I have to be honest, I love this! You had me hooked right from the start - I needed to know why your character was saying good bye. The story was a little longer than I expected it to be. But that's ok, because it was not 'too' long at all.
The story certainly does a great job of illustrating exactly how reliant we are on the internet and technology these days. Twitter was 'down' the other day and the number of people who were stumped because they couldn't go on Twitter to find out what was up with Twitter was astonishing!
Thank you for the entertaining and well thought out read, keep writing!
I enjoyed this, its very simple to understand and easy to read.
You say this is 'season 2' so I'm guessing there is a background story, ahead of where we come in. Therefore, I would suggest some kind of preface, so we don't just jump in straight off.
There are a few basic grammatical and punctuation mistakes [including layout - but that may be down to website formatting], but its nothing a touch of proofreading wouldn't fix [either by you or, even better, someone else].
I am not sure whether this style of poetry is unique or not, since my poetry education is somewhat limited, I am sorry to say. However, I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I found it to be a very clever way to get all the terrible ordeals of asylums and imprisonment into one piece of writing, with out having to produce a much longer and more detailed description.
At first I obviously read each poem individually and thought they were pretty good by themselves, then I established what you meant by reading all three together. And to be honest, I thought they were even better this way.
My only comment, or bit I didn't like, would be in the 2nd poem:
'The drugs
They burned'
And this is only because I read it as "the drugs - they burned" so it didn't flow as well as I would have liked. Nevertheless, when reading all three together as one, it works perfectly.
I really enjoyed this! I, myself, have been driven crazy by noises and flashing lights etc - although i cant say its ever put me in debt/hospital before!
I'll be honest, because it made me smile, I cannot decide if it was too long/detailed or not. There were a few moments when i thought 'get to it now' but i think they were cured by another bout of humour!
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