One writer's journey
She sat down at her old wooden desk, pen at the ready. Her thoughts raced. What shall I write today? Tilting her head to the side, a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth before enveloping her delicate face. The purple ink began to fill the once blank sheet, each stroke a labor of pure joy as the words flowed from her mind, her heart, her very soul.
to write of romance and endless love
to love without boundaries
to learn from past mistakes
to laugh with all my heart
to be the woman I am meant to be
I will reach for the stars
Will not give up
Will give all that I have
Dare to dream the impossible dream
For anything in this life is possible
|Well here we are at the end of 2019. What a year it's been. I don't even know where to begin honestly. But here goes nothing.
On May 8th, we finally opened the gas station. Only to shut down within an hour because the gas company had marked the pumps wrong. As well as a few other issues they had to work out. On the 9th we had our first full day. This is a totally screwy business. I'm not going to lie about that. We are one of 3 on that corner, competing with 4 others within a mile.
If it wasn't for my son and uncle working the nightshift, I would've shut this place down. I had one employee who I let go because she was just too trusting, and couldn't seem to pick it up well enough. Everything is scanned into the system. It's not rocket science. Anyway, I let her go for doing something she shouldn't have that put herself in danger. So onto employee #2. We trained her, gave her a key to open. Everyone seemed to like her. Her first shift, she never showed to open. I only found out about it when my husband showed up and couldn't get inside. I got to work, opened up and hired employee #3 on the spot. She was a regular customer and only lived 2 blocks away.
At this point, it's almost September, and I'd been working 7 days a week/12 hours a day. Way past the point of exhaustion.
I took my time with this one, trained her well, though she took the register like she'd done it a million times prior. What I didn't know [which the entire neighborhood apparently did] was that she was a drug addict. I had my suspicions, I'm not going to lie. I was desperate too. I needed someone. And she was good and talking down anything negative about herself.
She worked her first weekend and came in on a Wednesday. I was in the garage catching up on my paperwork. Friday night my son closed and I had to open on Saturday morning. My employee claimed her son had a game.
I get to work at 5:30 am, and the door I usually come in was unlocked. I brushed it off, thinking my son forgot to lock it. The cashier area was locked, so that had to be it, right? I unlocked that door, mind you, it's dark inside and I hadn't turned on any lights at this point. But I could see what looked like scratch-off shavings on the counter. Brushed that off too. I went to my desk to get my opening drawer, and recount the cash from the night before and this when I realized I had a really big problem. The night shift count was off. The opening drawer was off. I counted and recounted 5xs and wrote down the denominations of each bill and how many I had.
When I went back to the cashier area, I realized lottery tickets were missing and I was right about the shavings. I got the store ready to open and called the Lottery office the second they opened. They had me pull every scratch-off book we had from the boxes. Out of 12 different games, 10 were tampered with. My employee who seemed so desperate to improve her station in life and help me out, so grateful for finding a job, had robbed me blind right under my nose.
After I learned the extent of the stolen tickets, I called the police and began counting cigarettes to see what else she had stolen. The list was long and expensive. By the time the police arrived, I had a list of items amounting to $2000+.
Every lottery book she stole from had to be pulled and I couldn't sell them. Then the lottery informs me that the only way I can report them as stolen I had to pay for the entire book. The price for all ten lottery books was $5500. I didn't have that kind of money. I didn't have a choice and had to tell them to cash them out. I had 3 days to come up with the money.
That afternoon, employee #3 walked by the station. My husband called out to her and told her to bring the key back. She said she didn't have it on her and would bring it back. I'm still waiting for that to happen.
This set off a lot of texting back and forth. She wanted to come and get her paycheck. I told her no key, no shirts, she wasn't getting paid. My accountant says I have to pay her for the hours she worked. I mean seriously, she ripped me off and I have to pay her? How fucked up is that?
