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1,115 Public Reviews Given
1,116 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Versatile: I'm good at reviewing different types of writing in different ways. Honest: While I do my best to be honest and encouraging in reviews, I don't omit things. If I tell you I like something about a piece, you can trust that I'm not just saying it. All-Inclusive/Well-Rounded: I look for the good and bad in writing. I'll give you an overall opinion as well as the highlights and what needs worked on.
I'm good at...
Giving feedback within set parameters. If you're looking to receive opinions on something specific, let me know and that's what I'll focus on when giving a review.
Favorite Genres
Horror - all time favorite. Science Fiction and Fantasy are tied in a close second.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance. (Exceptions: Dark erotica intrigues me if it's, you know, dark.) I will happily read and review romance pieces, but I might be a little tougher on it than on other genres.
Favorite Item Types
Static Book/Collections.
Least Favorite Item Types
N/A
I will not review...
N/A I'll review anything. If for some reason you don't think I'll want to, feel free to email me with your concerns before submitting a request.
Public Reviews
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376
376
Review of The Carousel Ride  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Merry Mumsy ,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Emotional Aspect:

I really enjoyed how you were able to tie something as cheerful as a carousel to something that was as emotionally deep as losing a loved one. You were also able to convey those feelings very briefly and effectively.

There was a section that I particularly enjoyed:

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Premise:

The one thing that didn't work for me about this piece was that the overall concept seemed a little unlikely. It seems like your narrator went through a lot of work to have this experience, and there was one line in there that made it sound like it wasn't particularly worth it:



EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


So sum this all, aside from the one nitpicky little thing, I thought it was very good. You did a great job tying deeper meaning into the prompt response, and as a story it reads very well. I hope that this was at least a little helpful, and that I get to review some more of your stuff in the future.

All the best,

Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
377
377
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello ~WhoMe???~

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Premise:

I just think that this is such a sweet sentiment, to write poetry for (and obviously inspired by) little animal friends. It's very endearing and it immediately put a smile on my face.

The poem itself was nice as well. It wasn't very long, but it didn't really have to be. The length and style I think went a long way to reflect the fleeting moments you get to see your killdeer friends while honoring the appreciation you have for them. It's always nice when the style of a poem so perfectly reflects the content.

In particular, I liked the following excerpt:

Excerpt ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



I really don't have any suggestions on how to make this better. I think that it's already very good, and has achieved everything you wanted (at least, as far as I can tell.)







*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap this up I would say that this is a cute poem written with a cute purpose. I hope that I get to read more similar poetry from you soon, because I really enjoyed seeing something like this on the site.

All the best,
Cat



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
378
378
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello ♥Hooves♥ ,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .

As someone who likes reading about cats and the second world war, this was an obvious selection for me the second I saw it on your portfolio, and I knew I would have to read it. I'm so glad that I did.

So, let's move onto the review:


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Concept:

Without a doubt one of my all time favorite things in literature is the depiction of terrible things from the point of view of someone too innocent to understand. This usually pertains to children, but in this case it applies to Othello.

You touched on some iconic and horrible truths about what was going on during that period of history, all the while creating a character that the audience cared for and genuinely wanted to see make it to the end.




*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



I honestly wouldn't suggest that you change anything. In an abstract sense I think a little more subtlety would have been nice, but I really don't think you could have found a better balance of incorporating real historical events into a work of fiction without really skewing the perspective of the narrator.

This really was a fantastic piece, and I can't imagine it being much better than it is right now.

*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap this up, I loved the piece. It fit in well to a lot of my interests (which of course didn't hurt) but you tackled a difficult subject very well and that's always something I can appreciate. I can see why you've called this your best piece because it's incredibly well done.

All the best,
Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
379
379
Review of Olc and Maitheas  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fhionnuisce ,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .

I am very glad to be representing my House in this review, and am glad that the event has led me to your portfolio, which I've found to be quite intriguing so far. I really enjoyed this piece specifically, which of course is the topic of this review.

So, let's get down to the reviewing portion:


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Premise:

What I think really drew me to this piece was how you took something as seemingly innocent as capturing fireflies and turned it into something so chilling. I know that this is a piece I'm going to be thinking about for awhile, and the idea was brilliantly executed.

Showing cruelty in children is always something that's creepy when done well, and tying it to an event that I'm sure a ton of people can very innocently relate to makes it hit home all the harder.

