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1,485 Public Reviews Given
1,578 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look for a good hook at the beginning and like stories that "hit the ground running". Good plots with a theme, strong characters with an emotional impact, moving dialogue, sensory descriptions, clear communication and words with a purpose are strong points of a good story.
I'm good at...
knowing a good story when I read one. I like to read as much as I like to write, maybe more. I will let you know when a sentence just does not make sense to me, and I will try to give you my opinion on how to make it better.
Favorite Genres
biographical, family, drama, mystery, comedy, nature, young adult
Least Favorite Genres
sci-fi, erotica, fantasy, mythology
Favorite Item Types
short stories, essays, fiction & non-fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
novels
I will not review...
novels...sorry, no time
Public Reviews
Previous ... 12 13 14 15 -16- 17 18 19 20 21 ... Next
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376
Review of The Domino Effect  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

Hi Lisa...What a tangled web!...Whew!

Purpose - The purpose of this story seemed to be 'trust nobody'.

Theme - This looks like 'man vs. man'.

Conflict - The conflict begins (and continues to snowball) when Gina makes her discovery. Unbeknownst to her, Angela, her 'friend', has inside information.

Pace - You kept my interest from beginning to end with an even pace, inserting exposition in strategic points when necessary...good job *Thumbsup*.

Showing vs telling - Your showing skills came through in your dialogue, and the reporter scene outside the law offices was another good touch.

The five senses - Although you did not use many of the senses, your plotline made up for it.

Characters - Your characters shined through their dialogue...good job with this too *Thumbsup*.

Dialogue (& tags) - Very natural, good tags where necessary, nothing confusing here.

Adverbs - Not a problem.

Word repetition - The only word repetition I noticed was "said" but I really do not see any reason for changes.

Suggestion for improvement - Just a spell check...

Overall, this was a great short story which I thoroughly enjoyed.

By all means, keep writing and sharing.

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Review of NOAH'S ARC  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The following review is only my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. It is my hope you find it helpful in some way.

Your title is witty and gives me a good idea of what is to come but you "sew it up" with your last stanza..*Thumbsup*

The flow and rhythm of your poem was good, some lines absolutely perfect.

Your poem's tone goes from a journalistic approach to a problematic showing and finally to one of rejoicing...good range of emotion.

Your choice of words enhanced the visual aspect and the flow.

Your imagery created pictures in my mind. I especially liked the crocs and fish swimming down the roadside...*Smile*

Overall, a well-written and pleasant sounding poem.

Please keep writing and sharing....

Connie

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378
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Earl,

I found your Blogging Challenge while reading "More Snow Melt"  which seems sort of appropriate...*Smile*. I like your layout. It is straightforward and the instructions are clear. Your prizes are generous, but I, like many others I'm sure, are entering for the anticipated fun of it. For me, one of the obstacles of writing in my blog everyday is finding that special something to write about. You are offering to supply that impetus, and I am eagerly awaiting that first prompt. Thanks for thinking of such a great challenge, and I wish "happy writing" to everyone.

Connie
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379
Review of Motherhood  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

Hi Sarah Rae,

I found this story while browsing through your blog and after reading it, I couldn't leave without saying a word or two.

You have visually painted a dramatic image of a dog-tired mom. You made me think of myself many moons ago and I'm sure everyone who reads this, who is a mom, has the very same reaction I did.

You took me through such a realistic series of events, I felt I was your character. When we are young, we hear people say there are thousands of other moms going through the same thing you are. Now I know that was true, thanks to your sharing you story.

Wonderfully written and appreciatively read....

Connie *Delight*
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380
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

The purpose of your story seems to be similar to the movie "The Bucket List". People who know the immediacy of death lose their fear of living. Dan Turner goes to doctor after doctor seeking the answer he desires but in the end realizes he hasn't much time left. Then the risky things in life seem not so risky after all. Apparently, Dan is a young man who feels he has been cheated of a normal lifespan.

This line...All of the other doctors he had seen had cleverly evaded this fragile statement, but now this doctor was shoving it in his face....was especially good at showing vs. telling.

The dialogue seemed natural, and the pace of the story was even, with your paragraphs of exposition interspersed throughout, continuing to propel your plot forward.

You use several adverbs that could be replaced by action verbs. For example, in your first paragraph, instead of he asked the oncologist desperately, you could say...he pleaded with the oncologist. In this phrase, and though all of the other results had been positive, the word "of" is not necessary.

Overall, this was an interesting story.

