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26
26
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Incredibly hilarious and so true! I think I'll be buying shoes for my next purchase of underware. *Smile* You should name this Bras and Speed bumps. Ha. "Gravity is a cruel mistress" So true are your words. Thanks for the great read.

Itchy Water signature
"A Poem A Day Contest " Open in new Window.
27
27
Review of Kunti  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from Itchy Water. This review is intended to be a positive critique of your work. You may respectfully accept or reject any or all of the advice provided. Remember you are the author of this work, and only you know what is best suited for your work.


TITLE:
*Right*I'm not sure about the title, "Kunti". It is too broad in my opinion. I think the title should be something like 'Kunti's Secret' or Kunti's Mantra" for clarity.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
*Right*This is a poem about a powerful secret the girl, Kunti, wished she'd hadn't heard.

WHAT I LIKED MOST:

*Right*"I was a girl / With a little secret trapped inside"..."I am a secret / With a little girl trapped inside," The beginning and the ending are great.

*Right*I liked how you portrayed the secret by visually changing the format.

SUGGESTIONS:

*Pencil* FLOW/RHYTHM/RHYME: *Pencil*

*Right*No set meter or rhyme. The poem flows ok.

*Right*Good use of alliteration

*Pencil*LINE-BY-LINE EDIT:*Pencil*

"She took it in her arms,"
*Right*The poem is written in 1st person. This line changes to third. According to pattern it should read:
I took it in my arms,

*Right*However, I suggest writing the first part in third person. And the second part in first person. See next comment.

*Right*Since you changed the format for the secret, I suggest giving a voice to the secret.
So I, the secret grew...Till I was satisfied...While tormenting...I became formless...Having hardened...So now, you see, / I am a secret...


*Right*Example
She was a girl
With a little secret trapped inside,
Begging to be let out.

She stayed silent as stone
For voice would give it immortality;
And words would only
Catch it, capture it, crystallize its edges.

Let it remain a hazy wisp;
She'd bury it deeper and deeper,
Till it might not have
Ever even existed at all.

But time did not suffocate her secret;
Time did not snuff it out.
She took it in her arms,
Cradling, crooning, caressing it fondly.

Her traitorous thoughts, her disloyal dreams
Would not let it go.
They turned it over,
Swarming , Swimming, snaking around it.

  So I, the secret grew
   Stronger,   Sharper
      Starker
  Livid
      Larger than life
   Till I was satisfied, sated
       Settled.
  While she is tormented;   tossing
               twisting,
     The formless,
             formidable fury
    Having hardened into bars-
          Icicles-
       Whose coldness clasp a gaze.
 
 I am a secret.
 With a little girl trapped inside,
      
      Begging to be let out.




Rising Stars Member to Member Reviewing Sig
Itchy Water signature
"A Poem A Day Contest " Open in new Window.
28
28
Review of Strawberry  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Special Power Reviewers review


Comments:


Hi eyestar I'm just dropping by to review a poem of yours. I like the title "Stawaberry". It is very fitting.

The lanterne form is a little off because the first verse/word is not centered with the rest of the verses. It is standing all alone. You might want to fix that.

Other than the technical error, I see nothing else wrong with the poem. I think you did a good job at your first attempt at a Lanterne poem. *Smile*

I am glad I got to read this poem of yours.




Itchy Water signature
"A Poem A Day Contest " Open in new Window.
29
29
Review of What you left.  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A Poem a Day review


The Prompt
No Prompt

Comments:


This is a very good poem. Though there is no meter, you use punctuation in a manner that makes the poem flow well.

The first thing that I look at as a reader is the title. Why does the title have a period? "What you left." I suggest omitting the period. The second thing I noticed was the entire poem is in quotes. This made me wonder if you were quoting another persons work. I suggest omitting the quotes, they are not needed and are awkward. The poem is not a dialogue. If it were you would need to have a tag.

Overall, I really thought this was a great poem. My favorite line was "I would never leave him in replace of a stone." The imagery there is profound. It stops you in your tracks and makes you think of a little boy growing up without a mother.

