Review Requests: ON
880 Public Reviews Given
885 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I prefer to offer an in-depth review of others' writing. I will note the things I like, things that may not work as well for me as a reader, and supportive suggestions.
I'm good at...
Mechanics and meaning. I'm no expert, but I can tell where a comma does and doesn't belong, and I can see where a meaning might be excellently conveyed or a bit muddled thereby. I'm also good at recognizing the overall spirit of a piece as a whole, despite mechanics, grammar, and such.
Favorite Genres
General fiction, some sci-fi, drama, some poetry
Least Favorite Genres
Fan-fiction, politics
Favorite Item Types
Character-driven stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Articles. Essays are okay, but they're not my favorite.
I will not review...
Stories about giants or shrinking--I just don't "get" them. I am also unlikely to review 5,000+ word pieces unless the GP compensation is commensurate with the effort I will have to put into it.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I was sure the guy driving the car was going to have been his boss. But then, that's my luck.

You did a great job describing a chronic drunk. "Smelling like last night's bar tab" was a good turn of phrase.

At least he finally got some trust back at the end!

Fun piece, my friend.
2
2
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting outlook. Personally, I prefer to use the rating system, but I never give fewer than three stars. That's reserved for something that's too dense it error-filled to make sense. Sometimes someone will request a review. THEN I take it very seriously. If it's going to be a brutal review -- honeys, but brutal-- I'll send them an email first and ask them if they want me to continue.

I didn't mind getting varying stars, myself. It helps me to re-examine what I've write and see what I could do better. But that's just me.

3
3
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh yeah. You GOT to earn your stripes. I have one son who thinks he should just walk into a job and everybody should just automatically respect and revere him. I keep telling him: "You gotta put your time in in the trenches, son!" I don't know if he'll ever learn.

For my part, I'm happy to do whatever the Company needs, even if it's emptying trashcans at the end of the day. And it's not out of fear of being fired; I just love the place I work.

I like this story reminding us that menial work doesn't have to be meaningless work. Nice job.

--Jeffrey
4
4
Review of Nobody Home  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
In this age of casually passing by, no matter the circumstances, it's nice to imagine a scene where two youngsters actually stop to help out. Quite determined salesmen, also. They were as persistent as the traveling bible-bearers that used to come to our house all the time when I was young! Quite a sweet little tale of how doing the right things reaps rewards in the end.

Of course, now I want some cookies...
*Wink*
5
5
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Ha! Nice twist on the World Wide "Web!" (By the way, you have "world" spelled wrong in the third-to-last sentence.) Although, I have to say, if rescuing a spider leads to a broken bone, I think 'll just opt for the squish every time, thank you very much!

Very nice piece urging us to respect nature
even the creepier parts of it.

--Jeffrey
6
6
for entry "Opus
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Jeff,

This is a nice take on the "inside job" theme. Modern art being what it is, I can easily see this being an installation in a gallery. The less I understand it, apparently, the better the art is considered! Nice job turning the story in those last couple of lines. I didn't see it coming which made the destination that much more enjoyable.

Great job!
--Jeffrey
7
7
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I certainly see the humor in this. It's rather strongly tongue-in-cheek, japing every stereotypical "old-fashioned" thought about women. That old dad wants sonny to bring the woman home for him emphasizes a generation gap and a difference in thinking between father and son, although this is mostly implied. The son is not the misogynist here; dad is. The son is just relating the nonsense his father spouted.

Quite nice for just a bit of fun, especially as it is in the context of a larger story and cant really be taken at face value as a standalone piece.

Nice rhyme and meter, to offer some mechanical notes. It read smoothly and quickly, without too much thought having to go into it, which is comfortable for the reader.

Fun work, my friend!


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8
8
Review of Grandma Rosewood  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Lonewolf,

Your flair for metaphor and simile shine through again in this piece. "A rainbow caught in mid stride
" What an exquisite image. Even without the magic, it's a perfect way to capture the beauty of a sunset. The thought of witches being good as well as evil has been often explored, but is still the minority view. It is nice to read a story where the magic is clean and pure, and witches work only to heal the world. I wish more ordinary people would try to do the same.