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Expansion:


I think that you've done an excellent job. I wish I could do flash-fiction this well to be honest, and overall I was really impressed. The overall idea was very strong and you captured that in a very short amount of time.

One thing though, is that there are a lot of questions that didn't get covered because the piece is so short, and the characters really are interesting enough that I'd like to read more about them. If you ever find the time to revisit this idea and expand on the characters some, I hope you'll shoot me an email to let me know so that I can read them.




*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


In summary, I thought it was a great piece. Though I would love to know more about the characters, their relationship to one another, and the setting, the strong premise and chilling implications made this an enjoyable read.

I hope that you'll continue writing great pieces like this, and that I get the chance to review some more of your work in the future.

All the best,

-Cat



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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
380
380
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer ,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .



*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Individual Lines:

I'm going to be completely honest, I didn't follow this one very well at all. There were however still a couple lines that really stood out and that I really enjoyed.


EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Confusion:


My biggest issue with this one was that I didn't really follow it. At the beginning I thought maybe that's how it was supposed to be (because the description left me with hope that if I kept reading eventually things would get explained) but the more I read the more confused I seemed to get.

Maybe that was just me not following very well, but it's something you should still probably be aware of.






*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap this up, this has probably been my least favorite so far in terms of premise and delivery, because I'm still not sure that I followed it completely. There were however still aspects that I liked, such as specific lines and the overall tone/feel of the piece. You have a style that is very pleasing to me, even at times when I don't understand.

I hope you continue to put out wonderfully stylized pieces such as this.

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
381
381
Review of A Leaf Not Fallen  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Tone:

In this poem you've given the impression of a timeless piece by using a lot of expressions that reference time in sort of a strange way:

EXAMPLE ▼

This combined with your writing style made for a very unique piece with a very open feel that definitely sets this apart from your other poems (at least the ones I've read.)


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Run-on Sentences:

I have always been of the opinion that grammar should take a backseat to style in creative writing (especially in poetry) so this is normally something I wouldn't mention. There were a couple sentences in here however that went on to the point I'm not entirely sure that they made sense:



EXAMPLE ▼




*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap this up, I think there are some great ideas and some great atmosphere to this piece and it could be really, really strong if you went back to clear some stuff up and restructure some sentences. Of course, those are just my opinions and I hope they don't discourage you in anyway, because I'm loving what I'm seeing on your portfolio.

All the best,

-Cat



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
382
382
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer ,



This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .

Hopefully you're not too tired of receiving reviews from me because even though I said I was done for the day, I have returned to do some more reviews anyway. So, here we go:


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Honesty:

What I liked best about this piece that despite the sarcastic nature of it, it seems to come from a brutally honest and perhaps even bitter sort of place. That makes it ring very true with the reader (at least it did with me) and that's always something that I can appreciate in writing, particularly in poetry.

I particularly liked the following line:

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Confusion:

The one thing that I would consider doing is clarifying where exactly you as the writer of the poem are coming from. The title of the poem suggests that the entire thing is sarcastic (and there are obviously one or two lines that are in fact, very sarcastic) but some of it seems like it's meant to be taken more seriously. It can be a little confusing to the reader, and it's something that you might want to address.




*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap this up I enjoyed the poem quite a bit. It had a great concept, some great lines, and it conveyed some very honest feelings in a dishonest way. Keep up the excellent writing!

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
383
383
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer ,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .

This is probably going to be the last anniversary review I give you, so you can be free of me spamming you on behalf of my house very shortly *Laugh*.


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Strong Ending:

You've got a lot of really strong opening lines, but so far I think this piece has had the strongest end out of any of the poems I've read from you so far.

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* The Second Line:

I really did not like the second line of this poem:



EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


I really liked this poem. I think I'm going to be done spamming you with reviews for today, but I just want to let you know I've had a really good time reading through your work. This has been a great way to start off a very stressful event and I'm glad that you had the first anniversary, because I have really enjoyed going through your work.

Hopefully you weren't too bothered by my flood of reviews and you didn't find them too tedious. You've got some amazing talent and I hope that I get to review some more in the future.

All the best,

-Cat



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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
384
384
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Title:

This seems like a small thing, but it really can make a huge difference. The title grabs attention and it really helps hold the audience's attention. In the back of my mind even as I was reading through the poem I was trying to relate it back to the title and it went a long way to tie the whole experience together for me.


