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1,485 Public Reviews Given
1,578 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look for a good hook at the beginning and like stories that "hit the ground running". Good plots with a theme, strong characters with an emotional impact, moving dialogue, sensory descriptions, clear communication and words with a purpose are strong points of a good story.
I'm good at...
knowing a good story when I read one. I like to read as much as I like to write, maybe more. I will let you know when a sentence just does not make sense to me, and I will try to give you my opinion on how to make it better.
Favorite Genres
biographical, family, drama, mystery, comedy, nature, young adult
Least Favorite Genres
sci-fi, erotica, fantasy, mythology
Favorite Item Types
short stories, essays, fiction & non-fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
novels
I will not review...
novels...sorry, no time
Public Reviews
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Review of Next Empty Seat  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Good Morning Brix,

I found your story listed in the Short Story Newsletter this morning and decided to take the bus *Smile*.

The dull ride Sam takes through life on the bus is one taken by many people, only making the barest observations, never really doing anything. Using the bus ride as an analogy, you have shown Sam's life as one just skimming the surface and not being truly alive. Too many lives are like this and too many never realize it, me included sometimes.

Some of your sentences and words seemed rough and out of place, but since you have no bio completed, I was not sure how to address it. For example...Tragedy fell along Mr. McNaught's family. I would use the word "upon" instead of "along".

I thoroughly enjoyed your story and its message. I see you are new to Writing.com and would like to welcome you to the site. Everyone is friendly so if you have questions, ask any old timer and they will be happy to help (me included). Have lots of fun and write some more *Thumbsup*.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Piano  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Mel,

I found your story on the Hub Page and since I have a special spot for the piano as well, your title pulled me in to your short story.

Your love for the piano shines through this brief memory by the way you think of it, almost as a living, breathing being. I'm sure it did smile when it got cleaned and polished up.

Indeed, inanimate objects can find a place in our hearts when they give us so much joy for so little in return.

I found your piece to be poetry as well as prose. Thanks for sharing it.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Broken Glass  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jade Green,

I found you on the Hub Page this morning and see that you are new to writing.com. Welcome. You have found a comfortable and friendly place.

I read your story and you have done a good job of expressing the main character's emotions in a tough situation. It sounds like she is an only child making the stress of the moment even more pronounced. She has no siblings to talk things over with or gain some perspective. She is 'right in the moment'.

This story could be expanded to show what happens to this newly developing character. Perhaps she has girlfriends at school she talks to about her powerful emotional crisis.

You have written a wonderful beginning to a story succeeding in gaining the reader's interest. I hope you expand upon it and write more as you learn more about your main character.

Welcome, again, and give me a shout if there is anything I can help you with.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,

I found your acticle on the Newbies Review site and I hope you are enjoying Writing.Com. When I review, I try to read as much about the author as time permits. I visited your site and also your blog site and read your other two articles because I found them interesting. Your list of resources also look beneficial to all parents.

This article interested me from the beginning because I had nothing but optimistic and positive responses to Michelle Obama's school lunch initiative. You have stated your concerns well and have succeeded in raising some of my own. Yes, we already do have a lot of government control, but school lunches seem to be an easy way to start children on a good nutritional track. Changing from the old lunches does not seem all that bad in my opinion.

I don't think it is that others know more than parents, just that kids need some help in making the right choices when parents are not around. I'm not sure what to say about the bagged lunch, except that it sounds perfectly nutritious to me.

You seem to get off the subject a little when you start talking about condoms. I see the contrast you are making, but it only serves to deter concentration on the subject at hand.

I enjoyed the article. It is well-written and poses many questions as intended. I will look for more writing from you and try to follow your blog. Best of luck and welcome to Writing.Com.

Connie *Thumbsup*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

I found your story in this week's Newsletter for Authors by northernwrites. You pulled me into your story right away with your vivid description and I felt like I was riding along with you. I could feel the sticky sweatiness of the vinyl and the hot air and dust blowing in the windows.

I liked all the dialogue and could almost taste the hot biscuits with honey and butter. The clawfoot tub was not difficult to imagine since I grew up with one.

I am not sure where this story takes place but I imagined somewhere out west probably because of the cows. It did not matter. It could have been anywhere and anytime. The story is universal.

You did not tell the exact ending but the reader does know it was a happy one. Thanks for sharing this well-told tale.

Connie *Thumbsup*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Rendering  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Fyn,

I suspect the unlikable stranger is coming for Emily and she has escaped into her painting. You tell the story so well, I do not even question why all this is happening. I can make that up myself.

Your descriptions are vivid and draw me into the story, placing me in the quaint village along with the others. You have bestowed a special aura around Emily and given her unquestionable powers. You have succeeded in making me want to be a recipient of those powers without knowing anymore about her. Great characterization.

Thanks for sharing this story. I enjoyed it very much.

