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Review Requests: OFF
1,115 Public Reviews Given
1,116 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Versatile: I'm good at reviewing different types of writing in different ways. Honest: While I do my best to be honest and encouraging in reviews, I don't omit things. If I tell you I like something about a piece, you can trust that I'm not just saying it. All-Inclusive/Well-Rounded: I look for the good and bad in writing. I'll give you an overall opinion as well as the highlights and what needs worked on.
I'm good at...
Giving feedback within set parameters. If you're looking to receive opinions on something specific, let me know and that's what I'll focus on when giving a review.
Favorite Genres
Horror - all time favorite. Science Fiction and Fantasy are tied in a close second.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance. (Exceptions: Dark erotica intrigues me if it's, you know, dark.) I will happily read and review romance pieces, but I might be a little tougher on it than on other genres.
Favorite Item Types
Static Book/Collections.
Least Favorite Item Types
N/A
I will not review...
N/A I'll review anything. If for some reason you don't think I'll want to, feel free to email me with your concerns before submitting a request.
Public Reviews
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276
276
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I found this in the review request thread and thought that I would offer my opinions, just in case there's any way my insight would be helpful.

I think a story about crushed dreams has a ton of potential, and I can see in the beginning of this that you have a lot of natural writing talent, so you can probably pull it off.

I do however, also have a few suggestions for the beginning.

The tone, style, throughout the prologue is very inconsistent. As a reader I'm much more lenient with prologues not fitting the style of the rest of the book, but I think picking a tone and sticking with it until the end of the prologue would be a good idea. It starts as a personal opinion and then edges into an objective, almost omniscient perspective for awhile before switching back abruptly into the narrative, which was a little jarring.

My other suggestion is that you try to show that the narrator has grown some, and show a little more of their character. The reason I say this is that, because of the focus being on Amanda, she is much more sympathetic at this point than the narrator, who seems very cold and callus despite being the one introducing her struggles. I feel like I'm much more likely to be invested in a story if I care about whoever is telling it.

Since this is an introduction, it would also be a good idea to explain why the narrator is telling this story. They seem to like Amanda or sympathize with her, but yet they're taking the time to write this all out. It would be a good idea to let them introduce themselves and explain why this is important enough to them to talk about it. It will not only make the reader more intrigued about the personality of the narrator, but it will show them a little better where the story is going and why they should be invested.

Anyway, I hope that this helped. I think you've got an interesting idea with a lot of promise, and I hope that this review had some of the feedback that you were looking for to help make that happen. I wish you all the best with this, and other writing projects that you may have.

Sincerely,



-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
277
277
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I found this in the review request thread and thought that I would come give a review.

I really loved this one *Heart*

I don't know a lot about poetry, but the premise really spoke to me and you conveyed loneliness is such a lovely, poetic way. The flow was great and the imagery was just great.

I think my favorite part of the piece was its emotional resonance. Emotion is probably the aspect of poetry that I find to be the most important (at least in the poems I read, and I'll admit, that's somewhat limited) and it's something that you conveyed really well here. I definitely sympathize with the narrator and, to an extent, can relate to that feeling of isolation.

Thank you so much for sharing this piece. You did a wonderful job with it, and I'd be happy to read more of your poetry at any time. I hope that this was somewhat helpful, although I don't know what kind of feedback you were looking for specifically. I wish you the best of luck with this and any other writing endeavors.

Sincerely,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
278
278
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I found this in the review request thread, but you didn't mention if you were looking for feedback on any specific aspect of the story. Since you said all comments were welcome, I figured that I would drop in and try my hand at being helpful, even though I don't know a lot about westerns.

My first thought is that it seems interesting, and wastes no time getting to the action (which seems to be a staple of the genre, from what little I know.) I liked that the excerpt was short and gripping all the way through - the only downside of this is that it is just an excerpt, at this length, I have no idea what's happening in the story or even what the book might be about (past the genre, obviously.)

That being said, I think you should keep writing the book because it probably has a lot of potential, and you obviously have a knack for the language.

