%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
Just my opinions and outlook on life |
|
The end of 2020 The very first entry I made for The Writer’s Cramp was my best. It tied for the win and I was happy about that but it really made no difference to me. It was a poem written after Thanksgiving about my own recovery from addiction. That was 26 years ago and it totally changed my life. I checked myself into Drug Rehabilitation when I first realized that I might have a problem with substance abuse. I had no idea what changes that one incident would make in my life. When I was discharged, I had a lot of major decisions to make and the poem spoke to how conflicted I still was. The prompt was Closely Watched Trains. It was easy to take that one and run with it. After all, trains take you places and where you go can change your life forever. My journey had just begun. Closely Watched Trains I stand alone in blinding rain, waiting on an unknown train. My future life, a choice to make. Only one I can take. Two tickets lay in my hand, don’t know where to stand. One path leads to a familiar past. Comfort once lost; now peace might last. The other takes me far away. Unknown future, a bright new day? Strangers can become friends. A new life, old wounds can mend. Last time I waited on a train, a filthy walkway, urine stains. Crying frightened, shameful tears, burdened with pain, unknown fears. The smut on me wouldn’t wash away. In pores so deep, I had to stay. If I hung in, worked the steps. A cluttered mess might bring rest. Been running too long and fast, towards a certain fatal crash. Smoke the gin, drink the powder, Alice of Wonderland in troubled water. I did hard work, washed my stains. Princess in a castle, I glow, no shame. I found answers for all asked of me, climbed the Magic Beanstalk tree. Now, I wait on my wish filled train. I pray a light shines true in dark rain. God, I have come a long, long way. I need to love myself enough to stay. By Kathie Stehr 11/27/2020 Learning to love myself enough to make necessary decisions was the key to future happiness. If you don’t love yourself enough then you cannot love other important people in your life. I left a marriage that I knew was over after twenty years. We had two children together and were happy for many years so it was devastating to even think about starting over. Our lives had changed so much over those years. Now, instead of working together, we were destroying our lives and it was affecting the kids. I also ended up leaving my job as a registered nurse because the stress of all of it: the marriage, the job and no time for my children was taking a terrible toll. I had been diagnosed with a neurological disease that was painful and hard to deal with for me and my family. The final straw was taking medication for the symptoms and making the potentially harmful mistake of mixing it with alcohol. Thankfully I only did this when I wasn't working but if I had continued, I would have made mistakes at work and could have hurt or killed someone. Working with the hospital, I tried different areas to go back to work but could not physically do it. I applied for and got on the hospital's disability benefit. This step began a whole new way to live an even better life. I helped with the national organization for dystonia, became a support group leader, I also was a motivational speaker that traveled the country to talk at our national symposiums with physicians and scientists. It was a different way of being a nurse/caretaker by taking caring of me first then other people who needed information and guidance. I loved meeting the people and the symptoms, that I was trying to cover up at work, showed others I was just like them. I could give them hope. I remarried, in time, to a man who loves me and helped me with my volunteer work. He has been by my side for surgeries and many painful procedures. Of course, I have reciprocated for him but it is hard to deal with a partner with physical disabilities. We have been together for over twenty-five years and have a large combined family who love each other. I will be 68 in 2021 and we are enjoying a more laid back retired life. All of us should constantly take an inventory of our lives. How are we living them? Are we serving ourselves or others? I believe we are put on this Earth to help others and we must be willing and honest to do that. I follow the principles of AA and NA and it hasn't let me down. It is progress not perfection, like a marriage. If you make a mistake, you own it and begin again. I hope any future entries I make are as true to my convictions as this one was. Fiction is fine and I enjoy it. All writing comes from the inner well of wisdom that says so much about its’ author. I try to end all my writing on an optimistic note. I want to grow in my writing, sometimes I touch my inner feelings more than others and this was one that did. It was a great prompt. 2020 has been a very hard year for more people than I can ever remember. There are so many people out there that are ill, have lost someone they love, can't feed their families and are falling into the darkness of addiction. I pray for all of them and do what I can. I wish for the judges and all the people that belong to Writing.com that they are at peace within themselves and bring more joy to this planet than they take from it. I know I have to make that choice every day, to spread love and remain sober. I wish you all a happy new year, may it be a much better year for all. Thanks for letting me be a part of this family. Kathie Stehr December 31, 2020 ** Image ID #2267445 Unavailable ** |