Very nice story, sir.

--Jeffrey
9
9
Review of Valentine's Day  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My goodness! You captured that nervous indecision just right! I've been there so many times. Honestly, I usually freeze up and botch the moment. But this is about John, and John lucked out in the extreme. The heart does indeed make the right choices for us sometimes. All the presents in the world weren't as valuable to Cynthia as just having John. And tagging on a long-lasting marriage which is no mean feat was a nice closer.

Great writing, my friend.

--Jeffrey
10
10
Review of Sarah Ebon  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Nick,

This is a warmhearted trip down memory lane
both for you and for the reader. I remember playing the same games, reading the same books. I didn't have a Sarah Ebon by my side though; it would have been so much better, I can see from your poem, if I had. An ode to an old friend, this speaks volumes about love.

I must confess, though, I was a little confused by the last line. I'm not sure if this is a eulogy to a friend who has passed or a living note of appreciation and thanks, looking forward to more years of friendship. I'm not sure if you intended that ambiguity or not, so I wanted to point it out.

One mechanical note I'd like to point out: the almost-rhythm is a tricky. In many lines, there is a meter, but that meter fails after three or four lines and moves to something very different. The broken timing really tripped me up; perhaps tightening it down to a truer tempo would alleviate that.

This is very nice poem about something I don't read much about: simple friendship
not romantic love and bitterness or loneliness; just the simple joy of a great friend. Nicely done.



This review offered by
Jeffrey

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11
11
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Emberly,

This is a deeply personal poem you've shared with us. One can identify, at least to some extent, the frustration of good intentions achieving exactly the wrong goals and hopes being proven futile over and over again.

This quote resonated with me, as I have a son who struggles with mental issues and substance abuse (clean for now, thankfully):
I cried alone while my son laughed somewhere else,
like my grief was invisible air he didn’t need to breathe.

When our pain goes unheeded and we are alone with our grief, the pit just seems to get so much deeper.

The structure you've chosen, such as it is, fits the mood. Your choice to use so many short lines works well here. Each one is like a little cut, and they all add up to a thousand little cuts that slowly bleed the soul. But in the end, the cuts heal. They leave scars, but they didn't bleed you dry. You survived.

Then again, survival is sometimes both a blessing
and a curse, in my experience anyway. One day feels victorious, but the next day feels like so much wasted effort trying to kick water uphill. I get the same sense lurking between the lines here.

I quite enjoyed this poem that I can only hope was cathartic to write.


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Jeffrey

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12
12
Review of Jared  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Jared,

This is fantastic, man. The message of hope by itself is to be lauded, especially from someone like myself who tends to find the shadows on the sunniest of days. But beyond than, there's some great writing in such a short piece.
*Thought* "like a heartbeat relearning its pace" This was such a great analogy. for me it turned the sound of a hammer into the sound of many hammers. It was like adding stereo to a mono track.

*Thought* "the smell of wet ash" I often read of the smell of ash, the smell of brunt cloth, burnt wood. But the sodden, nasty smell of wet ash is so memorably pungent, such a smell of something have been extinguished, like the hope of the village. It's just such an important detail, and slipped in like a minor chord you didn't realize you heard until your eyes start to tear up.

*Thought* "he had a plan and a blister" A perfect way of stating that Jared was participating in healing his vision (ergo the blister) and that he was moving forward toward a leadership role, a forward-looking role. It uses Jared as that major chord, that positive note that represents the potential of recovery, whether its a town that's broken or a person or a person's spirit: with hard work and a sharp mind, there is such a thing as "forward."

I am very impressed by this short piece, thought not surprised, given much of your other work. Still, I think this would stand tall in many a contest.

What a joy to read, and a great way to start my day. What a way to Write On!


TThis review offered by
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13
13
Review of A grieving soul  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Faith,

This poem packs a powerful punch. It is terribly mature for such a young persona. I am fifty, and I have lost fewer than nine people close to me; how intense it must be to endure such a loss, I can only image. Your words to convey a lot of it well, though.