I also have a few quick formatting, editing tips if you're interested in those:

One Mans Revenge


Should probably be:

One Man's Revenge


This indicates that it's the revenge of one man. (And actually there are a few other instances in the piece where a possessive has been turned into a plural)

“Seems I underestimated you Richmond.”


Should have a comma in it:

“Seems I underestimated you, Richmond.”


This indicates that the speaker is addressing the person, in this instance Richmond. (There are a couple instances of this as well.)

And finally, indenting. Traditionally the beginnings of paragraphs should be indented, or since this is being hosted online, lines of space between each paragraph are equally acceptable - but it makes it just a little bit easier for the readers.

I hope that this advice was helpful in polishing up this great piece, and I wish you all the best in continuing work on your story.

All the best,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
279
279
Review of The Gift  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I found this in the review request thread and even though I often feel out of my depth when reviewing poetry, I thought that I would drop by and read the poem and see if I could offer anything constructive.

Overall I really enjoyed the piece. It conveys a beautiful sentiment, it flows well, the first and last stanza mirror each other nicely and overall it's just what I consider to be a good poem.

There was one little section (just a couple lines) where the grammar struck me as off, but not being as proficient a poet I thought the best thing to do would be to bring it to your attention, just to see if I'm wrong.

Your gifts to me all massive,
That's never left my sight


This couplet just struck me as a little awkward - but everything else was perfect!

I hope that this has been at least somewhat helpful and that putting this in the request thread has been earning you lots of good feedback. I had a good time reading your poem, and I wish you all the best with this and any other writing endeavors.

Sincerely,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
280
280
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hey Angus,

Thank you so much for putting this into the review request thread. I am trying to finish up my reviews before midnight and this gem just....wow.

You never cease to surprise or amaze me. This is far from the scariest piece I've read by you, but it was definitely the most surprising.

I got the musical reference right away, and after the first punch that Leslie took I was convinced that the whole thing was just leading up to a lyric-based pun, and that this was one of those times when a piece was intended to shock a laugh out of the reader. This went above and beyond in that regard in that despite almost seeing the punchline I was still more than shocked, and I wasn't really laughing at the end. I was highly amused, a little sad, and completely blindsided by how invested I had gotten in such a short period of time.

You sir, are the master of misdirection. Even though all the signs were there, it was still a surprising resolution that I applaud you for.

I also love how you played with the font size to illustrate your character's inflection - I could hear his voice in my head and it made for a very visually appealing piece.

Great job on this one, and as always, I'm looking forward to getting to read more of your work.

All the best,

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
281
281
Review of Immortal Tear  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I thought this was very good. It was concise, well-worded, and the end was just ambiguous enough to allow itself to be interpreted by the audience, which is the sort of thing that I really appreciate in my science fiction.

The only suggestion that I would really have for you, is to consider extending the piece a bit. At its current length it's very powerful for concise fiction, but I think that if you fleshed it out a little and slowed down the pacing, it overall might have had a slower impact because there would have been a little bit more time to bond with the protagonist before he receives his gift (and a few more glimpses into the world that he has colonized would be really cool to see.)

At its current length however, like I said, it was quite enjoyable. It's an entertaining, quick read that makes the reader think at the end, and a story with all of those things (especially in the genre of science fiction) is incredibly rare. You've done an awesome job with this and I hope to read some more of your work in the future.

All the best,



-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
282
282
Review of Mediocre  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello,

I found this in the review request forum and thought that I would drop in to leave my thoughts.

I like that you took some really dark feelings and thoughts and were able to make something like this that was constructive and poetic. That's always something that I really appreciate seeing. I don't know how autobiographical the piece is (if it all) but reads very honestly and that really adds to its power.

There were a couple things that I think could have used a bit of editing and reformatting, but overall it reads pretty smoothly. If this is a rough draft (or still being edited in any way) I think that you're headed in the right direction because the emotion is definitely there - and I think that's the most important aspect of a piece like this.

I hope that writing the piece has helped you set out what you intended while writing it, and that you continue to write new pieces.

All the best,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
283
283
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello,

This chapter was a good installation, and I liked that it differed from the others in that Branston seemed far less in control of the situation for the duration of it.