Needless to say, I wrote the check, it's sitting in my drawer. On Monday, the lottery office called again to tell me that stolen tickets had been cashed, but she couldn't tell me where. They also informed me that since it was an inside job, they don't reimburse the money I was out. The only way to recoup my losses is to take her to court. That morning, the employee's cousin bursts into the store asking me why I let her cousin go. I refused to say. But one look at the lottery box, and it's obvious that something had happened. She said she knew it, that she saw her cousin with a slew of scratch-offs. She and her mom have both offered to testify against her. Since the lottery office wouldn't give me additional information, I was able to track down stolen lottery tickets that she actually cashed in my store on her last shift. How freakin ballsy.
This all went down in early October. One week after my employee ripped me off, I called the woman I had fired and asked her if she would like to come back to work. Thankfully, she said yes. I mean, she may be slow on the register, but she never stole from me and showed up when she was supposed to.
We've had the locks changed 3xs through all of this. Every time I think things are going to get better, something else happens. Equipment failures that keep getting added on to what we owe the gas company. As of right now, I won't see a profit on the gas until November 2020. I'm racking up debt like insanity for the store.
I could go on and on about the business, but it exhausts me. On the bright side, I have regular customers whom I adore. Definitely see the best and worst in people. I won't even go into what they do to the public bathroom.
On the publishing front, that fell through. 90% of the book is edited. I have a cover and no publisher. No idea what I will do with it now. I really would like to see my hard work get published, but I would need someone to edit the last 5 chapters. Man, I was so high thinking a pub house was going to take on my book and get it out there, only to get the constant run around. I get it, getting a new company off the ground is hard work, but they totally sucked at communication, and bottom line, they were unprofessional and just didn't seem to give a shit one way or the other.
I went to court on December 11th, and of course, she pleaded not guilty. She actually thinks that because she wasn't working that day it couldn't have been her. She must think I'm stupid. She was the only person aside from family who had a key. We go back to court on January 29th for a pretrial where I get to show all of my evidence to the court. I saved everything.
It's almost 10 pm, which is my bedtime. I don't have to open the station at 6 tomorrow, but my internal clock wakes me every day at 5 am regardless.
Here's to a better, brighter, and hopefully and a prosperous 2020!!
|It's been forever, or at least it seems like it since I've blogged. I thought it would be a good time to catch up around here and let you know what's been happening to me this year. It's been insanely crazy. Busy. Tiring. And a ton of other descriptive words I could probably use.
Let's see. My oldest and his wife moved out at the end of January. That made the house pretty quiet. It took me forever to finally get into his room and change that awful red that used to be there. Now it's a pretty gray with a sky blue ceiling. The wood floor was in shambles so we decided we couldn't move my youngest son in there until the floor was done. We sanded and put the polyurethane down. It looks great honestly. New bedding, curtains and a rug. After that, I painted his old room with the leftover paint, bought a desk, moved the futon in and set up an office for myself. . I've been dreaming about having an office again for about twelve years.
Just as I thought the house was going to be situated and I could get back to writing more consistently, the basement flooded. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were just rainwater, but it's me, and of course, it had to be raw sewage. That pretty much destroyed everything down there, lifting most of the tiles off the floor as well. I never thought I'd get that nasty smell out of there, even with the gallons of bleach that I was dumping everything. Insurance will help, but they won't cover the full amount of damages, which with the contents is about 10k. That is how I spent my last week anyway.
I've had health issues that have been keeping me down. My Achilles is messed up, and after getting a few x-rays, I found out I have Haglund's Deformity, not really a big deal, but with the added bone on my heels, it's creating issues for my left foot. I've had a handful of shots in late January and early February, thought that was all taken care of, but climbing the ladder to paint brought all the pain and limping back. Last month had a couple rounds of shots again, and it seems to be settling down. As if having a foot issue isn't bad enough, I believe I'm developing carpal tunnel. Lucky me, right? . That comes and goes, and right now I'm wearing a brace just to keep the pain to a minimum. My blood pressure is regulated, I'm finally sleeping better after the hysterectomy, which was a long time coming.