I was particularly struck by 4 and 5.
"You’re the common denominator for all this death / You’re the problem." That's a way of expressing guilt I had never even considered. The reader is forced to pause and think about it, though, and imagine what it must feel like. It's not comfortable, and it's not meant to be. Excellent delivery.

The end of the strophe for 8 and 9 is a bit concerning, I must say. Dissociation is a dangerous coping mechanism, and not often anyone's friend. But that's not truly the point here, and I know it; it's not the main thrust of the poem. However, it
is another part that really strikes out at the reader, reinforcing how desperate all of the loss is, and how desperate the writer is to cope with it.

You've handled this is in a very straightforward way, leaving out the frills and colors that often accompany poetry. It's stark, like its topic; it's direct to the point, as death itself must be. It's presented, in my opinion, perfectly.

I hope, if this has brought any catharsis, that you choose to Write On!



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14
14
Review of Meals on Wheels  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lonewolf,

This was wrought with some perfect metaphors.
"His car was old enough to vote and opinionated enough to complain." What a perfect description of a car without actually describing it; loved it. This piece remind us that we can find peace and joy in the small things, and that we should. If a late-night driver can find his zen, why not us nine-to-fivers?

Good piece, and congrats on last night's win.

--Jeffrey
15
15
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Alice,

I found this story-cum-blog entertaining to a tee! Of course it deals with the deeper issue of self-image, but it touches on it in a humorously self-deprecating way that is enjoyable for the reader to consume and easy to digest.

It particularly strikes me because I used toi have long hair. That was over half a lifetime ago, but I still vaguely remember it. I was thuggish-looking lad, with a tough exterior to keep people at a protective arm's length. So when a woman asked me what I did to my hair, I was at first quite defensive. When I saw she was serious, my answer was so lame, it was almost embarrassing: White Rain shampoo and cold water. When I went home and looked in the mirror, however, I didn't see softly flowing locks or gentle brown waves: I saw homeless Jesus staring back at me skeptically.

In short, I certainly
can relate!

At this point, I keep my hair short enough so I can't pull it out in frustration; and I've stopped noticing the gray (except for the way it refuses to stay combed and sticks out of my beard like still-homeless Jesus).

Thanks for a fun way to start my morning. More of this--Write On!

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16
16
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nora,

I sure hope your writer's block has passed! But, good grief I know how you feel!

I have a contest here on WdC that I like to contribute to, as well, because it's a fun exercise. Half the time, I look at the blinking cursor... and look... and look... If one could see my thoughts like a thought bubble in a cartoon, it would just be a blank white cloud.

I, too, am working on a novel. Been working on it for years now. Have about 3 chapters completed, and those probably need to be overhauled heavily. But when I sit down to write more, I feel exactly as you describe here: I can't even think of the next sentence!

Writer's block is the veriest of bitch-kitties, no doubt. As I said, I hope yours has passed, but reading this has been kind of validating, knowing I'm not the only one who's sometimes just as blank as the page in front of them.

Best of luck on your novel. Remember (as I should, too) that the key is simple: just Write On!


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17
17
Review of Shooting Star  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
David,

This is a wonderfully simple but complete scene of two young would-be lovers in those first stages of the fires of the heart. I rather liked the honest way you portrayed Sandra's disappointment when Randell pointed out the concrete reality of the shooting star as opposed to the romantic imagery of it. That's a real thing; geeks like me and Randell have a way of ruining things by being overly analytical and borderline argumentative about little details.

The final line of this reminds me of that old Shania Twain song,
No One Needs to Know Right Now. Secrets are heavy things to carry around, usually... but not a secret like this. One day, Randell might guess her heart's secret wish. Then he'll find himself so focused on her, he won't notice if all the stars fall from the sky.

This was a charming read to start my day.


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18
18
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tee,

This is a wonderful illustration, both from the point of imagery and from the point of philosophy. It's a reminder that that we can focus on the little things, find happiness and fulfillment in them. That's an idealistic viewpoint, sure, but if it were a reality, it could resolve these complex dissatisfactions, unwind the complicated conflicts. In the meantime, between the realism of our world and the idealism of Smokey's world, we can all make our own small efforts to focus on the little victories.