I am so glad I got to read this. I think with just a few tweaks to this poem this can be an outstanding piece.

Thank you for entering the A Poem a Day contest. I hope you keep sharing your work. You have a talent.




Itchy Water signature
"A Poem A Day Contest " Open in new Window.
30
30
Review of To Let You Go  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a review from Itchy Water. This review is intended to be a positive critique of your work. You may respectfully accept or reject any or all of the advice provided. Remember you are the author of this work, and only you know what is best suited for your work.


FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
*Right* This is a Shakespearean Sonnet about love.

WHAT I LIKED MOST:
*Right*The meter and the rhyme is outstanding. You applied the traditional iambic pentameter with ease.

"But even to this day I love you so
So much that I shall dare to let you go"
*Right*This ending is profound. When we love someone, we only want to be with that person. Yet, when we love someone we want what is best for that person. You have eloquently described the pain that occurs when one lets another go in the name of love.

SUGGESTIONS:

I usually have suggestions, however, I have none for this poem. I think the wording is great. The imagery is there. The formatting is perfect. The emotion is felt. No spelling errors.

OVERALL:

*Right*This poem is a great Shakespearean Sonnet. It begins with the sadness of a broken heart. Then, it turns to the "artificial bliss" of desire. And finally, the realization that he must give her up. This is a great love story.



Itchy Water signature
"A Poem A Day Contest " Open in new Window.
WDC POWER REVIEWERS
31
31
Review of Gravity  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What an amazing piece this is!*Inlove*

Atom to atom, the force of attraction, the force of gravity, it is all in the name of love. Whose love? God's love. We are because of Him. His love for us makes the world go round. It makes the currents flow in the massive oceans. It makes the vapors condense into rain clouds which feed our streams. His love attracts.

Beautiful and insightful poem!

Thank you for sharing

Itchy Water
"A Poem A Day Contest " Open in new Window.
Banner for A Poem A Day contest

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
32
32
Review of A Frozen Winter  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from Itchy Water. This review is intended to be a positive critique of your work. You may respectfully accept or reject any or all of the advice provided. Remember you are the author of this work, and only you know what is best suited for your work.


FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
*Right*This is a great example of a Shakespearean Sonnet.

WHAT I LIKED MOST:
*Right*I loved the ending. We always want what we can't or don't have. Once gone she wishes for the beauty she overlooked, as she focused on the pain the cold months brought.

SUGGESTIONS:

*Pencil*GRAMMAR/TONE/RHYME:*Pencil*

*Right*The rhythm of the poem is supurb!

"My soul has made my body icy stones,"
*Right*This comma should be a period or semicolon

"The grip it holds me with won’t let me free,
It bears its icy claws into my skin."
*Right*These are two separte sentence. I suggest changing "It bears" to 'bearing', or putting a period between the sentences
The grip it holds me with won't let me free,
Bearing its icy claws into my skin.

"Instead I cleanse my body and my soul"
*Right*Need a comma after "Instead"
Instead, I clease my body and my soul

"Rebirth and purifying makes us whole"
*Right*The word "Rebirth" should be 'Rebirthing' for the verbs to be in agreement. Also, a period or semicolon is needed at the end if the verse.
Rebirthing and purifying makes us whole.

"The spring has come to warm my frosty limbs"
*Right*This verse needs a comma at the end.

*Right*The rhyme is good throughout; however, there are two different parts that don't rhyme.
         *Right*First, the words "free" and "monotony" don't rhyme because the last stressed syllable for "monotony" is the "o" in 'tony'. A word that rhymes with monotony is botony. Some words for free are three, sea, degree, enrollee.
         *Right*Next, the words "limbs" and "miss" don't rhyme because of the stressed consonants in "limbs" make a different sound than that of "miss". Some words that rhyme with "limbs" are swims, rims, dims. Some words that rhyme with "miss" are abyss, dismiss, kiss, bliss. Do you see the difference? I hope this helps.