We bought that gas station last year, and it looks like we will be opening sometime in September. This took forever. And paying for two buildings with only one operational has taken a toll. Thankfully, the garage is slammed right now. Everyone needs their car, and with our good reputation and fantastic rating on Google, we are maintaining things.
I submitted my novel to a legit publishing house 6+ weeks ago. I was excited and shocked when they asked for the first three chapters, and then the entire novel within 24 hours. There are 10 days left until the 8-week timeframe is over. I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear back from them. I should be excited, believing that it will be picked up because usually I've been rejected in less time. Is not hearing anything yet a good sign? Bad sign? Hell I don't even know. I keep trying not to think about it, but the 19th keep glaring at me from the calendar.
Anyway, I need to fix something in Megan's story that I completely forgot to put in. So a huge Thank You to ~QPdoll for reading my book, and giving it to me straight about what would have made the book better. The scene is almost complete and since the rest of my afternoon seems to be free, I intend to do my best to finish it.
Lots of to you all. I've missed this place, and all of you wonderful people as well.
|PROMPT: Tell us about something/someone that fucked you off this week.
It's been awhile, I know. After GoT, I just had no energy to be here on my pc, and my personal life is busy as hell. I'm either napping these days, working, or being absorbed with the news and...
God help me.....TWITTER!
That's right folks, I've become a twitter whore. . I hardly check facebook, just come onto WdC to check emails and see if I forgot to do something. This is your obscene warning right now. I'm am pretty disgusted, angry, outraged and if I don't vent and get all of this shit off my chest, I'm seriously going to explode, so I thought it best I do it here. I'm sure that shall make Elle and Charrr 🌈 [6 years!!] thrilled since our little blogging group is kinda quiet. .
Quick personal update:
Let's see. We are pretty close to being broke. Yep, I said it outloud and I'm not ashamed to say it. We bought that damn garage/gas station on September 28th, and we are still not in that place. Paying for two buildings is sucking away every dime we've saved. If my tax return doesn't hit my account soon, I don't even know which credit cards I'll have to max out to pay my bills. This is some serious shit and I'm not feeling good about any of it. It a nutshell, the stupid ass dumpster pad and enclosure went on top of a sewer line. Which the city totally missed. Thank you engineering dept. And they say we didn't call for an foundation inspection, which if we had they would've caught it in the first place. So we had to sign a waiver stating if the sewer failed it was at our expense of losing the dumpster pad/enclosure. Fine. Then I had to wait for legal documents, sign them, have them notarized, and go to downtown Detroit to file them. Trip number one was postposted -after waiting 2 weeks for those fucking documents to arrive- due to a foot of snow. My dad drove me down there a few days later, roads were still shit, but I made it, only to find out that while our signatures were notarized, the guy from the city's was not. Fucker. So I call him, he doesn't answer. Typical. I shoot him an email instead, which he answered. Here I'm thinking all he has to do is type up that first page again where his signature was, but nope. He prints up the entire document, which means we had to get our signatures notarized again. I should've known I swear. He did do me a solid and bring me the paperwork instead of making me wait for them arrive in the mail. His guilty screw up I suppose. Anyway, I finally filed that shit Tuesday.
My Zak and Mona have moved out. Moving was an adventure. I keep calling his empty room Zak's room. I need to paint that room and get rid of the god-awful bright red that kid insisted upon so I can move Danny in there. And once I finally get the time to do that, there will be an empty bedroom I am going move my desk into. I'm really excited about that, I admit it. Besides, I hate the futon in the living room, and that sucker will go into that room in case anyone needs to sleep over. It's a perfect solution. The house is too quiet, it's weird texting my kid with silly shit just because I miss him, though he drove me crazy. I miss the crazy! What does make me? And Mona was fun to have around. I was so outnumbered with all the men in this house. She was a breath of fresh air. Though Danny and I are having a lot of laughs and learning how to make one another a tad more insane. He thinks I'm going to kill his father one day because of the way we snap at one another. . I told him, that's what you get when you've been married for 26 years. We know exactly which buttons to push. If you're going to fucking come at me, be ready to take it back in spades.