I'd like to point out some of the aspects of this little gem that stood out to me.

*PaintBrush* "In a garden where flowers bloom like brushstrokes and sunlight glows like melted gold..." What fantastic imagery! The metaphor and simile of this line are both original are brilliant, really putting the garden clearly in the mind's eye of the reader.

*PaintBrush* "...a coat like midnight fire..." what a paradox, emphasizing the contrast in Smokey's fur.

*Thought* "...tucked between blossoms and curiosity." This is such a beautiful way of reminding us that inquisitiveness brings the world around us into full bloom.

*Thought2* "So here’s to... wide eyes and wild hearts." Again, you strike that chord of curiosity and encouraging the reader to follow the simple questions that have beautifully simple answer for total wholesome satisfaction.

This was a gorgeous piece that packs a lot of impact for such a short piece. I'm glad I was able to start my day with this!



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19
19
Review of The Episode  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Jacky,

I really like this piece. In a way, it reminds my
The Number of the Beast, by Iron Maiden, wherein a man encounters a significantly more sinister group dancing in the woods and feels drawn to them and must join with them as a family of necromancers, perhaps.

Yours is much more positive, of course. It's also so believable, especially the hovering parents. Sometimes we get so protective of our children, we can smother them--especially an only child. It's often said that parents read evey book about parenting when their first child is born and hound the child's every step to make sure they, as the parents, are doing everythign right; but by the time a second child comes around, the give the little one a wrench and a bottle and let them find out for themselves.
*Laugh*

The had a wonderful conclusion, forward-looking and leaving the reader wanting more. What I like about endings such as this is that there
is no more; if makes my imagination have to work, it makes me think. And, as I often say, that's what really good writing does.

--Jeffrey
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20
20
Review of Wish Upon a Star  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Mike,

I found this to be a wonderful little story. It's presented quite well, painted with broad strokes so that the reader can view the character's life against the context of their own. The limitations of
when he can make his wishes was very original, and that's not something that's easy to do with the "granted wishes" theme.

You managed to avoid another pitfall quite skillfully as well. In the beginning, I thought we were going to go the route of Monkey's Paw. I thought the riches were going to come because someone had died and left the main character a hoard of wealth, or something along those lines. You inverted the theme, however, making the granted wish corrupt the wisher. For me, that was also very original.

The final line was not only humorous and charming, but quite the commentary on the human experience: no matter how many times we do something to harm ourselves, we seem constitutionally incapable of learning from it, and we do the same exact thing again.

The only thing I would suggest is regarding formatting. I suggest picking one font and sticking to it. The first paragraph is in a serif font (looks like Times) while the rest is in a non-serif font. Using just one style makes the piece feel more cohesive.

This was a great story, Mike. Thanks for inviting me to read along.



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21
21
Review of Sam Platte  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Daisan,

I love this! The scene is complete and self-contained, needing no backstory to help it stand on its own. Dialog is spot-on. I applaud the vocabulary you've chosen, not shying away from what would have been said at the time, neither using it gratuitously not glossing it over.

The concept of the outcast actually being the wisdom of the group is always I theme a enjoy. Being an underdog most of my life, it's nice to be able to so easily insert myself into the story as Sam.

Aside from offering how much I liked this story, I don't have much else to offer. Mechanics, organization, and arc are all about perfect, from my side of the campfire. Excellent work, my friend!
22
22
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Paranologist,

I find the field of ufology fascinating. I have long accepted UFOs/UAPs as real events, to the point where, while they are rare enough in my life to be major events, reports of others sighting them is simply another routine news story to me. Your article about the several categories of Close Encounters with aliens and alien technology was tremendously interesting and very informative.

That having been said, there are some issues with your article I'd like to point out that might make it a stronger read.