*Pencil* STORY: *Pencil*

"My soul has made my body icy stones,"..."It bears its icy claws into my skin."
*Right*I wonder if your "soul" has made your body into "icy stones" or if the "icy claws" have made you into "icy stones"

"And fear the warmth will never let me in."
*Right*This line is confusing. Where do you fear the warmth won't let you in at? The Spring time? Or, do you mean you fear your body will not let the warmth in?

"I feel compressed by life’s monotony"
*Right*I don't understand the context of this statement. It seems out of place.

*Right*It is in my opinion that since spring time makes you whole with "rebirth" and purification, the poem needs to mention how winter makes you feel unwhole, etc. Otherwise the "baptism", "youth" "sacramental truth" and so on sounds like a separate poem, there needs more to connect the two parts of the poem. --Only my humble opinion.

OVERALL:

*Right*Overall, I think you have a good poem here. The structure is great. I think there is room for improvement. But that can be done with a little editing.

Thank you for sharing this poem. Keep on writing, you have a talant.


Itchy Water
"A Poem A Day Contest " Open in new Window.
Banner for A Poem A Day contest

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
33
33
Review of The Last Pages  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from Itchy Water. The advice provided are only the opinions of one person. This review is intended to be a positive critique of your work. You may respectfully accept or reject any or all of the advice provided. Remember you are the author of this work, and only you know what is best suited for your work.


FIRST IMPRESSIONS: This is a free verse poem with layers of different meanings.

WHAT I LIKED MOST:
*Right*I really liked the poem as a whole. I found the various meanings intriguing.

"Through your saintly or ungodly days…"
*Right*The whole poem seemed to be centered around morals. There is always someone to guide you towards righteousness, and there is always someone to guide you towards ungodliness. "Failure, frustration, and losing" can be a good thing when you are being guided into "ungodly days"

SUGGESTIONS:

*Pencil*GRAMMAR/SPELLING:*Pencil*

"Failure, frustration, and losing –
The deathly and volatile signs assured of those
Most consumed by their ambivalence, prejudice, and pride –
Depend rather heavily on the poor judgment of their victims…"
*Right*I suggest changing "Depend" to 'Depends'.
*Right*I noticed you used en dashes on the 1st and 3rd verses. In poetry, for long pauses, you should use an em dash, not the en dash. Sounds confusing I know. Some computer programs will automatically create the em dash when you make two en dashes together, however most programs wont. So to create an em dash hold down the ALT key and type 0151.
*Right*In this first stanza the third person is used when the word "those" and "their" is used. However, you change to first person later in the poem, using the word "you". I suggest sticking with the first person throughout the poem.
"Failure, frustration, and losing —
The deathly and volatile signs that are
Most consumed by your ambivalence, prejudice, and pride —
Depends rather heavily on the poor judgment of your victims . . .

"Never learn too quickly or play too loosely;
Apply grace, wisdom, and flexible strategies
To gain one’s proper acceptance and acknowledgment"
*Right*Something needs to be added to the words "learn" "play" "Apply". It's up to you as the writer, but it can be an 's' or 'ing' or 'ed'.
Never learning too quickly or playing too loosely;
Applying grace, wisdom, and flexible strategies
Or
Never learns too quickly or plays too loosely;
Applies grace wisdom, and flexible strategies

"This will earn you the respect of those"
*Right*The tense changes here by using the words "will earn".
This earns you the respect of those

"This will earn you the respect of those
Wise and candid business folks
Whose sporty brokering and enticing mettle
You shall depend on most to guide you
Through your saintly or ungodly days…"
*Right* I suggest a comma after "folks".
*Right*These first two verses are confusing. "You shall depend on most" is not clear in this context.
This will earn you the respect of those
Wise and candid business folks,
Whose sporty brokering and enticing mettle
You shall be dependent upon for their guidance
Through your saintly or ungodly days. . .

*Pencil* STORY: *Pencil*

*Right*Throughout the poem the POV and tense changes.


OVERALL:

*Right*Overall, I think this is a fascinating poem. It reminds me of my days working in office environment. It also it reminds me of the everyday struggle to do right.