Of course, the ideas presented in the poem were probably interesting enough that I would have kept reading anyway (and as always, your word choice was impeccable) but there's something about a good title that can really make or a break a poem. Perhaps because that's the first impression given of the piece?

Regardless of why, I liked your choice. It was sort of an abstract title for some philosophical pondering, and it worked very well.


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Convoluted Message:


The one thing that struck me as a little off-putting was that there seemed to be a small lack of continuity between the tone of the poem and the message. The tone conveys that there's a singular line of thought you have about how people should act, but the poem itself doesn't make that very clear.


EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap it up, I thought it was a good poem, I was just a little unclear on your intent in writing it. Still, it read well and I'm looking forward to seeing some more of your work.

All the best,

Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
385
385
Review of Flipping Off Cars  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Phrasing:

I'm sure you can gather that I'm very impressed with your use of words. Overall that's without a doubt what I like best about your poetry in general because there are always so many lines that are just absolutely incredible.

You've really outdone yourself this time however. That whole first stanza was amazing. The things you were saying were great, the way you said them was great, and even the meter and structure were way above par, you did a great job.

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Last Stanza:

Really the only issue I had with this was the last stanza of the piece. Again, it wasn't that it was bad or anything, but in my opinion it didn't really contribute anything to my enjoyment or understanding of the piece, so I'm not sure it was worth the straying from the previous formatting, which up until that point was relatively consistent.

Anyway, of course, that's just my opinion. Here are the lines I'm referring to if you'd like to look them over:



EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To sum things up, I liked this one a lot up until the end. I think the piece might have been stronger without those last few lines, but it was strong enough up until that point that I was still incredibly impressed with what you managed to accomplish in this poem.

Really, truly, you've done a fantastic job. I'm looking forward to reading more pieces for your anniversary.

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
386
386
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer ,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Structure:

My favorite thing about this poem (at least, in relation to the other things I've read from you) is the structure that you open with. I've noticed that you seem to lean toward free verse poetry (which isn't a bad thing by any means) but it was nice to see a little bit more structured/patterned poem from you.

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Formatting:

The downside of having the beginning be more structured was that it was a lot more noticeable when you started to stray from that structure in the second half of your poem. Although I like the second half very much (both in content and structure) I think it might have been better if you had stuck to the same sort of formatting all the way through. It would have read a little more consistently and it would have been more visually appealing (which of course isn't everything, but it does help with the initial impressions of a piece.)




*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


I did enjoy the piece. The premise and wording were up to the high standard I've come to expect from you, and it showed that you can (for awhile anyway) stick to a more traditional poetry structure. It has gotten me all the more intrigued about the way you decide to format things and eager to see what other sorts of poetic forms you use.

Kind regards,

Cat



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
387
387
Review of Last Man Standing  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Conceptually Sound:

This was definitely one of your more vague pieces. I think that the concept was neat (at least, assuming that I'm taking away the right things from it) and as always I like how you've taken the ideas behind the piece and put them to paper (okay, screen in this case) in such a unique and poetic fashion.

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Vague:


I did mention this before, I thought the piece was a bit vague. I think up to a certain point vague poetry is good, but when a poem is written specifically for something or someone it might be good to elaborate just a little. That way the audience knows they're getting the right mental pictures, and taking away the message that you, the writer, intended.



*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."



To sum things up, I thought that it was an enjoyable poem, though I would perhaps have liked it to be a tiny bit more clear and focus a bit more on the specific occasion/people that inspired it. Still, it was a good read and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your portfolio.

All the best,
Cat


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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
388
388
Review of The Straphangers  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Reflection of Best Line:

I'm always talking about how you have a couple really exceptional lines that really stick out in your pieces. This poem was no exception. There was one line I really liked that I took note of right away while I was reading, but what I liked best was that you came back to that line and tied it all together, drawing further emphasis the best part.

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Paragraph Breaks:

The one thing that I might suggest for this one (and it's not a big deal one way or the other) would be to add a couple paragraph breaks in here to turn this from one long stanza into a few shorter ones. I just think that might help draw emphasis to some of your stronger sentiments and I think it would bring a little more attention to some of the truly excellent lines you have here (such as the ones I mentioned up above.)

Again, not a big deal, just something to consider *Smile*


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap this up, I liked the cyclical nature of the poem combined with excellent writing. Your work continues to impress me, and I'm glad that I get to be reading so much of it for the GoT event this year.

All the best,
Cat


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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
389
389
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Meter:

I thought this poem flowed exceptionally well. I actually went back and read it out loud when I was done with it just to see if it sounded as good that way as it did in my head, and the meter really holds up.

