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453 Public Reviews Given
453 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked the last line "There is cruelty in those threads, the ones that strangle our hearts and choke off our breath". It is truth. I relate to this completely. It's hard to come to grips with knowing someone is gone but not having the guts to move on. Wondering what they are up to or what you did wrong, it's hard to overcome it. It is well written.
Good job
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Review of Murder Me  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Wow. This is an intense and vulgar poem. To want someone to murder you that bad, is a feeling that must be hard to overcome. Midnight thriller and passionate killer can even suggest that your past lover who causes you grief would be the one to murder you. It is as if the person likes to play with your mind and make you want to scream and go crazy.
Overall, good job.
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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem has potential. The idea of living a dream is wonderful. Whether you are king or the sun and moon, you would be happy to be in a place where people accept you for you. You would like things to go your way. The description is vivid and thought out.
Here are some lines that I would consider rewording: Land where I am morning
the sun, wind, rain, and night
revise to: Land where I am the sun
yearning for the moon
or
Land where I am morning
awaiting the arrival of night
(flows better)
also, change the phrase: hide my grief away
to: bury my grief away
Lastly, this phrase is unclear to me: There are none who claw to money with a knife. I know you are trying to rhyme but what does that mean? I heard of clinging to money for dear life.

Overall, great job.
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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (2.0)
The message is clear. Love is not as pretty as it looks. However there are some things I suggest you change: you spelled surprise wrong. Also, the *Heart* should be taken out of the poem because it makes it look not as professional. Revise this sentence: Because unexpectably somewhere, at some time, will that heart grasping someone sweep you off your two feet, making you fall head over heals.
instead Because unexpectedly, someone may try to reach out, grab your heart, and sweep you off of your feet. You, too, will fall head over heels into an abyss.

In my opinion, I do not think all situations are like that. Not everyone is deceitful. Majority may be...but not all

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Review of My Private Hell  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Wow this is a depressing piece, but the title fits the poem. The description is great, like having no desire for life, sitting in a box by yourself, and needing a spark for life. You did an excellent job.
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Review of It'd Be Nice  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I loved the second to last part of this piece: "To watch this city burn to the ground/And inhale the smoke of broken dreams/Where you never belonged/Sometimes that'd be very nice".
I agree with you that I would like that to happen too.
Just to have a place to start over anew, where the hope for something beautiful can happen. Instead of wrongdoings and feeling left out, it would be nice to have friends so you do not feel isolated from the world.
This is a good piece, which I enjoyed.
Good job.
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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The part I liked the best was the last part about the fathers whistling for the kids to come in. It shows that the father is the one to be feared. This piece is written well, but maybe include something specifically that you played, like a specific game as a child and how it made you feel. Adding some emotion can add some flavor to the piece.
Overall, good job.
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Review of Angels Weep  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like when you personified darkness growling. Beyond the stench of death, angels weep is another clever line too.
My suggestion is to move no hope to the next line so it reads: the light.....
no hope exists here, nothing can grow in the absence
of light, love, or expectation.
This poem is something I enjoyed reading.
Great job.
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Review of The Slaughter Pen  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is wonderful. Your description of how the soldiers must feel on their way into battle is amazing. I liked the last two lines, "Every eye traces the battle to each phase, ready to meet death with a gaze unbroken." This shows how much they have to put aside their fears, their worries, their struggles, and even their family in order to protect what they hold dear to them. The diction of whispers of whistling fate and desperate despair just adds to this piece.
Overall, excellent job.

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Review of Promises Promises  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Yes, I can see where you are coming from. Although you are not being treated justly, you treat your friend how he deserves to be treated. Empty promises as the friendship progresses makes him push away as you grow closer. You somehow feel connected although the two of you are drawing further apart by day. You want to just yell at him to listen to you for you are the only one who truly cares about him. Silly little girl is an interesting way to end a poem...but there has to be some significance to it.

Overall, great job.
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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well said. Depression drains you alright, believe me *Frown*.
A warrior on defense shielded from protection is a great line because it displays a vision for one to picture. The title above the ignorance is a title that fits. It draws the reader in
There has to be hope to win the battle because
Without it we can't do anything
Overall great job
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Review of Drips  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Doesn't that hurt ? Like doesn't that cause an immense amount if pain? I could never do that. Im afraid of blood. I hate pain and just want to end it. Cutting would just make it worse. Why do that and cause more pain? Why? I'm here to talk. I'm depressed to and sometimes all you need is to talk
I don't judge I just want to help. Pain sucks and makes you want to end it . I know
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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
No. That's terrible to utter... You'll be ok. I'm depressed too but that sounds awful . I'm here if you want to talk. I know what its like to just want to perish or to not be satisfied or to not even know why you cry. It sucks but if you don't have someone I'm here to help you get through
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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
In the inside there is a part of us that is neglected. No one takes care of it. No one cares. But look here. You might feel weak. You might feel alone. You might feel like running away. But DO NOT. That neglected part is for you to take care of. I am here in your darkness. In your pain and tears I am here. Do not give up. Fight back hard because you know you are stronger than the fools who dare call someone ugly.
Talk to me if you need it. You can do it. You will make it through.
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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is poetic, beautiful, sad, and tormenting at the same time. I feel this way sometimes, and it is a horrible feeling. It is like the world is crashing down on you with thunder and pain. You presented the storm as a symbolism of the difficulties of life. Any sorce of happiness is destroyed by the evildoers of the world. I liked the part about the thieves and the reparitions. These are good comparisons with outside sources. This is written incredibly well for someone who is venting on paper. This is wonderful.