By all means, keep writing and sharing.

Happy to be writing...
Connie

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381
Review of Sparks  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

Hello Little Glass Fingers,

This was a tragic love story with a happy ending and told in a very unique way. You use unusual active verbs and adverbs to make your writing style stand out from others. It keeps your reader engaged throughout even though the story is a simplistic one.

Your story flowed chronologically and was easy to follow. Your setup pulled me in. I knew lighting up a pile of firecrackers was not going to turn out well. You employ some foreshadowing...the irresponsibly short wick. And I liked your ending...yes, time does seem to stand still when you are in love.

I did have one question...is it actually cold in Chicago the day after July 4th?

Your characters, especially Reese, came alive for me, mainly due to your very original descriptive passages.

My only suggestion for improvement: In this line - “Here, try mine,” he comforted, his eyes fixed expectantly on the young girl’s set. - does set mean appearance or attitude? I was unfamiliar with this terminology.

Overall, an interesting story told in a refreshing new way.

By all means, keep writing and sharing.

*Smile* Connie

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Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

I liked this beautiful and uplifting story. Katie Lynn is lucky to have such a wise and loving mother. And a price can never be put on good friends

Your story flowed chronologically with just enough exposition to keep this reader interested. Lucky that Katie Lynn had an interested teacher, too.

Your storyline climaxed at the destruction of the modem, and even though that worked out rather easily, you kept me reading after its repair. You gave just enough attention to the modem mishap to make me wonder "what next".

Overall, a most enjoyable story with an ongoing happy ending. Thanks for sharing and...

By all means, keep writing.

*Smile* Connie

Red Sunset
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383
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

Hi Shannon,

I got several chuckles from reading this story. I loved he's like ten pounds o'taters in a five-pound sack, and Rebel thinks he's the biggest toad in the puddle. Your descriptions of the tricks they played create vivid images in my mind of the pranks. Even though it should have seemed far-fetched, Junior's surprise when the bullies started turning up dead was completely believable.

I thought the title aptly fit the story, entirely suitable but giving nothing away.

The story flowed seamlessly with each new event increasing the feeling that something terrible was going to happen. Great foreshadowing. Once Junior told the story of what had happened to Uriah and how the townsfolk blamed everything bad on him, I knew things were not going to turn out well.

This line there's somethin' about hangin' with Uriah that makes ya do things ya ain't never even thought of before. Bad things. set the conflict and the theme of the story.

The climax came when the dead bodies started turning up which concluded with Junior's arrest for the murders. I loved that he was holed up in the crowbar motel (you might want to capitalize that). The fact that he told the cops about Uriah makes the reader wonder if he really existed. I think this adds a lot to the story and strengthens the reader's sympathy for Junior. You painted the bullies in such a bad light that I was even sympathic to Uriah. Great job.

This story was extremely well told. I found no confusing or redundant areas. Visualization was so well done, I could have been watching a movie.

By all means, keep writing and sharing.

Red Sunset
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384
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

Hi Carlton607,

I read this yesterday but was laughing too hard to write a review *Laugh*. Your title was perfect...blame it on Rachel! You told your story as though someone was reading the minutes of the "meeting", much embellished with comments, song, and jokes. I could actually see those tiny bedbugs having a wonderful time, singing their fight song, gossiping with each other, attending their particular workshops, and the awards passed out to the keynote speakers were ingenious.

Not only did you make your reader laugh, you informed him of the insidiousness of the dreaded bedbug and almost made us want one...not.

Please keep writing these hilarious stories...and I will keep reading!

With sore sides from laughing,
Connie

Red Sunset
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385
Review of Harry's Prairie  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

And the headline in the newspaper the next day read..."Local Farmer Attacked by Distraught Botonist"

I like this interesting and informative story. You tell it in a way in which the reader learns something without really knowing it...the best way. My tummy lurched when Harry yelled, "Oh my God!"

Harry and Katie came alive for me with their normal sounding dialogue and concerns. Harry's description of the different plantings gave me a great visual image. And poor Fred, leaning on his hoe, thinking he had really helped out his neighbor. You last line was the real clincher!

By all means, keep writing and sharing.

*Smile* Connie

moon over ocean at night
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386
Review of Cultural Exchange  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

I normally don't "get" sci-fi but this one is perfectly clear and hilarious as well. It's hard to tell who got the worst end of the deal...*Confused*.

Your story flowed perfectly...no stumbles at all.

Your characters had me glued to the "screen".

Your storyline was laid out well, amazing for 300 words.

