I would give you the scholarship! Oh ... my advice just look in a mirror... you might not recognize the beautiful soul you truly are.... yet. keep looking .
We are one thought away from true humanity. I remember the quote: "it's the darkest before dawn". Yet the traces of past human mistakes leave no question of what we are capable of destroying. I have always thought that the human race isn't meant to stay here forever. And that mother earth is our cradle not our pen.
What I liked: I enjoyed reading your history about your stay here. I love this site too. I wore a yellow case before I left eight years ago. I missed the community. And I am happy to be back.
What I liked: I like that you are married and have cats.
Points to ponder: First: this was written a few years ago and last modified in 2021. I wonder why you want it reviewed.
Second: How do you know my magic lamp is defective?
Thirdly: Even though I believe differently about this subject than you I think your writing was clear.
The sentence, “Thus fulfilling your wish or dream.” Doesn’t feel like a complete sentence to me. (Just my opinion, because my word editor is not red lining it.)
“It is up to each and every one of us” could simply be each of us
And the last word “anymore” could be omitted.
It is hard for me to do this rating because I don't wish to discourage you. I love giving higher scores. But since you haven't recently made modifications and you still want a review; I feel it's the right choice for me.
OMG did you know... you wrote what I am ...That is me. Well, when I feel that way. I have a secret. I'll share with you. we are NEVER really alone. Well maybe we are. We are one.
About your poem:
I don't know a lot about poetry forms but I recognize the pattern. I loved how you pulled it all together. Excellent! Thank you for sharing. It moved me more than you know.
Hi There Tyler,
What I liked: This story reminded me of a campfire ghost story of my youth. The suspense you built was awesome. Every paragraph takes the reader deeper into your mind / woven story. The first sentence ROCKS and the entire first paragraph sets the hook. Splendid!
I loved the following because they say so much with so little:
"mom could mooch off her newest boyfriends"
"heart was kicking double bass pedals"
Points to ponder: conserns When you switch the light switch....if you were telling this story you would have people yelling at you.... Harper House is old and empty
Keep on writing!
I Love to eat so this was fun to get a random review for your pasta salad.
Overall: I liked it. I believe I could follow your directions.
Area of concern: Well, you did say we were stuffing the shells several times. and "I do it this or that way." A clear, more commanding voice might be better.
Keep on writing!
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