| “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”~ John F. Kennedy Since this is Veteran’s Day, I want to reflect on the veterans in our family that I am so proud of. But to start with, I chose President Kennedy’s quote because I remember him so well as a President. I was seven when he was elected and actually remember the Bay of Pigs and then the Cuban Missile Crisis. I remember watching the news at night and my parents talking about it. I also remember the Civil Rights movement going on and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. meeting with the President about voting rights. There was the New Frontier plan that he was working on implementing. During World War II, Kennedy commanded a series of PT boats in the Pacific theater and earned the Navy and Marine Corps Medal for his service and war heroism. I remember after his assassination, there was a traveling exhibit of pieces from his administration that came to Atlanta. Among them was his rocking chair, the coconut shell he had scratched S.O.S. on when he was stranded along with the soldier he rescued, injured himself he swam for miles in rough waters. Heroism like that really made an impression on me. Since he was President various stories have come out to hurt his reputation and I am sure some are true. He was a mortal man after all and made mistakes but he was also a commanding presence and public servant. He could have lived well off his wealthy father’s money but Kennedys were taught “to whom much is given, much is expected”. As President, he accomplished many important promises until his life was cut short. My own personal heroes are my Dad, Carl Carpenter, who served 3 years in WW2 on the front lines. He never wanted to speak about it but I know he was there when Dachau Concentration camp was liberated and his best friend died in his arms. He was hit also and earned a Purple Heart plus many other medals. He died in 1988 at age 65 of lymphoma and I spent the last 2 months with him. We talked about many personal things, he must have finally felt free enough to discuss. He was a man that lived by a code of conduct that included integrity and fairness for all people. I know he wasn’t a saint but to me, he was a wonderful person and father; a true role model. Both of our sons are veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars. Chris's Humvee was hit by an IED. He had surgery in Germany for internal injuries. Mike was stationed on the base in operations but they faced incoming fire constantly. They both came home to us. Chris had a wife and new baby waiting for him. Both of them are heroes for the very fact that they wanted to go serve and did it proudly. They both suffer with PTSD and were around burn pits where toxic substances were destroyed. They are true patriots, and not anything like the people that broke into our nation’s Capital on Jan. 6, 2021. They live by the code of honor that means love of our country, our laws and our constitution. I am a proud daughter and mother. |
| Day 3290: November 10, 2021 Prompt: Begin your blog entry with "Another day of writing..." followed by how you feel or what you are writing. Another day of writing and I am watching the testimony of the Rittenhouse trial in the background. It keeps drawing my attention because Kyle himself took the stand. Just to remind everyone this boy(17) killed two people and injured another with an AR-15 rifle during the rioting and fires that were set after the murder of George Floyd. People had been protesting during the day and it was mostly non-violent then that night people streamed into the city of Kenosha and the police were slammed, many people came to “help”private businesses. They weren’t asked by police and they came with guns. I am listening to this kid speak and wonder why, at his age, he felt the need to take a grown up role. He says that he was in volunteer training to become an EMT and firefighter. He said he had a medical kit with him and helped a lady with a sprained ankle and someone else that was hit with pepper spray by washing their eyes. Apparently he also helped put out fires. He came from out of state and was using a gun that someone else bought but he chose it . “It looked Cool” and he felt the need to protect himself. Apparently he shot when he was surrounded by several people, one had a gun, and he felt like his life was in danger. He broke down on the stand, crying, and they took a break. Now this is when he was being questioned by his own attorney. Now I am not a lawyer but I do know it in unusual to put the person who committed a crime on the stand. He acts like a typical teenager, unsure of his actions. He walked away after his victims lay in the street. He didn’t offer medical care to any of them. I am sure he was in shock also. He is accused of murder of two BLM protesters. I believe his self defense strategy will work. What troubles me is that a teenager crossed the state lines, an adult gave him an assault weapon with 30 round of ammunition to use and when caught in a dangerous situation, he did just that. People lost their lives. Exactly when did vigilante justice become such a huge part of our society? Why didn’t adults shut this whole thing down at dusk before violence became a part of the awful story? Why are kids involved in this? We are speaking about writing here and a story has a narrative just like a trial does. How well the attorneys make their case is whether the jury or judge believe the narrative. This is interesting but also enlightening and frightening. |
| PROMPT November 11th You are desperate to use the bathroom. But, you share this with several others. It's down the hall (waaaay down the hall), and it's cold despite the heat being set to the 'normal' temperature. Being an older person, your legs and ability to hold it ain't what it used to be. How do you handle this dire situation? WOW!!!You know how to trigger a senior lady whose plumbing isn’t what it used to be. This is why God invented Depends. I am a person that goes places prepared . I know where the bathrooms are and how far I have to walk, if there are steep steps because the knees aren’t what they used to be either. I have called ahead to find out about benches when visiting attractions for my Mom and now myself and husband. Being older is a challenge, for sure. - [ ] I used to love to go to concerts and I think I have been in all the various venues in Atlanta. Many have been torn down now but I believe the worst was the Omni. Back in the 1980’s and 1990’s we used to go early on the day tickets went on sale to Turtle’s and stand in a line. Then the employees would hand out lottery tickets. Sometimes they ran out, otherwise it really didn’t matter where in line you were. The price then wasn’t so astronomical and you might get a low number ticket and get great seats. A lot of groups were at the Omni and the steps were so steep. I have watched more people fall on those steps going to the bathrooms. Some were high and/or drunk and the lights would only be dim on the step strips. I have gone home with many a bruised knee. Women are prone to this problem anyway. So the last fantastic 4 hour Springsteen concert we blew a wade of money for great seats and close to the bathroom, that was 2015. I have always had a bladder problem-comes with the territory of endometriosis and a prolapsed bladder from having had babies . I know I have gotten off the question . I might try to make it in the scenario above, I can usually judge how urgent it is but there is always an extra layer between me and disaster. (FYI, There are procedures that can be done, surgical tacking up of the bladder to the pelvic bone or you can have a pessary inserted that lifts the uterus up off the bladder.) I hope I never find myself in the situation above but you never know what life will throw your way. I had a mother-in-law that used to carry a hand can opener in her purse, “just in case”. Women are really good at this from having kids, etc. Always be prepared. I keep an airway in my purse because I have had to do CPR on people a number of times. |