The normal things that I say about these chapters apply here - I like the pace that the plot is moving along at, I like that there are hints of what it coming up in the future, and it achieves most of what a chapter should. The one area that I still feel is really lacking is character development and emotional ties. It's getting increasingly hard as the story progresses to remember the names of new characters or distinguish their dialogue from one another.

On a related note I feel like the motivation in the characters who are being newly introduced is confused. I get the feeling that they're supposed to be antagonists even though, for the most part, they're on the same side in the grand scheme of things. Likewise, I feel that there are instances where you want them to come across as particularly nasty/unlikeable, but have petered out on the follow through. A good instance of this would be the scene where Branston is told to drink from the river - which I could see the potential behind even though it read as confused.

I feel like Branston should have been smart enough to see why this would be amusing, or proud enough not to try in any case. If he was thirsty enough to try, I can see why he would ignore the jesting, but I feel like he gave up on that idea very quickly. The men's laughter after he is given the water at the end seems a bit over the top for the situation, and everyone's motivation comes across as a little questionable.

My last general tip for you (and it's mostly something to be taken care of in the second draft) would be to watch out for things like sentence fragments and make sure you're punctuating things properly. It's stuff that I usually don't catch in my own work until editing, but it never hurts to get in the habit as early as possible.

Other than the usual character and edit things that I always talk about, I think you're doing really well. I talked about them over a little bit because there was a scene that I thought really illustrated the importance of character development/motivation, but they're all things that we have talked about before.

I am glad to see that you're still working on this and that you seem to be putting out new chapters at a good rate. Since you seem to be taking my advice and working on finishing this draft with a strong focus on plot and structure, I'd say you're doing a really good job making progress on the overall project.

All the best,






-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
284
284
Review of NOT ENOUGH  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello Angus ,

I was looking for one more item to review to hit my review goal this week, and I saw that you had just edited something in your portfolio. I'll admit, at first I was a little disappointed when it wasn't a horror story, but since I am occasionally capable of reading things that aren't horror fiction, I decided that I would come read it anyway.

So here it my review for your item "NOT ENOUGH" 

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:



Well, in summary, I liked the whole thing. (You may have noticed I entirely did away with my suggestions section, actually.)


This was incredibly optimistic and it made for a heart-warming and inspiring little piece. Although I think that it got to be a little too idealistic (particularly in regards to the advice at the end) I think that the world does need a little bit of idealism sometimes as well, and I'm glad that the people who read this can learn from your example.

It's actually a topic that I've been thinking of quite a bit myself lately, and that's something that has been in no small part inspired by the political climate in America right now. That's actually something else that I really enjoyed your piece for the record, you mentioned that a big part of the division came from the election but you didn't turn this into a political rant. I, in turn, will do my best to return that courtesy and just tell you that I thought it was a classy move not to make this about political parties or a corrupt two-party system that, while fine in concept, encourages the division of its people. Times have been pretty bleak, and there are branches of my family that aren't talking right now over these sorts of things - so seeing someone else encouraging people to make the future into something better was really nice to see.

This is a topic that I feel I lack the political grace (and maturity) to tackle, but I'm so glad to see that someone else did - and did it so well.

This talked about the rough things, but it did so without taking too strong of a stance, and I think that made it more powerful. It was written in a way that is more likely to unite people - and what's better to unite people than music?

Thank you for writing this and for sharing it with the Writing.Com community. While it's not as entertaining as your scary stuff, it did make my day a little brighter and gave me just a little bit more hope for humanity as a species.

All the best,






-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
285
285
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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*Spider* DISCLAIMER *Spider*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Bat2*          ALL ALONE :: INTRODUCTION           *Bat1*

"From even the greatest horrors, irony is seldom absent." - H.P. Lovecraft


Hello willwilcox ,

I got really excited when I saw your item "Mightier Than The Pen"  in the most recent Horror/Scary newsletter because it gave me an excuse to read some more of your work, which is something that I always enjoy doing. I hope you don't mind me dropping in with another review for you, because here it comes:





*Bat2*           IN THE DARK :: WHAT I LIKED           *Bat1*
"Terror is the desire to save yourself, but horror is rooted in sympathy." -Joe Hill


*Bats* Opening Line:

I normally try to save my favorite lines for the end of the "what I liked" section, but since it was where the piece opened, it seemed like a good starting place for my review as well.

