Rated: ASR · Book · Biographical · #2260833
Blog attempt 1.
The first few entries come from a private journal I have kept for a few years now.|
also home for my entries for
|Okay, so yesterday I whined about the imminent end of the world. Today I intend to be optimistic about things.
Here it goes...
How the flying figs do I do that?
People survived the end of the Roman empire so we could too. Yeah, that works. But does it. What kind of life did people have post empire. Hygiene went downhill. Water supplies were cut off as the aqueduct systems fell from lack of maintenance.
No, that is not working. How do I depessimize myself?
I am way open to suggestions!
|Okay so I have been slacking on this attempt at blogging. Over a month without an entry. I should be ashamed. I would say that I am only disappointing myself but I have a freakish hope that there are others of you paying at least a little attention to this. I apologize to you.
Here is the thought that brought me to sit down this afternoon:
I saw a video on Facebook where a woman added the different parts of the dates of the starts of the first two world wars together and they both added up to sixty-eight. Then she added up the date of Russia's invasion of Ukraine, it added up to sixty-eight as well. I have always thought that Russia would be the cause of world war three.
I seem to remember in the bible there is mention of a conflagration that sounds like world war three associated with Wormwood. It came to my attention that a translation into Russian of wormwood is Chernobyl. Well it was more of a reminder. Then it came to my attention that Chernobyl is located in Ukraine. I have heard wormwood associated with an asteroid but now that seems like a bit of a stretch.
What worries me is those are two associations that tie the invasion to world war three for me. If it didn't already seem likely we would end up involved militarily in the conflict I would be alarmed by this. But I was already alarmed.
I have nightmares about being caught in nuclear blasts like Sarah Connor in Terminator 2. It is really hard to not be worried about world events right now.
Other tie-ins with armageddon prophesies are the mention of diseases taking out a good portion of the world's population. Hello covid! Other things associated with armageddon are famines. The environment is shifting the areas that have always grown the food could stop producing. Famines would come, no question.
Our civilization is in a shambles. We are one step away from electing our officials like we vote for American Idol. I think I can answer how the Romans at the end of the empire felt. We must remember they had indoor plumbing and hydrothermal heating their technology level was suspiciously close to our own.
I am sorry about the dark turn this entry took. I had to vent my paranoia. Feel free to respond in the comment with any additional signs of armageddon you have noticed.
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Funny Friday. Final Day. You know what that means... Funny Final Friday
You and your muse are invited to the Blame on my Muse Awards Banquet. Write about the event in today's blog entry.
Daisy dressed up in her forest green ballgown, with embroidered daisies around the hem. It was positively formal. The upside was that the long skirt of the gown unsnapped leaving her in a short green tulle skirt. Green ballerina slippers were laced halfway up her legs. This is what she considered informal dress-up. I wore a pair of jeggings and a brilliant blue sweater, plain old sneakers, and fuzzy fall leaf sox. They were my best dress sox.
We entered the banquet together and Daisy quickly snuck off to the punch bowl to spike it with nectar. Punch was never sweet enough for her tastes. She always felt very naughty for spiking the punch though I have explained many times it is only really naughty if you add alcohol. But why would anyone do that? It isn't even sweet!
I found our table and sat waiting for Daisy to tire herself out bouncing from one sweet treat to the next. Uncharacteristically she brought a plate piled with mini pigs in blankets to the table and began popping them in her mouth as fast as she could chew. These aren't really piggies!
Daisy was a dyed-in-the-wool vegan and I didn't know how to break the truth to her. "Well, most of them aren't piggies. There might be piggy byproducts."
Byproducts are tasty!
I sighed and let it go. I have always felt she was more canabalistic eating only other plants than she would be if she ate meat, but I also know it made musical sense to her.
The emcee stepped up to the podium to begin the awards part of the banquet. I made sure Daisy was occupied and settled in for the real entertainment. Here came the monkey with the banana rum...
|DAY 4 PROMPT
I should start by apologizing for trapping you all in the Banana Bar Basement last night but instead, I am going to Blame It on my Muse, and rightfully so, because if it wasn't for Andre none of this would even exist.
Although it's nice to have a muse to accuse, and Andre loves to take the blame, that crazy monkey gets me into more trouble than he gets me out of.
I know I'm preaching to the choir because I've seen what a handful your muses seem to be. Andre doesn't seem so bad in comparison. You all have some pretty tragic muses, and that's being nice!
So I know you're not going to like to hear this, but don't worry, nobody is going to be pushed into the basement. not today
Today you've been coerced into fostering a rescue muse.