Your ending seemed perfect, too.

My only suggestion for improvement....keep writing!

moon over ocean at night

Red Sunset
387
387
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

I liked your opening paragraph. It was a good hook, well-written and set an interesting visual scene. At first I thought perhaps your protagonist was meeting a realtor but after reading on, I realized he was not describing a house at all, but rather a person. A person who had seemed to be one thing but upon closer inspection was something else altogether. Good use of metaphor.

Your story flowed chronologically and I found no areas where I stumbled.

Your characters could have been any two people, friends at first, but after getting to know one another, realizing they shared nothing in common, their outlooks and values at odds with each other. Luckily for him, knowledge was gained and he was able to make the right decision for himself.

This appears to be a vignette, a close inspection of two opposing personalities, rather than a short story.

Overall, a thoughtful, interesting read.

By all means, keep writing and sharing.

moon over ocean at night

Red Sunset
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388
Review of City by the Sea  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1669717 Unavailable **

*Star*The following is a review for your entry in my "Invalid Item"  contest. It is my opinion and should be read with that in mind. It is my hope it will be of some help to you. Thank you for your entry.*Smile*

I enjoyed reading this freestyle poem of new found hope and optimism. You paint a lovely visual image of a city sheltered by a surrounding sea, and that shelter and safety gives cause for optimism. Since you have used very little punctuation, and I tend to read poetry aloud, the rhythm was jerky until I got the meaning of the words correct. I suggest using commas or periods for pauses and ends of sentences.

Please continue writing and sharing.

Connie
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Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1669717 Unavailable **

*Star*The following is a review for your entry in my "Invalid Item"  contest. It is my opinion and should be read with that in mind. It is my hope it will be of some help to you. Thank you for your entry.*Smile*

This is a heartfelt freestyle poem, a tribute to a steadfast Dad, one who has never let adversity overcome him. You try to show his soul by writing about outward actions and you have done a good job. You paint a visual image of a man who continues on no matter what happens to him. Thanks for sharing this insight.

Please continue writing and sharing.

Connie
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390
Review of The reef  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
** Image ID #1669717 Unavailable **

*Star*The following is a review for your entry in my "Invalid Item"  contest. It is my opinion and should be read with that in mind. It is my hope it will be of some help to you. Thank you for your entry.*Smile*

This is a well-written account of an exchange student trip to Australia as part of a marine science program. You have described your experiences vividly creating National Geographic-like images in the reader's mind. Your enthusiasm is richly communicated through your narrative and you share many of your personal experiences with the reader.


Please continue writing and sharing.

Connie
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391
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1669717 Unavailable **

*Star*The following is a review for your entry in my "Invalid Item"  contest. It is my opinion and should be read with that in mind. It is my hope it will be of some help to you. Thank you for your entry.*Smile*

This is a cute little story in a format I'm not familiar with but I certainly got the gist of it. Your pirate dialect is interesting but as I read it aloud, it sounded legitimate and somewhat real to me (not really knowing any pirates personally, mind you). I liked your ending...the poor guy, new to his "hook" took out his eye while wiping off the bird splat. Yuck.

Please continue writing and sharing.

Connie
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392
Review of The Fortuneteller  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1669717 Unavailable **

*Star*The following is a review for your entry in my "Invalid Item"  contest. It is my opinion and should be read with that in mind. It is my hope it will be of some help to you. Thank you for your entry.*Smile*

I'm very sorry but I did not "get" the message this poem was trying to give. It seems to be telling the story of a clever, mesmerizing squid or octopus who captures passersby and yet they keep coming back. How do they keep coming back if they qre captured? I did like the rhythm and rhyme of the poem. Is the word "lone" in the sixth line supposed to be "loan". Lone does not make any sense to me.

Your imagery is good and with more clarity, the poem has a lot of potential.

Please continue writing and sharing.

Connie
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393
Review of Crossing  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1669717 Unavailable **

*Star*The following is a review for your entry in my "Invalid Item"  contest. It is my opinion and should be read with that in mind. It is my hope it will be of some help to you. Thank you for your entry.*Smile*

I thoroughly enjoyed this short prose story about an Englishman(?) waiting on shore with his wool, waiting for his counterpart to come and trade (smuggle) him for Franch brandy. It is in the dark of night and he hears the oars before he sees the flickering lantern on the bow. Then he hears the keel scraping the pebbles near the shoreline. I heard the bottles as he loaded them in his wooden cart. What a delightful, vivid image you have given me. I can imagine so much more to this story. You have even caught the tongue's lilt. I could smell the salt air and imagine the dank of the night.

