. Highlighted entries: [#732826] "In Memory"        ![Merit Badge in Supportive
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Thank you for participating in [Link To Item #1157596] 2014 competition and for winning 3rd Place! *^*Trophyb*^* As a group, you guys did an amazing job! You should definitely be proud of yourself for all your hard work. *^*Glass*^* Here's to a successful year and I hope to see you in 2015! Cheers! ~ Gaby](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-G=46_o=46_T=46-1970219_14.gif) ![Merit Badge in Dark Dreamscapes
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Congratulations, you won First Place in the March 2014 round of [Link To Item #gooddeeds] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/WDC-Good_Deeds.gif)  |
I'm excited. The weekend begins and I am looking forward to assisting MichelleWriteMeow   with learning how to revise a first draft and then assist through the editing process. Of course, this weekend is just the start--the process will be taking up April at the very least lol (and May and...)  |
| And the Plot thickens--at work that is. My IS was at work and that prooved to be interesting in itself. No confrontations or heirarchy changes to this date--which I am very happy about. I don't mind waiting for the fireworks. At the beginning of the shift, she did something 'her' way even though everything had already been prepped by myself and the Night Shift Super last night (ended up making extra work for me)...It didn't set well with the NSSuper and he confirmed (when she was out of the room) that she 'may be' out of the supervisory position sometime soon. Meanwhile, I'm keeping as low a profile as I possibly can. Hmmm--low profile isn't difficult, I'm not that tall. lol |
I had an interesting night at work. All but the last four hours (10.5 hour work day) was April Fools. The Universe started out with gifting me with my IS (Immediate Supervisor) calling in sick. What a pleasant gift, too. I had a very stress free night at work. And guess what? I easily met the priority set for packaging tonight. Without me knowing it, the #3 boss of the whole plant watched my activities for the first three hours and told the overall night shift supervisor there needs to be a change in night packaging supers. Um well, there are only two of us working packaging at night. That leaves only me who is qualified to stand into the supervisory position. Unless, someone on days is placed on nights to supervise and I really don't see that happening. But--APRIL FOOLS!--I suppose if it were the Universe playing games, a third person could come onto nights just to fill the super's position. So short story long--I may be asked to fill the night shift packaging supervisor slot and my present super will be asked to step down. I will have to kill her with kindness if this happens. She isn't the kind of person who is friendly when her ego is hurt. One good thing about this whole mess, I've got 2 years more experience in the job and I'm possibly 10 years older than she is. My attendance record is better than hers (she calls in sick a lot) and I live closer to the work place than she does. These things give me a bit of an advantage in perspective. It is a funny thing--I'm excited about the prospect of a promotion and maybe I'm a bit foolish, but I'm not really worried about how the present night packaging super will take the demotion. Nothing is official until a final decision. I think the Bosses want to speak to my IS before deciding for sure on switching. But, #3 boss is at present very unhappy with my IS. SWEET! with today's blog entry I have posted in my blog 60 days straight without a miss--WOOT! |
I'm invited to participate  in the
I will give it some thought. I may not actually participate in the contest, as the deadline is on the third, but it won't stop me from writing a short (1,000 words or less) story along the theme of the contest. Could be a lot of fun added 8:51am I added a new image to my "Images" :"Hawk"  |
| I finished my second poem with the Dark Dreamscape Theme. This one won't be entered into the April Contest as I've already submitted my entry for this round. But it is in my Port for the community to see. Cautionary note: The theme is adult therefore I've rated this poem accordingly. There are no outright obscenities, but it does have adult content. I've added a new item to my portfolio:
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| I searched my port and found remnants of an old story and this is what I've spent my time working on today. "Malyn's Journal Erntener 18" and "Book: Road to Verloren Chapter 1: Settlers//with notes" have been changed in my "freewrites: prompts, scenes, or teasers" I am using the older entry pages to conserve space in my Portfolio and because these writings need a lot of serious rewriting and editing before the story can be published. In all, I have cleared out 10 journal entries where I plan to place older chapter versions (mostly original writings) for the basis of my Alieren's Orb Book 1: Road to Verloren Keep. These copies I am reposting in my journal which were part of my Portfolio back in 2001, 2002, and 2003. I took them out and deleted the original static items sometime in 2005 or 2006 when they had sat inactive forever. Now, I am enthusiastic about resurrecting these old tomes and breathing new life into a very old story. I will be converting my Journal: "freewrites: prompts, scenes, or teasers" into the Book eventually changing the title to reflect the content change and removing the present freewrite entries and saving those on my home computer, or rather saving those writings worth saving.added March 30, 2014 at 9:48pm I entered my new poem
Meanwhile, I am composing another poem as inspired by Prompt #2...it won't be entered into the contest as the rule only one entry per person per contest round So this one will be in my portfolio as a bonus. |
