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76
76
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: As part of your "Invalid Item"  package *Smile*

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
An interesting title that makes me want to read on and find out what a "Reality Scholar" really is.

The best bits:
This item starts off extremely well because of the way the author chooses to describe, in detail, exactly what the main characters can see before him. For a reader, is really important and helpful if we are able to use the writer's words to build up a strong image in our mind. This really helped the story unfold for me.

I really like the concept of this item. It is original, creative and intriguing. I have been left wanting to read on and wanting to know mire. Thus, I really hope you find it in you to continue this story.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “A new reality. I will make a new reality,” have you considered a colon instead of a fullstop after the first reality – “A new reality: I will make a new reality,”

Here: “response in return I ask” I’d recommend a comma after ask – “response in return I ask,”

Here: “who died, and go from their?” this uses the wrong their, it should be there – “who died, and go from there?”


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx

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77
77
Review of Halloween Meeting  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thanks for your order at "Invalid Item" .

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
An item with a title like this is bound to draw me in. I enjoy all things scary/ghostly. I was intrigued by the meeting and wanted to know more!

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
A young girl uses witchcraft to summon a war legend back from the dead. He was her great-aunt's lover (?) so she has been keen to meet him. She manages the summoning and the dead and living combine for hours until he fades away, promising to return next year.

The best bits:
This is a great story in which you managed to portray the character's emotions and senses incredibly well. The vocabulary used make it incredibly easy for the reader to imagine the scene unfolding before them.

Controversially, my favourite part is the paragraph that starts with this sentence: "Make-up covers her arms, neck and face, in vibrant hues of pinks, greens, and gray."
I just love the descriptions that flow throughout the paragraph. I say controversially, however, because I am slightly confused as to how it fits in to the rest of the story. I love the idea but where has this makeup come from?
"..also a crude cross and halo front and center on her forehead while u shapes and stitches line her mouth." Are there? This sounds like he thinks she's ugly, but I don't think he does. I could be wrong or I could be missing the point entirely...?

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel. Indeed, I only have a few very minor suggestions for you:

Here: “El Dia de los Muertos, the day of the dead.” – I’d recommend the use of a colon after the word Muertos. - “El Dia de los Muertos: the day of the dead.”

Here: “just north of the village of Vaux-sur-Somme. The place where he made his final landing ninety-two years ago.” - the full stop after somme seems out of place because, in effect, the next sentence belongs in there too. I’d be inclined to recommend another colon – “just north of the village of Vaux-sur-Somme: the place where he made his final landing ninety-two years ago.”

Here: “It's worked. She thinks with some cautious excitement and releases the breath she's been holding.” – I think a comma rather than a full stop would be more fitting after the word worked – “It's worked, she thinks with some cautious excitement and releases the breath she's been holding”

Here: “And so he does they laugh and they talk. Mostly him, answering question after question…” – again I’d consider combining the two parts with a colon – “And so he does they laugh and they talk: mostly him, answering question after question…”


Regardless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
78
78
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle - on hiatus bought for you at "Invalid Item"  as part of your "Invalid Item"  package.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
I love this title. It reminds me of Alexander McCall-Smith's books.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
A simple tale of two girls trying to fix people's problems whilst making some money on their garden stall.

The best bits:
I really like this item. It's simplicity indicates that it was written for children. When I say simplicity, I just mean the plot the plot is easy to follow and the characters are easy to keep up with.
I love the drama that is portrayed by the dialogue of the characters in this piece. I remember being the same when I was young. Indeed, this piece brought back pleasant childhood memories as I was reading, which I rather enjoyed.

This item does a great job of using the image prompt, with the words instantly bringing the photo to life in the mind's eye.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: ’My mom said that she will make it next time.”’ – I’d perhaps consider changing will to would

'sea shell' should be one word really.

