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Review Requests: OFF
1,485 Public Reviews Given
1,578 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look for a good hook at the beginning and like stories that "hit the ground running". Good plots with a theme, strong characters with an emotional impact, moving dialogue, sensory descriptions, clear communication and words with a purpose are strong points of a good story.
I'm good at...
knowing a good story when I read one. I like to read as much as I like to write, maybe more. I will let you know when a sentence just does not make sense to me, and I will try to give you my opinion on how to make it better.
Favorite Genres
biographical, family, drama, mystery, comedy, nature, young adult
Least Favorite Genres
sci-fi, erotica, fantasy, mythology
Favorite Item Types
short stories, essays, fiction & non-fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
novels
I will not review...
novels...sorry, no time
Public Reviews
Previous ... 7 8 9 10 -11- 12 13 14 15 16 ... Next
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Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning,

You've done a great job with the prompt and written a cute children's story. Although predictable, I think children would find it delightful. I could even imagine the pictures as I read through.

The story offers a good moral lesson without spelling it out and it's easy for a child to understand. I hope you decide to submit somewhere in that genre....and good luck with the contest.

Thanks for sharing.

Connie
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello,

I clicked on this from the Drama Newsletter, and what a gripping little story...drama is right. You took me from sorrow to happiness to anger in just a few words!

I shall have to search out the other stories you mention at the end...maybe I could learn a few things *Smile*.

Please keep writing and sharing.

Connie
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good Afternoon,

I enjoyed reading this story. Congrats on your Cramp win.

I'm not exactly sure why it helps but I know it always does...to hear that others suffer the same as we, ourselves, suffer. I guess it's the human connection.

You have shown it well in your words. Thanks for sharing and write many more.

Connie
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Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Good Morning Alexandria,

I typed "family" in the space and your story came up. It is written very well and I sped through it with a heavy heart knowing it was for your "honorary" brother. I lost the better part of me a little over two years ago...not able to write about it yet.

Death seems far away and a strange thing until it visits someone close. Then, it becomes too real. You have done a good job at trying to describe the sadness it causes. The good memories and the love in our hearts help us through.

Thanks for sharing this and please keep writing.

Connie
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Review of The Game  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good Morning,

This is so sad and says so much in so few words. And the last two lines sum up the message. Wouldn't it be nice if this were posted prominently at children's athletic events? Maybe it would change some minds and some actions. Children are so impressionable at this age. Parents should remember their own youth when acting out their emotions at times like this.

Thanks for sharing and please write some more. Well done.

Connie
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Review of Timeless Letters  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with Roots & Wings Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good Morning Aralls,

What a heart-warming story this is. I like the way you begin. It shows how much you love and value your great-grandparents. And I like the letter excerpts. They tell the story. The photos were an extra treat.

You have a good memory of Ma although you were so young. That, too, reinforces the love you felt for her. You have honored them both by sharing your story. Thank you.

Connie
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Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi BJDeming,

I found you under "Read a Newbie". Welcome to the site. Your title was the hook since I have never heard about gold in New England. Very interesting.

Your article is well-written and reads like a chamber of commerce tourist attraction, although you cover several towns in different states. I checked out the mindat site and found it fascinating and full of information. I have always been interested in "rocks". Thanks for the link.

Your article brought back a memory of a stopover in Dahlonega, Georgia, a long time ago where I had my first taste of red-eye gravy. Unfortunately, the gold mine there was closed at the time.

Thanks for sharing this nice article. It makes me want to visit New England *Smile*.

Keep writing fun,
Connie
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Whitemorn,

I found your poem on the review tab and wondered what comes with the heat? How true it is!

I liked your rhymes, your voice was light and teasing, and almost every line created an image for me. You have good rhythm and I could find nothing to complain about *Smile*.

Thanks for that smile on my face and please keep writing.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
259
259
Review of Life Unlimited  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good Morning Chrysanthemum,

I found you on the review tab and your interesting title drew me in. I see in your description that this is an intro...to a novel?