I opened my twitter account to try and generate some sales for my book. I even gave 10 copies away. 5 on Twitter and 5 on Facebook. I expected at least 10 reviews from the people who won them but got ZERO. Fucking lazy people. My books are probably being used as a porn replacement for masturbation. Seriously, the love scenes can get a tad steamy. Anyway, I started following a few people there.
I started looking at tweets from that disgrace that calls himself my President. And I admit I started responding to his idiotic tweets and calling him a Moron, among other choice things. My family is kinda pissed at me about that, worrying that the FBI is gonna come knocking and lock me up. I have lost my fucking mind over this guy running my country into the ground. I'm fucking angry as hell at EVERYTHING this administration is doing.
Honestly, I never gave two shits about politics, just wanted to live my life, make a decent living and keep that insanity on the sidelines. People are never going to totally agree, and as I grew up, you could see the constant bullshit going on in Washington D.C. I didn't need that kind of negativity in my life. But here I am now, soaking in as much info as I can, and seriously trying to decide if I should start running for office. Probably a longshot, but I can't possibly do more fucking damage than these assholes running the show right now.
When the Parkland school massacre happened, it hit me hard. My kids are grown and graduated from college already, but I'm a parent still, and to see what these children and parents are going through rips my heart to fucking shreds.
I've never liked guns. I think the NRA is nothing but a homegrown terrorist organization with their bullshit propaganda and nasty rhetoric. And the worst of all of this is Trump and his 'arming 20% of teachers'. I swear to God that asshole makes me physically ill. Yes, the answer to gun violence is having more guns. Is he fucking serious? I watched his bullshit listening session, which was a complete joke. He didn't listen, nor does he care. Hey, if you need fucking cue cards to remind you to show empathy, then you sure as hell shouldn't be ruler of the free world. Fucking Moron.
All of these politicians who are in the pocket of the NRA terrorist group need to be voted out. There is absolutely no fucking reason for AR-15's, or any other weapon that can cause that amount of damage in such a short amount of time. 17 lives in 6 minutes. That is a weapon of war. Are we really at war with one another? Is that what America has come to?
If you watched the CNN town hall, you saw that bitch, Dana Loesch, trying to justify her pro-gun agenda. She was heartless as she sat there pretending to give a damn, only to hit CPAC 12 hours later and put it all on crazy people owning guns, yet not wanting to take guns away from people who seriously shouldn't own a weapon. They use the 2nd amendment like a gag. Shoving it down our throats, like guns are a vital part of our society. I feel sorry for her children because that lunatic sure as hell shouldn't be raising kids, especially since she likes shooting squirrels for sport because they annoy her. I jumped all over that retweet of her saying teenagers piss her off. Good. Finally, there is a voice coming loud and clear.
Baby Boomers let children down by letting the NRA take hold of our elected officals.
Generation X - my generation - hasn't done shit either, we let it continue to grow and take hold.
Millenials ~ I mean no offense here, but the ones I know are totally self-absorbed and cannot be bothered to get involved.
And now Gen Z is rising up. I am following a lot of these kids, retweeting their voices, watching as people are finally speaking up and joining this cause.
Ugh this is a damn novel chapter.
What I'm doing:
~I will be joining a local march calling for Change and gun reform. #NeverAgain
~I am part of the #MeToo movement. That's another story, but yes, I was sexually harassed as a teen at my job.
~I can no longer sit back and hope and pray that our elected officals will do something. If you want real change, then you must stand up and do something about it.
~I am sickened by the number of people being deported, detained, just for not having their visas, etc. Our government is totally lying to us, swearing it's only criminals being kicked out, but they are lying. Every state is being affected, it's happening every single day. There may be something I can do here, especially since I married an immigrant. And all this chain migration bullshit coming from that asshole. Hey, Mr. President, what about your in-laws? Are they the exception to the rule? Of course, they are, as you seem to break every rule that doesn't vibe with you. Hypocrite egomaniac piece of shit.