'Good natured' should be hyphenated: good-natured

Regardless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
79
79
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you at "Invalid Item"  by Maryann with the message 'Thinking of you, Aunt Dottie

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Looking at the title prior to reading the item, it perhaps looks and sounds like it ought to belong to a children's story.
Does it fit the item once read?: Yes it does. It has a few different meanings I feel. Firstly, it refers to the noisy clock in the character's sleepless night. But also, perhaps, referring to the feeling that its too late or time has been wasted.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
The author feels they have wasted talents because they didn't try at school. This item is about looking back on what might have been. I think of these kinds of items as "what if?" items

The best bits:
I appreciate the honesty of this item. Not necessarily the honesty to the reader, I think this is more about the author being honest to themselves: almost telling themselves off.
I also like this, because I can relate to the issues raised in this item. I was really bad at everything at school. So bad in fact that people assumed I had low intelligence. However, when I got a fair bit older I went to university and got myself two very high graded degrees.

It is never too late. The fact that you are on here now, writing, is an indication of that fact! Don't look back and say "what if?"- there is no point, it wont get you anywhere. Instead, just do what you're doing now: write. Enjoy the fact that you discovered your talent, eventually. At least it didn't go to waste, after all :)

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

For the word inanimated – I think you just mean inanimate, a simple typo

Here: “sounds of the inanimate clock on the wall is” – as it stands, this part of the sentence is ever so slightly grammatically in correct. You’d have two very simple options to fix this. Either: “sounds of the inanimate clock on the wall are” – using are instead of is.
OR: “sound of the inanimate clock on the wall is” – still using the word is but taking the s off the word sound.

The word ‘marvelous’ is spelt marvellous – a minor correction


Regardless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
80
80
Review of Bad Day at Work  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
We all know the feeling. Stuck at work dreaming of being elsewhere and for the clock to go a whole lot faster than it seems to be. It is certainly a title that the vast majority can relate to.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
That the author is very creative has a sense of humour and was (perhaps) a little bored.

The best bits:
I just love this poem. It is possible that I've led a sheltered life, but I've never seen anything like this. Therefore, my first thought was "this is brilliantly unique".
I noticed that most of the emoticons are blue. I'm not sure if this is on purpose or not. But, for some reason, it adds to the charm.
I struggled to find my favourite bit because its all really good. However, these three lines stood out:
in Southsea *Dog2* and *Duck*!
My *Key*board sits and mocks me
like a monkey in a *XMasTree*,

I'm not entirely sure why these stood out. May be its because I thought these to be the best use of emoticons. Also, I think these set the tone of the poem, for me, as a comedy piece.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: "I dream of desert *Beach*'s" and here: "I think of *Books4* and *ButterflyB*'s - you do not need the apostrophes because nothing is belonging to the island and butterfly. Rather, you are referring to them as plurals.

I struggled with this line: "and it's heading for the *traincar1* - the emoticon is labelled as a traincar but I do not think that is what is meant to be within this poem.

This item does take a lot of 'reading' to work out the icons in relation to the words. I don't see this as a problem at all, for me. However, others may struggle/not bother. Thus, they might not get the full impact of how awesome this item is.

Regardless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
81
81
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Catchy and intriguing

The best bits:
I really like this poem. Although, the formatting makes the item slightly harder to read, it actually brings the poem and concept to life.

I love the use of vocabulary here. The descriptions are superb!
My favourite lines have to be:

from a swirling cataclysm of color



to the abysmal blackness

I just love the imagery this conjures up for the reader.
Improvements or corrections:
I do not have anything to point out here. This is a fantastically creative and well written poem.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
82
82
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
The title completely fits the poem. It is simple but affective.

The best bits:
This is a short but sweet poem. The imagery used is great, as a reader I was able to "see" the scenes of the park unfolding before my mind's eye.
I think my favourite lines are:

Labradors rapidly dig to discover great fortune,
Blue jays congregate puddles to join in baths

These lines perfectly describe scenes we have all seen before. As I said, this really helps the reader relate to the words on the page.

