I'm speechless. Excellent writing. Very creative writing style. Love the sentence structure that you used here. You have the word hidden completey at it's best in the way that you have discribed it.
Write On!
Cissy
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Hello Jerseyboy, I remember that day too! This was a very moving piece of writing!
Excellent! I see no errors. But what do I know I was over come with emotion as I read your
poem. Thank you so much for sharing this with us all here at WDC!
Keep Writing!
These are great party decorations, I'm using some of them now on a surprise BDay party I'm giving
to Violet The Nun-MY POEMS R GONE. She is celebrating being here one year on the 27th.
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You said here in your letter to let you know of any contest, activites etc. Welllll..... I'm giving a contest
that is starting 12:00am WDC time August 18th and it will be going until Sept. 18th 12:00am WDC time.
This is my first contest that I'm giving. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could look it over and tell me if it's okay.
And if it is okay, tell me how to advertise it? Thank you.
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love
Cissy
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These are my thoughts of this piece only.
I think that this is a very nice dedication to your Mother by saying what you feel in free verse poetry style.
This is an emotional piece as well and you can feel the love that you have for your Mother in this poem.
Cherish your Mother and spend as much time with her that you can. I lost my Mother last year and
believe me when I say, you want to remember that you said that you loved her enough to make it
through losing a parent. It's easy to see that you do in this writing.
My favorite part:
I am your child, and I must say,
Don't join each battle thrown your way,
life was never ' win or lose ' , it's more
the way you spend your days....
Excellent! Keep writing!
Cissy
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I'm reviewing on behalf of Violet The Nun-MY POEMS R GONE of " Ye Trustworthy Pioneers " for being the winner of the raffle.
This was moving. I could feel how this little boy felt as I read this poem. You dear SW have a way with
pulling someone into your poems and make tham feel what you are saying. To me that is a great poet.
Very good free verse poem. Please remember that these are only my opinions. I see that your poetry
has improved in this latest one from others that I had read. Good flow to this one. Thank you for sharing.
your friend,
Cissy
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I am reviewing this on behalf of " Ye Trustworthy Pioneers " and for Violet The Nun-MY POEMS R GONE, as you were a winner in our Raffle.
This was a very moving piece. I can relate so very well. I had to do the same thing as a child. I was so
ashamed of the bruises that I had to carry around for the world to see. So my little white lie was, I was a
clutz . But everone knew. I hated facing people.
You tell this story so very well in free verse poetry style. Keep Writing!
Cissy
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Very good story. I liked the part where Elizabeth thought that her Birthday presents had been stolen.
and didn't realize that her birthday wasn't until the next day. You dear Michelle are a very good writer...
Keep writing!
" This review is on behalf of the Buddy Review of ABA "
Your buddy,
Cissy
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I can see why that other's ay that this would be a great novel that you could add to chapter by chapter.
This was an exciting read. Thank you so much for sharing your well written stories. I am in awe.
" These have been a buddy review "
Cissy
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WoW! You're good ! I really like this story. I am always drawn to thriller, mystery, horror books and this one has a little of it all. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. I saw no errors that I could see.
Cissy
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This is an excellent example of na Irish Ae Freslighe poem. I know that they are hard to do
but it seems that you have mastered it very well. Thank you for sharing your wonderful writing with us ALL.
Be well my friend,
Cissy
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Dr Taher, I just had to come by for a few minutes to see who I had been talking to and I've got to say...
you have a beautiful family. You ALL look very happy and Hannah is so beautiful! Your wife is as well.
You all looked very happy on your vacation. I like how you've got this layed out. thank you for sharing.
Your friend,
Cissy
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Okay, are you sure you're just 14 or is that magic also? This was an excellent story. I really
did like it and I also liked that it had a learning lesson to it as well. Never get to boastful about yourself
to think that no one can do as well as you yourself. Yes, I agree, being humble is more attractive.
