Jeffrey Meyer's (centurymeyer35) Reviews

Public Reviews

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#4872321

Review of The Garage Scam  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 14, 2026 at 11:57am

Length:   458 Characters | 418 w/o WritingML

This was a hilarious take on the cluttered garage. I once wrote something about this, but I don't think it was quite as funny as yours. The battle with teh electronic eye was classic. I've brained myself on the garage, skinned my knew, and generally started a deadly feud with the automatic garage door opener. This was a true-to-life bit of humor that was fun to read. --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers'' Group

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#4872312

Review of Time Slips...Either Way  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Given:   Jun 14, 2026 at 9:48am

Length:   1,816 Characters | 1,435 w/o WritingML

Reagana, This is a well thought-out commentary on my old enemy, Time. I am very much a Type-B personality; I want the slower, more introspective life. A lot of us artists are, I think. It's very objective that you presented both of these extremes without judgment or promotion of either. As you stated, each of us probably lies in one of these categories more than the other, and we probably look at "the other side" and wonder what the heck is up with them. But your short essay simply describes the two states as contrasting philosophies, allowing the reader to identify with your points without feeling persecuted. Your summation in the end is all to true. I think it was Jim Morrison that said, "No one here gets out alive." Roger Waters & Co. sang about how "every year is getting shorter/ never seem to find the time." But in the end, Time will find you. Your admonition to us to spend out time wisely, according to our needs and desires, is a welcome message and a very constructive reminder that our lives are our own, to be spent according to our own wills. As long we have the time, at least. This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— WDC Power Reviewers Group Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4872058

Review of The Meaning  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Given:   Jun 12, 2026 at 1:09pm

Length:   6,771 Characters | 6,048 w/o WritingML

HeartPoet, This is quite the outpouring of feeling an perspective. One is almost overwhelmed with its vehemence and surety. But such is the sign of a passionate writer, right?. I'll step through the elements of your writing as they struck me. (If I don't do it this way, I'll be jumping all over the place): Introduction ▶︎ Right out of the gate, we understand your question, which is essential in this essay format. We also quickly have an understanding of your own perspective and are able to prepare to be persuaded to your POV or entrenched more deeply in our own. It's a very effective introduction. ​ Plot/Arc ▶︎ This is more of an essay, and as such has not true plot. However, the presentation of thoughts, feelings, facts, and ideas does form a very clear arc in essays. The arc of your essay is fairly shallow, but reinforced throughout. The basic message is that to be human is to suffer. One might argue that we suffer because we experience joy—whether directly or viariously. Everything exists in degrees of comparison. If all we ever knew was suffering, we would have no basis for a comparison, and it would just be "life." So there is something else to being human than suffering. However, you use some strong examples to argue to the contrary: Good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. I agree with you; this is so much hopeful tripe! The inverse is true so much of the time. Innocent people get mugged and killed and criminals get treated with kid gloves and let out of jail after a month, having learned nothing but that society is loath to punish the guilty. Finding true love is something we all desire; even the most stubborn people those who swear they don't want it deep down, they do. Sociology teaches us this is true. We are a gregarious species, and being alone is not good for us mentally. We often try to cope, as you say, by lying to ourselves that we don't need or desire love. But studies and facts bear your statement out: deep down, they do. ...suffering is personal and unique to each individual... What in interesting perspective. The fingerprint of suffering. Sounds like a rock and roll song. But I can see the validity in it. Everything we do, say, and feel sets us apart as individuals. Why should suffering be any different? And while it may hurt, it tests us. Are we strong enough to rise above the suffering? Are we wise enough to view it objectively? Are we brave enough to confront it and actively seek the joy on the other side (even after having been burned over and over again)? It is up to the individual and part of the individual. As you say, it is unique to each of us. In a nutshell: Life is suffereing; suffering hurts; but the pain makes us who we are as individuals; and we are beautiful as those indivuduals. ​ Mechanics ▶︎ Your mechanics could use a bit of work, I'm afraid. First and foremost, you need paragraph breaks. When one idea or line of thought comes to an end, hit return a couple of times. It not only creates white space whereon the reader can rest his eyes, but it is less intimidating to read. It is also, most importantly, much easier to understand a written piece that is broken into individual thoughts. With regard to the essay style, you have more questions than answers. One might suggest that you pose a question or two and then answer them. Alternatively, consider restating soem of your questions as statments. For example: But why fight it if it's the truth? could be restated as If it's the truth, however, perhaps trying to fight it is futile. Giving the reader statements instead of asking them to provide answers makes the content easier for the reader to accept and digest; a lot of readers don't want to answer 20 questions just to interpret the writer's point. A vastly different idea is to turn this into poetry, where questions are welcome and emotions can be more readily distilled into a few lines through poignant turns of phrase. You didn't do too bad with commas, but some of them still create problems like run-on sentences. For instance: This isn't a social critique, but a reality to be accepted; while many might disagree, I know some will agree. This is two seperate statements. They should be seperated by a period (full stop) or a semicolon. Overall, however, your sentence structures are fine, complex, and interesting. Just one or two hiccups here and there. ​ Conclusion ▶︎ Technically speaking, the conclusion of your piece addresses the opening, thus completing the essay quite well. You address your opening question of what it is to be a human being with the final observation that it is possible only to know what being human means to us as individuals, despite all of us experiencing similar degrees of suffering; we cannot truly know or understand what it means to others. As a reader, I strongly concur. ​ Constructive Comments ▶︎ Finally—and this is opinion—consider using a larger font; I find 14pt is a comfortable reading font on the screen. Small, closely-packed writing is difficult and daunting to read. Paragraph spaces, as mentioned above, and larger text are much more encouraging and inviting to a reader. ​ You pose some tough questions, and demonstrate that you are a deep thinker. The reader is left with the impression that reading more of your work will be interesting and instructive. Good job drawing us into not only this work but many works to come.. At least we hope there are many works to come. We hope, indeed, that you Write On! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— "The Power Reviewers Group"  Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4871861