I thought your opening line was beautiful:

The sky purged itself of an entire ocean.



^^ Not only was this a powerful first line that set the tone for the entire piece, but it was also incredibly poetic. It's probably one of the best opening lines to a piece that I've ever read on here.

It's also worth mentioning that I liked the last line for many of the same reasons (and for tying the whole story together brilliantly) but am not including it for anyone in the public review forum wanting to avoid spoilers.


*Bats* Cameron:

I think this is the horror story for horror writers, and I think Cameron is the reason. He represents a part of all horror writers, a desperate, insecure, demented part of us. He's like if you could embody all the worst parts of a horror writer and push him past the point of reason. And because we can recognize those elements (as distorted as they may have become) we can disagree with his actions, we can dislike him for them, but we are still more inclined to sympathize with what he's going through - and more likely to be scared for him in spite of everything else.

Because of your protagonist being what he was, and because he was written brilliantly, this story works on a lot of levels, and it's something that I really, really appreciated while reading.

*Bat2*          SOUND OF SCREAMING :: MY SUGGESTIONS:           *Bat1*
"Horror is the removal of masks." - Robert Bloch


I really don't have any suggestions for you. I thought this was a fantastic piece, and I wouldn't make any changes to it at all.




*Bat2*           WAKING FROM A NIGHTMARE :: CONCLUSION           *Bat1*
"We make up horrors to help us deal with the real ones." - Stephen King



To wrap this up, I loved your story. I always have enjoyed reading your work, but out of the things I've read I think this one takes the cake. It was well paced, it was vivid, it was creepy, and it left me questioning just the right amount. I like that I had to think about it, and I know that this is one that's going to stick with me.

Thanks so much for sharing this one with the site, and I hope that I get to read some more of your work in the near future. As always, it's something that I have immensely enjoyed.

Sincerely

-Cat

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
286
286
Review of The Medium  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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*Spider* DISCLAIMER *Spider*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Bat2*          ALL ALONE :: INTRODUCTION           *Bat1*

"From even the greatest horrors, irony is seldom absent." - H.P. Lovecraft


Hello ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams ,

Wow!

I saw your item "The Medium"  featured in the most recent Horror/Scary newsletter and came to have a look, but it looks like this is far from it's first feature. Congratulations on all the well-deserved attention for this story.

While it seems that you have no shortage of reviewers for this item, I figured I would leave you with my thoughts on the piece as well since I read and enjoyed it. I hope that you don't mind the unsolicited review.

So let's get to it:





*Bat2*           IN THE DARK :: WHAT I LIKED           *Bat1*
"Terror is the desire to save yourself, but horror is rooted in sympathy." -Joe Hill


*Bats* Concept:

While I tend to dislike stories about vampires, stories about spiritual vampires are something else. They're a more realistic concept, especially when someone has done their research and has the spiritual knowledge to back up their ideas *Smile*

I thought that the idea of this ovoid feeding off of spiritual energy was chilling and well executed. It made for an interesting read that I'm sure is going to stick with me for some time.

*Bats* Perspective Shift:

I liked that the story seemed to alternate between a second person perspective and a detached sort of third person. At first it was a little jarring, but the more I read the more effective of a method I think it became. The two elements of the story act both to warn the readers of the threats to their own spiritual health while telling a chilling tale of one individual more informed who still became a victim to these creatures.

*Bat2*          SOUND OF SCREAMING :: MY SUGGESTIONS:           *Bat1*
"Horror is the removal of masks." - Robert Bloch


*Bats* Annotations


The only suggestion that I really have for you is a minor formatting thing to consider, but it boils down to being a matter of personal preference. As a reader, I like to see any features publications at the bottom of the item as opposed to at the top. That way I get the chance to form my own opinions about the piece first thing. I think that's especially when there are true when there are as many features/credits as there are for this piece - I felt like I had to really scroll down to get to the actual story.

Plus, I definitely think that I would have appreciated all of those things more if I had read the story first - because this piece really did deserve each and every one of them.