Excellent job
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Review of Sprinkles of Love  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked this a lot. It is a positive and upbeat poem. It is about moving past the struggles of life and remembering what is important. The last line is my favorite except the ; should be taken out. It sounds better as one thought. There is much truth to this because it is a dream that a lot of people would have: to have no pain and move on.

Great job!

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Review of Broken People  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This portrayed how people of all sorts experience and pain and are affected by it. The similar factor is that people are broken by circumstances that sometimes they can or cant control. It is frustrating when one cannot do anything to help out and thus is left to his own despair. I liked the picture underneath the piece you wrote. Also, the line "sadness disappears" is true. There will always be sadness in the world whether it is due to death, injury, or emotional outbursts. I enjoyed reading this, and you did a great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*

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Review of Alone  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Yeah I know how it feels to cry at night and not fall asleep, being alone. It really sucks. No I do not relate to the pills, but I can see that it is real hard to get by without telling your own parents. If you ever want to talk I'm here for you.
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Review of Love  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
What I liked: I liked the part about riding the horse away from the guy. It shows fierceness and strength to walk away. Also, when the girl falls off the horse, it is the climax. Especially when she is stuck in the current makes the situation intense. Josh is a jerk for lying and kissing another girl . No one deserves to be cheated on, no matter how horrible the person.

Corrections: Take out the part about fishing. It confuses the reader because the next sentence says Josh is visiting an old friend. Next, elaborate on the ending. Your story has a beginning and a middle. However the story just abruptly ended. Maybe, mention how the kiss josh gave to the other girl looked passion. It breaks her into a million pieces. Then , you can still have her drown with the last words of I love you. Maybe, you can write a sequel about how the girl's death affected josh and how his life changed for the better despite such a mistake and a loss.

Other comments: Good job.
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Review of Alone  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked how you you said Winters hunger and midnight's eye. It is creative. I enjoyed reading this because it is true. I relate to this because I know how the mind can deceive someone's ability to function in reality. When you compared memories to ghosts, it shows that the past can haunt you. One must learn to overcome it . How? How is that possible when you said no one can help with the thoughts? Someone may relate to you but not enough to solve it. This poem was very well written and great.
Awesome job!
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Review of Shelter Eyes  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was informative. I am glad that I was able to read this. To think that you would have to experience what it is like to be able to say good bye to a pet forever...To think how it would be like to say that not every one can make it....That puts tears in my eyes. I believe that animals should be treated with respect because they are creatures like us who want to be loved. It is irresponsible for a person to buy a pet and then return it! What kind of person is that? It disgusts me when animals are abandoned. The poor cat or dog left on the street to perish.....how terrible!!
This arose awareness of what animals and the people who have to take care of them go through. Great job!


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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
What I liked: I liked this because it kept me interested. It was suspenseful and made me want to read on. I liked how it kept referencing that the cause of this was one drug of meth. It sure sounded like there were a lot of problems with these guys. Chad's chemically unbalanced brain was a good way to describe him. Sven was the tag along. He just does as he is told. Although how idiotic it is to put his life and tons of others at risk. I was surprised at the location of the incident, a jewlery store. The amount of people that died made it sound like the location could have been a mall or NY city.

Corrections: I would suggest changing the location. Also, I liked the idea of making the last word in each sentence rhyme. However, keep doing throughout the story. There was one part that did not follow the format, and it sounded odd. This was some of the part that the last word did not rhyme:
As they pulled into the parking lot,
Sven broke down 2 quarter gram lines,
Then rolled up a $5 bill,
And gave Meth total control of their minds

Other comments: Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*

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Review of The Great Europe  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked doing the word search. It was unique to do one about the countries in Europe *Smile*

good job
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Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I was not able to read all of the poems you listed because I have homework to do tonight (im a senior in high school) though if it makes you feel any better I would rather read your work than do that. Anyways, the poem on insomnia was great because I know that when you want to sleep and cannot it is the most frustrating thing in the world. The poem called, "The Fallen Angel" I relate to also. I had called my beautifully deceitful but charming past love an angel. Then, when he left, I called him the fallen angel from hell. However, I could not ever keep that title because he meant so much to me. So I kept it as angel. Then , a new possible love calls me an angel. It is such a compliment in a way although at times I feel like a fallen angel with no wings. Your writing style is that it rhymes a lot which seems a little overdone at times, but your storyline keeps me interested.

Great job.

*Star* *Heart* *Star*

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Review of Five Clicks  
Review by Mysterious Wolf
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
What I liked: This was good! I liked it a lot. It was a sad story, but the idea of putting five clicks into the story made it more interesting. I enjoyed reading it because it was different in a good way. You are right the person was FUBAR (fucked up beyond any recognition). To cheat on someone many times is to betray the love that he/she puts into the relationship and shows how terrible the other partner was to sink that low.

Corrections: It was written well.

Other comments: Great job!

*Star* *Heart* *Star*

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