| I'm doing my taxes this weekend so I will be here to vent off stress from that process lmao. March 29, 2014 at 1:57am  AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!Oh Yea. Much better. Well MT State Tax form is all filled out--just have to file it and wait. Now for the Fed...I need coffee!  March 29, 2014 at 7:45am    Yup, at least three cups of coffee later, plus several computer reboots which equates to several tax site reboots--both State and Fed eFile attempts completed and confirmed.phwew! done all. Now I can get on with the rest of my Weekend and enjoy this wonderful writing community. March 29, 2014 at 8:14am I think the first thing I need to do is set some goals for the rest of the weekend. Tonight (my Friday, btw) is nearly over--once the coffee I've indulged in has worn off I will be going to bed to sleep the sunlight away. But until then... I haven't written anything new through to completion in quite a while...I'm tempted to try and complete several project stories written this last month, but may be best for me to concentrate that completion effort on only one. Just need to choose which one lol. Lets see right of the top of my head: there is the Prairie Dog campfire entry that needs resolved; then, there is also my campfire bedtime story just before the Prairie Dog; as well as the very first entry depicting the creation myth as told by Pater to the village children. That is three campfire stories that need to be resolved. lol Then there is the story I started, originally thinking I'd complete it by the end of the Month, for the Genre of the Month Challenge--again the Tour stalled and was put aside about half-way into the story. I'm thinking there was another story I've started and was set aside--but I cannot think of what it might be at the moment. Coffee buzz and tax expedition adventure has numbed the thinking portion of my cognitive function. (Hmmm tinny robotic timbre reverberating in the mind's ear on that laswt sentence.)  Well the best thing I can do at the moment is tour my port folders and find the projects unfinished and then decide which one best fits the mood of my writing this weekend. |
Ho Boy! Goody, Goody, Goody.  March 28, 2014 at 7:34am A quote by Les Edgerton: ...a story is a movement from stability to instability to a new stability. from HOOKED Chapter 1, page 11. |
| Another 6 hours before bedtime. I have started my crockpot for next week's lunches. And I have been temporarily locked out of the interactives--for some reason they aren't accessible atm. Talked with my son in Lewiston, ID--the 23rd--He turned 33. (It is still the 23rd here in Montana and Idaho as I write; btw). at 3:44am If you love Cats then visit this Journal. Pita really out did herself with this wonderful idea:
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| Writing has been first and foremost my tool for healing. Yesterday's blog reflected progress in my personal growth ten years after a devastating loss. This that follows is the second 'writing assignment' that reflects my healing process. I also hope to give this letter to the person it is written to. It is a door closer, in that, I am finally removing my foot so the door can now shut. A Letter Okay, let me first start with the statement which reflects a huge assumption on my part. Here it is: You will never know (thus the assumption) the effects of your declaration that you no longer loved me and your leaving me had upon me. I didn't shatter, but only because of the defense mechanisms I'd developed to prevent such to occur. I can honestly say that the grief of the death of my son is the only pain that bests the pain of your leaving. I will never fully recover from Chris' death, but I am relieved to realize that I am recovering from your divorcing me from your life. It has taken me ten plus years to forgive you for not loving me as deeply and as genuinely as I've loved you. I'm sure you may have your regrets, but I am equally sure you have never loved a partner as deeply as you were loved. It was too easy for you to sneak away. To prove to you that I am 'over it', I write you this letter. My wish for you is that you find the love of your life and that your love is truly reciprocated. I have never wished for anyone else or you to experience the pain I have endured with the loss of your 'illusion of love' in my life; just as, I would never, ever wish on anyone the pain of the loss of a child. This pain, the loss of a child, I believe you can understand. You helped raise Chris and I know you loved him. Before you left, my love was such that I wanted to share in your life. These last painful years I wanted you to understand how your leaving devastated me. Recently, I've come to realize, it is no longer important to me that you understand how deeply I was hurt by your quitting our partnership. It was this personnal realization that told me I am finally able to forgive. I no longer love you as I once did. I don't think I will ever be that blind, again. However, not loving you as I did before is not to say I don't still love you. I know whenever and wherever we meet, I can feel friendship without the hurt. You might be startled to see the person 'you fell in love with.' But, I hope you don't feel regret. I may not be a better person (I know I have always been and will always be a good person), but I have grown wiser and stronger these last ten plus years. I am sad you will never share in my growth or the rest of my life first hand. I am sad I will never share in your life experiences. I forgive your incapacity to love me. Now, I must tend to the buisness of picking up the pieces of my life and move on into my future. So, until we meet again, may all your roads lead to only good places. Deb Yep, foot removed. Checking for broken bones--nope no need for a walking cast. And thus, the door is finally closed. I heard the snick of that inner mechanism as it slipped into the cut out part of the door frame. --okay all you carpenters out there--what is that inner part of the door knob mechanism called? And--What is the cut out hole in the door frame called? added March 23, 2014 at 9:51pm SWEET! it's my turn to add to the campfire again And, of course, I don't have anything written up to just paste in. One of these days I will be on top of it; just not today. I have tonight (which for me, ends when I go to bed in about ten hours) to read and review, write up a finish to my Prairie Dog Trickster campfire addition, and possibly add to the Write Baton interactive. I may just tour some forums too. It has been years since I walked the crowded halls of the WdC Forum Community. |