*Right*This poem has true depth. The meaning may not be easily seen on the surface, but if you dig into this poem and cause yourself to think about the office, bowling and life, then this poem will serve as a true treasure.

Thank you for sharing this poem. Write on!


*Vine2* Answering your request for a review on behalf of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.! *Vine1*


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34
34
Review of War and Peace  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from Itchy Water. The advice provided are only the opinions of one person. This review is intended to be a positive critique of your work. You may respectfully accept or reject any or all of the advice provided. Remember you are the author of this work, and only you know what is best suited for your work.


FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
*Right*This is a modern Villanelle poem.

WHAT I LIKED MOST:
*Right*The Aba/aba/aba/aba/aba/abaa structure is upheld with fluidity.

"Despite the selfish spirit I abhor
I yearn to hear elusive songs of peace
Surrounded in this world of constant war."
*Right*This verse is so telling of our inner devils we war with, and the opposing peace we crave. This is wonderfully stated.

SUGGESTIONS:

*Pencil*GRAMMAR/SPELLING:*Pencil*

"Despite the selfish spirit I abhor
I yearn to hear elusive songs of peace"
*Right*Two commas are needed.
Despite the selfish spirit I abhor,
I yearn to hear elusive songs of peace,

"Discouraged, we continue to police
Confounded by a world of constant war."
*Right*A comma is needed.
Discouraged, we continue to police,
Confounded by a world of constant war.

"There must be still some undiscovered shore
Where hope can find a modicum of peace
*Right*One period and two commas needed.
There must be, still, some undiscovered shore
Where hope can find a modicum of peace.

"Surrounded by a world of constant war
A tainted human flaw I must endure."
*Right*Comma after needed after "war". I suggest using one between "flaw" and "I" for emphasis.
Surrounded by a world of constant war,
A tainted human flaw, I must endure.

*Pencil* STORY: *Pencil*

*Right*None

OVERALL:

*Right*The title "War and Peace" is a great choice for this poem.

*Right*The poem speaks loud and clear, We are a people of war. But at the same time, We are a people who seek peace. You bring to light the two conflicting ideas embeded into our beings.

Great Job! Thanks for sharing and write on.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this! Thanks for sharing this weath of information.
36
36
Review of Fear  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
This is a review by Itchy Water. This is only the opinion of one person. All of the advice provided is given to assist and in a positive manner. You may respectfully accept or reject any or all of the advice provided below.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
*Right* I can feel the emotions of the poet. The poem seems as though the poet is writing from his heart.

*Right*"fear herself more than the killings in the street" a great analogy of what fear can do to a person, how fear of oneself can change their whole outlook on life.

SUGGESTIONS:

*Pencil*GRAMMAR/SPELLING:*Pencil*

"she fear herself more than the killings in the street"
*Right*This is a great line but "fear" and "street" both need an 's' on the end
she fears herself more than the killings in the streets

Ayla .K. Jones?
*Right*First, the period before the "K" is a typo. Secondly, the question mark is misplaced. If you are wanting to pause here, put an ellipses.
Ayla K. Jones . . .
OR just
Ayla K. Jones
where are you?

Invited a fake Ayla to take her place,for now
*Right*This verse doesn't make sense.
Invited in a fake, Ayla, to take her place, for now

What about the real Ayla.......
*Right*This is a question. A question mark is needed, not ellipses.

If she doesn't love herself...what makes you think she love you?
*Right*A great thought here but again, an ellipses is used where it shouldn't be. Here a comma is nessecary. Also, a word missing " you think she love you" doesn't make sense.
If she doesn't love herself, what makes you think she can love you?

I believe she tried of trying to make herself into the person she wish so hard to be
*Right*Little things can change the meaning of a sentence. The way the sentence is written now does not make sense. But I think I know what you are saying.
I believe she is tired of trying to make herself into the person she wished so hard to be

If she don't know know who she is
*Right*This is just wrong.
If she doesn't know now who she is

*Right*Puncutation is needed in this poem. It is used sporatically and incorrectly. For instance, there is an ellipses but there are too many dots. Also, at the end of the poem there are 7 question marks when only one is necessary.

