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69 Public Reviews Given
69 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I love to review and read others' work. I'm an English Literature student so I try to look at the topic and individual techniques used as well. I'll always point out the positives as I believe there is something good in everyone's work. Also, I'll always try to find places where I can give suggestions in the form of constructive feedback. I'm happy to explain any aspects of my reviews if asked. N.B. I'm checking Writing.com weekly from now on so I should be able to get to your request quickly. For those few which expired, I'm working through to review regardless.
Favorite Genres
Supernatural. Dark. Comedy. Adventure. Satire.
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Poems. As much as I love reading poems and I've been known to read and review a few on here, I'm yet to read up on poetic techniques. Therefore, I'm not too comfortable giving an in-depth review on poems if you want the techniques analysed.
Public Reviews
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Review of Connect  
Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi,
I love this short story. The structure of short sentences mixed in with a few longer ones is fantastic and helps control the fast pace and makes me want to carry on reading.
The repetition of 'I' that changes to a 'We' is very interesting and also brings me closer to the narrator. This also enhances the emotion of the piece and brings the reader into the narrative.
It seems like a sci-fi, dark horror short story as you don't explain what the 'monsters' are- so the reader has to imagine their own monsters (or maybe they aren't monsters at all but a horrifying concept).

I really love this piece,
Becca
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Review of Lisa  
Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I found this on Rate & Review.

It's a short and sweet piece with a good writing style to keep the reader engaged. Already the characters are good with lots of potential, so I believe you could extend this to a novel by adding some more characters and creating a problem for Lisa etc. I like the title, clear and descriptive so the reader immediately knows it will be about Lisa.
I like the mention of the sneakers, a token/motif of the parents' love for Lisa- showing that although they argue it is just stress and they love Lisa and are good people.

My only suggestions would be to change 'went to college, and secured a financial future' from past tense to 'go to college and secure a financial future' as you're saying she wishes to do this, not that it has already happened. Plus, in ' It was the frustration they felt, Lisa never let them know...' add 'so' to make it 'It was the frustration they felt, so Lisa never let them know...'

Overall a great read and I hope you extend it and/or write more 3 minute reads like this one!
Happy Writing!
-Becky
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Review of Snowed In  
Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It's good! From the first line of dialogue it's clear that Barley is a dog, and then you continue to tell the reader this without actually saying it which is clever. The references of food, Old Yeller, peeing, and annoyance at their human is funny and shows you've mastered writing through the mind of your narrator.
The line in bold, specifically the 'Make my day.' part doesn't flow as naturally as all the other dialogue.
If you were considering extending it, you could add a cat character or another dog to see if they react to the human in the same exasperated manner or are more/less sympathetic.
My favorite part is the dog getting exasperated 'Why did I bark?' as it references how characters are comforted my dogs in scary movies but also how the dog's bark spooks the character. Then the dog addresses this knowing he shouldn't have barked, and goes back to Disney movies and food. It's a clever addition.
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Review of The Why's  
Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, it's a good poem, I really like it, but I try to give suggestions in my reviews as well as saying what I like as I've found it to be more constructive.

Firstly,I like the repetition of 'Why lie when you can lay?' it keeps the poem flowing and on track. The genres you picked really do fit as it is very sweet and emotional. Plus, the first line of 'I've got a case of the 'why's' again' is quite melodramatic due to the word 'again'- I'm wondering how many times the narrator has asked this! Which makes their love for the girl sweet and sad with the love ending. In terms of the content I like how you include everyday activities, such as lying in bed sweaty from the sun all day, which expresses the love but isn't cheesy, just honest which makes it more sentimental. Addressing poetical techniques, what stands out the most for me as outstanding is the rhyme scheme, and consequently breaking the rhyme scheme in stanzas 5 and 6. This makes those stanzas stand out as significant to the narrator, therefore the reader, showing how happy the character was in love.

A few suggestions. Regarding grammar, the first letter of every line does not have to be capitalised if not following a full stop or a question mark, so you could change that small feature. I would consider changing 'girl' to 'woman' as it would correlate with the mature feel of the poem- girl implies a child, and although the character could be the narrator's daughter the line 'Your hand on her leg' rejects this idea.

Overall, I'm glad you let the world see your poem as it's very good and made me invested in the narrator's life! How did his soulmate 'get away'- just a bad separation? Or was there something else? It's a great poem!

Happy Writing! Feel free to respond with any questions to my review
-Becky
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Review of Just Another Walk  
Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like this, especially the emotion running through it! The capitalisation, the punctuation and the stanza length all add to a hard-to-contain emotion which sparks the fight in the reader. It makes your poem persuasive and like the 'I' should be the reader too.

I'm interested in the ending of the poem 'And I...'- I like how it makes it seem like the narrator is still carrying on but has been cut off and makes the sentiment more continuous.