*Bat2*           WAKING FROM A NIGHTMARE :: CONCLUSION           *Bat1*
"We make up horrors to help us deal with the real ones." - Stephen King


To wrap this up, I thought this was a great piece. It started a little slow, but it picked up fairly quickly and was well worth it for this interesting piece of horror fiction.

I hope that I get to read some more of your work in the future, and in the meantime I wish you all the best on all your future writing endeavors.

Sincerely,


-Cat

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
287
287
Review of Shutterbug  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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*Spider* DISCLAIMER *Spider*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Bat2*          ALL ALONE :: INTRODUCTION           *Bat1*

"From even the greatest horrors, irony is seldom absent." - H.P. Lovecraft


Hello Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk ,

I'm here to review your item "Shutterbug"  which was included in the most recent horror newsletter! I can definitely see why it was chosen, and I hope that you don't mind me stopping by with my thoughts.





*Bat2*           IN THE DARK :: WHAT I LIKED           *Bat1*
"Terror is the desire to save yourself, but horror is rooted in sympathy." -Joe Hill


*Bats* Detail:

I like that you didn't shy away from the gore. I probably like gore a little bit more than the average person, perhaps even a bit more than the average horror fan, but I think that the level of visual detail went well with this story because the camera definitely adds a visual theme to the piece, and good descriptions of the visuals aid that along.


*Bats* Cause:

I like that Stanley sees himself as the cause of these events - and that this conclusion was gotten to quickly. In a lot of prophetic picture type stories it takes a lot of second guessing, experimentation, and reflection from a character to get to what should be the obvious conclusion. This was sped up and although I'm not sure it's quite as realistic to human nature (we're a very introspective and uncertain species) I think that it made for a much more interesting read that was paced well.


*Bat2*          SOUND OF SCREAMING :: MY SUGGESTIONS:           *Bat1*
"Horror is the removal of masks." - Robert Bloch


I really don't have any suggestions for you for this piece. I can say that I would like to see it extended (and I have to admit I'd be curious to see how the end changes Stanley as a person) but I think it was self-sufficient and incredibly well written as a stand alone piece. It doesn't need anything to be a great story, it already is one.




*Bat2*           WAKING FROM A NIGHTMARE :: CONCLUSION           *Bat1*
"We make up horrors to help us deal with the real ones." - Stephen King


To wrap this review up in a neat little bow, I enjoyed the piece.

All of the individual elements, the strained character dynamics, the vivid imagery, the dark concept, the annoyed dialogue - they all went together seamlessly to give an interesting little story that I don't think I'll be forgetting any time soon. Although the idea of a camera with a disturbing power is not entirely new - you did something new with the idea. You took it further, made it your own, and I think you did an excellent job with that.

I had so much fun reading this, and as always, I hope that I get to read some more work from you in the future. It has been my pleasure.

Sincerely,


-Cat

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
288
288
Review of A Walking Shadow  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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*Spider* DISCLAIMER *Spider*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Bat2*          ALL ALONE :: INTRODUCTION           *Bat1*

"From even the greatest horrors, irony is seldom absent." - H.P. Lovecraft


Hello Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 ,

Congratulations on having your item "A Walking Shadow"  featured in the most recent horror newsletter! I have been looking for some more horror stuff to review, so I hope you don't mind me dropping by with some comments.

With that out of the way, let's get right in.





*Bat2*           IN THE DARK :: WHAT I LIKED           *Bat1*
"Terror is the desire to save yourself, but horror is rooted in sympathy." -Joe Hill


*Bats* Setting:

What I liked best about the piece was the environment that you were able to build. You dropped us in the action and were able to keep up a steady space, showing the audience the world rather than telling them about it. The elements were harsh, and the "world-encompassing catastrophe" was harsher.

The imagery was vivid, and this is a world that I have a feeling will be sticking in my mind for quite some time.



*Bats* Noah's Dialogue:

Without giving too much away, I really liked Noah's conversation with Enoch. Aside from being important to the plot, it was written with a tone that, while unexpected, makes a perfect kind of sense. It added a sense of realism to the bigger concept of the piece and I think it was incredibly well done.