*Pencil* STORY: *Pencil*

"love life friends family"
*Right*The description doesn't fit the poem

*Right*The story is hard to understand because of the grammatical errors. These must be fixed in order for a reader to understand the storyline.

OVERALL:
*Right*I believe that this poem has some good depth to it, however the depth is hard for the reader to understand because of the grammatical errors.

*Right* I believe that is can be fixed into an a great poem. I want to read about someone who fears themself more that the killings in the street. I want to know what happens.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write on!
37
37
Review of The Box of Toys  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a review by Itchy Water. This is only the opinion of one person. You have the option of respectfully accepting or rejecting any and all of the advice in this review. The review is written with honesty and positivity.

WHAT I LIKED MOST:
*Right*I enjoyed reading this poem because it made me think of my grandparents. My brother and I had a box of toys at their home. Once we grew older the box went into their attic. This story is so true to most families.


SUGGESTIONS:
*Right*"Left to play by doting parents,"
This is just a suggestion
Left to play from their doting parents

*Right*"While our hostess serves some tea,"
I'm not sure that the word "our" is correct here
While the perfect hostess serves some tea,

*Right*"Both boy and girl’s friends carefree."
This verse is very awkward and I'm not sure what it means. The word "both" indicate two. The phrase "boy and girl's friends" is not clear.
Both boys and girls play so carefree.

*Right*"This wife and mom must object"
Again, like the word "our", the word "this" does not sound right here
The wife and mom must object

*Right* To be honest, the fourth stanza breaks the flow of the poem. The way it is written sounds as though it was written to make words rhyme, there is no imagery here. Perhaps it has been over revised?



OVERALL:
*Right*I liked the concept of the poem. The imagery was good with the exception of the fourth stanza. I think it is a good poem but could use just a little more revising.

Thank you for sharing
Itchy Water
38
38
Review of Stop  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a review by Itchy Water. It is only the opinion of one person. You can respectfully accept or reject any and all of the advice given below. All reviews are written with honesty and positivity.

WHAT I LIKED MOST:
*Right*The reader could really feel the angst in the girl. I also liked the usage of the words stop and start to express the level of simplicity the girl is wanting. She wants all of the unnessecary chaos and noise to stop, and desires only a helpful, uplifting world.


SUGGESTIONS:

*Right*"Stop with judging, / And criticizing. "
Stop your judging. / Stop your criticising OR
Stop with the judging. / Stop with the criticising


*Right* "Stop with your vain words. / And pretending,"
Stop with the vain words. / Stop the pretending


*Right*You probably wrote 'and' to break up the lines beginning with 'stop'. I think each that verb should start with 'Stop'. You should break up the lines by adding why they need to be stopped. For example:

Stop with the judging
We all have our faults
Stop with the criticising
We are who we are
Stop with the vain words
Words that clog our ears
Stop the pretending
Do you even know who you are



*Right*"Stop thinking we're fine,"
This line does not make sense. You later say:
"Stop making us think we, ourselves are not okay."



*Right*At first I thought you were talking about politics, then as I read on I became unsure as to who you were talking about. The FCC? You need to make it clear as to who you are talking about. Who is it that"push us around"?


*Right*"The girl solemnly whispers to the world."
I might not be correct here, but I believe this line contradicts the beginning of the poem and the tone of the poem. In the beginning I imagined a girl with her hands raised above her symbolically speaking.
" The gentle hands
Softly speak to the world,
Raised far above her head,"
And the tone is so forceful, I wouldn't use the term"whispers."


OVERALL:
*Right*I enjoyed reading your poem. I think it needs some work. There is so much passion in the poem already, any changes can only make it better.

Itchy Water
39
39
Review of Vanishing  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice poem with interesting thought and great imagery
40
40
Review of pictures  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi I am Itchywater and am providing a detailed review of your work. Please note that what I provide is just my opinion. Feel free to respectfully accept or reject my advice.