| PROMPT November 10th Your neighbor’s hay crop is ready to harvest. Everyone in their family is sick and their Combine is broken. How do you respond to this situation? I am late getting this up and I have a world of good excuses. I don’t have much to contribute to this. I know nothing about farming although that is what my grandparents did as sharecroppers. I do know that farmers tend to help each other out. I would help any neighbor out, whatever I could do. I could use my nursing skills to make the family more comfortable. I could cook a big pot of soup. I would be the organizer and call someone who does know something about the actual farming. Surely someone has a combine that can be used. I can remember my Dad talking about barn raising. Neighbors truly did get together in the 1920’s and built actual homes and barns. I think people still care today just as much about each other. Americans are wonderful at helping strangers out when natural disasters happen, they raise money and physically do a lot. Churches and local people are usually your first responders before the government. People are mostly kind and caring and do what they can. I would also get kids involved. They are always proud of themselves when they see what they can accomplish plus they have the energy that I lack these days. |
| PROMPT November 9th You are having a very realistic dream. In this dream, you are approaching a castle. What unusual reason do you have to be at this castle? What do you say to the two guards standing outside it to gain entrance? First of all, my dreams never make any sense. I am one of those people that don’t dream often anyway. The reason for this is probably because I go to bed with ear pods playing music or listening to an audiobook. I don’t think I achieve REM sleep where dreams come often. A castle is not part of my writing either but I will try anything. Okay, I am going to a castle on behalf of the poor people of the village that are mostly employed by the castle. I have been selected as their spokesperson to see if I can get an increase in the standard of living of these families that have very little but work very hard. I suppose I am a medieval union representative. I cross the bridge over the moat, carrying a white flag of peace. The armed guards want to know if I have an appointment with someone. I tell them I have come to discuss the Prince’s upcoming wedding and how we simple folks can contribute to the ceremony because he is such a wonderful benevolent employer. They search me and then call the Prince’s secretary. “They will send an escort for you,” I am told.. I was granted entrance into the golden suite of offices for the prince. He came out in regal colors of purple and dark red velvet. I bow before him. “What brings you here to the castle?” “I have a message form a future prophet about the people who serve you. They live in poverty and illness, your highness. It is a very important poem and song that will reach millions of people someday.” Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son? Oh, where have you been, my darling young one? I’ve stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains I’ve walked and I’ve crawled on six crooked highways I’ve stepped in the middle of seven sad forests I’ve been out in front of a dozen dead oceans I’ve been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard And it’s a hard, and it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard And it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall Oh, what did you see, my blue-eyed son? Oh, what did you see, my darling young one? I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin’ I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin’ I saw a white ladder all covered with water I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children And it’s a hard, and it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard And it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall And what did you hear, my blue-eyed son? And what did you hear, my darling young one? I heard the sound of a thunder, it roared out a warnin’ Heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world Heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a-blazin’ Heard ten thousand whisperin’ and nobody listenin’ Heard one person starve, I heard many people laughin’ Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley And it’s a hard, and it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard And it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall Oh, who did you meet, my blue-eyed son? Who did you meet, my darling young one? I met a young child beside a dead pony I met a white man who walked a black dog I met a young woman whose body was burning I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow I met one man who was wounded in love I met another man who was wounded with hatred And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall Oh, what’ll you do now, my blue-eyed son? Oh, what’ll you do now, my darling young one? I’m a-goin’ back out ’fore the rain starts a-fallin’ I’ll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest Where the people are many and their hands are all empty Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison Where the executioner’s face is always well hidden Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten Where black is the color, where none is the number And I’ll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it Then I’ll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin’ But I’ll know my song well before I start singin’ And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall By BOB DYLAN 1963 Then I woke up. Hey, this was a dream, after all. |