Review of The Right Direction  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 11, 2026 at 7:00am

Length:   6,971 Characters | 5,620 w/o WritingML

Octothorpe, As always, thank you for trusting me to offer some objective—and some subjective—observations on your story. This was a fun and funny exploration into fate and irony. Sometimes I have felt like poor Sam. One day is perfect, the next day I'm dodging falling pianos! Let me offer some detailed thoughts about The Right Direction: Introduction ▼︎ Sam's first appearance is described with a humor that immediately sets the reader at ease. Sam is just like us. He needs some shoes because his are worn out. Many of us don't buy new shoes until the ones we're wearing are just about see-through. He’d just had enough of his friends teasing him about looking like a bohemian. This was an endearing line, again setting the reader at ease for whatever was to come. ​ Setting ▶︎ The Shoe Store: I imagined Payless Shoes. (I always go for the cheap stuff, although "cheap" is a very relative term these days.) I could smell the rubber and leather and carpet. I was able to envision the kid behind the counter, too. He kind of looked like Dusty in Twister, a little disheveled, overweight and hunched over. The bottle hidden near the cash register came readily to mind, as well. Good job giving a us a solid picture of the first third of the story. Around Town: The settings in the middle of the story were a bit thin. They were obviously there for effect, but there could have been a little more meat on those bones. Maybe some more humor at each near-miss (near-hit?). The End: The irony is thick here, but the scrim is thin. I would have liked a little more solidity to the scene. Not the accident itself, but maybe the time of day, the buildings from which and toward which Sam and his friends were crossing, a more thorough description of his friends' flight from fate. I'm not saying it's bad, just that I think, with your skill and a small bit of editing, it could be better. ​ Characters ▶︎ Sam: Your average guy, just like us readers. It is easy for us to walk in his shoes (his old ones, not the magic ones). His identifiable nature advocates for our willing suspension of disbelief. The Clerk: The ironic action driver. At first he seems like a throwaway character, but when he comes back at the and as the brutal deus ex machina, we are pleasantly(?) surprised. It's just such a good tie-up of the story, a great bookend. ​ Plot/Arc ▶︎ What a plot! "The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side." Sam finds out that being protected from danger comes with its own risks, in a wonderfully ironic way. George Carlin once described irony as a man starving on the side of a mountain being crushed to death by the air-dropped care package sent to sustain him. Here we have something similar in the inverse: To save a man's life, an agent relatively steals that man's life. The arc is perfect. As I mentioned elsewhere, there could be more details here and there, but one thing this story does not suffer from is bloat. Sam is introduced to the shoes, accepts the shoes, wears the shoes, has a negative experience with the shoes, removes the shoes, gets splatted. It's a direct and logical step-through, easy to follow, and accessible through its somehow believeable absurdity and humor. ​ Mechanics ▶︎ You know me and my penchant for mechanics (my horrible typing notwithstanding). I was treated to nice clean copy with this story. While I'm not an Oxford-trained editor, still nothing jumped out at me. Tense agreement was good, commas lived where they were supposed to live (homeless and squatter commas bug me). Plurality was all in its places. Your organization was very good; paragraph breaks where they belonged, seperation of ideas and dialog clearly placed. It's a pleasure to read something that is easy to read. That sounds odd, but if I have to try to parse and/or decipher something, the read is much less enjoyable and becomes more of an exercise. This was just fun. ​ Conclusion ▶︎ The end was just too good. It tied everything in a nice tight bow. Every strand of the story came together with the new owner of the shoes boxing it up with a pretty (ugly?) bow. Conclusions can be difficult. Where to stop? What's really the last thing I'm trying to say here? In my opinion, you landed the plane flawlessly. ​ Constructive Comments ▶︎ The only constructive comment I would offer is to make your font bigger, say 14pt. It's just easier to read on the screen, especially for readers with poorer eyesight, like me. It's a small thing, but I think it's important in the greater scheme. ​ This exploration into the extremes of chance and irony, as mentioned, is both humorous and a bit thought-provoking. Which of us hasn't had, at some point, a lucky charm? Do we become slaves to it? Cast it away? Get hit by the aforementioned falling piano? Fun to think about, isn't it? I know I'll be thinking about this story as I walk down the street today, cautiously looking up to see what's coming.. Write On! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— "The Power Reviewers Group"  Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4871198

Review of Vampire Whales  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Given:   Jun 6, 2026 at 6:42am