This is a really creative response to the prompts you were offered.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Whilst reading this, I questioned the need for punctuation. I say this because it somewhat distracted me from the flow of the poem. I am not a poetry expert, however, so some may disagree with me.

On a similar note, I got stuck on the word 'and' at the start of the final line. To me, it doesn't need to be there. Again, some may disagree.

Regardless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
83
83
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
First impression - an interesting title that lured me in making my want to read more :)
Does it match the piece? I'm still not quite sure what "Drawing the Moon" means, so I can't be certain if it matches the item or not.

The best bits:
This s a really good snippet of what, I believe, could be turned into a fantastic longer story. This kind of item is right up my street and I'd love to ready on!
Your use of dialogue is a great way of telling more of the story with fewer words, which is obviously necessary with flash fiction.
This seems like a unique and creative response to the Flash Fiction prompts. I'd love to know what the prompts were though :)

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “…figure eights above her beneath the…” I think I would put a comma after the word her, i.e. “…figure eights above her, beneath the…”

Here: “…or that she’d been dabbling…” I’m not sure the word ‘that’ needs to be there. If you’re on a tight word count, it is words like this that can be scrapped.

Here: “Plucking a delicate feather from Rowan’s smooth body, Rowan cawed louder than usual.” I got a bit confused with this sentence – Rowan is plucking a feather from Rowan’s body. I’d suggest replacing the first Rowan with his/her. i.e. “Plucking a delicate feather from his smooth body, Rowan cawed louder than usual.”
Ahhh, I see…. OR:
“As Iris plucked a delicate feather from Rowan’s smooth body, Rowan cawed louder than usual."

Here: “…rosewater, then plunged her dagger…” Despite what I said earlier I think I’d actually add the word and in before then. i.e. “…rosewater, and then plunged her dagger."

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
84
84
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you at "Invalid Item"  by LostGhost: Seeking & Learning as part of your special gift from "Words with Wings" 

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
A question as a title always seems to draw me in. I think this is because I want to know whether the item answers it's own question or not. Does this?

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
This was a very interesting piece to read, about a northerner living in a southern area. I can relate a little to this as my partner and I are the same.

The best bits:
I found the item most interesting because of the language and vocabulary it uses. It is clearly supposed to be quiet a hard and fast way for the writer to portray their nonchalance towards a North-- South divide. However, there are traces of both anger and humour sprinkled throughout this piece.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

I have to admit that I struggled slightly when I started reading this item; I had to read it a few times before realising that what I was reading wasn't quite a story. Rather, it occurred to me that this is more of a poem that is not in the traditional poetic format that I would expect to see. It could be that this is completely intentional and that you prefer it this way.

However, below this review is a copy of the way I broke down this poem in order to see where you were coming from so I could complete this review. Feel free to disregard this part of my review, I just thought it might be useful to you.


Regardless, I enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon :) xx

******************


Will ever a day go by-that some polite Southerner doesn't look a Northerner in the eye; Blessing us all, repeating y'all and still fully hoping that someday the North will fall?

Now I ask ya what makes ya think I ain't from around here?
Is it because I drink pop instead of sweet tea or beer?

Maybe it's because I say Hello instead of Hey
and many other big words that they often tell me I say.

I use to be a Yankee now I'm a Damn Yankee because I refused to go home.
To make it worse I gave birth to a Southerner disguised as a Northern clone.

When you tell me I'm a mess, I check my appearance and still look my best.
Where I come from we race on dirt instead of asphalt.
Now I ask ya, is that really my fault?

If I'm asked to mash something I look for potatoes,
what are you really asking me to do??? God only knows.

Oh the beauty of Southern pines, peaches and pecans;
the sturdy rebel in me shall forever live on.

In closing I say no matter how long I be,
my legacy to you is, YANK ME!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
85
85
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing for the July Power review raid. This month, the raid is about reviewing items that help relieve our boredom - your item certainly fits the mould!