| Day 3289: November 9, 2021 Prompt: "Hope is the thing with feathers" Emily Dickinson. Ms Dickinson gives us one example of a metaphor for hope. Write your own metaphor or simile describing hope. Hope is a tiffany set half carat diamond that your love puts on your finger but it might just be a fugazi. This is for those people that understand hip-hop, slang or watched the movie “Donnie Brasco”. |
| PROMPT November 8th What would you have to start doing now so that in 10 years you feel like you just had the best decade of your life? In 10 years I will be 78. I have spent most of my life writing down goals and trying to achieve them. Usually, things don’t turn out like you thought they would but perhaps the way they were meant to be. I don’t have a bucket list and am perfectly happy to have a laid back life with my husband. Social Security and a small pension don’t go very far anyway. I am actually in a good place right now and want to keep it that way until, of course, something changes. I realize that is life and you can see change as a another page to write on or stop moving. It will be fun and interesting to see what my children , grandchildren, and great grandchildren accomplish. I am proud of them and they are our greatest legacy, after all. I would like to continue to write and finish downloading all of the family photos to the cloud so the kids have that info if they are interested. I have tons of stuff I have saved. I am going through that, much of my memories will find their way to the trash. So many of mine and my husband’s parents meaningful possessions were thrown in the trash after they died. I am not disillusioned about what our children will hang on to. It is all just stuff, after all. I have been giving away pieces of jewelry and family heirlooms to individual family members now. It is nice to see them excited about something that belonged to a grandparent. It is very difficult when you have divorced families to decide these things. I want to make decisions as simple as possible for my kids. So my plan is to enjoy this lovely house we have and go out on our boat to see fantastic wildlife and splendid sunsets. It is pretty here and right now we are fairly healthy but I do have progressive macular degeneration plus my worsening dystonia. I still do some volunteer work and keep up with old friends. We travel locally and that is enough. I have traveled from coast to coast and enjoyed every mile of it. I have been fortunate to have visited other countries and seen lovely scenery. So many memories of family times, raising kids, having a profession I loved, just experiencing life. It is a time of being still and reflecting, reading, listening to music and taking one day at a time. Life is beautiful when your calendar isn’t overflowing. Have a great day, everyone! |
| "Fall Back" So many important problems, That need attention now. A battle over cancel culture, Seems trivial somehow. Fall back, silly media divas, Talking heads without sense. Global warming is upon us. Our oceans, cities in distress. Children need honest education. Not parents as angry fools. Teachers need our thanks, For work in challenging schools. Fall back, pompous politicians. The world will still revolve. I have faith in real people Together problems are solved. Can we agree to pull in tandem? Put our thinking caps on. Our world could be at peace If we agreed to get along. By Kathie Stehr Nov. 7, 2021 |
| PROMPT November 7th Today's prompt is taken from a book I own. "Great Quotes From Great Leaders", published by Motorola, my employer. This one is from Norman Vincent Peale. "The trouble with most of us, is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism." Do you feel this is a valid statement? Tell us why you feel the way you do. Of course, isn’t that what the ego naturally wants? Praise builds our self esteem at the moment. It is like a dopamine high that we can feed on. Nothing makes a person feel more important than the five stars for something you put up on WDC. Of course most of us like to be “nice” people and make others feel good also. Applause drives actors, authors, politicians, almost everyone wants to be wrapped up in that public “love”. High school was easy for me and I never had to work very hard to keep a B average. Most of my teachers didn't really challenge us and I couldn't wait to start college. I graduated before my class because I had the credits. I did take a year of junior college courses but then I married. By the time I went back I had a toddler and was working. The nursing program was very hard but so interesting. The instructors were old school and there was so much to learn. I had never been criticized like I was in clinical practice, sometimes in front of patients or physicians. You learned from it because it made you a better professional. Once you graduated and had a team of people working under you and lots of very sick patients, you appreciated those great women you had called some terrible names. It’s so much easier to give your children hugs and toys they want than it is to actually teach them to how to help others through skills and working towards a goal. It is like earning stars at writing. First you have to actually learn some skills like grammar, punctuation, building a plot and characters, POV, etc. Even if you are lucky enough to be one of those people that the art of writing seems to flow easily through. Most of us write and edit and edit some more. Then if you really want to know how you are progressing you find one of our published / seasoned writers and ask them to read it. You probably won’t get five stars but lots of great advice. I have asked for reviews that were a page long with suggestions. Thank you so much for making me grow into a better writer. I have always enjoyed Norman Vincent Peale’s writings. My Mom gave me one of his books when I was very young. Interesting the words he uses in the quote about being “ruined” by praise than “saved” by criticism. Praise is like the candy that destroys your teeth eventually although most of us crave it. Criticism backed by knowledge always means growth and that is what we all should strive for. Isn’t that what makes us feel complete as productive human beings? Have a great day! |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