Length:   4,939 Characters | 4,519 w/o WritingML

Wow. When I saw you chose this title, I was baffled. How is anyone going to write a story about vampire whales, for crying out loud? But you did not disappoint. This story is wonderfully complete. The characters are believable and well rounded. Jacob's job makes total sense, given his background with his father and their special morning ritual. Even Jena, though only briefly explored, has the right characteristics: the boots and the stained sweater are the gear of a workingwoman, a field technician, not a just another paper-pusher. “On whales?” another researcher snapped. “That’s impossible.” Just this casual interaction lent a realism to the scene. Scientists are some prickly pears, man! I was immediately intrigued by the subject too. Despite the selection of the title, cetology is simply not a common theme for a story. I was drawn in at once to see where this almost niche subject would go. Good job on using the subject as a hook, not just the characters or dialog. Your settings were great, wonderfully descriptive. I was able to really see the listening post, its technical gadgetry snaking all over the place, its monitors all showing specialized data only Jacob and his ilk could truly understand. The only thing I wonder is if there is a window looking out over the ocean. It's not mentioned, and my mind kept flickering it there and not there, there and not there. That's just the reader's head, I know. Still, I wonder about that tiny insignificant detail. I've been to the white sands of Clearwater Beach. I have to agree, it's best at dawn before it is becomes virtually un-navigable with sandcrawling sunbathers and beachgoers. Not my scene. But it's gorgeous in the early morning. Never saw any whales, but I can imagine how wonderful such a spectacle would be at such a wonderful time of the morning. And the intimacy which always accompanies dawn (to me, anyway) is made stronger by the bond between father and son as they share these moments. The meeting room of the scientists is not described much, but hey—it's a meeting room. We've all been in one. You know what's weird, though? The meeting room in my head was the meeting room from the second season of Stranger Things. No idea why; but it worked, because the scientists were all in disagreement there, too.   The story itself was chilling. Vampire squid that spread their parasitic tendencies to the whales they grabbed? Yeah, I'm not going swimming any time soon. (Of course, I'd drown first, before the squid or the whales got me, but that's not the point...) One presumes that the red color of the squid implies it lives on the blood of the whales. Nice, subtle touch. I have to wonder what the quid gets from "turning" the whales, though. What does that provide the squid from an evolutionary standpoint? Could it simply be a side effect, a "spreading" of the squid's own poison? Could it be a madness caused by a parasitic infection of its own in the squid? Sentient malevolence, as the squid's behavior toward the glider would almost imply? I had a problem with the ending, I'm afraid. I just wasn't sure what to infer from it. One is led to understand the Clearwater whales were also vampiric, or trying to dodge the vampiric squid. The fact that their pattern occurred specifically at dawn, however, and related in some way to the horizon did not match the Northern Drift whales; so why was it important to Jacob's memory? I definitely understand that realization was dawning on him that there was something unnervingly unusual about his childhood whales; I'm just not sure what the significance is here. Nonetheless, it's a great cliffhanger of an ending. What next? What does this mean globally? Can this happen to people? Is shipping and tourism in danger? I love stories where the reader is left with questions; it stimulates the creative mind to generate answers and ongoing stories of its own. Overall, this was a fantastic story, my friend, with characters, settings, and scenarios that are believable and accessible. This was a pleasure to read, and I have no doubt I'll see more of this caliber as you Write On! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— WDC Power Reviewers Group Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4870965

Review of Who am I, but a man?  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Jun 4, 2026 at 1:41pm

Length:   1,585 Characters | 1,260 w/o WritingML

TG, I would certainly call this poetry. It explores feelings and thoughts in metaphorical ways, which is one of the hallmarks I think of when I think of poetry. And the thoughts and feelings you explore are deep and painful. The poem resonates with me, as I am very introverted, very insecure, and very prone to failure. (I swear, I can't even get through one shopping trip without bringing home at least one wrong item!) The rubble of his days is a great phrase. Things fall apart; the center does not hold. But sometimes the whole s***aree falls down around our ears. And sometimes it feels like that's every day. 3 steps forward, 5 steps back. Who hasn't (or doesn't) feel that way? Life's a losing game, my friend, and every man loses his way in the end. And you illustrate that well here. Excellent bookending with Who am I, but a man, as well. it frames the poem nicely and offers good context to the question. Nice work. This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— WDC Power Reviewers Group Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4870845

Review of Winchester Ridge  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 3, 2026 at 1:52pm

Length:   860 Characters | 812 w/o WritingML

This was a great peek into someone going through mental action, as opposed to physical action. The places we existed in the past seem to have defined us. One wonders if Colin was treasuring memories or hoarding time. Maybe it amounts to the same. I have often wondered at the attachment of a person and the places of their past. I am strongly drawn to the places I grew up, lived, worked before now. I hear a town in a state where I used to live mentioned, and I go berserk trying to find that town on the map to see if it was near where I used to be. Why? I don't know. What I do know is that Colin's exploration of land, memory, and need touched something deep within me, as well—and what more could the writer ask for?. Good job, as always, my friend. --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers' Group

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#4870741

Review of The Wheel of Misfortune  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Given:   Jun 2, 2026 at 3:51pm

Length:   508 Characters | 470 w/o WritingML

Amber, This is a heck of a case of clumsy calamity! The one-trouble-after-another approach was well done, although it seemed rushed overall. I know: 300 words is a tight parameter in which to work! Perhaps there was room for a little more in the final meeting of Trevor and Lila. Did she get that special look in her eye when she spoke to him? Did he thank her charmingly and awkwardly? Good job with a humorous entry. --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers' Group

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#4870602

Review of The Fine Print  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Jun 1, 2026 at 6:23pm

Length:   1,554 Characters | 1,395 w/o WritingML

My friend, 1. Did the ending feel too predictable? I didn't feel the ending was predictable at all. I thought it was a fresh take on an old theme.   2. Did the demon and/or Arthur feel too generic? Arthur was a little generic, but the demon was really the main character, the one driving the action in the story. And the demon was nicely portrayed. Some physical destitute would have helped, though.   3. Did the story rely too much on the standard “demon pact” expectation? The story was predicated on it. It couldn't NOT rely on it. But it was a fresh take.   4. Which specific line or callback worked best for you? "The demon opened a fresh form."   5. Did the story feel complete under 200 words, or did it feel too much like a quick joke? It felt a little too quick, but not like a joke. It felt like a slightly filled-in outline. Plenty of room for growth.   6. Did “Arthur counted the sixes” make sense? Yes. It was a nice touch. 6 being the devil's digit, it was fitting. Some could interrupt it as only 666, though, which is not that terribly much money to owe... Certainly not worth a soul.   7. Would you remember this story a day later? Oh yeah. It has humor and it was clever. It will stand out in my head for a while.   It just needs more flesh on it's bones, my friend; otherwise, I think it's pretty dang good! --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers Group

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#4870348

Review of Negative for Soul  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   May 31, 2026 at 6:25am