That really surprised me. I'm not used to enjoying the meter so much in free verse poetry, but you've done a really exceptional job.

My favorite example of this is your opening:

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Lack of Emotional Impact:

This isn't a huge complaint, but I do think it's worth noting that this poem didn't have strong emotional ties in comparison to the other things I've read from you. Of course not all of your poems need to be super emotional, but it's something I know you're really good at, and it's something I missed seeing in this one.


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


Overall I thought the poem was great. It had a nice flow, your word choice (as always) was excellent, and you did a good job getting the idea out concisely. Although it didn't have a strong emotional impact, it did get me thinking and I did enjoy it quite a bit.

I'm looking forward to reading some more of your work.

-Cat


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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
390
390
Review of Lincoln Penny  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Concept:

I liked a lot of the ideas you had in this one, and I thought the overall concept was pretty interesting. Relating strangers to pennies and tying that all into chance was a very entertaining idea, and it's one that definitely got me thinking.

I particularly liked the following line:

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Stretched Metaphor:


The one thing that I didn't really like about this piece was that the metaphor seemed like a bit of a stretch. It's neat in concept, but I felt like the execution was a little flawed. Instead of tying back to the idea of people being pennies, most of the poem talks about other life questions, and to really connect anything to the overall idea that you open with the reader has to connect a lot of the dots themselves.

I don't mind that you've brought other elements into the piece (in fact I like that quite a bit) but I think it would work a little better if you spent a little more time establishing the premise of the metaphor before moving onto other thing. (That also might make the ending seem a bit stronger as well.)


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."



To wrap this up, I think it's a very neat idea that could use a little work and perhaps be expanded upon a little. I'd be really interested to see if you ever revisit this concept and extend it a bit.

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
391
391
Review of Canadian Traffic  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Surprising Emotional Narrative:

What I liked about this was how surprisingly emotional it was. I suppose if I had read the description before reading the piece (which I probably should have done -oops) I wouldn't have been as surprised as I was when I got to the end of this.

The title and the opening stanza both sort of lured me into a false sense of security, which made the darker undertones of the piece all the more effective. The poem is called "Canadian Traffic" and although you've done a great job tying that into the story, it's obviously not just about traffic.

Here's one of the lines I particularly enjoyed:

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Opening Stanza:

The one thing that did make the piece feel a little slow to me initially was the setting description in the opening stanza. On the one hand I understand where it's coming from - setting up the atmosphere is very important because it strengthens the emotional impact (which I already mentioned.)

On the other hand, it's a little alienating. That is some very specific Canadian imagery and as someone who has never been to Canada, I couldn't relate to those things at all, and it made it a little difficult for me to get the vivid imagery I feel like you were probably going for.

It's not a huge deal, but I thought you should be aware that's how it's being read by some of your audience.




*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap this up, I thought it was pretty great, even if the beginning was a little hard for me to picture. It was paced well and offered a very serene view of death in a very emotional way. You did an excellent job.

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
392
392
Review of Shake The Skin  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer ,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Powerful:

What I enjoyed most about this piece was it's powerful and concise nature. I haven't thought any of your poems are too long, but having this short one really showcases how much emotion you can evoke from the reader in such a short time. That's a talent not a lot of poets have and I have to admit, I was pretty impressed.

I particularly enjoyed the following line:


EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* The Last Line:


From what I've read from you so far, this is my favorite piece. The only suggestion I would make would be to consider taking out the last line.


EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


In conclusion, I was very taken with this. It's been my favorite of your pieces so far (though hopefully I'll be reading a lot more of your work during this event and will be able to find other gems like this.)

It was short, but very powerful and a truly effective piece of poetry. I'm looking forward to reading more by you very shortly.

All the best,
-Cat



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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
393
393
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .

The wolves in the North wish you the best of luck on this special day. *Wolf2*


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Phrasing:

I've been commenting a lot on the unique way that you phrase things in your poetry, but it really does contribute to my enjoyment of the poems - and in this piece your word choice was nothing short of genius. There was one line in particular that I had to actually stop and re-read because I was so taken with set-up and delivery:

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Capitalization:


I apologize in advance for the vague nature of this suggestion, but I don't know the ins and outs of poetry as well as you do, so I'm not sure exactly what would be correct. (In fact, from a technical standpoint the poem might already be correct, in which case I'm sorry.)

