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 |   Reflections and ruminations from a modern day Alice - Life is Wonderland |
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Reflections and ruminations from a modern day Alice - Life is Wonderland  Welcome to the place were I chronicle my own falls down dark holes and adventures chasing white rabbits! Come on In, Take a Bite, You Never Know What You May Find... "Curiouser and curiouser." Alice in Wonderland    |
| "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 2242: January 8, 2019 Prompt: “There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.” ― Erma Bombeck What do you think? This prompt makes me think of those moments that feel wholly inappropriate like getting a fit of giggles at a funeral or feeling inexplicably sad during a snowfall. The line between emotions is a thin veil at times, highly relative to where we are in our lives at any given moment. It is the reason we can rise above loss and tragedy and find the silver lining in a rain cloud. I think as human beings we have a built in fail safe to our emotions. We have the ability to adapt, which gives most of us authorship over our emotions overcoming or consuming us. "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 1849--January 8, 2019 “I am still committed to the idea that the ability to think for one’s self depends upon one’s mastery of the language.” Joan Didion, Slouching Toward Bethlehem: Essays What are your thoughts on this subject? At the risk of producing a post with political leanings...this prompt makes me think of President Trump completely as someone who very clearly does not posses mastery over language and thereby does not posses the ability to think for himself. He is someone who consistently fails to express himself with anything but a crude command of the language, speaking with a coherency more appropriate for a fifth grade classroom than from the highest office in the land. He is someone who gives the ultimate impression that his thoughts are influenced and even dictated by what he sees and hears on television or reads in the headlines. Oddly enough, it is this truth about him that bothers me more than some of his policies. I find it very difficult to listen to him speak publicly - I have higher expectations for our President. A leader should inspire people, they should be eloquent and gifted as an orator, they should rally people rather than offend and divide them. They should at least be able to think for themselves and have conviction. He has never given me the impression that he can do either of theses things. |
| 30 Day Blogging Challenge PROMPT January 8th How is your online persona different from your real world persona? How much attention do you pay to your personal privacy when communicating with others online? This is an interesting prompt to consider. I would like to think my online persona isn't all that different from my real world persona with the exception of my handle. I publish under a handle, not my real world name for a few reasons. Initially I adopted the handle when I began to gain acceptances and publications in the erotic and erotic horror genres. There was something about the gender neutrality it gave me that strongly appealed to me. At the time I first started with those genres, there wasn't that same main stream acceptance for the genre. Back then, it still felt like something I had to explain to people. Back then I still suffered from some residual shyness about the material I produced. Then, the more I had pieces accepted, the more I read and met other writers, both my confidence and my love for this particular genre blossomed. I began to understand that Erotica was the genre that most empowered me as a writer. Regardless of my personal feelings about the work itself (and I am not fan), the popularity of Fifty Shades has really opened doors on a genre for which there is a bonified, appreciative and loyal audience. It has also given a much deserved renaissance to the truly great and gifted erotica writers like DH Lawrence and Anis Nin. In fact, another reason I first adopted my handle was as a nod in appreciation for two of my favorite classical writers, DH Lawrence and CS Lewis...both of whom employed their initials in their pen names. I still get that classic reaction when people ask me what I write and I tell them Erotica...but now that reaction is followed by unapologetic interest too. This is nice. These days I write less erotica then I used too, I write less of everything that I used too - demands of life and all. I still write under my handle. I still enjoy the mystery a bit, especially when I dabble and explore genres that are still tend to be more male-dominated. As far as who I am in the real world? I'm a full-time working mom, traits that have come to describe more of me than I would like to admit. I try to be "more" most days, try to follow my passions and my interests - carve out as much "me" time as I can - which isn't nearly enough to write as much as I would like too. I still hope in the coming year to add more publishing credits to my bio. In the meantime, I try to keep active with the blogging because it keeps the muse from getting rusty and complaisant. Blogging keeps me honest, keeps me real and help me keep the craft in focus. Blogging also lets me "meet" other writers, helps me connect with a community and a fellowship that I really enjoy. |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 1848--January 7, 2019 Prompt: Psychologists claim that some people feel they don’t deserve to be happy. Why do you think this is and what may be the reason or reasons some people feel this way to undermine their own happiness? I think the basis of people suffering from those feelings have to do with self-worth. I believe they won't perceive themselves as having value and as such, they don't feel