Length:   1,943 Characters | 1,592 w/o WritingML

Novice, It's fascinating how complex ideas can be stated in very simple language. You've accomplished that well here. This almost reads like prose poetry; it has a certain rhythm to it. Prose poetry is a curious and beautiful cross-pollination of disciplines, and sometimes I miss it or misidentify it. But phrases like this lead me toward the poetical: I work with souls every day... But here, the question holds no sway. The question is succinct and the example is clear. I'm not a spiritual man myself, but I have a feeling there is something beyond this physical world; and something has to be left over to go forward. Soul? Energy? A white sheet with eye-holes? I'm not sure. By way of conversation, rather than critique, I would offer that this is but one sample of a life-and-death technician who never sees the soul. There are others—EMTs, for instance, or hospice workers—who will stake their lives that they have direct experience with souls. So who's got their eyes open and who's just seeing what they want to see? It's a good question, to which I haven't an answer. But your brief and insightful exploration of it is well-stated and quite thought-provoking. Nicely done, my friend. Do us all a favor, and Write On! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— WDC Power Reviewers Group Image #2333342 over display limit. -?- Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4870235

Review of Too Much Food for a Tiny Kitchen  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Given:   May 30, 2026 at 6:33am

Length:   836 Characters | 784 w/o WritingML

Seb, This is such a true-to-life scene, one thinks it has to be a true memory. One time, my dad and his friend were cooking burgers on the grill, and it started to hail! The burgers got pulverized, completely ruined. Now, I was pretty young, and I don't remember what we did for dinner instead, but I remember Dad and the other guy drinking their beer and laughing like hyenas. Sometimes, if you don't laugh, you'll just cry. This was a very nice piece. There was only one problem for me, a technical glitch: I couldn't tell which words or phrase were the prompt for the story. In any case, I'm glad I took a moment to read it, just to remind myself that even the messed-up times can be saved into a fond memory. Cheers! --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers' Group

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#4870083

Review of Somewhere between yesterday and sleep  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   May 29, 2026 at 6:21am

Length:   945 Characters | 915 w/o WritingML

Seb, I rarely review poetry anymore, but I am happy to offer my thoughts on this one. To summarize: this was incredible! There are so many wonderful lines that are somehow exactly right. The simile and metaphor are simply spot on. Here's a few that hit me like a downpour: The hour when silence grows teeth beautiful from a distance, impossible to hold. As if the sky understood what it meant to carry too much (This one was absolutely brilliant, tying the physical to the metaphorical perfectly.) The last four strophes (or phrases, or whatever) are so true and so simply stated as to drive the meaning of the poem home inexorably. Especially: I realized nostalgia is not missing a person, it's missing the version of yourself that existed when they were there. This is outstanding writing, my friend, and a great way to start my day! --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers' Group

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#4869979

Review of Sam’s Journal of Survival  

for entry "Paul Washed My Hair" 

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   May 28, 2026 at 8:45am

Length:   3,006 Characters | 2,681 w/o WritingML

Tee, Holy hell, this is powerful. What a horrible reality this portrays. Part of its strength is that it is not full of vitriol. It is almost numb, as Sam probably would be. It is plain and straightforward. It is brutal in its stark honesty. Your setting is important, and you've executed it well, placing it in a real world. Details like BWI give it a firm framework we can set ourselves in and really see the scene, whether we want to or not. "Sam-after-J." "Sam-in-the-hospital." What wonderful phrases to articulate how we have to incorporate every experience into our lives. There is no "closure;" just learning to cope with pain, loss, confusion. Her slow journey toward healthy coping, with a caring doctor and gentle partner(?), is also very realistic. We only get better with support; and "getting better" can take a long time. "He doesn’t reach for things I’m not ready to hand him." This was a very nicely articulated demonstration of patient support. A standout line for me. The reader is pleasantly intrigued by whether J is dead because of this most recent incident or some other reason. Did Sam kill him? Cops? Did he fall and break his neck and slowly suffocate? (One can hope.) But Sam's not telling, no matter what we want to know. She just doesn't have it in her to go over the details. "All I feel is tired." Again, that shock and numbness, that insulation, is simply and effectively stated. Post-crisis reaction is often exhaustion, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I feel this way just after a hard week; I don't want to imagine how dangerously and completely "tired" I would be after years of abuse. "I want to believe him." Oh, how much we define ourselves by what is done to us! Whether it is healthy or not, it is our wont. I think this is another area most readers can identify with, to whatever degree. Who among us hasn't defined ourselves by even the smallest of failures? Coping. Surviving. Coming out on the other side as the person who began a horrible journey. What a devastatingly dark road to travel. But this ending was realistic, understandable, and very powerful. This short piece shines a light on a horrible truth: this happens all the time and everywhere. But it remains important to tell the stories, whether they are truth or fiction. Well done, my friend. This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— WDC Power Reviewers Group Image #2333342 over display limit. -?- Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4869456

Review of Do You Wanna Rock?!  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   May 24, 2026 at 6:23am

Length:   685 Characters | 647 w/o WritingML

Very nicely done! Your use of the keywords was organic and natural, which is always impressive. The characters were engaging just form their dialog. I personally am challenged when trying to write a dialog-driven piece. Yours was impressively done, articulating the conflict between the two very well. Tom's "betrayal" at the end was not something I foresaw, which I appreciate; I prefer to be surprised by endings. But one does feel a bit sorry for Simon, discovering he's not the hapless mush that gets Tom into trouble, but the idea guy Tom uses unwittingly. Well done, and well-deserved win! --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers' Group

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#4869271

Review of Let's Go  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   May 22, 2026 at 8:34pm

Length:   465 Characters | 429 w/o WritingML

Summer problems solve themselves; some solutions are worse than the problem! People get miffed at me because I'm one of the correctors, like the narrator. So it was easy for me to identify with him quickly--important in a flash fiction! This was a pleasant and humorous exchange, demonstrating that realistic and absurd do not exist far from one another at all. Nice job. --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers' Group

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#4869062

Review of The Tomato in the Blue Dress  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Given:   May 21, 2026 at 7:53am