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Who doesn’t love positivity? I certainly do! The title to this wonderful group doesn’t necessarily give away exactly what it is “about”. However, it does make the viewer want to know more!

The best bits:
Everyone also loves receiving reviews. I feel this group is a fantastic way of encouraging people to get out there, read all they can, and boost other members’ confidence, I am absolutely certain that members who receive reviews from this group will feel increasingly inspired to write on!
The item itself is incredibly informative, the colours throughout are very useful and point the reader towards the info that is important to them!

Improvements or corrections:
I have tried really hard to find something to correct or suggest that you improve. However, I cannot seem to find anything.

I have really enjoyed viewing this item and being a part of this awesome group. I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx

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86
86
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing for the July Power review raid. This month, the raid is about reviewing items that help relieve our boredom - your item certainly fits the mould!


I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Wow! Water balloon fight! Who wouldn't want to get involved in that?

The best bits:
I think this item is great on several different levels. Firstly, the description of the activity is clear and concise without any need to waffle or add in too much "fluff". Because of this, any new visitor will know exactly what is going on and why.
Secondly, the whole item, including the Cnotes themselves, is visually enticing. The images and colours are not too overwhelming. However, there is enough going on to encourage visitors to get involved.
Finally, this is a great way to encourage friendship, community awareness and fundraising. It is this kind of thing that has made me grow to love WDC over the last four months, or so. Certainly, getting more involved and getting to know more people around the site is a big part of what this website is all about.

Improvements or corrections:
I have tried really hard to find something to correct or suggest that you improve. However, I cannot seem to find anything.

I really enjoyed viewing this item and will be returning later today to send some water balloons! Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx

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87
87
Review of What if...?  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Unratable.)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing for the July Power review raid. This month, the raid is about reviewing items that help relieve our boredom - your item certainly fits the mould!


I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
What if? Is a very good question that I relate to not allowing yourself to give new things a try. Maybe, on that basis, that means I ought to give this contest a try!

The best bits:
This looks like a great contest with some fantastically creative prompts. Indeed, looking at the prompts, I am not completely surprised that it took you a while to decide on a new round for this contest - I saw in February that you took a break to collect new ideas for this round.
I think, my favourite prompt has to be this one:

Navy Seals in a Clown Car: Doesn't have to be in the Navy or involve a clown car. However, does need to include military personnel and some very noticeable form of comedy.

I am not sure why, it just struck me as the one you could have the most fun with!

I am not feeling very creative at the moment. Therefore I didn't think my entry, if I chose to enter, would be all that good. However, from what I have seen today, this contest is one that I would certainly on consider entering in the future.

Improvements or corrections:
I have tried really hard to find something to correct or suggest that you improve. However, I cannot seem to find anything.

I really enjoyed viewing this item and I hope to return as a contestant one day. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


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88
88
Review of Starbucks  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle - on hiatus bought for you at "Invalid Item"  as part of your "Invalid Item"  package

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
I am a Starbucks addict. Therefore, a title like this is bound to draw me in.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
Coffee is good! You like coffee! I could be wrong though...

The best bits:
I really enjoyed the whole of this poem. I think my favourite line, if forced to choose, would be:
"Understanding coffee lingo is fun."

It is my favourite just because it reminds me of the looks on 'newbie' faces when barristers repeat the orders back to them in Starbucks Speak. I, on the other hand, catch myself correcting the barristers.

Improvements or corrections:
Try as I might, I am struggling to find anything to write here.
You say you wrote this after your first trip to Starbucks. Have your feelings changed, I wonder?


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
89
89
Review of The Stroll  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
The title, along with the genres and description made me want to open this item and read on.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
The woman was pushing the stroller as a way of comforting herself and the "mysterious shop" was the place people go to "move on". I am also guessing that the woman in the cafe had already moved on which is why she was an onlooker. I am unsure whether the woman always pushed the stroller or if it was just for her last day.