For the magic that you preformed for one and ALL to enjoy, I thank you! What a great way to wake up
and start the day.
I'll be stopping by real soon and you can be sure that I'll spread your name far and wide for all to know
here at WDC.
Best of luck,
your friend,
Cissy
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" Reviewing on behalf of these groups "
Proud Member & supporter of these groups: Images In Ink, Traditional Poetry, Into The Dark, Inspirations, Affected by Abuse, The Heavenly Roses, WDC Angel Army, Adopt a ' newbie' Angel Army group, SCR Bank~ Earl, Author's Spotlight, Try Your Luck, A Flight in the Sky, Simply Positive, A-1 Writing Academy, WDC, TzRs, & YE Trustworthy Pioneers.
You Sir have been an utter pleasure to read during these Spotlight challenges. Thank you for entering
and making this a memorialble experience. I have thoroughly enjoyed everything that you have written
for this challenge and I will be looking forward to going to your port later on to read something else of your writings. Job well done
This is very good and it definately made me laugh. Thanks for the chuckle .
I could see this as a sitcom actually, and saw it playing in my mind of the voice she
was hearing and the conversation she was having while no one was in the room.
Loved the outcome. Keep writing! Well done!
Cissy
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You have such a beautiful way with words, and telling your story in poetry so well.
This is awesome! WOW! '93' huh?! You dear Kerik are an excellent poet, and I am
so glad that I got to be your buddy to be able to read your writings. Well done! Keep Writing!!!
Can't wait to see more.
Be well,
Cissy
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I like this... and I love the double meaning to it. Very good!!!
Before I got to the bottom of the page, I thought that it was a poem for your daughter.
Boy! did I ever feel stupid ... Okay, so you got me. hahahaha. Well done!
Keep writing!
I saw no errors in this, It has very good rhythm, rhyme and flow to it. And you suckered me
right into your story of a poem. I can't get over it, I just simply loved it!
I'm told that I am your buddy for now? I guess for a week? not sure really.
Be well my new friend.
Cissy
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These are some really sweet pictures of your little girl, Danielle. Weird, My youngest daughter's middle name is Danielle. She's grown though. Thank you for sharing your precious Danielle here.
Be well my friend,
Cissy
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I like this Nizza, it's a very good free verse poem. I like the story that you're telling in it. Have you ever thought about writing these in a short story form? It would make very good chapters to a novel.
I think that all of these series here you could write as a book and do them chapter by chapter.
Just a thought. Keep writing!
Cissy
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Proud Member & supporter of these groups: Images In Ink, Traditional Poetry, Into The Dark, Inspirations, Affected by Abuse, The Heavenly Roses, WDC Angel Army, Adopt a ' newbie' Angel Army group, SCR Bank~ Earl, Author's Spotlight, Try Your Luck, A Flight in the Sky, Simply Positive, A-1 Writing Academy, WDC, TzRs, & YE Trustworthy Pioneers.
You touched my heart with this piece. It gave me chill bumps! Excellent writing!!!!
Perfect ! Emotional, deep, and true for so many of us ... very nice free verse, with an excellence of rhythm, rhyme. and I just love the sentence structure that you used. Perfect for this poem.
Be well
Cissy
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This is heartbreaking. What's weird is I carry guilt around about my mom. I know now that I couldn't help
what had happened but, my brother make me feel that I was a bad person, just because I was unable
to be there when she died last year. This is an excellent letter which I am sure that he has seen
you write to him. I can feel that he is proud of you for what you have accomplished in writing this, and to let the guilt go. I pray that one day you will. I know first hand that guilt will consume you. Please don't let this happen to you.
Be Well
Cissy
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Hi Jen, this is very good. You explain a look into the dark side very well.
sounds like you have been there in your thoughts yourself. I have too.
This just my opinion, and only my opinion... you the Author are the one that this has to please
and no one else... a suggestion? You have good rhythm, rhyme... it has a nice flow too, but...
the sentence structure is a little off in two places. In the forth stanza, first line it is a little long.
