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A modest journal. |
| My life's ups and downs... |
| Saturday, May 7, 2011, 1:47pm This morning I was dreaming of how to get my things from point A to point B --- frustrating. I believe I have come up with a solution and will run it by my daughter sometime today. I am a bit down this morning --- from stress, I believe. I have received a few online job offers to proposal bids I submitted but the jobs are completely different from what was at first described prior to my bid, which is a bit of a downer... It feels like a scam-type approach put out there in order to get bids. There is one job I still have hope for --- yet it seems like sales rather than an Administrative Assistant position. So I may have been duped into bidding once again. I will give it a chance until I know for sure. They want to interview me; so, I will be asking for clarity at that time. |
| Friday, May 6, 2011, 8:14pm Funny how quick things get stirred up. You are calm one minute and then someone or another close to you goes ballistic and suddenly everyone is in an uproar. No, thank you. I prefer peace. Sometimes its good to be alone. |
| Friday, May 6, 2011, 10:36am I woke up at about 9:00am this morning after being up past 2am. Now that ain't gonna happen often with me because I need me beauty rest. =0 I wish I could force someone to hire me, but that's just not how its done. Though I am suffering, I remember there are people starving in Africa. Its not fair, but its true. Do I really think I am any better, any more deserving then them? No, I don't. I wonder how they do it, keep going from day-to-day not knowing if there will be food tomorrow for their families. Where do they live? Does it not cost over there to provide shelter for yourself and your family? or is it so impoverished that all become squatters? Throughout the last ten years of my life, I have too often thought about giving it all up and living under a bridge. The striving day-after-day takes its toll. Yet, He says: Quit striving. Be still and know that I am God. ~Psalm 46:10 How does one do that in the face of adversity? Though not there, I am learning. When I think that all I ever wanted out of life was a husband and a family, yet those very things have eluded me as I find myself alone, on the verge of being destitute. I wonder for how long I can go on like this. Hope is evasive. I am reminded that in the end, these three remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love. ~1 Corinthians 13 ...and finally, I am reminded of my favorite scripture --- a testament, really: Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls--- Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. ~Habakkuk 3:17,18 |
| Thursday, May 5, 2011, 8:05pm I have been working two long days on a transcription project... Today, longer than yesterday because I not only finished the transcription but proofread for errors, etc., and then relistened to the audio to make sure I transcribed it accurately. I hope my efforts pay off, but it seems they do not want to offer much for online transcription, which is pretty unbelievable considering the hard work that goes into it. I will let you know. I started the transcription yesterday --- worked all day. Today I received the proposal, which I looked over thoroughly upon finishing the assignment. Their offer was much less than what I bid on the project. So, we will see what happens. A note was put on my apartment door this morning warning me that I am late on my rent and that if it isn't paid within the next seven days they will consider me in default and my lease terminated. If I do not vacate the premises, they will pursue eviction proceedings against me and I will be liable for court costs and attorney fees. Exciting, huh. Give me a gun and I'll shoot myself. Excuse me, I know I probably shouldn't talk like that but honestly, it is hard to handle the uncontrollable negativity that comes from having no money. God help me continue trudging my way through the muck and mire. On a lighter note, God speed. May His miracles follow you as you follow Him. Amen. |
| Wednesday, May 4, 2011, 9:53pm I know I should go to bed soon, but I am wide awake. In my heart, I want to work, work, work around the clock to bring some money in here --- pay my bills on time, take care of business. There is an urgency in my heart that I can't seem to shake. Yet, I have not got the power, in and of myself, to make it happen. I received another call tonight regarding a job I applied to via e-mail. They need a bookkeeper, but want someone with Quickbooks who can also use a Point-something or other, a Quickbooks related program. According to the lady I spoke with, it is not a user-friendly system, and they cannot find someone with the ability to use it other than the girl who is leaving at the end of this week. I guess they're desperate. I made it clear to her that I thought I could learn it quickly given the chance. The manufacturer of the software will train someone, but they have to pay for the training, which makes me wonder how much money they really have if they're not willing to pay for the training. Strange. That is the only call I got today about work. |
| Wednesday, May 4, 2011, 7:07pm Today has been a busy day. Have been transcribing audio all day. I have learned a lot, and hope it pays off in the end timewise. I picked up some food from the food pantry, but it is all stuff you have to cook. Today, all I have eaten is cookies. I can't bring myself to cook up a pot of beans. Will put them in to soak tonight and cook them tomorrow. |
| Tuesday, May 3, 2011, 4:37pm I had an in-person interview today at 3pm at a local law firm not five minutes from my apartment. I pray that is the job for me. If hired, I'll be playing catch-up with my bills for the first month or two, then I start socking money into savings. Let me get myself in a better position financially so I can begin to ready myself for retirement. I went to a food pantry today and waited for almost two hours to talk to a volunteer and then get some groceries. They were packed with people. Unbelievable. This particular food pantry is supported by many different area churches. They help you out with staples like canned goods, cornmeal, beans, rice, etc. I faxed my paperwork, lease, etc., to the lady at the Food Stamp office today too. Still no word from unemployment as to a date for my appeal hearing. Once I get my life back in order, I may check into getting some schooling to be a social worker. I could even do that when I retire. I really like the idea of helping people who are down and out, in need of a helping hand. I've met so many nice people --- a blessing really. |
| Monday, May 2, 2011, 6:04pm I've had a busy day. Went online this morning, looking for word on the online transcription job... nothing doing. E-mailed the guy twice, no response. Strange. Had an appointment at 11:30am to see about getting help with my power bill. They're helping me. So, I should be good for a few months... At least they won't shut off my power/lights, etc. Also filled out and submitted an application to see about getting help with my rent. Problem is, the process takes three to four weeks. By that time, I'll be two months behind. Not a good feeling. Tomorrow, I plan to call the finance company regarding my car payment. Don't know what else to do and I certainly don't want them to repossess my car. How will I drive to a job without a car? Filled out an application for Walmart today and filled out some other applications on online job sites about clerical work. |
| Sunday, May 1, 2011, 9:21am Awoke at 8:23am, refreshed and revitalized yet being unemployed on my mind from the get-go! Lord, help me never forget to pray for the unemployed. Had my hair cut on Wednesday. He cuts it so short that it's a little embarrassing to be seen in public for at least a week or so afterward! It becomes unmanageable when too long though... unless I get myself a curling iron. I have a hearing coming up --- undated as yet --- on my unemployment appeal. I can certainly use all the prayers I can get so that I come across clearly and for favor. I'm off to get ready for church. Have a remarkable Sunday! |
| Saturday, April 30, 2011, 12:33pm Happy Saturday! It's hard to believe so much time has transpired since I awoke this fine morning... Yet it is now afternoon! I prayed, read my bible, and have been online looking for and bidding on jobs. Yeah for computers! My kitty is gazing out the window, listening to the birdies sing; and I am about to wash my hair and get out of the house for a bit. Have a wonderful day and take a walk in the sunshine! |
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