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 |  Blog attempt 1. |
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The first few entries come from a private journal I have kept for a few years now. also home for my entries for 
and
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| Hey Mom, Do you think I am a bad person? I never told you I was gay. You were dying and I should have told you. Then you could have told me if you still loved me or not. I love Amber. If I hadn't met her when I did I might have taken Tinker and Ashely to the humane society and joined you. It was a really hard time for me. It took moving across the state to finally find someone I actually loved like this. But she was a girl and you aren't supposed to like other girls. But I love her! I hate that the only reason that I moved anywhere near her is that you were dying. And I hate that I never had the courage to talk to you about how I felt about her. Dad will probably hate me if I ever manage to talk to him about it. First I am going to hell because I love another girl. Second I am going to hell for lying to him about her for twelve years. At this point, I don't know which would he would be maddest about. It is getting to the point that I am more scared about how he would react to the lies I have told him more than he would about being gay. I want to tell him. I don't want him to go to heaven without knowing how he feels about it, but I am so afraid I already know. Would he forgive me for the lies knowing how scared I am that he would hate us? Why does he have to be the way he is? I love him the way he is but I don't know if he really loves me back. WIth you gone all I have is Daddy. I can't make him hate me. He is just barely accepting me as a writer rather than what he considers a productive member of society. I think he still doesn't think writing is real work. Oh, Mom, I am so sorry, I meant this letter to be to you, not about daddy. I just wish you were here to tell me what to do or at least to hug me if I am right about him. I feel alone without you. I know Amber's family accepts me but it isn't the same as you guys. I don't want to hurt their feelings but you guys were my family and without you, I don't feel like I have one to offer to my relationship. I feel like they pity me. I can't write anymore right now mom. I love you and I miss you. |
| Mom, I miss you. I'd ask how you have been, but... I hope the weather is nice in heaven. How are Tinkertoy and Ashely and Melissa Puppy? How is Charlie? Are you two causing trouble up there. Don't get kicked out... I miss you. Another holiday is coming. It hurts you won't be here. Why did you have to go? Did I do something wrong? Didn't you want to be here with me? I know you were sick and hated being in that hospital bed, but at least there I could hug you when I needed to. I miss you. Ever so much I miss you. You were my family. You loved me no matter what. Why did you have to go! It was stupid. You weren't cursed to die. You smoked, you drank, you made yourself sick. DIdn't you want to be here for me? I miss you... |
| I'm tired, nauseous, my back hurts and I don't feel like writing anything. Yet here I am keeping my blogging streak going. So far I have written an entry every day this month except for one. I almost have reached my longest blogging streak. Okay that's it. I don't have anything else that excites me, or bothers me enough to write about right now. |
| I found out that my Gracie Cuddlebug Supreme merit badge was ready. I offered it up on the newsfeed. They snapped it up. There is only one merit badge left to claim in the initial offering. I ended up with 1,600,000 gift points and have commissioned a merit badge of King my kitty. It is going to be adorable. I am saving the rest of the gift points for my membership renewal. I am also thinking of offering my collection of badges for fundraiser packages. I might also consider starting a contest. I also earn gift points with reviews. that reminds me I am holding at 70 reviews for the month. I can do thirty reviews in a day if I have to... |
| Gracie made it through her spay and was actually wagging her tail at me when I went to pick her up. Then we got into the car and she started whining and shaking. So, the spay wasn't an instantaneous cure for her anxiety. I just hope she doesn't slip into depression as her hormones get out of her system. She is such a sweet baby. She was so worked up in the car ride home through a terrible thunderstorm, the minute she got into the house she crashed out on the couch and that is where she is sleeping now. I have to put the cone of shame on her so she doesn't lick her sutures in the night but I don't have the heart to wake her. She had a very full day. I should be getting to bed soon. But I am trying to get the house cooled off first. It was over 90 degrees today. It's supposed to drop to 30ish tonight. We had a severe weather alert day. It started hailing just when Gracie and I got home. She just loved that. I was carrying her and I shielded her with my body. It was only pea-sized hail but still, she had a rough day. |
| This is the seventh day in a row that I have blogged. That's how runs start, one day at a time. I have written every day for months, poems, flash fiction, blog entries, and my book I have a good record so far this year on my writing. I need to write my prompt poetry challenge entry for this week. I painted half of my giant easter egg. all that really is left is the last row of sunflowers and some touch-up. Not quite caught up on laundry. My dog is getting spayed tomorrow. We're hoping it helps her with her anxiety and post-heat depressive episodes. I just hope that it doesn't push her over into depression. She doesn't like car rides and her vet is thirty miles away. I have to leave her there in the morning and don't get to pick her up until after six. The last time I had to leaver her somewhere she came home with extreme anxiety and I had to put her on daily medication. She is better at swallowing pills than I am. I really hope this helps... |
| I had a long beautiful entry written earlier today but somehow it didn't get saved. I am working on Emancipation pretty hard but I am bored with chapter thirteen and have skipped ahead to work on some later scenes. I have 69 reviews done already for the month and I think I will pass my goal of one hundred in a couple of days. Theoretically that means I could do almost 300 reviews this month if I really worked at it. If I were to random review them all I could probably have close to 500k GPS saved by the end of the month which would be cool. If I could keep that up I could pay to renew my membership with GPS almost exclusively from reviews. I have a lot of raffle tickets that have been bought for me, if I won that would be more GPS that could add to it. I worry about this because I probably won't have the cash to renew my premium membership in February. |
| I finished chapter 12! over halfway through with this book now and I have done over fifty reviews so far this month. Today I penciled out the design on the ostrich-egg-sized fake easter egg I intend to paint. Now if only I can get caught up on the laundry my weekend will be complete! I am still debating sticking the bit about Eugene into this book. If I am going to do it I'll need to figure it out soon, the book is almost done and I don't know what effect on the plot including him would have. The quills are coming up soon the genre voting has begun. I don't know but I might read and review some of the entries in the larger categories and vote. Would it be wrong to vote for myself? |
| I had a lot of ideas last night on my way to sleep. I knew I should get up and write them down, but I was soo tired. Let me see if I can reconstruct any of them... He stood pressing his hand against the wall with all his might. It was to keep it from moving, talking, or otherwise absconding with reality. Whatever that woman had slipped him it was strong. That was just a sentence that occurred to me as I was drifting off to sleep. Next, I thought about making one of my characters from my early books actually be from the second omniverse. That was back before I knew there was even going to be a second omniverse but I had made a big deal that he didn't have any parallel universe alternates. I also decided on his full real name which is something that was stolen from him. Dr. Eugene McGreggor. I was so excited about this idea that I almost did get up and attempt to sneak him into the outline of my current book. It would be a big deal and I don't want to spoil the reveal though. |
| Hello everyone. I only got a couple of reviews done yesterday and today, but there is plenty of time to complete the challenge. Speaking of challenges I have almost completed
I considered doing the 50-50 challenge for
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