If there is a way to shorten it up a little and still say what you want to say it would look and
sound even better. Same with the sixth stanza, first line. A little long for the rest of the poem.
Sweetie if these two place were fixed you would have a perfect poem.
The part I like the best? last stanza = Follow me and scream into the darkness,
live forever and ever together."
I've been in this darkness a lot, I can relate to this very well. Keep Writing!!!
OMG! Mysty, What an awesome poem!!! WOW! What feeling that you have put into this.
No errors that I can see, Great rhyme, rhythm and an easy flow to it. Very good sentance structure.
Are you SURE you're a " Newbie " here You my dear are very good.
I can't wait to read more of your writings. Keep Writing!!!
Oh my GOD !!!!! What a heart breaking story. I know what all of you have given up to make sure that
we back here in the states are still free. I wanted to join when I was younger but they wouldn't take me because of medical reasons. It made me mad. I understand, really I do. I had a half brother that came
back from D'nang from the Vietnam War... he hasn't been the same since. I heard stories that made me afraid to go to sleep at night from those stories. I was thriteen then. I'm so sorry that you lost people that you loved that became your family over there. Most of all... I'm sorry that you even had to go through it!
I pray one day that you will be able to sleep again at night without waking up with fear stuck in your
throat. If your family loves you ( and I'm sure they do...) they will help you and understand what you're
going through.
Praying that you see peace once more very soon my dear Hero and honored friend
Peace be with you!
I wish you all ... Peace of mind, calmness of your spirit, joy over flowing, happiness in your heart, abundance of health and strength, and Love for the rest of your days.
Be Well my family and friends here at WDC.
Cissy
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Proud Member & supporter of these groups: Images In Ink, Traditional Poetry, Into The Dark, Inspirations, Affected by Abuse, The Heavenly Roses, WDC Angel Army, Adopt a ' newbie' Angel Army group, SCR Bank~ Earl, Author's Spotlight, Try Your Luck, A Flight in the Sky, Simply Positive, A-1 Writing Academy, WDC, TzRs, & YE Trustworthy Pioneers.
Dear Callie,
First of all let me say that anyone would want ot read this without you giving away any gift points for them
to read it. The reason I say this is because... I am a hard one to sell on reading stories. Poetry is my
thing. Second, I DO read a lot of books... but as I said, it's hard to get me to read them... unless you grab me right from the start. Well, you sure managed to do just * that* ! Excellent!
In my honest opinion, and realize it is only " my " opinion... If I were you? I'd keep writing this story.
In fact.... I can't wait to read the next addition to this story So how about it? You going to get that
pen fired up and write another story after this one? Hey, come on you got to
You got me chomping at the bit here .
So tell me what happenes to Madison? Does she really have to go to boarding school? Does it take another turn and she runs away from home? Does her Mother and Father get the divorce? Does anyone care how Madison is feeling? I mean, my " GOD "! Her mother didn't even
blink an eye when she told her that a mountain lion had attacked her horse and she got bucked off.
See???? you got me going here and I just have to find out! Soooooo.....
Come on, give already ! Tell me the rest.
I'm SO glad that I happened upon your story... way to go ! KEEP WRITING !!!!!!
Your new friend ,
Cissy
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Proud Member & supporter of these groups: Images In Ink, Traditional Poetry, Into The Dark, Inspirations, Affected by Abuse, The Heavenly Roses, WDC Angel Army, Adopt a ' newbie' Angel Army group, SCR Bank~ Earl, Author's Spotlight, Try Your Luck, A Flight in the Sky, Simply Positive, A-1 Writing Academy, WDC, TzRs, & YE Trustworthy Pioneers.
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I was over come with emotion as I read your
This was an excellent story. I really
"
... Okay, so you got me. hahahaha. Well done!
Keep Writing!!! 
Your ' new ' friend