entitled to happiness. I have a brother who has struggled with substance abuse from his early teens. I think his belief that he has little value is behind at least some of his issues with addiction. He was adopted by our family after his mother failed to retain custody of him due to her own problems with alcohol and drug use. I think he has always felt cast off, more like an outsider than a real member of our family. His problems with substance abuse started with the onset of puberty and what I have always believed is improperly diagnosed mental issues that caused him to start self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. He has been on a roller coaster of recovery and relapse for decades. It has left him mostly isolated from all but a few family members. His addiction has fed his insecurity and self-doubt and his life is a painful battle for consistent sobriety. It is very sad to watch someone self-sabotage their life and happiness the way addicts do. "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 2241: January 7, 2019 Prompt: Pick a title either (1) Happy Monday or (2) Blessed Monday and write about the reason Monday is either happy or blessed. Monday isn't typically the day of the week I would normally assign the words "happy" or "blessed" too. For one thing, it follows the weekend too closely and almost always comes too quickly. Mondays are often met in our house with a frustrated screaming match with my nine year old who is simply not ready to rise and shine or bounce back into the weekly routine. However, every day I get to live this life with my family is blessed so by default, any Monday could be a "blessed" one, even if it starts with discord and struggle. |
| 30 Day blogging Challenge PROMPT January 7th You and several friends are marooned on a desert island. Everyone is looking to you to lead. What are your first actions? (List at least 2 please) will award a MB for his favorite entry today. I've spent the morning catching up on two prompts from the weekend so by the time I pull up today's, I'm feeling a little tax mentally but I want to approach this prompt methodically because that is honestly, how I would lead anyone, anywhere - most of all a deserted island. I'm going to table the fact that the success of even surviving a full day on a deserted island would depend entirely on which friends I found myself marooned with. For the sake of the prompt, and to have at least one prompt in the last two actually delivered on time, I'm going to assume my fellow maroon-ies are those friends of the more of the kind, reasonable variety. Having found oneself marooned on an island, I can imagine there would be all sort of ways to die from making strictly emotionally charged decisions. I think my first action would be to launch a throughout exploration of the island, the interior and coast. That would be the only way to know what kind of resources and dangers surround us. It would also be a good way to determine the best place to set up base camp, which would be my second goal. My third directive would be to delegate and assign responsibilities to each person, so each one of us is invested in our own survival. As we established a foothold, I would ease off on having an active leadership...shift focus more to the group and how each person has a lead or role in the group's decisions, moving things to a less autocratic situation. After all, I've read Lord of the Flies...who wants to hold the conch shell until someone challenges your authority and knocks you over a cliff? So that's my plan in a nutshell, get them settled, assign the roles and then back the heck down and hand over the conch. |
| 30Day Blogging Challenge PROMPT January 6th What was the biggest news in your life from last year? Last year we purchased a house and made the move from a much more urban location to one I would term, "more rural". Our old home was situated on a main road on the outer edge of a small city. It was efficient when we were younger but not the place we wanted to raise our daughter. I wanted her to grown up in a neighborhood, a place she could ride her bike and play in a yard bordered by trees. After a stressful summer we finally found the right house. My daughter's room is three times as large and she has ample space to run and play outside in the back yard. This past Halloween she was able to trick or treat in her own neighborhood, walking from house to house amid a gaggle of other groups of kids doing the same. It hasn;t always been easy going, we have discovered our "recently remodeled" foreclosure, also sometimes translates to "cheaply and hastily done". We have encountered several issues we hadn't anticipated and it has been frustrating at times. Still, I know it was the right time and the right place. Besides, every new house is going to present issues and obstacles....we've learned to relax a little bit and take them one at a time. Ultimately we are blessed and grateful to have found a beautiful home to make our own together. |
