|Thanks for sending your story my way - I appreciate you thinking of my name when looking for reviews.
What I liked:
This story has a clear hook and plot progression. It explicitly draws inspiration from Cinderella as well as stories about noblewomen escaping from arranged marriages. While Zea is the protagonist of the story and her offscreen stepmother Helena is named the villain, in the text, it is Luna who really shines. It is she who at substantial personal risk frees her sister. With Helena sleeping, she is given the opportunity to show her love for her sister and her dislike for the women imprisoning her, represented by Aunt Surdia. The interaction among the three is the strongest part of the story: the reader can feel Luna's love, Surdia's spite, and Lea's gratitude. It's a straightforward story, but relatable and enjoyable.
What might be improved:
The plot has no real twists or surprises. It is mostly explained by the narrator in the second paragraph. Some back story is likely required, but the old adage applies here, "Show, don't tell." You would probably better off describing Zea, and then easing into her predicament through a description. Instead, you address the reader directly, asking how they would feel if imprisoned within the storeroom of a castle that ought to be home.
Additionally, I would be cautious of minor grammatical errors and awkward word choices. Attempts at flowery language often backfire, and this might be a good example:
"It is true that everyone, indeed, possesses a heart to be kind. However, it blossoms when one owns a conscience to question oneself."
Although I can guess what this means, it's not very clearly stated. One alternative, which might or might not capture your sentiment:
"It is true that everyone indeed possesses a heart capable of kindness. However, this kindness is easily choked by pride, or a failure to question whether a soul is doing what is right."
It's also not usually recommended for the narrator to address the reader directly: "How do you feel when you are forced to live in a store room in the castle, although you own the entire castle?— incredibly stupid, right?"
But if choose to, you might ask "How would you feel" rather than "How do you feel." Nor do I think such a circumstance would make the reader feel stupid. Instead, it would make them feel indignant or wronged.
There are a few other awkward phrases below, but most of those are grammatically correct. In writing a short story, extra care should be given to the opening and ending lines, as these can make or break or break the tone of the piece. Unfortunately, these are not your strongest. This is a common failing, and mostly a result of insufficient editing. Plan to rewrite your opening and ending, and you should be able to deliver a much stronger story.
Overall, I liked the story, but I think some work is required to help it meet its potential. Thanks for sending it my way, and good luck in your future writing!