Length:   1,029 Characters | 947 w/o WritingML

Tee, Rob left more than just his compadres speechless! Miranda didn't seem to have much to say in reply to Rob's unexpected peck on the cheek. It's funny how we men don't realize a pretty girl is just as nervous as we are in a first-encounter situation. I like how Rob went from all bravado with his buddies to just an insecure guy asking a girl out on a date. The humor of Rob offering her a pencil at a drive-in—Ha! What's she gonna do with a pencil, Rob? Draw the movie?!—is pretty true to life. We say some dumb things when we're nervous. One wonders, though...since they're already at the drive-in, why not just watch this movie together? There's no accounting for romance. This is a nice reminder that putting ourselves out there often means leaving our worldly mask behind and just being ourselves. Things often work out for the best that way. Nice encouraging piece! --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers' Group

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#4868723

Review of What If.  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   May 18, 2026 at 12:10pm

Length:   1,820 Characters | 1,410 w/o WritingML

Kevin, The title of this piece is interesting here, and pulled me right in, although I still don't quite understand it: "What I If." Still, very interesting. I think this asks some very good questions. Having just finished a book by William L Shirer called The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, the question of Hitler sat well with me. What if this incredible orator, this barreling force of personality and persuasion had preached peace, love? Or even economics or science or something? What if he hadn't been crazy as a ****house rat and twice as evil? What if...? Your questions about each of this historical turning points are both humorous and thought-provoking. Like Carlin, embedding truth in the cushion of humor often makes it more palatable and easier to mentally digest. I wondered, though—probably because of my personal religious bent—if the question of Christ had been the last line, the most important question of all, how much more powerful might the piece have been? Totally a personal opinion, but I mean...what if? Nice work. This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— WDC Power Reviewers Group Image #2333342 over display limit. -?- Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4868719

Review of The Earring  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   May 18, 2026 at 12:01pm

Length:   665 Characters | 609 w/o WritingML

This is a cute story, as one comes to expect from you. It is interesting, isn't it, how our first reaction to things is blame or suspicion? When resolution comes in the form of innocence, though—unlike in this case—it's even more interesting how often anger is the next emotion. "Tom has en earring in his pocket. He must be cheating on me!" "Here, honey, I'm afraid I lost the other earring." "I thought you were doing something wrong! Be more careful!" People are weird. Except in this nice little story. Hopefully the cake made everything better. --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers'' Group

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#4868695

Review of Toe in the Water  

for entry "On Getting Older" 

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Given:   May 18, 2026 at 6:53am

Length:   1,296 Characters | 1,239 w/o WritingML

There is, in fact, a solution to the process of getting old... but it pretty drastic and very final. You used a phrase that resonated very strongly with me: "our happy presumption of immortality." What a true and frightening statement! When we are in our 20s and even our 30s, death is a theory, not a fact. We might have lost some friends to car accidents, war, may disease, but somehow the concept of death still doesn't apply to us personally. We are immune to this specter, and we tend to live life accordingly: dangerously, carelessly, frighteningly. It's when 40 and 50 roll around, when contemporaries start passing from heart attacks, diabetes, stroke; that's when we realize we're not immortal, that death is a personal destination, and that getting old is the incresingly unstable vehicle we ride to get there. This short essay has a lot of impact, especially for those of us of that age who are feeling it. But I suspect many younger readers will still put on their capes and super-suits, go out on Saturday nights, and tempt the fates with their supposed immortality one more time. I just hope we still see them in the years to come. Very nice, succinct writing. --Jeffrey --Power Reviewers' Group

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#4868577

Review of The Part No One Speaks On  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Given:   May 17, 2026 at 8:45am

Length:   1,838 Characters | 1,514 w/o WritingML

"Life Goes on." "The world's not gonna stop for my broken heart." "You'll get over it." So many cliches and easy answers are out there to "help" us "deal" with grief. But the grief of grief, as you explain here, is something we don't consider. It happens, and we have to face it, but we don't expect it. We don't expect that we really can continue living in the face of loss, that our own worlds do go on, even when it seems like they shouldn't. We forget. We don't forget the people, but we forget the immediacy of them. We don't forget the sound of their voice, but we loose touch with the impact of it. We don't forget the loss; we forget to keep hurting from it. It seems like a betrayal to the departed, like a cheat, like insincerity. But it's just a part of life, part of staying sane and staying alive. This was a very intuitive commentary on something we all feel but rarely see coming. I'd like to offer, constructively, that paragraph breaks between complete thoughts would help here; and line breaks between those paragraphs would further help the reader comfortable consume this important piece. Good topic here. Write on, Lee! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— WDC Power Reviewers Group Image #2333342 over display limit. -?- Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4868573

Review of Flight To Nowhere  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   May 17, 2026 at 8:06am

Length:   2,079 Characters | 1,762 w/o WritingML

I like it! An interesting take on the unsuspecting boatman or the oblivious angel of death. I think we all kind of knew where this was going, but (no pun intended) we enjoyed the trip. I think the exploration here is not so much how one gets from here to the hereafter as much as the confusion, denial, acceptance, and inevitability of death. The little things matter, the little things are what cause the greater things that lead to the final things. Being late. Picking up Teddy. Checking a text. Not balancing the ladder because it will only be a second. Etc, etc... And in the final event, we must be faced with some sort of confusion, mustn't we? When we hit our head on the corner or the cabinet, aren't we dazed for a second? Well how about when our soul is knocked clear of our worldly husk?! Obviously, the topic is very interesting to me, thus I found this twilight-zone-ish story very engaging. I am always a fan of cyclic writing, as well. I use the same device in The Long Caravan (it's on here; look it up if you want). Because life is as cyclical as death is final. And Life-in-Death, having given up Her grip on the Ancient Mariner, perhaps, now has James circling the terminal (double meaning definitely intended) ferrying the dead to...wherever. Great piece. Succinct and interesting, I would recommend this to anyone. No need to remind you, but goodness, my friend: Write On! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— WDC Power Reviewers Group Image #2333342 over display limit. -?- Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4868485

Review of Perpetually Purple  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   May 16, 2026 at 7:44am