*Bat2*          SOUND OF SCREAMING :: MY SUGGESTIONS:           *Bat1*
"Horror is the removal of masks." - Robert Bloch


While I normally use this as a suggestions section, I don't really have any suggestions for the piece. I highlighted two of my favorite aspects, but overall the story works as a whole and is enjoyable as is.

There is however one big question that I had. While I don't think it's a problem that there are no answers (in fact, that has kept me wondering about the piece in the days it has taken me to sit down and write this review) I thought I'd share it with you, as it would be an interesting thing to talk about if you ever consider revisiting the story.

What have Enoch's previous interactions with Noah been like?

Since we see this whole experience from his eyes, I think it would be really interesting to see Noah through his eyes as well in less dire contexts. After the end it was something I thought about a lot. I wondered if there were other signs Enoch had missed about the situation, I wondered if he was compelled to like Noah, to trust him, and I wondered how their conversation at the end would have been different if things had gone better. Would Noah have been as open about the world/situation? Would he have been so blunt? Is Noah always like that, or was it just because of circumstance?

Like I said, this isn't really a suggestion, it's just insight into where my mind wandered off to after finishing this piece.



*Bat2*           WAKING FROM A NIGHTMARE :: CONCLUSION           *Bat1*
"We make up horrors to help us deal with the real ones." - Stephen King


To wrap this up, I really liked the story. It was immersive, the concept was fantastic, and the great execution has left me thinking about it a lot, which is what I like stories to do.

I hope that I get to read more of your work sometime in the near future.

Sincerely,


-Cat

*Web1*
*Web2*



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*Web3*
*Web4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
289
289
Review of Wisps - Published  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I actually found this item in the 2016 Writing.com Anthology, and I thought that I would look it up on here. I have been writing to congratulate some of the people who were featured, and this was one of the most fascinating stories so of course I couldn't leave it out. I can see why it was not only included, but chosen as an editor's pick.

What I liked best about this piece was its subtlety. It wasn't so abstract as to be confusing but not everything was spelled out perfectly either, and it left a lot for the reader to think about when they finished reading.

You did a great job showing the character dynamics early on and letting your audience see the personality shifts to give the definite sense of when something goes wrong.

This was a wonderful, well written piece and I'm very glad to have read it. I hope that I get to read some more of your work soon.

In the meantime, I wish you all the best with all your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,



-Cat


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290
290
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I found this piece in the 2016 Writing.Com Anthology and I just wanted to drop in and congratulate you for the feature. I thought it was a beautiful poem and found it to be quite moving. I can see why it made it into the book - and why it was chosen as an editor's pick.

I like poems that tell a story, and in this case, I like that the story is just as much about the things that aren't said as the things that are. It was a sad read, but one that I'm glad to have found.

I hope that I get to read more of your stuff in the future because this was some very fantastic work. In the meantime I wish you all the best with all of your writing endeavors.

Sincerely


-Cat


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291
291
Review of Silent Witness  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I read your poem in the 2016 Writing.Com anthology and I just wanted to look it up on here to give you a quick review and congratulate you for being featured - especially as an Editor's Pick.

I can definitely see how you ended up with this poem in the anthology. It was a beautiful read, eloquent and powerful.

There was one line in particular that I enjoyed:

A silent vigil I will always keep;
a memory that’s immune to fading.


^^ I just thought that was so beautiful.

I'm also really glad that I was able to find the poem here on the site as well because I feel like the annotations helped give some context to the piece, as I had no idea it was written for a contest.

So congratulations on having the poem featured, and on the Quill Award for it (another interesting thing I learned from tracking down the item.) I feel like they are both well deserved and I'm so glad to have read this piece.

All the best,



-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
292
292
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

Thanks for keeping me in the loop about updates to this story and for submitting a formal review request for the chapter.

I liked this one a lot.

I was starting to get a little worried about it about halfway through because even though I was enjoying it, I was starting to think that the chapter setup was getting to be a bit too formulaic. Right as I was starting to feel that way, you ended the chapter in a way that I didn't anticipate and left off at a very good point that was very engaging.