~We need gun reform NOW. I cannot in good conscience sit here hoping and praying that these assholes in charge will finally realize that children are dying every single day while we do nothing, but fight for a fetus' and then do nothing once these children are here. What in the FUCK are you thinking? Besides, it's a women's right to decide what happens to her own body, and if she's ready to bring a life into this world. God knows that if you have a man that's willing to stick it out and be there you're lucky. I'm a product of divorce. I was 2. My grandfather had to step in, I was one of the lucky ones as my mother didn't remarry until I was already married with a newborn.
~It's time to Stand Up. Our children needs this from us. Our country is drowning in all this bullshit and the line between right and wrong has now become the line between money and ego. Fuck that shit. I'd rather be on the losing side of a good fight than sitting here watching from the sidelines.
My battery is dying so I'm off for now. There is so much I wanted to say. But you can find me on twitter @desiresdaughter. Yea, I really need to change that.
Brought to you by "JAFBG" by Elle
Since the lovely Charrr 🌈 [6 years!!] was so kind and sent out the email for our all too quiet group, I found I just couldn't help myself and back to blogging it is! Charlie!
Prompt: What is the most obvious sign that someone is smart? On the flip side, what is the most obvious sign that someone is stupid?
Ah the stupido is just something that's too damn easy. Anything and everything that this guy says is usally pretty damn ignorant!
You know what uranium is right? It's this thing called nuclear weapons and other things. Not sure what my response should be to this. Though I am curious about the 'other things' he's referring to.
My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault Ummm.
Effective today, my administration officially declared the #OpioidCrisis a NATIONAL PUBLIC HEALTH EMERGENCY under federal law. Thank you for coming so late to the party.
So nice being with Republican Senators today. Multiple standing ovations!
The meeting with Republican Senators yesterday, outside of Flake and Corker, was a love fest with standing ovations and great ideas for USA! He talks about these meetings like that's how the government is supposed to run, with everyone kissing each other's asses. Really? Maybe if he pulled his head out of his own ass long enough he'd realize that he is truly in WAY over his head.
I had a very respectful conversation with the widow of Sgt. La David Johnson, and spoke his name from beginning, without hesitation! --he forgot to mention the cue cards he read from during the conversation.
Two dozen NFL players continue to kneel during the National Anthem, showing total disrespect to our Flag & Country. No leadership in NFL! Honestly, it's no leadership in the USA. Because a fucking MORON is too busy making everyone kiss his ass that his massively inflated ego keeps him so far above what the hell is truly going on that he cannot comprehend ANYTHING. Want my fucking opinion? How about some facts instead his Fake News? Kneeling shows more damn respect than holding your hand over your heart or standing. And just so we are clear here. Kneeling is a protest of racial injustice in these cases, and has not one fucking thing to do with the flag and country.
We cannot keep FEMA, the Military & the First Responders, who have been amazing (under the most difficult circumstances) in P.R. forever! Hello? Anybody home? Does this guy even know that P.R. is part of the USA? Yes, Mr. Moron, you will do just that, just like you are doing for Texas and Florida after they were hit by hurricanes. It is totally unacceptable that over 50% of P.R. still is without power and basic necessities.
You know Peurto Rico is an Island. Surrounded by water. --Does he think we are so far beneath his level of IQ that the word ISLAND needs clarification? Or is he really that dumb? I vote that he's really THAT dumb!
I don't claim to be smart or dumb. But a smart ass am I!
As for being Smart. Well, my nephew, Ben, is smarter than that guy. How do I know? Because he always says things that blow me away. He's 6 btw.
Knowledge is power. I think anyone with knowledge, true knowledge, not the hot air that guy up there spouts is smart.
My kid is smart but lacks common sense, and that drives me crazy. But lacking common sense sometimes doesn't negate the fact that he graduated from LTU and is going for his masters in Architecture.
I'd prayed that my kids were smarter than me. I was blessed with that. It's my hope that their kids will be smarter than them and one day, all of these people with brains will fix what is truly wrong with this world we are living in.