Length:   2,279 Characters | 1,954 w/o WritingML

Charles, As usual, your unique perspective gives us a window into a truly strange scene! The opening lines are great, and they drew me right in. Something about the aristocracy denying reality so that they can go on being "proper" is very realistic. It's also so absurd as to be comical, which you articulate well here. Well, yeah, they're violets, but not the whole plant! Excellent way to tell us as the reader what was going on without coming out and saying it as exposition. Chesterton's battle against the impropriety of the virulent violets is humorous and engaging. It ruins our perfect mountain view! Again, the realistic absurdity of form over function is a perfect detail for this story! Giovanni, the absent-minded scientist, is a great character. His penchant for thinking in rhyme is a great detail that gives him a singular personality. One wonders what the main point of the story is, aside from its humor. Who's the hero? What is gained? Is there a message or moral? Personally, I don't think the story suffers for this potential ambiguity; I'm happy with it just being a funny story. Let me offer one constructive criticism, however: blank lines between paragraphs allow the readers' eyes to rest while reading. It's less intimidating that a huge dark black of text. I would encourage you to take this into consideration moving forward. (You almost lost a half-star for it, but this was more than a three-and-a-halfer, hand down.) I thoroughly enjoyed your story, Charles. It was funny, tongue-in-cheek realistic, and wackily absurd. I'm glad you offered this for our enjoyment! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— "The Power Reviewers Group"  Image #2333342 over display limit. -?- Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4868475

Review of The Crystal Image  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   May 16, 2026 at 7:26am

Length:   9,633 Characters | 8,134 w/o WritingML

O, This is a nice little story of self-fulfilling prophecy. Aside from the content, which I'll get to in a minute, I liked the way you built the end into the middle. Brian seeing the future and causing the future was played well. We do indeed reap what we sow, and Brian sowed only seeds of suspicion or mistrust. What I liked was that he didn't get in return exactly what he put out there. Caroline didn't become the bad guy based on Brian's visions; Brian himself became the villain and caused the vision he saw to become an eventual reality. Another interesting facet was that he never saw himself and Caroline in the ball, hinting to the reader that he was never wholesomely in love with his wife to begin with. One could infer that the casual love in a marriage, which sometimes seems to supplant true deep emotional connection, is more corrosive than (and can eventually lead to) active negative emotions. Let me give you a detailed run-down of the elements of your story as they struck me. Introduction ▶︎ The introduction to the story was the one part I found a little wanting. A couple more supporting sentences to get Brian over to the yard sale, a little more context, would have helped quite a bit, in my opinion. It seemed like the reader was rushed into the meat of the story. ​ Setting ▶︎ The Yard Sale and The Witch: The yard sale is underdelivered. There is so much rich detail at a good yard sale. It's not always good detail, mnd you—one man's trash is another man's yard sale! Butthere's old tools, trunks, clothes from too long ago, dishes we rmember from when we were growing up...and weird stuff, like books of symbols or crystal balls. I think a bit more description of the yard sale itself would have lent some rishness to the tapestry you have painted. Lasagna and Visions: First, I love leftovers. Some people in my family won't eat them. I had a friend whoe wife cooked enourmous meals the two of them couldn't possibly finish. But they never ate the leftovers. What a waste of money. All this is to say that a guy eating leftover lasagna lent a grounding reality to the story. One could put himself at one's table, fork in hand, looking at this crazy ball... Through a Glass Darkly: The smokiness of the visions in the ball is not new, but it is effective. Rarely does one read of a crystal ball showing crystal visions. (Hmm... Now I expect we'll read a Stephen King book about a 4K crystal ball! ) The reader felt a distance, a flatness to the images that felt right. We were seeing pictures through a window, after all, not actual life. ​ Characters ▶︎ Brian: Brian is paintied with broad brush strokes. We really don't get much of a feel for him aside from his sarcasm (when he first receives the ball) and his pent-up anger and suspicion (as he unsuspectingly uses the ball). He is not a pleasant person, and I really didn't mind seeing Caroline leave him after all? There might be a little room to give his character more, depth though. I would offer that is the case throughout. Although the point is not to be a suspicous jerk, giving the characters a little more life would only stregnthen the tale. The Witch: I hate being stereotypical, but making the Lady of the Crystal a Slavic woman was somehow spot-on. May the rest of the readers forgive me. Immediately to my mind came the image of the witch offering Snow White the apple, until you described the woman more. Good job planting this character in reality so we knew what we were seeing. Another lesson learned: if someone offers you free magic, run the other way! Caroline: The only wholesome character, it's not a wonder, given the way our world works today, that she was the one hurt the most. However, her healing in the end is a welcome resolution, as the reader has been able to invest in her. Again, not a very deep character, her dialog nonetheless gives her a familiarity. Words of endearment like "honey" always bring a truth to dialog, which in turn brings a definition to characters. Derek: Our hero of the story, Derek is everything Brian is not. We rather instinctively like him just because of this. Now, as opposed to the other characters, I think keeping Derek vague was a strength. Again, he's simply a positive contrast to Brian's (and the Ball's) negativity. ​ Plot/Arc ▶︎ The journey of these characters was fairly short; but that's the usaual case with a short story. Although Caroline had her own journey, it was directly influenced by and directly inverse to Brin's, and Brian was the main character of the story. His journey went from being a slight jerk to being a real jerk to beaing a raving jerk to being a sad worn out paranoid has-been jerk. The arc was shallow, but not without impact. The message of knowing the facts before jumping to conclusions is ably demonstrated. Compounding that message is the one that every love is based on trust and communication. Brian valued neither of these, and thus wound up a thing of the past in his own life. ​ Mechanics ▶︎ I am something of a stickler for general mechanics. Run-on sentences, bastardized commas—things like that. They make me crazy because they break my conentration and yank me out of the story. Happily, I found no such errors in your writing! There's always going to be a little mistake here and there unless we have a team of copy specialists proofreading our work. The only thing I would mention in this piece is that some paragraphs did not have the double-spacing of others.For instance: Brian walked inside and set it on the kitchen table as he helped himself to some leftover lasagna. He was chewing when he realized that the crystal ball was showing him something. In the ball was an image of his wife, Caroline, a petite redhead in a green dress. If it wasn’t her, it was one hell of a lookalike. Behind her were products on shelves, likely at the local grocery store. That wasn’t what bothered him; it was the fact that she was with a man in far better shape than he was, and that Caroline was looking at him appraisingly. The extra carriage return after "something" is missing. See? Just something tiny. ​ Conclusion ▶︎ I don't think anyone's disappointed seeing Brian shunted to the side. He's a bit of an ass. And seeing Caroline happy again reinforces the reader's hope that things will turn out alright in the end. The conclusion of your story is quite nicely tied up. There's just one point I would have loved to have known: what is the fate of the Crystal Ball at the end? Does Brian still have it? Does it continue to gnaw at him? Has it found another person for whom to cause trouble? Is it lying in wait somewhere like some evil eye? Just a thought. ​ Constructive Comments ▶︎ I like to try and offer something helpful when I review a story. As mentioned earlier, I think just some more details would enrich this story without obscuring the general message or the overall scenes. What does the yard sale look like? How is the relationship between Brian and Caroline in the beginning of the story? Little things like that. And they really are littel things. I think these details wold help and would enrich, but the absence does not detract from the story in any way. ​ This was a quick, enjoyable read reminding us not to be too hasty in what we only think we know—and not to be a meathead in general! With stories like this, the reader certainly does hope to read more; so I hope you Write On! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— "The Power Reviewers Group"  Image #2333342 over display limit. -?- Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4868078