One thing that I would maybe like to see from this point on is a little bit more grit. I like that chapter seven didn't end with the protagonists getting away from conflict cleanly, and now that we're further into the book I think that I would enjoy you staying on this path of making things a little more difficult for your characters and making their safety and the end of each chapter seem less assured.

Other than that, my previous comments all still apply. I'm still swinging back and forth about whether or not I really enjoy Branston as a character, I'd like to see a little more character development, but you're still doing a great job adding new elements and building plot from the existing story.

I wish you all the best in continuing your story and am looking forward to seeing more.


Sincerely,


-Cat


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293
293
Review of Autumn Playground  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello Pat ~ Rejoice always! ,

Let me start by congratulating you on being featured in the NAG showcase this month! I hope that it's going well and that your portfolio is getting all the attention it deserves *Smile* To help you celebrate being featured, I thought I would drop in with a review for your item "Autumn Playground"  which I noticed was in your highlighted section.

I'd also like to note before I begin that I deviated slightly from my normal format of reviewing, since I noticed the author's note up at the top asking for opinions specifically regard to format. Since I didn't have any broad suggestions for the piece anyway (it reads easily and seems quite polished) I turned the category that I normally use for suggestions/critique into a section that outlines my observations about the two formats.

With that stuff out of the way, let's get down to the reviewing part. *BigSmile*

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* Metaphor/Premise

I really just liked the idea of this poem. While there were a lot of little things I liked, I felt like I mostly liked them because they helped pull off the idea of a child preparing for this epic battle in their mind. I think I liked it so much because it did a great job illustrating the power of imagination and the fantastic situations that children envision themselves in.

There was one line in particular that I enjoyed in that regard:

With great ardor I kept watch for the enemy until my loyal followers brought word to me that the soldiers craved nourishment.


I'll admit, at first I wasn't sure about this line at all. The tone sounds very adult, and the extensive vocabulary here I felt detracted from the childish sense of wonderment as it felt almost out of place. The more I thought about it, however, the more powerful I think it is. It sets a good tone for the sort of imaginary world that the child is seeing and it's a good way to take your audience there as well, while also showing that just because the child in the poem is young, they are intelligent.



*Cat2* WHICH FORMAT:


I don't think there's an easy answer about which format to use.

I will be honest, I liked the first format the best. I think it suited the story well, it was easy to read, I thought it flowed well. The truth is though, is that I'm biased to poetic prose - so it's hard to look at them objectively.

I think on the other hand, that if you want this to be read as a poem, that the second format might be more efficient in conveying that. While I liked it better as a short piece of poetic prose - I didn't necessarily associate it as a poem in the first format, just a piece of beautifully written microfiction. The second format read, looked, and felt more like a poem.




*Cat2* CONCLUSION:


To sum this up, I thought that the poem was great, and I'm glad that I found it during your showcase month. Even though I wasn't able to give you a direct answer about what you were looking for opinions on, I did my best to share some insight and hopefully that can help make an informed decision about which direction you want to take with this and what format works best for you.

Best of luck with your writing, and enjoy being in the NAG showcase. Congratulations again!

Sincerely,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
294
294
Review of Insert title here  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I thought that I would review this - I've been going through the review request thread all day and this is one that I've been seeing around for awhile in the thread and on my dashboard.

I thought it was really interesting. I'm not sure that I got it entirely, but I kind of liked the vague nature in which parts of it (the first few lines in particular) were written. It made for a sort of mysterious tone that I think definitely added something to the piece overall.

There was one line in particular that I really liked:


We have all been lied to
We do not need to know hate
to realize love


I thought that this was a really good message, and it's the one very distinct thing I was able to latch onto throughout the course of the piece.

I hope that this was at least somewhat helpful/encouraging. The poem was quite interesting, and I did enjoy it - so thank you for sharing. I wish you all the best with it, and with your other works.

Sincerely,

-Cat


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295
295
Review of My Tiny Princess  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I saw this in the review request thread and just thought that I would drop by to, well, review it.

This was really touching and I can definitely see why it won the ribbon. I feel really bad that you and your sister are estranged - I know how much something like that can hurt, but I think it's incredible that you were able to turn the pain from that experience into something so beautiful.