The best bits:
This item manages to get an awful lot into it in such a limited word count. Not only that but it has a good few twists to it, which you wouldn't necessarily expect on the outset.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find the photo you used as a prompt, which is a shame as I'd have liked to have seen where your inspiration came from.

For this sentence: ". Although the gentleman looked harmless and he was accompanied by a young boy..." May I suggest you swap a few words around, like so "and a young boy accompanied him..."



I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
90
90
Review of Sniglets  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
The title intrigued me as I hadn't heard of a Sniglet before

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
Hurrahh I am not the only one who makes up words. Although, I really need to work on my quality - my words could not compete with the ones displayed here!

The best bits:
This item made me smile and chuckle so, in my mind, it has done it's job perfectly.
For some reason this one caught me unaware and made me laugh the most:
Dadpole - A frog who's just become a father

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have anything to improve or correct, apart from telling you to keep it up! If I make up a really good word, I shall return :)

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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91
91
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
I love reading "dear Me" letters so I simply could not resist coming and reading this. I think I will attempt my own "Dear me" when the time comes around again!

Ordinarily I'd break this review down into interpretations/best bits/improvements. However, I am not going to do that here as I have nothing but love for this item.
The piece is beautifully written, using language and a structure that I cannot fault. Moreover, your thoughts and feelings come across incredibly clearly and articulately.

My absolute favourite sentences are:
New Year’s resolutions, my dear girl, are like a dozen long-stemmed red roses.

Looking back on your life and asking “what if?” lasts forever.

The second sentence sounds exactly like something I say in my public speeches and is so true!

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. I love it so much that I feel I need to give it an awardicon - coming up.

Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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92
92
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
The title didn't stand out too much at first until I read the description - then I was intrigued

The best bits:
I actually think this is a brilliant idea and was rather sad when I realised it hadn't been updated. Clearly us WDC addicts are online all the time ;) and it'd be great to have a place to go to see the useful sites others are finding as well as our own!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Simply, re-launch this! ;) heh

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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93
93
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: you were below me in the I write contest so I thought I’d pop along and review your work.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

I enjoyed reading this poem from King Herod’s point of view, which gave an interesting human insight into the emotions of this biblical villain. I particularly enjoyed the skilful use of rhyming couplets throughout the poem and the intriguing ending.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

In this sentence: “Lovely women, Lots of wine.” I don’t think the word ‘lots’ needs to be capitalised.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
94
94
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for:
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you at "Invalid Item"  by Maryann with the message 'Thinking of you, Aunt Dottie!

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Grabbed my attention and sounds like something I’d usually like to read.

My interpretations of what the item is trying to tell me:
Undercover agents work to recover stolen documents and equipment from the enemy. A female officer is given a special assignment, which her co-workers disapprove of.
Rona grew up with Gaushu, an agent for the FORW. Once discovering her parents were involved in the FORW she became desperate to become an agent too. Breaking down all barriers, she aced all the tests and made certain she was one of the best agents they had.

The best bits:
This is clearly part of a much longer story and one that I would want to read more of - this can only be a good sign. I like the way you have built up a solid background story for Rona, describing her reasoning behind becoming an agent. A piece of writing always feels more believable when there is a back-story and detail given to the characters.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have too many things to write here, don't worry!
I am wondering weather this item should actually be divided up. As I said, I really enjoyed the background offered on Rona and think the item could have gone into more detail in this area. However, because the chapter started with the co-workers, Ned & John, I expected it to go back again. So, I would either like to see more about Rona by herself in the first chapter, or to go back to the other two characters we have seen so far.

There are just a couple of spelling mistakes that I picked up on, but again there was nothing major:
Asignments should be assignments
Tryouts should be try-outs

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little, at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
95
95
Review of Discarded  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi there,

I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive birthday review :)


How do I feel now that I have read it?: I'm smiling at the concept of this piece.