| I just read my last blog entry. Oh boy, did I minimize myself or what? I guess I better start thinking of myself as something more than a "recreational writer" or a recreational writer is what I 'shall forever be'. I need to change my status in my statics info to something more than what it is too, since it basically says that "i am" a recreational writer. Then I need to start living up to being "the writer, soon to be published"! That feels good. I haven't expanded on my 'dream' of writing since loosing it nearly ten years ago. Well, not quite in this way. Stevi Nicks sings a certain Fleetwood Mac song and I've heard her sing these inspirational words (well for me recently, anyway) during these last ten years. Let me explain. A sudden epiphany hiy me just as Stevi Nicks sang the chorus in Gold Dust Woman" "Did she make you cry; make you break down; shatter your illusions of love? Now tell me, Is it over now? Do you know how to pick up the pieces and go on?" Last night at work when mindlessly packaging 45 ACP brass and Stevi sang in my ear Now tell me, is it over now? Do you know how to pick up the pieces and go on?" I realized that I didn't know how. That realization hit like a brick, too. I stopped packaging with the shock of my personal answer to her question. I actually walked away from my station. To cover my reaction to that moment of realization, I went to the restroom. In that moment, I admitted to myself that in all this time, I hadn't succeeded in really going on. My struggle the last ten plus years with my writing is directly related to the question-- "Did she make you cry; make you break down; shatter your illusions of love? I have known the relationship between the loss of my partner and my diminished will to write, from the beginning. But, I didn't know how to get through it. I didn't know how to over come the loss of both my loves. I knew, my partner was gone so I concentrated on trying to get my muse back. I persisted in making myself write. That is when I adopted the 'BIC' (Butt in Chair) concept to help me get back into writing. And 'BIC' worked in a crippled, haphazard fashion. I would start stories but lose them in the middle; or I'd start a story in the middle and not have a beginning or end; or, I'd get a story written but it would have no purpose within it; or, as in most days, I'd write drivel not related to any story or my reality, just so I was writing something. I've written a lot of words during these last ten years, 99% of which are meaningless. I do have that 1%, however. That 1% when my struggling muse persisted along side me and 'we' actually accomplished something. Now, I find a new energy I haven't felt in a very long time. Isn't it 'funny' how my "love of a life time" and I were together for ten years and how it has taken ten years for me to finally wear down my grief of her leaving me. She never felt for me what I have felt for her. I know that. I think I knew that before she ever got the courage to leave me. She 'shattered my illusions of love' and it has taken me this long to forgive her for that. It has taken my muse this long to knock it in my head that she won't be able to come back until I forgive the loss of 'the love of my life'. Finally! I think I "know how to pick up the pieces and go on?" I forsee myself writing with new purpose and partnered with my muse intact from now on. This IS the year of my turn around and renewed love affair with my creative muse. Thank you Stevi Nicks for singing in my ear over and over again until I listened. And a very special thanks to my neice who has in a very meaningful way stood by her aunt and kept the faith that I could--she said so in a question recently. She asked me: "'BIC" does it refer to "butt in Chair" or "Because I Can"? Well, Kiddo from today on BIC means "Because I Can". |
| Tuesday and an uneventful drive home |
I think I've finally figured out the REAL! night-time speed limit on East-Side Hwy. The posted speed limit is 55 and 65 mph. But tonight I avoided hitting another deer because I was going between 35 and 40 mph. So, in all reality for defensive driving purposes, the true speed limit is probably 35 mph at night; especially, when there is a full moon.  |
| Well, at this hour it is obvious to me that I am not going to get much more accomplished on-line or on WdC this weekend. It is Sunday and in a few hours I go to bed and in about 14 hours (from now) I go to work to start a 50+ hour work week. I will continue to pop in on WdC throughout the week just to record that I am active daily on my blog--journal--I like it that I have only missed 1 day in 42 for logging onto my blog. I have accomplished a review and I have received a review for this weekend. The majority of my time has been spent exploring my account and reviewing my activities, my stats, and trying out different ML codes. The majority of Saturday was spent off-line and cleaning up back up documents that contain a lot of my writing resources. Spring cleaning on the computer. lol |
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Ken
Happy St. Patrick's Day WdC