What you have written so far has piqued my interest. Following the life of a multi-dimensional character always makes for a good story. Your writing is clear and places me in the moment. I am beginning to get a good picture of Lin Wu and have lots of questions that would keep me reading for the answers (who are the Southside regulars, how does Manny fit into the picture, where is this taking place?)

Let me know if you write more of this.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Brown Earth  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Stormwriter,

As soon as I read the first two lines of your poem, I knew what it was about. I recently had a terrible loss and felt the complete desolation and anguish in your words.

And that is what a poem is supposed to do, draw out our emotions. You have done a superb job, rhythm and flow excellent.

Please keep writing.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Summer of 1816  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Riverbedwriter,

I found you on the "Read a newbie" list. What an interesting topic to write about. I had never heard about this before. And to think we complain about the weather.

I found your article well-written, maybe a few commas missing here and there, but nothing to detract from my enjoyment. I like the way you personalized the topic with examples of just what was happening within families. That always makes historical events seem more real to the reader and allows him to connect with the story.

Well done, and please...write some more.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Morning,

I found you on the 'Review Button'. This is an interesting story and I appreciate the telling. I can imagine the fright of those passengers as they sped back down the incline. I guess, as they say, some people are born leaders and this train was fortunate to have some aboard.

As I was reading, a few problems presented themselves, and I hope you do not mind my sharing them with you. Your very first sentence creates a wonderful picture, but it is too long. It gives the reader too much information to digest in one breath. If you break it up into smaller ones, you will more easily hold your reader's complete attention, very important at the beginning of a story. I would say something like -

The daily Shortline train chugged to Cripple Creek from Colorado Springs. It came to a stop at Cameron at about 8 o'clock on July 5, 1904. The summer night was warm as the mountains to the west seemed to swallow the sun.

Also, I noticed some changes in verb tense. Sticking with one tense gives the reader more continuity and makes the story easier to follow.

I really enjoyed this story, learning about switching and adding engines, and of course about the disaster. Your addition of the hero's burial was added enjoyment. Thanks for sharing this and write some more *Smile*.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Live and Learn  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Winchester,

I loved this story...and it is not often I use that word *Smile*. I guess the moral is you won't realize you don't know everything until you get married?

Great tongue-in-cheek writing with lots of laughs...or maybe not so tongue-in-cheek. *Laugh*

Keep writing and sharing.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Family Bible  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning,

I got a chuckle out of this and had to let you know. And congrats on your Flash win!

I like the way your dialogue carries most of the story. It keeps the action moving along at a steady pace. And I had no inkling of how it was going to end.

Thanks for sharing and giving me a laugh *Smile*.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning G.B.,

Your kitty story sounds similar to mine. Except someone dropped my kitty and she found me. Everything your kitty does sounds familiar to me. Thank goodness I am not allergic though. I am so glad you saved Foxy Grey and everything turned out okay. You know, some kitties live to twenty years old, and that is what I am hoping for, for both of us. I don't know what I would do without my Mopsy either.

I loved your story, your tribute to Foxy Grey. Please write and share some more.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Teacher  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Morning Jay,

I found your story on the review tab and it immediately caught my interest...but...where's the rest? You have me hooked, now tell me more. What happened?

What you have written so far is done well, clearly communicated, and I am rating it based on that.

Please finish the story...and let me know. Welcome to writing.com.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Haunting Hero  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good morning Winnie,

I found your flash fiction on the review tab this morning, and your first line pulled me in. I like your method of getting into this story, a story which is really all in the last paragraph where the dream is explained.

The back and forth dialogue between husband and wife emphasizes the importance of the dream and keeps the reader reading, the husband in denial, the wife all-knowing.

Thanks for sharing and please keep writing.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Caruso Plan  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi debecker,

Thanks for asking for another review. I enjoyed this story as well with its poetic lilt. You take me right back there with the young girl and the bully who turned her peaceful world into a terrifying reality.

