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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fyndorian
Review Requests: ON
1,309 Public Reviews Given
2,754 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of A Love Story  
Review by fyn
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Yes!!!! LOVE THIS!!! (yeah, yelling it to the rafters!)

Using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter ~fyn
2
2
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent! I particularly liked the lines:
An assembly of shadows
gather to mourn the loss of realism


and

And why for this little boy
do suddenly those wooden horses
on a quiet carousel
come alive with welcoming whinny's
that only HE can hear?


Vrilliant!

Using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter! ~fyn
3
3
Review of The Ringmaster  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent, as always. You never disappoint! Using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter! ~fyn
4
4
Review by fyn
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Excellent. Like the dark take on this! Using this in my Poetry Newsletter this week! ~fyn
5
5
Review by fyn
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Excellent short story full of lines like: No birds sang for him this dark morning, no clouds strolled through the sky, and no hope built itself a fire in his heart.

I only wish you'd given the reason for the following: Ikaw ang puso ko.

Did I miss something??

Using this in this week's For Authors Newsletter. ~fyn
6
6
Review by fyn
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is excellent, well-crafted writing!

Using it in this week's For Authors Newsletter.
7
7
Review of Taps  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Absolutely worth the win! Aside from that --an excellent story and I'm sitting here sniffling! ~fyn
8
8
Review of Kipuka  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Using another of you in this week's Poetry newsie--head's up!!*grin* ~fyn
9
9
Review of Vacation Vision  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter. Loved my trips to Bermuda. Thanks for bringing back memories!~fyn
10
10
Review of MISTAKE  
Review by fyn
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome to WDC!

Enjoyed this poem, the words, the feels. I especially liked the lines:(whole verse, really)
Innocence is stolen, yet courage takes form,
She carries life through life's storms.


I'm using your poem as an editor's pick in this week's For Authors Newsletter.
11
11
Review of The River Mouth  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Whew!!! This is POWERFUL writing!

...'sifting pebbles in My Hand' ...


Using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter. ~fyn
12
12
Review of Army Men  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love this and the pebble mortars!

The beginning pulled me in ...

As a boy I would play with toy men in the back:
Army men would endure my relentless attack
from the limestone and pebbles I lobbed at their rank
as they stood by the road or on jeep-rutted bank.


and this just tied it all together ...

‘Round the school was an army with mortar and gun;
(there are many a battle that have to be won.)
Modern Army event shames the armies of then
though I still reminisce about my Army men.



Using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter. ~fyn
13
13
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Yes! Thoroughly enjoyed this poem!!!

So much so that I'm using it in this week's Poetry Newsletter. ~fyn
14
14
Review of Pebbles  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
I REALLY enjoyed this poem!

My favorite part was:

Maps abstract, in tapestries,
to where such pebbles stopped,
to join a lake bed dressed in scree,
where other pebbles dropped

With chapters marked and tomes complete,
their part played to its end
A cameo note, midst life's suite,
a role that took its wend.


I'm using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter ~fyn

15
15
Review of Ode to Antaeus  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (4.5)
Using this as an Editor's Pick in this week's For Authors newsletter! Welcome to WDC!~fyn
16
16
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh, this was fun!!! A happy tale on a day when it was most welcome!!!

You'll have to ask me about Dalthyrian one of these days! *grin* ~fyn
17
17
Review of The Tomb  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Indeed they do! My grandfather's best buddy blew Taps at the first dedication at the tomb, before there was anyone there ... yet.
18
18
Review of That Chair There  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (4.5)
That's the chair alright. I did wonder though the mom's reaction to a missing kid. There would have been some sort of a reaction I expect.

Little nitpicks...

I’d still be all well.<---perhps 'things still would be well...
“Oh yes, yes you will, <---comma after 2nd yes.
not been so head-strong <---period after strong.
I looked at my hands and then looked at my feet<---colon after feet then
I no longer could move, and no longer could speak.,<--- I could no longer move, could no longer speak or I could not move! I could not speak!

Those little things aside, I enjoyed this. It made me smile. There's a whole short story in 'The Boy Who Became A Chair.'

19
19
Review of The Fisherman  
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent! I'm using this poem in this week's Poetry Newsletter. ~Fyn
20
20
Review of The Poetry Weeper  
Review by fyn
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Excellent! I'm using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter. ~Fyn
21
21
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Using this awesome magic in my for Authors Newsletter this week!~~Fyn
22
22
Review of Christmas 1984  
Review by fyn
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Using this in this week's For Authors newsletter! It's a perfect fit :)
23
23
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (5.0)
using this in this week's Poetry newsletter
24
24
Review by fyn
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
While this didn't fo where I thought it would - at all(!) I loved it! But now I want to write my own version of it. (May I borrow your title (giving credit, of course)?)

Great opening line!! Uress woke up with his head feeling like a blocked drain, stuck with lumps of ancient pudding and bits of chicken legs pounding against his skull. I remember feeling like that and it pulled me right in!

Loved the ending 'smirk' of a line as well!

~fyn
25
25
Review by fyn
Rated: E | (4.5)
What I ended up with---

Megan was a witch who lived the Black Forest. One day she catapulted over Muritz Castle and spied a handsome man who was grooming his porcupine . Wanting to attract him, she left a emerald on a rock nearby. He spied the precious stone and became phenominal Looking around, he tried to see who left it. A few feet away, he found another saphire . A trail of items led to a waterfall. Catching the scent of a for-get-me-not he turned around and spied her. She offered him a amethyst . He smiled and gave her a Venus Flytrap

Oh my! LOL Lived IN the Black Forest.... suggesting 'past tense' verb for selection menu. And ditch 'another' as it probably won't be a repeated gemstone. :)

This was a nice bit of fun! :)
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