This has been another rant brought to you by me, and "JAFBG" by Elle
|It's a "Game of Thrones" by Gaby ~ Mostly MIA kinda thing for the smokin WoT!
Now I read my task and read it well. At least 5 times, and nothing in my task says that I actually have to give reasons as to why I'm recommending these books, it says list ten books that I do. Loop Hole! Lovely, little loop hole! Must be clear if you expect me to work hard for these points.
Top 10 Books I ~Theresa ~ the Purpleprincess ~ Head of House Greyjoy ~ Wife ~ Mother ~ ~ Published author of 2 novels ~ Pain in most people's arses ~ Slayer of the Wheel of Torture ~ Rooter of the Under dogs ~ tired of GoT [game not show] ~ Still smiling over Jon Snow's Aegon Targaryen's beautiful behind Recommend:
1 ~ The Princess Bride
2 ~ Any and all books by Maggie Shayne
3 ~ Sacred Vow - CG Walters
4 ~ The Most Beautiful, My Life with Prince - Mayte Garcia
5 ~ The Dreamer's Journal - Barbara Moore
6 ~ Ruby Series - VC Andrews
7 ~ McKettrick Series - Linda Lael Miller
8 ~ Springwater Wedding - Linda Lael Miller
9 ~ Time Without End - Linda Lael Miller
10 ~ The Bald-Headed Hermit & the Artichoke: An Erotic Thesaurus - A.D.Peterkin
~~That's all folks. Happy reading
Oh Hell Yes!!! I sooo wanted this Reek Torture!
"Game of Thrones" by Gaby ~ Mostly MIA
Prompt: Show the world how much of a GoT fan you really are by writing a newsfeed post, blog entry, etc. telling the world (honestly) how many episodes of the show you've watched and the number of books in the series you've read. ~ 5000 points
Ah yes, my vice, my delight, my immense joy of having caved in and started watching this series. I admit I haven't read any of the books, but my Uncle has and is always telling me differences between the show and the books. Between my own writing and reviewing here on WdC, it doesn't leave a lot of extra time to read one of these novels, though I hope to one day.
R has watched this show from its inception. So many nights I'd go into the bedroom to sleep and he was watching. I'd always complained because I kid you not, every time I walked in someone was naked. I thought geez dude, is there nothing better than watching rape and constant sex, or people parading around in the nude? I complained a lot over the course of four years. And then one night, I couldn't sleep and decided to watch with him. I had a million questions. I needed answers and so my binge began. I watched the entire 4 seasons in like 5 days. OMG my brain was FRIED. I couldn't process all of that, but I was ready for the big season 5 premiere and oh how happy I was.
I cannot say how many episodes I've watched because I've gone back over and over again and started from the beginning. Any time they were playing I'd rewatch. I'm helpless when it comes to this show.
If you haven't watched, then I am telling you to run away now. If you're not up to date with season 7 . This is the point of no return.
I love the dragons. I love Jon Snow. I mean who wouldn't? He's so easy on the eyes and oh that voice, just makes me melt. His romance with Ygritte was hot. My favorite line...that thing you do with your tongue How bold and hot was that? Even the characters that I loathe and hate, like Joffery and little finger, and Cersei bring about a lot of emotion when watching this show. You want to see their downfall, you are plotting right along with the characters hoping for their demise.
I love everything about the show, and now I'm anxiously awaiting the finale of Season 7, wondering about the dragon. If a fire breathing dragon suddenly has piercing cold blue eyes, what do they breathe? Fire? All I know is that possibly I will find out on Sunday. I knew once the White Walker shot him down that's what was going to happen. The battle is brewing. Jon is about to meet Cersei, though I hope she declines and has her ass handed to her. What can I say? I'm all for it. She's just pure evil and deserves nothing good.
The math. Hmm. 66 episodes, times at least five would be 300. And I know I've watched the last episode 4 times already.
If you haven't seen this, it's a must. Enjoy
Go House Greyjoy!!!
|By the way, this is my favorite prompt!
Prompt: Tell us about something/someone that fucked you off this week.