Yep, Tell us about your experience at the muse shelter. Describe some of the muses and their sad history.
Decide which muse you are going to adopt, then choose one to give to one of the other bloggers, tell them a little about the muse you chose for them and why you thought it would be the perfect muse for them.
Do you know what would be fun? This is Andre's idea
Give rescue muses to your Writing.com friends and tag them in your entry.
The muses will thank you for this.
Oh, man don't ever take your muse to the muse shelter to pick up a foster muse. I swear they become so ridiculously people pleasing.
Daisy trotted along from the car to the shelter making promises we both know she couldn't keep. I'll be good! Don't leave me at the shelter! I won't spill your cappuccino anymore. I learned the difference between peas, nuts, and butter; and Peanutbutter. Really I have. And I will work harder for you! Please don't leave me here.
"Oh hush Daisy! We're here to pick up a muse or two for fostering. Not to leave you here. I am very happy with you." I petted her on the forehead and scratched her behind the ear, well where the ear would be if anthropomorphic flowers had ears.
Don't lie to me Pam! I gave you that line when you had to surrender the pitbull. You left him there!
"This time it's true. I had to give Cujo up. He tried to eat Teenie! She was a chihuahua not a snack cake!" I pulled the door open and Daisy crawled into my shadow to hide. I sighed and pushed my way through the entryway.
"Welcome to The Starcity Muse Shelter. Are you surrendering? Or adopting?" A dwarf version of the jolly green giant asked from behind the counter. He clutched a butterfly net.
"Fostering? I heard there was a new litter that won't be old enough for adoption for quite some time. I figured I could take one or two home and train them up right. Daisy's here as a reference to my skill at training and maintaining muses."
"Oh, then I don't need this," He shoved the butterfly net under the desk. "What is your creative outlet? Are you a generalist or do you practice one art over all the others?"
"Generally, I write, but I am pretty good at a lot of other things too. I should have brought the doll I made to look like Daisy. It really catches her mischievous nature. I drew a coloring book as well. I think I am pretty well-rounded."
She is, she really is. Daisy stated, poking her head out of my shadow to confirm what I was saying. From there she slowly rose from my shadow and took full corporeal form.
The mini jolly green giant winked at her, "You're a cute one."
Daisy blushed deep green and smiled, Can we see the baby muses?
"Right this way ladies," The Jolly Green Midget led us down the hall past small kennels full of muses of all shapes and sizes. Lavender gorillas, orange marmosets, striped green pajamas topped with teddy bear faces. He led us to a back room where they had set up a large pen. In the pen were baby muses some of them were still flickering through their various possible adult forms, from dust bunnies to dragons. They were all adorable. Two of them had stopped flickering, one looked like a mauve tabby cat, the other was an auburn elephant baby. I turned to The Jolly Green Midget, "Aren't the elephant ones supposed to help with organization and memory? I have a friend who had a tbi and I think that little auburn guy could help her a lot. Now I think we'll take that green thing and the blue thing to foster ourselves. We'll get their minds made up and their skills trained up."
"Three! You're going to take 3?"
"Yep, 1,2,3, wrap them up and we're outta here before Daisy has a panic attack."
Daisy picked up the auburn elephant. I'll grab this bundle of fluff! Who is he for?
"Schnujo of course! She helps everyone around her she could use another good muse to help her out."
"Cool we can be internet buddies little guy."
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|DAY 3 PROMPT
It's a funny thing now that we are all gathered here in The Banana Bar with our muses, waiting for the Day 3 prompt to finally be revealed, when all of a sudden the lights went out, and when the lights came back on you find yourself in the Banana Bar Basement.
Oh No! That's not good. Luckily there was a pen and paper left behind, probably by the last group of bloggers I trapped in the basement somehow. Write about what you find or discover in the basement, and how you find your way out. or if you find your way out Do you meet anyone down there? Is your muse helpful in helping you navigate a path back upstairs?
Ref- The basement guy in the Banana Bar staff intros.
I hate basements, they always seem to be full of spiders, snakes, and or rats. Did I mention ghosts? Basements have ghosts too. Or worse ghost spiders, snakes, and or rats. "Daisy, I don't suppose you saw how we ended up down here did you?"
What a pretty spiderweb. Sorry, what? No. Though I think I heard a door slammed and locked in that direction. She pointed lasily off towards several rows of bottle racks.
I left her to get bitten by a black widow and began investigating in the direction she had waved. In her haphazard way of remaining corporeal, Daisy appeared from behind a rack of bottles.