*Egg3* Connie *Egg7*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Through the Storm  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Intheventofire,

You have told an interesting old story with a new ending giving me something to think about. Your descriptions are vivid and your action verbs move the story along very well. More of this showing vs telling would give the story greater impact. A.Word search for 'was' will show you where to implement changes if you desire. Action verbs are very powerful attention grabbers and you have done an excellent job in most of the story.

Thanks for sharing this tale with a new twist, and please write more.

Connie
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Liar  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning Jadelette,

Although the triangle is an old story, you have imparted the impact of its results in a fresh manner, quick and direct. Jealousy is a human emotion, one all of us feel at some time and you have shown how awful the results can be if acted upon.

You tell your story very well, description is vivid, the anguish of the protagonist is felt, and Anton's total trust is understood.

Our emotions are as much a mystery as our brain and you have tapped into my emotions with this story. Well done.

Connie
** Image ID #1388845 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of My Woods  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Charmed 1,

A nature park that keeps a dog on a leash must drive the dogs crazy. I like your daydreaming and wonder what Baron is thinking. Did you see him smile and give you a high five?

This is a cute story told very cleverly to get across your message. Parks for the people but overflowing with restrictions to temper our enjoyment.

I especially liked this line..." leaves shiver down from taller trees"...great imagery.

Thanks for sharing this slice of life and please write more.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of the COAT  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Bluesman,

Thanks for writing and sharing this loving story about your granddad. I like your original metaphors, and I especially like this line, I still struggle to be worthy of existing as a branch of his tree. You have shown me a wonderful story.

Your descriptions of the coat, your fishing trip, and your surprise present and how you got to the woods were all bright images in my mind. I found the idea of paper shells interesting and you made its mention seem natural.

I am happy you had a memorable grandfather, and he was lucky to have you.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Thanks Dad  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good Morning Jb......

This is a powerful story, chosen for the biographical tag because that is where my interest lies. I like your tongue-in-cheek and ironic writing style. It shows your emotional state rather than telling and says a lot more.

I never had a father so I can feel some of your pain and longing. You conclusion makes me happy, that you knew you could be a good father by knowing how bad yours had been. It does not make it hurt any less, though.

You have written this story well, communicated exactly what you wanted to, and that is the reason I am giving the story five stars. Grammatical errors or other technical discrepancies (if there are any) always take a backseat to an excellent story. Thank you for sharing this and I sincerely hope you will write more like it.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Steve Thorn,

Since I am trying to write a memoir, I am reading the biographical genre, and your story came up on the click. I find it interesting and many times helpful to know what triggers memories. Baring your scar at a water park with inquisitive faces was a natural for this story to come back to your mind.

I like the way you have written about it with short, choppy sentences. It puts me right there in the midst of it all. Don't worry about the perfection of the memory. If we all waited for that, there would be no memoirs. The new biographical genre allows for a little fictionalizing.

I also liked what you say about not realizing our mortality until much later in life, also very true. A sixteen year old can skim by death and still feel immortal. I guess it is an age thing.

I enjoyed your story very much. Memory jolts can come when least expected and reading is a good way to be 'jolted'. Thanks for sharing this part of your life and please write some more.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Spiderfingers88,

I went searching for biographical statics (my favorites) and yours came up. You had some very interesting neighbors. I enjoyed reading about them, especially Miss Mitchell. I could picture her on her porch as you described, and, yes, I could picture her teaching piano after her 'treatments'. What a mystery the brain is. This is one of the things that has not changed. It may be a very long time, maybe forever, before we understand why things like that happen.

My husband had a bag of poop story in his repertoire except it was a Halloween prank and after they rang the doorbell, they set it afire to ensure the stomping part. I guess everyone lived through it and the memories are funny.

Thanks for sharing your well-written story and bringing some memories back to me.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Still Life  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning Annimaarit,

You have captured some interesting thoughts in your story of an old woman contemplating her past but looking toward the future. I am at an age where the words have poignant meaning for me.

When we are young, we have so little time to think, always doing. You pose some very relevant questions of life and seem to be trying to pass on a special wisdom the old woman holds to a younger generation.

You have written a beautiful story without the regrets or pettiness that age sometimes bring with it. It is thought provoking and well-written with just a little technical polishing needed. Thank you for sharing this and please keep writing.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Rutabaga Saga  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello D.L. Robinson,

I discovered your story while browsing the "Cramp" entries. I like your tongue-in-cheek style of writing, and I like memoirs so I was happy with my find.

I share your distaste for rutabagas, but I must admit I never was inquisitive enough to google it and find out why. I tasted rutabagas once in rutabaga pie. Somehow I mistook it for strawberry pie because it was red. Eewww, it was awful. What a dirty trick.

I did enjoy your information but not enough to try it again.

Thanks for sharing this cute and well-written story.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Trilla  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Good Morning Steve Ellen,

You have written a universal story in second person and you have done it well. Your first lines drew me in creating a mysterious atmosphere of which I had to know more. It reminded me a little of Michener's stories especially Chesapeake.