Some of the opening letters aren't capitalized. I think the only ones that are capitals are the ones that start a new sentence (which I know would be correct in prose) but due to the nature of the formatting it looks a little erratic and strange. Again, I'm not sure, it might be totally correct, I just thought it might be worth mentioning since it did catch my eye.

In any case, it didn't take away from my enjoyment of the poem one way or the other.


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap this up, I'm not sure about the technical aspect of the poem, but I know that the word choice was once again exquisite.

-Cat


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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
394
394
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | N/A (Unratable.)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Emotional Impact:

One thing that I'm learning very quickly about your work is that you're very good at working emotion into your pieces. It's something that I really appreciate in my poetry and it's something you're obviously very skilled in. Your word choice here fit the tone of the piece very well.

I particularly liked the phrasing in the third stanza:

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Notes:

Sorry to bring this up again (and I promise, I'll quit eventually) but one thing that I know I would really enjoy would be to see some notes about how you come up with the structure for your poems. The way you write is very unique and especially in this piece, the format contributes a lot to the piece. I'd love to have a note (or a link to a note even) about what inspires your format.

Other than that bit of curiosity nagging at me again, I thought this was great.






*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To sum this all up, I think that this was another very strong piece. Aside from wanting a little more insight into your creative process, I really don't think there's anything you could do to strengthen this - you've done a really good job. Your style and voice work very well with the formatting you're using, and yet again you've done a great job conveying your feelings to the audience.

Looking forward to reading more of your work for your Anniversary Bash!

-Cat


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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
395
395
Review by Cat Voleur
Rated: E | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Message:

I think the message I walked away with after reading this poem was pretty great, and even though it's more about your experiences and the way you've learned to deal with things, you have a very inspirational attitude toward life


*Paw* Tone/Style:

What I liked best about this poem was the way it's written. You have a very unique voice that worked really well with the messages being conveyed. My favorite line from the piece was the following:

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."




I actually don't have any suggestions for this one. It read very well. There was enough there to give a sense of the ideas you wanted to get across, but it was vague enough to allow the reader to project some of their own societal issues and take away what they would, which makes for a very versatile sort of poetic narrative.

I honestly wouldn't suggestion changing anything, and I think the awardicon adorning the poem was well earned *BigSmile*


*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


In conclusion I thought it was a great piece. I'm looking forward to reading more from you here very shortly!

-Cat


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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
396
396
Review of Nobody's Son  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello Fivesixer ,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones" .


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."



*Paw* Emotional Impact:

I liked that this read very emotionally. It had a good narrative, it gave the reader insight into your life, and while I was reading it I felt like I really got to know you a little bit better. It seems to come from a very personal and very honest place, and it's always good when poetry (especially non-fiction poetry) can evoke that sort of strong response.

I particularly liked the following line:

EXAMPLE ▼


*Wolf* DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw* Add A Note About Poetic Form:

One thing that I really enjoyed about this piece was that the formatting/structure was very unique. As far as I'm aware it didn't follow any specific poetic form or structure. I understand that most free verse poetry doesn't really require any sort of annotation about what sort of techniques are being implemented, but because of how unique the form is I'd be really interested to know how you decide to structure your poems.

I think it would be really cool if you either made a note about this at the bottom of the piece, or perhaps made some kind of static item or blog entry discussing your creative process (and how it pertains to your poetry structures) and then linked it at the bottom of unique poems like this, so your audience could read a little more about it.






*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."


To wrap this up, I liked the poem very much. You did a good job telling a story, conveying emotions, and you have a very unique and memorable style. I'm looking forward to reading more of your poetry.

-Cat



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
397
397
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello!

I found this in the review request thread and thought I'd drop by to read it and leave some quick comments to see if I could answer your questions or help at all.

The flow, for the most part is pretty good - but the narrative itself is a little choppy. There's not a lot of insight into this person's life past little glimpses and I was left with different impressions at different points - which seemed a little strange consider the short length of the piece. I think the themes got a little jumbled.

The emotional impact from the end was solid, though I think it's possible to make it a bit stronger by rearranging certain aspects of the piece. Slipping a line to tie the rain metaphor in earlier in the piece and then having it come up a second time will make it tie together a bit more and hit home stronger the second time around. I also think that if at all possible you should try to end with the line about it not raining, at least not on the outside. That's the strongest line of the piece in my opinion, and would make the strongest end.