After two days of failed attempts to get into the site that links to my doctor's office, I finally managed to recover my password and gain access. Great! I have an appointment tomorrow. Fine, I need my blood pressure meds renewed. No problem. So I decided to scroll down and see what all was listed. And what do I find? A fucking reason listed for my vision problems. Yep, it was right fucking there. And do you think that asshole actually told me that I have a severe Vitamin A deficiency? Hell no! Bastard! How the fuck does this tidbit of information make it to my medical records 4/13/2016 and no one bothered to let me know? Is it my job to look it up myself? Apparently so.
I read the words, Vitamin A deficiency with keratomalacia. Of course I had no fucking clue what that meant and had to google it. To my horror, I have found out that this severe deficiency will cause me to go blind.
Apparently, this is no big deal to my piece of shit doctor. Well, it is to me! I cannot even find anything that says what I can do to make it better, a treatment, how much Vitamin A I should be taking, or just how low it is. Is it related to having a total hysterectomy? I fucking want to know damn it.
If I thought for one second that I could be doing something about losing my vision, I would have been doing it last fucking year. Asshole! What a fucking asshole! I HATE my doctor. Every time I go in there, which is every 3 months, he pisses me off. Now, I'm irate. I hate starting my week off ready to strangle someone. It's never a good sign of what's to come. Hopefully, I will calm down enough by tomorrow morning to not go into his office with an attitude, but I highly doubt it.
Blind? I'm sure this will hit the preexising conditions portion and fuck me over when it comes to health insurance. We'll just add that to the ever growing list as I get older.
As much as having that hysterectomy has improved my life physically, every time I turn around there is some new health issue I'm facing, and not one of them has been good.
This damn doctor, as my grandfather would say, is as useless as tits on a man!
Prompt: Write an open letter to society.
When did you change? When did it become the norm to forget about others and consistently put yourself first? Is it a lack of morals? What fucking is it?
I've noticed the change over my lifetime, and it totally sucks. It's so difficult as a parent to try and teach our kids that they shouldn't put themselves above others, yet they see it happening all of the time. My best answer has always been, I'm not their mother, I'm yours.
All of this hatred, bigotry, fear, and misinformation has led to an outpouring of the me society we now live in. I relished in being different growing up, I made sure everyone called me unique. I didn't want to be like fucking sheep and follow just because everyone else was doing it. I felt the guilt from what my words did to others and made conscious changes to my behavior. Now, it seems, as if hurting someone else has not caused guilt, but a sense of power that inflates the ego.
Do you really feel powerful when you hurt someone else with your words? Do you really believe it makes you a better person? Give me a fucking break. I'm positive your religion doesn't teach this. That school didn't teach you this kind of insanity. So when did you just decide that the world revolves around you, your wants, your needs, and screw the rest of the human race?
Inquiring minds wanna know!
Kindness, tolerance, being open-minded are things we need to get back to as a society. Until we do, well, I fear how far this all about me shit is going to take us. Empathy is never a bad thing.
|Another entry for:
Prompt: What is the worst parenting technique that sucks but is commonly advised anyway?
Yeah, that one. So my son Zak was probably 6 months old. We were living with my parents at the time because we were going back and forth between Lebanon and US so R could play soccer. I remember R was overseas, and since Zak refused to have a set bedtime, we went for the let him cry it out method.
BIG MISTAKE! And I mean big. First off, it's heartbreaking to sit in another room and listen to your child crying so hard that their breathing is affected. You know those heart-wrenching sobs that are so severe you have to fucking stop to suck in a massive breath before the wailing resumes?
I was a new mother, still didn't know what the hell I was doing. I mean, I'd never been around babies before. Talk about clueless. I remember sitting in the living room attempting to watch television. All of us were talking about how long that kid could cry. Well, let me tell you...hours! Until none of us could take it any longer. It was the first and last time I ever tried this horrible, piece of shit technique.
The not sleeping with parents thing went out the window as well. It's hard enough to be a new mom, sleep deprived, and have to get up multiple times during the night. After the third time if you expect to get any sleep at all, put that child in your bed and you can have a few hours of peace.