Second person is very difficult to write, but I found only one sentence that jarred my attention. Perhaps you have to talk directly at the translator ear to make it work. I do not feel the sentence was necessary, and it did take me out of the story as an aside of the narrator. This is only my opinion, and you know your story much better than I do. I wanted to share it in case it might be helpful to you.

Your story's message to me was that we do not know ourselves until we know love, and then love becomes all important to us. I say it is a universal message because that is how life is.

Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi BScholl,

I'm not one of those people who look at the end of a book first so I was very disappointed at the "unfinished" word. You have me very wrapped up in this story. I realize it has all been told before, many times, but like you, I am looking for a new ending. I hope you write a good one.

What you have written is done well and as I said grabbed my attention. I like the smells in the diner and the description of the parking lot out the window. I like the personal thoughts of Gary. They move the story along without kicking out the reader.

When you add some more, please let me know. I am interested in how you will decide to finish. Thanks for sharing this much...

Connie
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Old Man  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello T J De Wahl,

I found your story in a newsletter and since it was described as emotional, I thought it might be a good one. I was right.

You do an excellent job at describing the old man. He came to life for me. I could picture him sitting, staring blindly at the photograph, and fingering the loved necklace.

I was glad for the kindness of a stranger, it made the story so much more adding a personal touch we hope is in all of us. Love is universal and has many degrees.

Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Brooch  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good Morning Asherman,

I thoroughly enjoyed this short story which shows how little we know about people no matter how much time we spend with them. Julia trusted her mother and had no idea how manipulative she had been.

When you mentioned the cedar box, it made me think of mine. Cedar hope chest (Lane for mine) companies used to give these little boxes to graduating senior, trying to drum up business I suppose. I keep treasures in mine, too, treasures from long ago.

You left us wondering exactly what happened to Ramon, and it might make a good follow-up story. Being a mother, I understand some of Julia's mom's concern. Sometimes it is hard to know the right thing to do.

I like your story and I like the questions it raises. Thank you for sharing this.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good Morning Don Two,

I like a poem to tell me a story and you get an A+! Your trip to Bermuda was not in the stars. You relentlessly try to "thwart" the inevitable, but in the end destiny takes over.

My favorite picture was the "fire-drill for the forlorn". I imagined the assembly line moving luggage from the taxi to the van...just like a fireman's bucket line.

I read your poem aloud, and it flowed smoothly, rhymes were good, you used some alliteration, lots of metaphors, and as I said before, just a great little excerpt from life.

Thanks for sharing and please write some more....

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Webwitch,

I always look forward to your weekly newsletters for a good laugh and found this gem listed below your last weekly offering.

I could see your mom's delight when she hit those slot machines. If she had any, she lost all fear and timidity. Maybe I need to visit Reno.

I'm glad you found her and she returned to her normal self, but I am sure she will never forget all that emotional joy.

Great story and thanks for sharing....

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Food For Thought  
Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Scarlett,

I always read your blog when I see it so I thought I would stop by and read a story. This is a good one, and I certainly did not anticipate the ending. I love to be surprised. I kept picturing Pauline finally becoming the slender person of her desires. I thought the continued use of the "tears" line concreted my version of the end, but they changed into tears for a different reason. You did a great job with that.

I expect many readers can identify with the clean your plate command. I know I can. Happily, it did not affect me quite as harshly as it did Pauline. Like Pauline, though, lots of us tend to listen to the bad things said about us and ignore the good.

I thoroughly enjoyed your story and will return to read more. Thanks for sharing....

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Pen  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Calvin,

This was hilarious. My goodness, I hope I never find one of those pens! My sarcasm usually is silent *Blush*! But I have to say you have excellent penmanship! *Laugh*

Great imagination on this story. Thanks for sharing it. *Smile*

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of OUR IMAGE  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Old Warrior,

I found your article on the random read and will attempt to give you an honest critique.

At first, I found myself in full agreement with your image of Americans, but as I realized you were lumping everyone together, my personal experiences told me this was not true. I am an optimist and prefer to hold your image in the minority. As recent examples, look at the outpouring of love to the people of Newtown and Sandy Hook. Yes, perhaps we do place too high a value on material things, but we still have honor, faith, and sacrifice. Balance is what is important, and when it matters, goodness prevails.

I totally agree we must practice what we preach and would hope that all Americans are not judged by the few.

Your article is well-written without any obvious errors in spelling or grammar. It is apparent you did a good job by the "prickle" it caused *Smile*. Please keep writing, provoking thought and discussion.

Thanks for sharing,
Connie
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Review by Happy May 2024!
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Wren,

I stumbled onto your blog this morning, read the last two entries (I thoroughly enjoyed the mother/daughter exchange), and was moved to visit your port and read a story.

This is a good one. I thought you were talking to me (and I, to you). You have a terrific story-telling technique, as though you are right here with me.

Your visualizations are so real, the vegetables seem like a chorus preparing to sing out their hearts. Who needs Bill when so many other wonderful things are around?

I loved this story, as you can tell. I will be reading some more.

Thanks for sharing,
Connie
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