If you want to extend it, I would like to know where the narrator's strong feelings about the city spring from and when they started grieving 'everyone the second our eyes part'. However, I do like how that part is ambiguous as it lets the reader find themselves in the narrator and agree with the narrator's passion as well as let the reader make up their own mind about the narrator.

It's a really good poem on an interesting topic.
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Review of Her  
Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, I found this under the 'Please Review' section, so I hope my review is helpful.

It's good. The second line where you employ a list of 3 is a good technique. The adjectives 'enchanting' and 'bewitching' suggest she could be supernatural- a witch or sorceress maybe- which entices me. It's clear the narrator is in love or obsessed with her, especially the final line
which sums up how she is comforting and perfect to him. I do like your control over the punctuation, which really benefits the narrative.

My suggestions would be to explore the character of the woman more. You tell me that she's beautiful and enchanting and everything to the narrator- but what about her? She must be more than just her appearance. For example, could you give me detail on her personality? Is she a witch? What is the narrator to her? Is she mean? Is she powerful? Does she want the narrator to be in love with her? I would like to see her as more than just a 'work of art', instead as a person.
A technical suggestion would be to explore more poetic devices, such as rhyme scheme, alliteration, and extended metaphors.

I hope this helps! Feel free to email me with any comments!
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Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! I found this on 'Read a Newbie'. Hope you're enjoying it on here!

I like it, it has clear themes, enhanced by the repetition of 'what a nice day they say'. I do like the narrator, the bitterness of the tone is very comedic. I'd suggest you could add 'Comedy' as a genre because this is dryly amusing. Another suggestion would be to add a full stop after 'The sky is grey' and an '!' after the final line of 'It could be better', I just think it would add to the emotion and feel to the poem.

I can't really pinpoint why, but I'm getting the feeling the narrator is a teenager - might be the exasperated and dryly comedic tone- which makes me love it more!

Overall, I'm glad to have found this, it's well-written, poignant and fun to read!
Happy Writing!
- Becky
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Review of Mother love  
Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, I found this on Read & Review.

One of the things that is good about this is the sentiment behind it. As a reader, I clearly understand the daughter's confusion at the beginning, her mother's undying love and finally the strong bond between mother and daughter.

Personally, I think this would benefit from proofreading as there's a few sentences that I don't really understand. Instead of saying 'That time I was getting worry' you could say ' At this point I was getting worried' or 'That got me worried'.
Another point I would recommend is to change your narrative voice. Currently I don't know who is telling the tale as in the first paragraph you use 'she' implying 3rd person, yet in the 2nd paragraph the daughter might be telling the tale? If you continue to write in 3rd person, which sounds good, I think you need to employ speech marks and less question marks as otherwise it gets confusing. However, I believe it would benefit being told from in first person from the daughter's perspective as then, though you would still have to add more speech marks to make it clear who is saying what or if they're speaking, you'll be able to bring the character of the daughter to more prominence and clarify the age of the child, which would accommodate her confused feelings about her mother's love.

Happy writing! If you'd like to question any of my comments feel free to respond to this comment.
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Review of You are reliable  
Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I found your poem on 'Read A Newbie'.

I really love this poem, it's sentimental, loving and I can feel the emotion behind it due to your use of language, structure, and rhyme. It took me awhile to try to find a helpful point I could give you, as this is so well-written! Ultimately, though, my pointer would be to look at your capitalization of the first word of every line. Yes, it is needed in examples such as 'Your' in the third stanza as the last line of the second stanza ended in a full stop. But, following lines that end without a full stop, the capital letters are not grammatically needed.

What stands out to me the most is your rhyme scheme. The ABAB structure never breaks, which suggests to me that the 'dedicated friend' is a constant and caring presence that will continue long after the poem. I also love the use of 'you' pronoun as it seems more inclusive and implies a direct relationship with the reader, which creates more emotion.

This is amazing! Happy writing!
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Review of When  
Review by Becca Winchester
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, I found your work on "Read a Newbie".

I found your story very interesting, and I like how you personify the curtains to remind him of his past memories. I also really like your use of questions as it makes me wonder about the narrator. Especially as I don't know who the narrator is, possibly that could be something to explore if you extend it? Is the narrator reliable? A third person omniscient narrator? Is it part of the plot or just telling you about the guy?

When you write 'but surely he was looking for a place like home, warm and homey', I would suggest changing the word 'homey' because the readers already know he wants it homey as he's looking for someplace like home.

Another suggestion I would give is to proofread as there are instances where you say 'whit' instead of 'with' and 'loose' instead of 'lose'.

Plus, I think it's really clever how you say 'cruelty and aggression did marry him twice'.

Overall I think it's really good and would like to see where you take it next.

Happy Writing!
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