Of course, this is all just opinion. If you'd like to discuss any of the points I made or if you have any questions/comments for me about something I've said, feel free to email me. I'm always happy to discuss reviews or items.

All the best,

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
398
398
Review of Battle of Wits  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello,

This was a very interesting poem. I'm not sure I followed it completely or that I was drawing the right conclusions from what you had written - but at the very least it was thought-provoking.

It is a little confusing, but I think that might be in it's favor, since it seems to be a poem about not quite grasping things and then it evokes those same emotions from the audience. It's not normally the sort of thing I would enjoy, but it was very interesting and as I mentioned before, it really got me thinking.

I'd be interested to see some more of your work and see what the rest of your poetry is like sometime. If you'd like me to elaborate on anything or discuss any of my comments - feel free to email me.

-Cat


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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
399
399
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________



Hey Wolfbane,

I'm finally catching up to all the wonderful things you've posted in your port. I just read through this one and was very pleasantly surprised. To be honest I wasn't sure what to expect because between it being free verse and one of your earlier pieces of work I felt like it might be different - but it was still great.

Although I don't think it read quite as well overall as some of your more recent and more structured pieces (just in terms of word flow, meter, presentation, etc.) it was a great read. I think the fact that it was a free-verse poem really allowed you to express the core ideas and it felt very natural - not at all forced.

The imagery was (as always) very vivid and I liked the scene described in the piece. It's very thought evoking. I hope to read more amazing finds like this from you in the near future!

-Cat


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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
400
400
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)

______________________________________________________________________


*Wolf2* DISCLAIMER *Wolf2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




*Wolf*A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:*Wolf*
"Dark wings, dark words, me mother used to say, but when the birds fly silent, seems to me that’s even darker."



Hello w0lfbane ,

Since you said you didn't mind being my test subject I'm going to go ahead and try out my Stark template on you before the event begins so I can see what it looks like in action and make any necessary adjustments (though of course I took out the event specific items since, you know, they don't apply here.)

I just finished reading your item "Black Wolf, and the Gentle Giant"  and I think it's well on it's way to being an amazing children's story. I wish it had been around when I was a kid, since this was exactly the sort of thing I liked reading about.

Let's get right in:


*Wolf*THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:*Wolf*
"Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north."


*Paw*Story:

This has a distinct beginning, middle and end - which is very good to have in children's stories. It was short but it told a complete story that had a clear conflict and a believable resolution. It was a very satisfying ending that tied things up pleasantly.

EXAMPLE ▼


*Paw*Relate-able Feelings :

Although your characters are not human, they experience very human emotions that I think children would be able to relate to very easily and they were portrayed both vividly and accurately.

EXAMPLE ▼



*Wolf* THE POINTY END:SUGGESTIONS: *Wolf*
"Nothing burns like the cold."



*Paw*Basic Editing:

Like with any draft there were some typos, misspelled words, continuity issues, strange phrasings, etc. I know you well enough to know that you can go back through a couple times and find them, but if you'd like my help or a second pair of eyes for editing - you know all you have to do is ask.



*Paw*Corn Fed Jim:

I would revisit this character and maybe rename him. The other names "Black Wolf" and "The Gentle Giant" are a lot more descriptive. They tell us about those characters, what they are, a little of what they look like, and give us an idea of who they are right off the bat. "Corn Fed Jim" is a little more vague - which seems a little strange in context with the others. He's also the only character that's not described as thoroughly and doesn't have a section describing what he's doing or thinking.


*Paw*Explanations:

I think it would be a little more enjoyable if we knew a little more about the characters. That always makes the audience care more and is an easy way to make the story instantly more memorable. I have two ideas on where and how some more information could be slipped in.


1. Exposition/Introductions ▼

2. Questions ▼




*Wolf*WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:*Wolf*
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."



That's about it.

I really enjoyed the story, and I'm looking forward to seeing any future edits or additions you decide to make on it. You have no idea how much I respect your dedication to learning about story-crafting in addition to your natural gift talent for poetry - and I hope that this review was able to give you at least a little bit of valuable insight. Thank you so much again for offering up your portfolio for me to test my Stark template on - I know that this was useful for me at the very least and it's always a pleasure to read through and comment on your wonderful ideas.

If you'd like me to revisit this or discuss any of the points I made, elaborate on anything, help edit, you're always welcome to talk to me. I love hearing from you and am always eager to help in any way that I can.

All the best,

Princess Cat of House Stark


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