Review of The Resurrection Machine  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   May 13, 2026 at 1:08pm

Length:   7,275 Characters | 6,382 w/o WritingML

Lonewolf, I'm so glad you decided to enter this into the Adam West contest this month. This was a great story! It was original and engaging, and I was hooked from the beginning. The idea of ancient technology is fascinating to me! I once wondered, if you drem a line from Stone Henge to the center of the Mayan civilizatiojns, and from the mysterious mounds in the United Styates midwest to the Egyption pyramids, could the intersection of those lines represent the whereabouts of sunken Atlantis? Interesting...but not as interesting as your Resurrection Machine. Let's take a look at what makes this thing tick. Introduction ▶︎ I think we are all interested in history. Even if we don't have a favorite epoch or subject, something about the past draws us in. Perhaps it's because the past ties us all together. Using history to introduce the present had me hooked right away. The discovery of lost things has always called to me, as well, and Ken's finds, albeit fictional, were fascinating to me as I read. And that was just the first few paragraphs! Great hook. ​ Setting ▶︎ The Lab: Kenneth's lab/research facility was engrossing. So many unnamable artifacts and discoveries, so many pieces to so many puzzles. But I was also able to understand some of what he was seeing and doing. We've watched the History Channel and seen how the scientists do their thing. So as Kenneth did his research, it was sort of like watching a documentary on a a strange and wonderful one-of-a-kind find. Like most other elements of the story, this drew me in and kept me there. The Hospital: Marcus' mospital room was not overly described; it didn't need to be. We've all been in those rooms. We all know the beeping, the hissing, the sad and sunken eyes, the tubes... By not going into too much detail, you let us, as the readers, immerse ourselves in an enviroment familiar to us. Very effective. The Machine: As he built the contraption in his garage, I was able to imagine it vividly. It was organic, somehow wise in construction. Stone and green. Strength and technicality. You set this section up so well, one almost wishes it was a little longer. (Only because it was so cool, not because it really needed to be longer. ) ​ Characters ▶︎ Most good short stories only have one or two settings, one or two main characters. I appreciated being able to keep my focus on just a couple of primaries here. Kenneth: I thoroughly enjoyed this character. As mentioned, I love to discover things, to dig and find out how things work. While I don't have the tenacity or knowledge to investigate on the scale of Mr. Anderson, just reading about such discoveries is tantalizing. I think you did the character justice by having him not only discover things but cross reference them, get second opinions, look at supporting documents and findings. It all lent to the overall believability of the character. Marcus: A man resigned to his fate but still goverened by love, Marcus is less a driver in this story than the source of the climax itself. His quiet exhaustion is deeply felt—at least it was by me. But in the end, he's going to die, so for the love of his nephew, why not give this one last crazy grasp a try? Another good character. ​ Plot/Arc ▶︎ Immortality? Avoidance of loss? The concept of resurrection can be quite philisophically stimulating. I foudn it interesting, however, that that discussion was kept in the background of this piece. This story focused on doining something, building something, saving something. "Why" and "What if" were left out of the equation of the story...but the questions were there, especially at the end. Hiding the Big Question in plain site in a story is an interesting trick, and it doesn't always pay off. This time, it paid dividends. ​ Mechanics ▶︎ I always like to note when a person's writing is clean, technically. I found no orphaned sentence fragments, misplaced ideas, transient commas. everything felt right and tight. I appreciate that, because it makes the reading that much easier. And for me, the easier the reading is, the more energy I can dedicate to enjoying the story. Nicely done. ​ Conclusion ▶︎ The way teh Resurrection machine morked, pulsated, everything—the sequence was written really well! I was especially impressed with teh description of the machine after it had done its work. It was still intact, but its fuel had been spent and it was subtly different. Excellent work. However, this is the one area I had the slightest issue. I felt the last line was not definitive. “They won’t let you keep this,” Marcus continued. “And they won’t let it remain what it is.” This is definitive and intuitive. "They," no matter from which society, will never leave altruism and beneficince alone. It will always be changed to something else, something for profit or something for violence. At least that's what history has shown us. But the last line suggest that the machine will be okay, simply by Kenneth not letting it be hushed up—as if one person can truly stop "them" once "they" have put their minds to something. Something about those last lines just seemed loose to me, like there was something not quite tied up. Understand, this is a very little thing I'm talking about here, in a terrific story. Just offering this reader's opinion. ​ This was a great take on the title. It was original in the extreme, engaging, and really interesting! The cure for death has obsessed humankind for millennia. The solution to the problem, found in ancient sources, makes one wonder why it was lost in the first place. Even though Marcus and Kenneth don't want it to be forgotten again, maybe it was hidden in the past for good reason. For if we all can live forever, what new hell would that unleash? Thanks for this awesome entry, my friend! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— "The Power Reviewers Group"  Image #2333342 over display limit. -?- Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.

