One man's journey to find the way home
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. |
After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit.
I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY?
Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation....
|I am enjoying an awareness of God's presence within. I know very little about what the future holds. I trust God will be with me leading the way. In a few days I will get a shot. It is a scary thing. I am faced with opportunity that is there for me when I do. Family and friends to see, maybe even ministry opportunities that were not there before. God give me strength.
|I am sitting here wondering what I can redeem from this day. I am looking at this politically. Trump is about to get crucified. There is no other way to describe perils ahead. What is to be redeemed?
My own journey is experienced the stain that comes with being villified at some level. Whether by way of being kept back in third grade, locked up in a state hospital or divorced and losing my will to preach. I now work with intellectually disabled if only for a day. It feels burdensome at times. How much is enough. With social security I can with my wife make close to 40,000 dollars. It could be enough for a time and yet in a few days, I am scheduled once again. Sharon gets paid in four days, me in about 3 hours and after the waiting game. God give me strength.
|It was a ragged day at work. I had to open my big mouth. It never happened before. We will see what happens next. I grow weary of being put upon.
I am retiring. Make no mistake about it. One day at a time is the best I can do. I protect my health with the reality it is the best I can do. God give me strength and even more so wisdom.
|In In a blog is how I feel at the moment. I am so confused as to how my life is going as I go forward. I am working with 4 hours to go. I am amazed that I am trying. I am not feeling very chipper.
If God is for me who can be against me. It is a great commentary on what tomorrow can and will bring
|Yesterday was stressful. To have a resident refuse to take a shower. To have another resident have a major blow out and to be called out by another staff that I was wrong and they right. I survived the night. Amidst having trouble with blood pressures and so much silence in the final hours and no one to take me home.
God speaks to me, what is God saying.
|It is finally time to see the dentist. I am in a tired mood to start the day. Three days to fight thru and then things will get better for me. I am tired of being tired. Yesterday was an okay day. I enjoyed time with my wife. I got some rest. I then got to see the changing of the guard politically. It ought to be an interesting year. I tend to think Trump brought it on himself. It could not just resign himself to losing the election and forced others to fall with him with rhetoric that damned the system that elected him in the first place. It is a stinking mess. I tire of all the talk that claims we become "evil", because of some one who was elected. I cringe to demonize the person who was elected in the first place. Hopefully in the next 4 or even two years we learn of respect. We will see.