WHAT I LIKED THE MOST:
I liked your poem a lot. So many people, myself included, are so quick to determine their future abilities by thier past successes and failures. This poem gives readers hope and reminds readers that new memories CAN be made for a new and different type of future.

SUGGESTIONS:

"its memories now"
*Right*The first word needs to be capitalized, and the word "Its" does not fit here. Perhaps if you add an apostrophe for "It is" and add the word "the" it would be fitting. Also, memories would be singular, as you are creating one memory at a time.
It's the memory now OR
It's the memory I create now

"we need to focus";"We can still"
*Right* Who is we? You said "As I looked" and "I recalled" and "wishing I could" and "I can't" , now you switched to "we need" and "we can". This is very confusing. You need to continue with "I". Also, the word "NOW" is redundant is ruins the flow. You do not need the second "NOW " in the poem. See my example.

It's the memory I create now,
I need to focus on
as I move on...
I can still change the OR my future.


OVERALL:

I found this piece to be very inspirational. The reader could feel the emotion of the writer. Although there were a few technicalities to be fixed, the message could still be relayed to the reader. Thank you for sharing this.

Itchywater

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
41
41
Review of A Sonnet of Hope  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am happy to review your poem; however, you must note that my comments and suggestions are only my opinions. You are the author and only you can decide what is best for your work.


Things I liked:

*Notev*"That puzzling portal perched on in-between"

*Notev*"Her fickle nature causing indecision,"

*Notev* I really liked the way you personified hope. You did a good job describing how hope affects us.


Suggestions:
*Notev*The second stanza, second line: "I hesitate, to ponder..." This comma is not necessary in the sentance as it is written. You could write " I hesitate, pondering..."

*Notev*The third stanza, first line: the word "confess" breaks up the rythym because it rhymes with "unrest" the d, it is too much unessary ryhming and sounds awkward. Try "I must admit" or the like.

*Notev*The last two lines of the third stanza don't make sense to me. I don't understand what you are saying here. They seem out of place. Perhaps you could clarify.

Overall:
You adhered to the Shakesperean Sonnet perfectly; abab, cdcd,efef, gg.
The poem was beautiful and had a clear message of hope. I particularly like the personification of hope because it allows the reader to view hope in a different light. Hope is good, but it can be scary. Hope is a journey, a journey into the unknown.

Itchywater

Angel Army Signature 9
42
42
Review of The Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Angel Army,
I would like to become a member. Please sign me up. My birthday is July, 29.

Thanks!
43
43
Rated: E | (3.0)
Please note, these are only my suggestions and opinions. I mean no offense by them.

I like what you are trying to say but the meaning is hard to find. "the questions Man has asked" what questions?
Here is my suggestion:
Sometimes I wonder; all the questions Mankind has ever asked--philosophical, polital, religious,etc. The more I ponder and cogitate, the more I become bitter and irate. And then I'm struck by consolation. Perhaps, just perhaps, we are only here to wonder.
I have underlined the portions that I feel are most crucial.

I like this idea. I think you can lengthen it, discussing the subject out into a poem.
44
44
Review of I Am  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think this is a beautiful poem. I want to sing to it, it has such great rhythm,and of course rhyme. But it tells a story of imperfection that is perfect, a story about defeating sterotypes, a story about overcoming.
It says a lot to the reader who wants to hear. Thanks for letting me read this.
Itchywater
45
45
Review of Well Worn Book  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
tmyt,
This is a lovely poem that shines a light on true Christianity. I like how were able to express God's love and mercy to the readers in unique and a tranquil way. The poem also illustrates how powerful the Word of God can be if we would just read it consistantly, as the woman in your poem does. I did not find errors to point out within the poem. However, the subtitle mentions the poem is about a religious women and her thoughts, but the poem does not really contain any personal thoughts only cause and effect (ex She cries for the joy of being loved unconditionally).
Overall this poem is well written and has a very powerful meaning. Thank you for sharing this with me, it is truely an inspiring poem.
-Itchywater
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