This poem obviously has a lot to say, and I think you did a great job portraying the situation and the powerful emotions behind it. I hope that writing this helped sort through some stuff and take the sting out of it, and more than that I hope that one day you and your sister are able to patch things up.

In the meantime, thank you so much for sharing your work here on WdC. It's clear that you have a lot of poetic talent (to an untrained eye like mine at least) and I hope that you keep writing and posting.

Sincerely,



-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
296
296
Review of Fast  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I found this in the review request thread and thought that I would drop in to leave you with my notes.

This was a cute little read - although it did fill me with a strange guilt about all of the flies I have ever swatted at *Laugh*

In all seriousness though, I liked that you wrote this story from a different perspective, and that it maintained a light-hearted, fun tone despite SPOILER WARNING ▼ It was a fun read, and really good for what it was.

I guess it's just because my personal preferences often lead me to darker fiction, but it was actually pretty refreshing to read something that wasn't overly-serious and so I really want to thank you for sharing this. I had a good time reading it.

I hope that this review was, if nothing else, somewhat encouraging if not particularly helpful. I really did enjoy the piece.

Best of luck in obtaining reviews for this, and with any future writing projects you may have.

Sincerely



-Cat


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297
297
Review of Many-Eyed  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________



Hello!

I found this poem in the review request thread and thought that it would be worth dropping by to give it a read, although I am not particularly well-versed in poetry.

Although I wasn't immediately sold on the poetic form, I quickly came to like the poem. The quote at the beginning (thank you by the way, for citing that so well and putting this piece into some context for your audience) really set the tone.

What I liked best about the piece was definitely the eerie, somewhat disturbing imagery.

And now hang with little eye-nooses threaded through
Not unlike their former hosts bodies strung up


^^ Very vivid.

Thank you for sharing your work, and I hope that this was at least somewhat helpful. Best of luck with this and any of your other writing endeavors.

Sincerely,

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
298
298
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________



Hello!

I found this in the review request thread and thought that I would drop in to leave you with my thoughts - though I should be upfront about the fact that I am by no means an expert in poetry.

The poem looks good and overall I feel good about it. I thought that the sentiment was presented nicely.

As for it being jarring, I think that it's pretty smooth up until the end. Your last two couplets seemed to have a different meter than the rest of the lines in the poem. Even though I like the way that those four lines sounded together (and it might have been my favorite part of the poem) it did break up the rhythm when I read the poem out loud.

Anyway, I hope that this was helpful and that you keep writing poetry. Even with the one part that wasn't as smooth (for me, anyway) I think that it was a good read, and I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing your work, and I wish you all the best in all your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,



-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
299
299
Review of Research  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________



Hello!

I saw this in the review request thread and thought that I would stop by to give my thoughts.

Overall I thought that this was an interesting topic for an article, but since you're looking for help grammatically I thought I would point out just a couple quick things that I noticed:

Who's leading and who is lagging


Since this is a question it should end with a question mark.

Whenever​ we look for something innovative we indirectly speaks of research


Small typo here, it should be "we indirectly speak of research."


The other suggestion that I have for you would be to either indent the paragraphs or add lines of space between them. It's something that looks a little more professional and in my experience, it makes it a lot easier to get people to read all the way through and leave feedback.

Although I think the piece, overall, could use a tiny bit of polishing, I also liked it. You chose an interesting topic and went about it from a logical standpoint - which is something I can really appreciate.

I wish you all the best in getting the editing help and feedback you're looking for with this piece.

Sincerely,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
300
300
Review of Colors  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello!

I found this in the review request thread and thought that I would stop by.

I'm glad that there was the note about the meter in the request thread so that I knew a little bit more what I should expect going in, and what you were going for with this poem.

Auras (in my opinion) are a good topic for poetry - and I think you've done really well with that topic here. It was beautiful, it called on a lot of natural imagery, and even though this isn't structured in any traditional poetic form, it reads like a poem.

Thank you for sharing your work - and I wish you the best of luck in getting the sort of feedback you're after, whatever that may be.

All the best,



-Cat


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