I don't know who comes up with this shit, all I know is it didn't work for me.
Just like putting them in sports when they didn't want to participate in the first place. Man, was my son miserable and watching him being that miserable only made me miserable. He only ever played one season of soccer. What sucks is that he was really good at it. I swear it's in the genes, but he hated it.
I remember being young, my sister, cousin and I got into trouble for having a pillow fight and breaking the light in our room. My grandmother made us sit in the living room, two on opposite sides of the couch, one of us on a chair, and we were forbidden from talking to each other. Like that ever worked. Did I learn from it? Hell no.
And of course, we learn what we are taught. Here I was, mad at my kids for fighting with each other. I sent them both to their rooms and forbid them to talk. Simple, right? No fucking way. Not two minutes later I hear them whispering to one another in the hallway. . Little brats! Think I only ever did that once as well.
My advice, go with the flow. Each child is different. What works for one, probably won't work for the other. And if someone gives you shit advice, it sounds like shit, you know it's probably shit, then don't fucking do it!
|Prompt: What small, inconsequential things piss you off more than they really should?
T I M E
Ah time. I get so irritated and annoyed by time that I can actually picture myself strangling the fucking life outta some people. I know. I know. Not a good thing. Too fucking bad.
Being late to important events:
I see this as a thing of respect. How damn difficult is it really to show up when you're supposed to? Or at the very least, have the decency to call if you're going to be fucking late. Nothing says I could fucking care less about you and your function than showing up late. Assholes!
Case in point. We had a reception for my son and daughter-in-law to celebrate their marriage. Booked the hall, sent invitations, had to change location and time and recontact everyone, which I did. When I say 6 o'clock and dinner at 7, I mean at 7 I expect you to be at your table so dinner can be served. Not walking through the fucking door at 7 or 7:30, eating and leaving immediately after. That's fucking some rude ass shit. Oh boo hoo your family didn't get to sit together. Maybe you should've thought of that when you showed up a half hour late. And leaving right afterward. Well, that shows you have no damn class and quite the stick up your ass. No worries, when your kids get married I will pay you back for your kindess.
Being late to regular dinners
We have a usual standing Saturday out dinner with friends. I don't mind these night outs. I don't like to cook, so this is a relief for me. After months of being early/on time, R got sick of it and wanted them to see what it feels like to be kept waiting. We were supposed to be there at 7 for dinner. We left the house at 7. Granted it was only a 10 minute drive. We were still the second couple to arrive. What happens? Mr. High School decided he was sick of everyone always being late and got up and left when we arrived, leaving his wife behind. What the fuck! Hey I get it, it's rude to make everyone wait to order dinner because you don't value our time. But leaving because we were late once is fucked up. Rude. Childish. And just fucking stupid. Take that shit out on those who don't give one shit that they make everyone wait.
Being late in general
It's hard to get everyone out the door on time. But I swear to Creator I am the one ready to go and waiting on the men in this house. They are worse than women when it comes to grooming before heading out the door. It's so fucking annoying to me.
If I put in the effort, and value your time and mine, I damn well expect the same in return. I can be a complete asshole and not give a flying fuck about you and your time, but I choose not be that way. Why is this such a difficult thing for people to do?
I don't know when this all happened. Gradually over my lifetime, I suppose, but I can tell you that growing up when we had to be somewhere, we put effort into being on time and leaving early to get there. It's all about showing some fucking respect people. So man up, stop being a dick head and show me that.
Now I know, shit happens, and I allow for that. I probably shouldn't be so pissed off about time, but it's one of my pet peeves. Hell my sister won't even be on time for furneral I bet. That's her thing. It's why I lie to her about what time family gatherings are because I accomodate for her constant tardiness.
Time. Time. Time. Will it ever change? I think not. Until then, I'll just try to keep myself from letting my inner bitch out when people make me wait, make me late, and suck it up. All I can do really. I think perhaps I should join the it's all about me party and then time won't mean a damn thing to me.