Please continue writing and sharing.

Connie
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394
Review of Little People  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

I liked the way you tell this story about the "character" of a person in a powerful position and how he abuses that power. We hope that people like this do not exist but unfortunately they do.

Your story flowed chronologically and was easy to follow. You made Hank seem so real he actually scared me.

Your plot, Hank's overwhelming need for control, was well thought out, shown and described.

Your resolution, Hank's triumph over the "little people", was not a happy ending but an all too often realistic one.

Overall, a well-written, thought provoking story.

By all means, keep writing and sharing.

*Smile* Connie

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Review of Old Muddy River  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

I liked this short story of a personal experience. It is times like these that remain in our memory just waiting to be told.
Your story flowed easily. I liked the way you lead into your personal experience, giving a little history of the river, and the tragic death of another boy. It made your experience more significant.
Your characters, although not physically described except by age difference, were easily imagined. I especially liked your vivid description of your sister pulling off your swim cap, then pulling your hair, perversely propelling you downward.
Your plot, enhanced by the holes and swift unseen currents, told of your battle not to be drowned by the river.
Your plight was happily resolved when you were saved.
I had a similar experience when I was young, but in the ocean, so I can relate to your story. It never made me afraid of the ocean, either.
Overall, a very enjoyable read.
By all means, keep writing and sharing.

*Smile* Connie

** Image ID #1533819 Unavailable **
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Review of The Offering  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The following review is only my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. It is my hope you find it helpful in some way.

Your title was very enigmatic, keeping your poetic message a secret until read.

The flow of your poem smoothly rolled off my tongue when verbalized.

Your poem's tone conveyed both sadness and happiness.

Your choice of words explained the photo yet had a special meaning of their own.

Your imagery created by words enhanced the photographic image.

Overall, a delightful septolet.
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397
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1669717 Unavailable **

*Star*The following is a review for your entry in my "Invalid Item"  contest. It is my opinion and should be read with that in mind. It is my hope it will be of some help to you. Thank you for your entry.*Smile*

Hi Angelo,

I enjoyed this tale and the photo so appropriate to the prompt. You tell of a seaman with a love so deep for his wife that he is willing to give up his way of life for that love, but ironically, he is lost at sea on his final voyage.

You tell a tender story of their last day together before he sails away, forever. With little action until the end, the story is more about Catherine and Abel's love for each other and how great a loss that is to be for Catherine and her new baby.

Thanks for an enjoyable read and a nicely told story.

Please continue writing and sharing.

Connie
398
398
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1669717 Unavailable **

*Star*The following is a review for your entry in my "Invalid Item"  contest. It is my opinion and should be read with that in mind. It is my hope it will be of some help to you. Thank you for your entry.*Smile*

Hi Jim,

You tell a very interesting story in this poem, a story with a warning and a message we all need to pay attention to, a story about speaking without thought and about acting in haste. Your character lives to try to be a better person, to get another chance at happiness. I like happy endings, and I like the way you use commas and periods to enhance the rhythm of your poem. Your rhyme and imagery are very good also.

Thank you for an enjoyable read.

Please continue writing and sharing.

Connie
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Review of Neptune Rises  
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1669717 Unavailable **

*Star*The following is a review for your entry in my "Invalid Item"  contest. It is my opinion and should be read with that in mind. It is my hope it will be of some help to you. Thank you for your entry.*Smile*

Hi Fyn,

Thanks for this interesting entry about a hurricane caused by Neptune to put all the money-grubbing oil drillers of the sea in their place (at least this is my interpretation).

I especially like the last stanza comparing the drilling of the wells to puncturing Neptune's soul, the oil to Neptune's blood...great imagery.

As always, you have provided wonderful poetry.

Please continue writing and sharing.

Connie
400
400
Review by Happy Mom's...
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*Please accept the following as an intended helpful review.....*Smile*

I liked the way you told this sad but most likely true story.

Your story flowed easily with no hitches.

Your character, Sparrow, seemed real and easily imagined to this reader.

Your plotline, the pros and cons (pardon the pun) of Sparrow's freedom dilemma, is a current question facing many prisoners, I'm certain.

Your resolution, Sparrow's decision, unconsciously, to sway the judge's decision to keep him in prison made perfect sense for Sparrow.

Overall, an interesting read in the way the story was told, although not a new topic.

By all means, keep writing and sharing.

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