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#4867035

Review of A Face for Murder  

Review by Jeffrey Meyer

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Given:   May 5, 2026 at 6:37am

Length:   8,269 Characters | 7,015 w/o WritingML

Silvern, You paint a dark, dystopian world in this. I wonder if it reflects your worldview or if it's purely fiction. It's always interesting for me to ponder how much of the story is the author's own view/experience, and how much is made up. I'd like to share with you what I got out of your story and to offer some observations along the way. Introduction ▶︎ After very briefly meeting one of the main characters, we are quickly dragged into the corrupt world as Maya sees it. It's a pretty abrupt beginning, I have to admit. It makes it plain that this is not a pretty world, but it really doesn't give the reader much of a chance to immerse himself in the story before getting in the depths of the plot. ​ Setting ▶︎ The Studio (?): While we are included in Elias' construction of the painting, we are never really given any visuals of the space in which he works. I wonder if it's cluttered like the classic artist's studio or clean and utilitarian? I wonder how do Elias and Maya interact in the studio? Granted, this is not the bones of the story, but it is the stage dressing that allows the reader to really get a sense of the environment of the story. The Gallery: This was nicely done. I could imagine myself in a posh art gallery with a drink in my hand trying not to look directly at some very suspicious-looking men. The arrival of the drone broke the scene and moved the story forward quite well. The Alleys: Perhaps there's an opportunity to describe the corruption through the scenery here, much like the scenery of the Batman movies paints not only a bleak landscape but hints at the overpowering minds that built it. Perhaps the streets are littered with garbage. Homeless people whom the Government has cheated out of jobs and left to fend on their own. Psychological darkness as well as physical darkness. In any, "the maze of streets" certainly portrays the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped—in this case, by an overbearing government. Safety (?): It was a good idea to keep the main characters moving around. It lends to the believabiity of the scene. They certainly wouldn't just go back home and resume their normal lives. You portray them as being "on edge," which is exactly how a life on the run and in hiding would make one feel. You didn't go into much detail here, but you didn't need to to get your point across. ​ Characters ▶︎ Elais: Elais is ostensibly the main character since it is his work that drives the story. However, he is somewhat two-dimensional. While it is his art that brings the corruption of the Goverment into focus, Maya seems to be the one making the decisions for him. Perhaps a little more of an active role for Elias? Maya: Now Maya is the real driver in this vehicle. She influences Elais to create the art that reveals illustratively the rot within "the system." She has done the research, knows the details, and encourages her friend to stand with her against the power of the tyrannical Government. Yet...we never get to know her, or even see her really, as there is no physical description of her. I don't mean to imply that she is badly written; I just personally would have liked to have known a little more about her, even if it was just the color of her hair. The Thugs: Spot-on. Big dumb animals in nice suits. It seems kind of cliche, but it seems really realistic, too. Sometimes life is cliche I guess. Good job with these goons. ​ Plot/Arc ▶︎ While I had no trouble following the path of this story, it was very linear. There was little to no development of characters or environment. It started off with two rebellious people in a totalitarin regime and ended the same way, the only difference being private rebellion in the beginning vs open rebellion at the end. I understand the risk of throwing too much detail into a short story and making it feel bloated, some sort of development seems to be an opportunity here. Perhaps a suspenseful build-up to the action of the thugs during the gallery showing, for instance. ​ Mechanics ▶︎ I didn't too many issues with the grammar or puntuation or spelling in this piece. Good job. However, I will offer two suggestions: First, consider using a larger font to reduce eye fatigue for the reader. It seems like a little thing, but it can really have a lot of impact. I am more likely to scroll past a story in a tiny font than one in larger friendly letters. Second, Use paragraph breaks between dialog. Here's an example (please forgive me for using such a large portion): One chilly evening, she visited Elias at his tiny studio and told him, "You need to see these." The screen showed clips of various city officials engaging in shady deals with unknown organisations.Elias examined the footage carefully and told her, "This is truly dangerous, Maya. If they find out you've accessed that, they might come after you." Her eyes were shining. "I’m tired of hiding. The people deserve to know what’s happening. And you, Elias, can make a difference with your art! What if we create a piece that exposes them?" might be better displayed as One chilly evening, she visited Elias at his tiny studio and told him, "You need to see these." The screen showed clips of various city officials engaging in shady deals with unknown organisations. Elias examined the footage carefully and told her, "This is truly dangerous, Maya. If they find out you've accessed that, they might come after you." Her eyes were shining. "I’m tired of hiding. The people deserve to know what’s happening. And you, Elias, can make a difference with your art! What if we create a piece that exposes them?" See how it breaks the speech out into easily identifiable who's-speaking sections? ​ Conclusion ▶︎ The conslucion of this story is strong and hopeful, leaving the reader with a very positive feeling: tyranny can always be overcome, even if it entails danger and sacrifice."There was a hope." Hope is something that can activate the human spirit to all manner of things, including "a brighter future." ​ Though this carried a dark tone throughout, it was a thought-provoking story about a Government out of control. As the government here in US takes an increasingly and alarmingly greater and greater degree of control, this is a timely piece for me to read. Whether it be about darkness or light, oppression or hope, Write On, my friend! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— "The Power Reviewers Group"  Image #2333342 over display limit. -?- Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.