I sure hope wine doesn't go bad, some of these bottles are hundreds of years past their expiration dates.
That's weird I didn't think Andre was the kind of classy that had a wine cellar. I examined the nearest bottle. It had a screw top. That was exactly the kind of class I expected from Andre. "Hey Daisy, Why don't you just do that moving through space thing you do and find the way out of here, I think I am going to check some of these bottles to make sure they haven't gone bad," I picked up a Chateau Lafite Rothschild - Pauillac 1978 and swore. It was a good vintage, definitely no screw top on this one. My loss, I didn't have a bottle opener. I went and opened a screw top bottle and took a swig. My mistake the harsh burn of cheap banana rum burned the whole way down. How can this possibly be? So I checked another screw top bottle. Slightly better banana rum. I considered breaking open one of the expensive bottles, but it would be a waste of good wine if I was wrong, and good rum if I was right. Why would someone go to the trouble of putting banana rum into wine bottles? Lilli must be hiding it from Andre, it's the only explanation. Well I am not going to tell him. I like having a banana daiquiri every once in a while.
Uh, there's a hatch and a ladder this way... Do I smell rum?
"Just lead the way out now please."
Daisy ran me around in circles finally coming to a stop in front of a rickety ladder leading up into the darkness. I began climbing. The higher I got the worse the idea looked. I got to the hatch and just as I pushed it open and climbed through the ladder collapsed. I sat panting behind the bar and looked down into the deep dark hole I had just escaped. I closed the hatch. The bar was stocked with all manner of good banana rum. I poured myself a shot. Two sips told me it was more water than rum. I looked at the hatch and considered the idea of going back down into the basement.
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|Blame it on my Muse a 5 DAY Blog Challenge
DAY 2 PROMPT
Because Writing.com is an American-based web business all muses are deemed American citizens regardless of the nationality and location of the author. I don't make the rules.
Your muse just announced its candidacy for president of the United States of America, and you are the campaign manager.
Write a winning rally speech for your muse.
You can be the campaign manager for Andre the Blog Monkey if you'd like.
I, Daisy Flowerbottom, am an American Muse. I can surely inspire the other leaders of this country to make it stronger, greater, and more creative than it has been at any time in the history of this continent. I want to be the next president to restore our reputation with the rest of the world. Creativity is not a job that can be outsourced. Only a great American can write the Great American Novel.
I would bring new jobs to this country. Good jobs, creative jobs, jobs no other country could possibly take from us. We are a country of dreamers, writers, and artists. Let's monetize that stuff! We are irrepressible and and relatable. Each and every one of us in this country are someone's muse. Whether we are mothers or daughters, fathers or sons. We inspire one another to greatness and if we pull together as a nation we will be great. We are great. Isn't it about time for a president that believes in what this country is rather than thinking we need to change everything completely.
Sure some things should change, but not everything that has made us great. Our American Dream is for a better future for all and working together we can achieve it.
Vote Daisy Flowerbottom, for creativity, for togetherness, for our future.
|DAY 1 PROMPT ~ Jan. 24th 2022
You have to prepare a complex meal for a special occasion, all of your family and friends will be in attendance.
Oh, oh... You are completely out of every ingredient and you don't have time to go shopping. You have to send your muse out shopping, there's no other option.
What do you send your muse to shop for? What does your muse return with, and how does your dinner party turn out?
"Hey Daisy, could you please run to the store for me, I have a huge dinner to prepare in the next hour and I can't leave these people to shop for it?"
Sure, but you do realize I have no concept of the value of money right?
"Yep, but my budgeting sense is busy making a gallon of bottled water stretch over twenty people. Can't send him now can I?"
Good point, inspired idea, you order it online and pay and I'll just pick it up!
"Ah, be right there Uncle Joe. You go online find the stuff in the recipes pick out the cheapest version and put it in the cart. I'll come back in a minute, check the cart and pay Okay?!"
Peanut butter? here's peas, nuts, and butter I can do this...
"Daisy I'm back, add cold beer. Other than that is the cart done?"
Yes, but you should check it out...
"Great, looks fine, card info entered, just go pick it up at the Walmart north of Superior St."
"Why are there peas?"And walnuts? How am I supposed to make chicken satay with peas and walnuts?"
There is butter too! Everything on the list. I got spumoni instead of spaghetti because noodles are gross. And I didn't think you would mind chicken nuggets it didn't say what part of the chicken you needed...
