*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/entername5312
Review Requests: ON
58 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next
1
1
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is very useful guide
2
2
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This is a cute and heartwarming short story. Not a lot to it, I'll admit but what is there is well written
3
3
Review of Erase  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
The whole poem does a good job comparing life to writing. It has a sad tone full of regret and sorrow. I like how you put an emphasis on the word erase. It emphasizes the feeling of regret. The message is clear and relate-able. The only suggestion I have if to change the ending to
"
I wanna erase...

because it's always there...
"
Well done on this poem
4
4
Review of Mess  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very uplifting poem. Flowed pretty nicely so that's a plus. As far as I'm concerned this poem should get 5 stars
5
5
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (4.5)
Shows the sad world in which we lived in. The message is clear and to the point. The first paragraph did't flow as well as the other paragraphs.
Overall great piece
6
6
Review of Why?  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well made piece. I was at the edge of my seat as I read through this story. Loved how you added so much suspense. The descriptions were great. I think you could have made/shown Paul fight/run a little more instead of having it cut like that but overall well done
7
7
Review of The Flower I was.  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (3.0)
Nice warm cozy piece
However while I liked the rymes, I felt like the length of the line kills the flow
8
8
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
It flowed nicely. Just think the format is a bit suspect for me. Love the word choices though especially in the beginning. If you enter inbetween some of the paragraphs it might flow much better.

Example instead of
Terror-filled but still undaunted, by the horrors hid within.
choose
Terror-filled but still undaunted
by the horrors hid within.

Overall great piece
9
9
Review of awake  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Interesting. I can definitely relate to the whole addicted to sleep. A little bit more emotional description though would go a long way to improve the story. That's what I think anyway. Good foundation
10
10
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (2.0)
I'm a bit confused what your trying to say by this piece. I want to give it a better rating but I need to understand the piece more
11
11
Review of Lab Rats  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (2.5)
While I think this story is a good start, I think it could be prolonged and expanded a little bit. Also at times I don't know who's talking which is a little frustrating.

All in all the idea is really interesting but I feel you didnt take full advantage of the idea you came up with. Keep writing and improving with every story
12
12
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (4.0)
It was well described piece. I actually cried as I read your feelings about love. Not many works can do that to me.

The only thing that kind of threw me for a spin was all the words in all caps. I felt they took away from an otherwise perfect work of art.

To a piece well done
13
13
Review of Just A Baby  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice poem about a baby entering a dark world. I don't know if it was intended this way but I kinda started singing the words in my head. That pretty much means that it flows really nicely. If it actually becomes a song, I'll be intrested in hearing it someday.
Nice job
14
14
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (3.5)
Once upon a time there was a king of a castle. Everyday,he ate his favorite soup. One day,his favorite soup was not on the table. Because of that,he went to every kitchen staff to ask them about his soup. Until finally,one of them admitted to eating the soup that was supposed to be on the table.
15
15
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (4.5)
Is this a true story? I was a little confused about the "Click on picture to collect." Great descriptions of the events that unfolded. They left no room to question except for who committed the crime. I figure that we aren't supposed to know who did it.
Only problem is if its a real story then be clear up front about it. If it's not a real story then remove the bottom part of the story
Good writing
16
16
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (3.5)
Agreed with this message never ever touch drugs. Also I put a summary down below to help.
I like how this piece brings awareness to an issue that many overlook. I also noticed a ryme pattern. I think this piece could use a little more description or shortened sentences so the rymes stand out. Well done

Overall

The message is inspiring
The ryming was there
Some added descriptions or shortened sentences

Hope that helps
17
17
Review of Attraction  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (2.0)
I'm a little confused what your trying to say. Maybe it's because I just don't understand the format. I would try to connect the words. Ok just ask for the gift point reward back
18
18
Review of Just Between Us  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very intresting piece. The character development is top notch. I could feel the fear in the main character and I really want to know her secret which is probably something that her dad did. Definitely worth a lot of praise.
19
19
Review of Lost  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (3.0)
Interesting dynamics going on here
20
20
Review of Disposition  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (3.5)
Interesting very uplifting probably could use tweaks here and there but I'm going to let the expert decide (you)
21
21
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
So I think I had a good feel for the story. Overall well done. A bit confusing in the beginning. Maybe a bit more explaining could've helped with that. So I think it was interesting alot of big words especially in the beginning. I had to look a few words up. Maybe use simpler language. This is a story not a research paper. I'm not an expert at this but that's my take on the story. Hope it helps. If it doesn't you can have whatever GP I get from this review. Just have to request it.
22
22
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (3.5)
Interesting shows how tough writing can be at times. Most writers go thru this though at least all who get stuff done
23
23
Review of The Unhappy Wife  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
It was riveting. That last part was a definite twist. This story didn't earn its 18+ rating. It also didn't explain why she wanted to kill her husband. I can take some guesses but that just seems like to much of an important part not to include. From reading it, it seems like she killed him for not letting her into that room
24
24
Review of I love hate you  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (2.5)
You must hate peanut butter that much
25
25
Review of Sweet Sixteen  
Review by EnterName5312
Rated: E | (3.0)
Kept me reading till the end which means its good. The format could use a little reworking but overall good job.
39 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 2 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/entername5312