What I liked best: This item uses a very imaginative way of trying to show a character's true colours. If only clothes could talk - actually, maybe not ;) I really enjoyed the way the dress appears to move from feeling somewhat self-conscious to discovering it is better off out of it.
This is a well written piece which has clear differentiation between the dress's thoughts and what is going on outside the closet.
You also conveyed a pretty (stereo)typical teenage romance really well - short and sweet but full of drama :)


How might the piece be improved: There isn't much I can find to change/improve. However, there's a double space here: "but it’s interest had been piqued."
There is a missing apostrophe at the end of this line " “He said, ‘If I never live to see tomorrow, I will die fulfilled. Finding you was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

But these are just about me being picky ;)



What piece of advice would I give you, one writer to another?: Not really advice, but I think this is really good. Thank you for the read, I look forward to getting the opportunity to read more of your work :) x


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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96
96
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi there,

How I found and selected this particular item: You were below me in the "I write..." contest, so I thought I'd pop over and review your work :)


How do I feel now that I have read it?: I feel like your blogs are far better than mine and I don't like it! ;) kidding!


What I liked best: You have an incredibly versitile and interesting blog here Jack. From the posts I have read, I can see that your attention to detail is great. I love the way you use a wide range of writing styles throughout the blog. This is definitely high up there on the "ones to watch" for the July 30DBC :)


What piece of advice would I give you, one writer to another?: Not really advice, but I think this is a really enjoyable blog that I'd like to read more of.
Therefore, thank you for the read, I look forward to getting the opportunity to read more of your work :) x
97
97
Review of Silent Seduction  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

How I found and selected this particular item: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group


How do I feel now that I have read it?: I'm not sure where I thought you were going with this poem when I started reading (honestly, I don't ;)) but it wasn't this. I like that in writing.


What I liked best: You've used some fantastic words in this that enable the reader to use their immaginations to picture the scene.
I just love this line:
Tantalizing thoughts titillate, tickling my mind, teasing my heart.

It just feels so delightful when you say it out loud.


How might the piece be improved: I cannot see any improvements I'd make - its fantastic.



What piece of advice would I give you, one writer to another?: Not really advice, but I think this is great. Thank you for the read, I look forward to getting the opportunity to read more of your work :) x




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98
98
Review of The Flea Bank  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

How I found and selected this particular item: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group

I think this is a wonderful idea: using your birthday as a reason to spread joy and happiness to other people. I hope this idea works as well as it ought to :)

I'd like to offer you this donation of GPS to make your birthday even more special :) x





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99
99
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there,

How I found and selected this particular item: I am reviewing this group as a member of the Simply Positive group and as someone who may wish to join for July.


How do I feel now that I have read it?: Half excited and half apprehensive. Excited because I want to join and it looks like a great way to get writing. Apprehensive because I'm not sure I have to put everything I'd want to into it.


What I liked best: Obviously, it looks good enough to make me want to join - that can only be a good thing!


How might the piece be improved: I'm still not 100% sure how I join... I'm guessing I just email you with my blog details and prompt ideas, declaring I'd like to take up the challenge? I'll try that and see what happens :)






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100
100
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

How I found and selected this particular item: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group


What I liked best: I like this story. It's short and sweet but actually builds up the character of your family, the flock and, indeed, your gentlemanly rooster. I enjoyed you use of a little humour to portray a sense of humanity and personality into the story.
Furthermore, many people assume chickens/roosters don't have much intelligence. However, Johnnie Johnson clearly makes a mockery of this notion.


How might the piece be improved: I can only find one very minor correction I would make:

"So, unless you..." I would put a comma after so

Other than that, I cannot see anything else. Even the above comment is just my own opinion.


What piece of advice would I give you, one writer to another?: Not really advice, but I think this is a good job. Thank you for the read, I look forward to getting the opportunity to read more of your work :) x






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