I felt your dialogue and the actions of the parents was realistic for the time period. I liked the unspoken comments of the young girl, chiding herself with unfounded guilt, something that plagues many of us. And I really liked the young girl's solution to her problem, hinted at by the mother's threat early on, great foreshadowing.

The only problem with your writing that I can see is that it contains an abundance of passive voice. I do not necessarily consider this a big problem when the story is good, which yours is. For example take this sentence:

One such day was the day I got slashed across the face by Johnny Girelli with a spear that he had whittled by hand.

Instead of leaving this in passive voice, you could turn it around to read: On just such a day, Johnny Girelli slashed me across the face with a spear he had whittled by hand.

Do you see the difference? The active voice gives the sentence just a little more oomph and doesn't change the meaning at all. Of course, you are the writer and may prefer to leave it as it is, perfectly okay.

I notice the following phrase needs "to" changed to "the".

sealed to two halves of my face together again,

Other than these two things, I don't know of any way to improve this wonderful story. Please keep writing and sharing.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Mik and Nick Show  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi TJ Marie,

I found your story in the winner's spotlight on the Cramp today. Congratulations...and a unique and cute story it is! You caught me laughing *Smile*.

Your dialogue put me right there with the radio talk show host...and his sidekick. I love to listen to NPR so this was a joy to read. And the prompt could not have been used more appropriately. Well done!

Please write and share some more.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning Debecker,

I found your story on the random read this morning and I love the poetry of it, perfect for my own rainy, gloomy break of day.

Your story is a testament to how the brain culls information and stores it for future use, in this case, life-changing use. It is a beautiful story with refreshing and delightful descriptions that set the mood. You say it is biographical. You have succeeded in making it a testimony to your parent's love.

Thanks for sharing this, and welcome to wdc.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Closing Shop  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ruth,

Congrats on winning yesterday's Flash Fiction contest. I like the message in your story. Unfortunately, there are a few Jimmys out there *Sad*.

You do a great job of showing your message through dialogue, and, as is very helpful in flash fiction since there is little room for exposition, you show your surroundings this way as well. Good writing.

I'll be looking for more of your stories...please keep sharing.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of My Quiet House  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi G. B. Williams,

I read one of your blog entries and decided to take a look in your port. My Quiet House reached out to me. I feel the very same way about mine.

I like the way you make your house seem like an animate object, sometimes making noises, other times reassuring you, knowing deep down it was built just for you. You make it seem like your best friend. I like that, and what you are attempting to say, comes through loud and clear.

Thanks for sharing your feelings about your house, and please....write some more.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Morning D.NuMont,

I see by your genre this is a contest entry. I found it from the review tab this morning. Good luck in the contest.

I like the way you make the question sound like it has a trivial answer and then turn the tables at the end...good surprise tactic. And you do a good job of making your character sound stupid, not an easy thing in such a short piece.

An interesting read. Please keep writing and sharing.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with Roots & Wings Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning Femininja,

When I saw "Dreamcatcher" in your title, I was hooked. My son sent me three of them from North Dakota awhile back. One is hanging over my bed. Luckily, it hasn't caught on fire yet *Smile*.

I have deep respect for our Native Americans and enjoyed the historical side of your story and how you tied it into a modern concept.

Your story is well-written, I found no errors. Thanks for sharing this information and congratulations on your "flash" win.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good morning WhoDat,

I found your story in the "cramp" entries, and the prompt for today is interesting. Thanks for sharing your personal sense of smell experience.

I like the premise of your story, that the FBI would select someone without a sense of smell to be a sniffer...figures. I also like the what ifs you share at the end, especially the judge who sniffs out liars. But I think only I should be the only one able to do that *Laugh*.

Your story is well written, follows the prompt, and I enjoyed reading it. Good luck and write more.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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