| 30 Day Blogging Challenge PROMPT January 5th Write about a time you learned something new. Use and highlight at least 3 words in your entry that are not part of your normal vocabulary and provide your readers with definitions for those words. My daughter has recently taken up horseback riding. It has been an education for me, horses and horsemanship has always resided squarely in my little sister's wheelhouse. Since my daughter is only nine, I have become an active participant in her new hobby and as such, I have learned a lot about something I once believed was "simple", is really about much more than just jumping on the back of a horse and grabbing the reins. It is about balance and posterior, about confidence and connecting with your horse. In order to learn, my daughter has to listen with more than just her ears, she has to be more intuitive and aware at all times. She has to be thinking about steering and about the messages she is sending her horse by the position of her legs, and movement of her hands. I have learned that the "half seat" is the posture riders adopt for jumping but also to allow their mounts to rest by temporarily relieving the weight of their riders bodies at regular intervals. Her instructor is always telling her to "put him in the corners", referring to the far reaches of the ring, getting her horse to use the full area of the arena during the lesson. I can tell from her face that she is always concentrating now, especially when they are working the patterns like Serpentines, figure eight patterns that weave between poles or cones, in preparation for the shows. I think part of the appeal of the sport is that she gets to engage her mind as well as her heart doing something she loves. |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 1845 January 4, 2019 In your own non-fiction,have you struggled with representing yourself honestly while being conscious of how others might view you? Do you have any suggestions for non-fiction writers? My one suggestion, and it is a personally difficult one for me to make, is to always "write your truth" - regardless of the reaction that might provoke in others. Understand that you will never go wrong being true to yourself and whatever you write will have credibility because it is written from that place of honest emotion - even if that means facing opposition from others. I have written several pieces over the years that, for one reason or another, have put me at odds with loved ones and family members. While their duress was an unfortunately side effect of my writing, I could justify it only by saying I never censor my non-fiction. I always write from a place in my heart, that is the only way I can assure my writing is as honest and as candid as it should always be. It has not always gone well admittedly but I take pride in that fact that I have never compromised my writing for anyone. I've never set out to intentionally disparage anyone, never written anything out of spite or malice. I have however, written with unflinching honest about my feelings and perceptions, my opinions and my thoughts - and that has been enough at times, to leave me more isolated than I would have imagined. At the end of the day, my non-fiction work represents me most accurately and it is the part of my craft I give the most credit too. I protect my integrity as a writer even though it is not the easy path sometimes. "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 2238 January 4, 2019 First loves are often depicted in literature as feverish obsessions that last forever. Let's discus one example of this type of obsession or better described as a toxic romance between Catherine and Heathcliff in Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights. Has romance writing evolved from Bronte's time? What's more marketable classical romance or modern romance? Do you think today's readers can relate to this kind of obsession or would they be turned off by it? I've never been a huge fan of romance. I think while there are some lovely virtues around the classical romances like that of Catherine and Heathcliff, that kind of romance can not help but seem dated. Society has changed so much as it relates to social norms and romantic interactions. However, clearly given the success of the Fifty Shades franchise, there is a still a market for obsession soaked romance. I personally saw Mr. Gray as borderline psychotic but that's just me. I tend like my romance with a little kink but a lot less crippling insecurity. |
| 30 Day Blogging Challenge PROMPT January 4th High schoolers graduating this year, in May 2019, are as old as the first iPod. Make a prediction for how technology will advance in the next 18 years. I might be weird but talking about advancements in technology always makes me feel a little strange and uncomfortable. I've never been huge into technology (I refrained from getting a smart phone for years!) and so thinking about how much it will advance in the next 18 years seems like a task I am not equipped well to tackle. In 18 years I will be in my early 60's and my only child will be 27 and likely well into her own life. I honestly can't imagine what life will be like then on a ground level let alone as it relates to technological advances! I hope when I hit my 60's I'm at least planning a more "unplugged" existence...maybe even running a tiny, little beach side B&B in the keys perhaps? But in case I am still working then (which is pretty bloody likely) and for the purposes of the prompt, let me see.... I imagine by then that we will have fully automated self driving cars - we are quite close to that now I think. I am almost certain we will have found a way to capitalize off space travel, enabling those uber rich private citizens to be among the first to not only travel too but stay on the moon in some ultra-exclusive version of an Airbnb courtesy of NASA. I think we could see many more kiosk-based service, for everything we could need from food to pharmacies. If you need or want to acquire anything, there will be a colorful and user-friendly kiosk for that. I would like to believe technology will also make major advances to aid in supporting our environmental - from new sources of sustainable energy to finding ways to grow produce in arid deserts and in more of those inhospitable habitats. I would hope that in the next 18 years technology has figured out ways to make our schools safer, or at least figured out how to make people stop blowing past school buses on our roads. I really hope by the time I am in my 60's, technology has enabled our CT DOT so people do not have to take the day off of work to register their cars! But, I also really hope technology then won't have rendered many of our hard working men and women obsolete, hasn't afforded people the ability to design perfectly engineered super children or crafted humanoid-like robots that eventually take over the world and force technology-challenged individuals like myself to live in community hovels near the edges of landfills  |