*Right* Introduction:
The introduction to your article is clear and concise, but it's ,missing something: a thesis. One of the best bits of writing mentoring I ever got was: in any essay, article, story, pamphlet, or what have you— 1) Tell em what you're gonna tell em; 2) Tell em; 3) Tell em what you told em. In this case, a summary sentence at the end of your first paragraph would tell your readers what you're about to present and why. Why should the reader be interested in what you are writing? In other words, it would tell em what you're gonna tell em.

*DoorB* Paragraph openers:
In this case, it might be helpful to place your paragraph openers in bold type, thus:
Close Encounters of the First Kind: are when unexplainable flying aircraft...

Alternatively, you might choose to make your "headers" part of the opening sentence of the paragraph, which would be more correct in any case. Here's an example:
Close Encounters of the Second Kind are when there is a physical effect on electrical systems caused by...
 
*Gear* Structure:
You have a lot of fragments in this article that should be drawn out into sentences. Here's a couple of instances:
Paragraph 4: The UFO Crash in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947.
Paragraph 3: When there are power outages like in New York, and missile silos go off line, or cars will not start after a UFO is sighted.

These need a subject, verb, and object. Currently, there is a subject without a verb or object, and a dependent clause with no parent, respectively. Ensure your sentences are structured completely and correctly to convey your message with greater clarity and precision.

There is an issue with paragraph structure, as well. The third and fifth paragraphs are just 2 examples of this issue. You have a line break in the middle of your paragraph where there should not be one. For instance, in the third paragraph, there should not be a line break between
"...Sighted" and "And crop circles..."

*BookmarkG* Refrerences:
This one's neither right nor wrong, but I would consider putting your references, such as Whitley Streiber's
Communion (an awesome book, by the way) as footnotes to the article. It's not wrong, per se, to cite them as references inline in your paragraphs, as you've done. However, putting all your citations in one place, as footnotes, allows the reader to see them all at once and investigate further without having to read back though the entire article to find one reference that struck them as interesting.

*Stop* Conclusion:
This is where you "tell em what you told em." Your copnclusion would be much stronger with a summary of what was just presented, why the reader should care about it and retain it, and how, if, or why it will have an impact on the reader or world at large moving into the future.

This article has valuable and fascinating information in it; your research on the subject shows. I was glad to have an opportunity to read it. I am hoping there will be more on this topic as I peek further into your portfolio.


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23
23
Review of Solar rider  
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anastasia,

This poem about perseverance in the face of overwhelming odds is encouraging. You use an extreme metaphor to illustrate the struggles in the writer's life, including the advice from others to turn away from the path of accomplishment. This is stated very well.

The concept and declaration of being alone on a journey speaks strongly of self-reliance and self-motivation. The final lines conclude the story with success. One can easily interpret that this is a cyclic story, that every struggle or challenge follows this path to some degree. Furthermore, we can apply this to ourselves, making the poem that much more accessible.

On a technical note, your rhyme scheme is written very well. There are some places where your meter skips just a bit, but that's not a huge deal if you're not constraining your self to a specific style. I will note that the vocabulary, while effectively using the extreme to boldly define the journey, is very sci-fi centric; that might actually
decrease the accessibility of the poem for some reason.

Overall, this is a solid poem with a very positive message. Nice work.


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24
24
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lonewolf,

I didn't expect this ending to the tried-and-true haunted house trope. The sudden lighting up of the house was a very interesting direction indeed! I wonder, though, why the big homie had both a candle and a flashlight. Why doesn't anyone ever choose the more reliable Coleman lantern in horror stories?
*Laugh*

I really liked this; congrats on a well-deserved win!

--Jeffrey
25
25
Review by Jeffrey Meyer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wildflower,

I think this is a very nice poem. Articulating
"I've even ruined this poem" illustrates the writer's frustration and feeling of helplessness in this situation. Misunderstood feelings, whether accidental or deliberate, leave a person feeling very used and worn out. That feeling comes through here as well. The self-recrimination, while not stated in harsh tones, is evidenced clearly with "of course I've done this."

I can't imagine the pain of sitting at my former lover's wedding and watching her experience the bliss I had once thought was meant for me.

You didn't ruin this poem at all; I think it works great, and I hope you Write On!



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