"Thank god I didn't send Whimsy. We'd be eating buttons and rubberbands. I will make do Daisy. How about you go back to brainstorming for my novel."
|5 DAY MINI CHALLENGE PROMPT
Mysterious Mysteries Adventure [#2264954]
It's an adventure because it says so in the title.It's an adventure because it says so in the title.
What's Written On Dighton Rock?
In the 1950s, workers uncovered a huge 40-ton rock near Berkeley, Massachusetts with strange marks and symbols carved on it. It had first been described around 1680 and was studied many times by scholars in the centuries after, as per New England.
Because it appears to have both pictorial inscriptions as well as some letter-like carvings, not everyone thinks it is the work of Native tribes in the area, but possibly the work of sailors from Portugal or even proof of Viking or Phoenician visitation.
Andre says, "If anyone can decipher this message, it would have to be a writer."
Share your theory, and solve the message in the marks and symbols. Convince your readers that your theory is the only factual solution.
It is a future Arbys Drive through order. At some point in the not too remote yet not too close future an Arby's franchise will be built across from the boulder. In that future time the English language will have been replaced with Middle Nuevo Anglico and this boulder is covered in the shorthand version of this language. Precisely Ten years after the opening of this drive through franchise One Andre Monke will knock on the dining room door and request the order on the stone. It will then become the Andre Monke special which will consist of one Trump Salad including macaroni, cheese and curdled soy milk dressing on transgenic broccoli lettuce. and a grilled tofurkey sandwich on rye which is the only real bread accepted as edible in that time period. The beverage most often served with it is Marajuanna Tea which by then is perfectly legal.
As to who inscribed this order on this stone centuries ago, see the previous entry about time cruises and missing calculators.
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|DAY ONE PROMPT
Ancient Technology - Antikythera Computes A Mystery
January, 2022 5 Day Mini Challenge [#2264800]
The first prompt for the 5 Day ChallengeThe first prompt for the 5 Day Challenge
Named after the island near where it was found by sponge divers 115 years ago, the Antikythera mechanism is an incredible machine of finely calibrated gears that appeared to be technology not available until at least the 10th century—but the mechanism was at least 2,000 years old.
Then in 2016, it was found in Andre the Blog Monkey's luggage when he returned to Canada from a magical mystery ship vacation.
Can anybody shed some light on this mysterious object?
So that is where I dropped my calculator! I knew I shouldn't take it on that time cruise to ancient Greece. I just needed somewhere the IRS couldn't see me doctor my tax forms. Oh god, They didn't find a chest of w2s with it did they? I could end up next to Al Capone for this s***! Man, I hope they didn't find the place on the forms where I deducted the time cruise as a business expense.
Wait I am posting this on the internet. Does the IRS check all social media sites? AM I SCREWED?
Wait, this is a writing website, all of this was fiction, total fiction. There was no time cruise, I have never had to file taxes. But of course, if there were a time cruise it would be a business expense, right? They wouldn't spend the extra money to incarcerate a modern tax evader with Al Capone. Time trips aren't cheap, am I right? I wouldn't know I have never taken one.
I could probably escape alcatraz anyway. I have been on the tour. I know how the other dudes did it.
That's it the monkey did it all, he doctored my taxes, lost the calculator, forged the w2s, It is all the Damn monkey's fault!
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|DAY 2455 January 8, 2022
Let's try another group of words that are a bit more challenging to use: death, frame, promise, wave, earthflax, bloody, concrete, disappearance, and emotion.
I had to copy the prompt. the words were just so tempting I don't know what else to do with them right now. They just sounded so cool and so like some words Beaoul or Raen might find crossing their paths. I can almost picture the scene, but not quite at the moment.
I had a really cool set of dreams last night about a superhero school where a lot of the cool kids are more villains than heroes I wrote three pages down in description in my dream journal. the last time I had a dream this cool Raen and Beaoul came of it and I am really happy with where they are going. That is the problem the idea is so cool I want to drop what I am working on and play with it, but that would be bad news for Raen and Beaoul. I just got them worked into the outline of the Hellhounds sequel. I am calling it Emancipations because the overall theme is of characters finding their way out of proverbial slaveries of sorts they have found themselves in. Raen is trapped by her society, Beaoul starts out as a hellhound slave of the mistress of darkness, Mae starts out enslaved by duty to the preserve. Tyrulan starts out as a sanruphrup slave to Mira like Beaoul. all of the other characters have ideas or other less tangible things holding them back from being who or what they want to be. Sometimes the characters are stuck because of cultural expectations and prejudices found in the supposedly utopian society of the Preserve.