| "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 2237 January 3, 2018 I read a comic strip cartoon about New Year's Diet Resolutions lasting 3 days and exercise ones lasting a week. My question to you is what the shortest and the longest resolution you've made. Did you see this as a failure or just another social norm? How do you think you can overcome the hurdles of resolution failure? My answer is simple...don't make resolutions. The entire concept is doomed to failure because it feels like it comes from a purely emotional place. Instead, I make long term goals...with little pockets of mini-goals scattered along the way. This way I have a better chance of celebrating small victories rather than lamenting my big failures. "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Day 1844 January 3, 2018 Prompt: "Every man should be born on the first of January. Start with a fresh page." Henry Ward Beecher What would your fresh page to say? My fresh page would say..."fill as many days as you can with electronic ink"...in other words, write more. Writing is the one thing I always know I can go back to and as a result, I find I too often give it the back seat in my life. I need to stop doing that. I need to start taking the time to do what makes me, me. I am a writer and so I should do more of it. It has been a while since I put anything out to publish, so the sentence sentence of my fresh page would be..."put yourself out there more". I need that pressure to develop my skills and my discipline as a writer. You can grow and learn as much from every rejection as you can from every acceptance. |
| 30 Day Blogging Challenge PROMPT January 3rd Are you an introvert or an extrovert? How do you recharge your batteries? The second question is easier to answer than the first, as I am no longer sure whether or not I would classify myself as an introvert any longer. I think I was introverted, at least for a large portion of my formative years, but having a child and becoming a mother then hitting my forties, has inspired me to become more of an extrovert. When I was a child and a teenager, I didn't go out for sport teams or join clubs. I spent my free time immersed in books and then writing for myself.I was a science student and long hours working in the labs or on individual projects set me apart from many of my more outgoing peers. At college I oddly managed to connect with friends that were into plays and acting, creative types who easy captured the spotlights in every room. I was a comfortable observer and felt, many times, like the anchor that moored our crazy boat to shore. In my mid-30's, with school far behind me, I felt myself starting to change. I still had all my same quiet passions but I began to pursue publication more and found I like having something to say and that a fair amount of self-promotion was necessary to get myself and my pieces noticed. Then I found out I was pregnant and that new discovery of myself coupled with my growing daughter, flipped a switch inside me. Suddenly I was joining groups, reaching out to other moms, taking a seat on the PTO board of Officers...making myself heard in a myriad of ways. I began to contribute when before I think my tendency was to hold back and be led. I found I've taken on more than I would have once and the result is living a much more demanding life then I envisioned for myself - which brings me to the second question of the prompt - how do I recharge? I used to take long hot soaks with a glass of Cabernet and a good book. Life with child and two dogs have made that virtually impossible. The last time I intended to take a long, candle-lite soak I self-impaled my nether region with a Disney toy that was cleverly hiding amid my soap bubbles....I'm pretty sure it was that spiky chicken from Moana. It had certain felt like that spiky chicken from Moana. At any rate, I realized in that one, painful and humiliating moment, that my old way of decompressing had ceased to exist. I was forced to discover other ways to recharge. These days, sometimes I take a long lunch and wander around the book store or library. I love to do that, roam amid shelves and shelves of books without anyone needing anything from me. I can feel myself relaxing with every book cover I examine. I use music to recharge a lot. I have a wide range of tastes and I can always find something on my playlist to calm or motivate me, especially when the work day is getting crazy or my desk looks like a cyclone hit it. When I really need some "me" time, I will take some vacation time during a school day. After I drop my daughter off and school and the dogs at daycare, I'll pick up my grandmother and do breakfast then spend the rest of the day enjoying my quiet house. I might clean or watch what I want on Netflicks or just sit and enjoy a coffee and the serenity of my backyard. Once a year, we take a family vacation to the tip of Cape Cod, a place called Provincetown. This is where all my full on, deep core recharging takes place. It never fails that as we near the shore and the landscape turns to beach forests and dunes, that I start to breathe deeper - feel myself calming. After few days spent on the beautiful beaches of the National Seashore, and I'm back on my game. This is the best way I know how to recharge. There are miles upon miles of soft, warm sand and wide tide pools you can swim in. There are massive sand dunes and wild sea roses everywhere. There are even visits by curious seals and the occasional passing whale and.....absolutely no spiky chickens. |
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