Interesting, but I found his conclusion to be faulty...everyone is a mix or good and bad, selfish and giving, argumentative and compromising, smart sometimes, dumb others. I thought he seemed rather blissfully normal. He wasn't terrible and certainly, not a monster...just my thoughts.
Writing wise, well done, Didn't see any typos and was most readable and kept me wanting more.
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- Seems I keep on running into (or through?) you of late!
- What 'in-tree-gued' me: I particularly liked the conversational tone of this piece, as if we were sitting down, drinking coffee, and you were regaling me with the tale! I feel it works exceptionally well with this piece and makes it 'feel' all the more 'real' due to the tone used.
- What creeped me out: The shaking! Perhaps it was trying to tell you to shut the attic door! Oh wait! This should be stuff I found wrong. Poor little spider...didn't find anything: No dinner for you! No creepy-crawly typo-bugs skittering around.
- Anything I could be 'witchy' about? Only in the Glinda sense! It is so nice to see when someone consistently uses apostrophes correctly; especially in possessives.
- Hoots! - I grew up in NJ, (Bergen County) and spent many a weekend at the shore, on the various lakes and at a friend's house on the Ramapo River. (Wonders which river your friend's house was on?) We had both American and British soldier ghosts meandering around our house as it was (way back when) both an American and a British headquarters for the folks working in the iron mines and making the cannonballs. (I lived on Cannonball Rd!) At one time or another, there were battles there over who'd get the iron from the mines.
- 'Owl' give you What I'd give you if you allowed stars!!!
meant<---met
A single white feather, soft and downy was fluttering in front of my face<----soft and downy,
I couldn't help but thinking<---think
Welcome to WdC!!! I know you wrote that this was for a contest, so I offer a few corrections :)
I liked this...you had me there with you and that midnight phone call is one we all dread!
Another gust of wind, from a previously breezeless day <----comma after day
my legs protested being cramped <---insert from after protested
was knelt <---was kneeling or knelt...not both
he reached other <---out, not other
picked it delicately up <----delicately picked it up or picked it up delicately, but not delicately up.
He asked kindly,<---as part of a quote/sentence, he would be lover case.
Thanking you, my dear, sweet, SOBER friend! Just a thought...no one can bring out a 'best' that isn't already hiding beneath 'stuff.' I knew from when we first met that you were a singularly unique and wonderful person! You radiate all those characteristics that are almost fading to unusual in the world. You are kind and sweet and one of those 'truly good' folks and you have a heart that doesn't quit!!! Faith in you? Of course! Always! I know you will take your sobriety into your future, almost an armor, perhaps and that you will continue to stay that way because...bottom line...you WANT to be sober. No need to hide when you are so special...now you can shine!
Liked this...a intertwined, interwoven coupling...a tapestry of two. Some of the wording feels a little forced to the rhyme and that would be my best suggestion in revision. Example would be 'for no harm will you come to...perhaps play with the word, 'true' instead. Also, in the same verse, I would suggest 'to hod and to love you' as it would flow better. I suggest reading your work out loud as it will help you keep a steady rhythm and beat.
This is quite improved over my initial reading! Still enjoy the 2nd verse the best. This is a good example of a realization poem, one that shows growth and that the writer is beginning to challenge long held beliefs and and self-protective mechanisms. The real world may hold more dangers, but it also holds many more opportunities for love and the abilities to experience living to its fullest!
Whew! Using this in this week's For Authors Newsletter!
I will NEVER forget the time I had my daughter at the store and she vanished on me...Three lifetimes and probly five minutes later, I heard the intercom requestiong 'the parents of ...'. There she was grinning. "It worked, Mommy" she said happily. I'd told her if she ever got lost to find a policeman or the people at the front of the store. She just 'had' to test it out!
This:
The wolf begins to walk forward with teeth bared,
his intent completely clear. He plans a savage attack!
The boy thinks, ‘I knew what you were, but I cared
for you anyway. I guess a wolf really can’t love back.
had my heart in my throat!
I'm using this in this week's For Authors Newsletter.
This clearly needed to be longer, allowing a greater level of developing the character.
I liked the concept of his being a concept of imagination, the 'character' in his writer's mind. That was particularly cool!
But I needed there to be more than a rectangular white world (good image!) and if the character could find and use a pencil, surely there were other things he could do, as, for example, most writers encounter a character that takes off and goes somewhere the author never expected!
And as we all know, when that happens, we give the character his head and let him go, becoming merely the hands and fingers to write or type out his adventures. This is what happens when a character transcends that invisible divide between imaginary and real!
Way too short! The contest has the 2000 word limit so you don't do longer, but use the available words to flesh out the entry. In this case, it would have helped to give depth, add nuance and give the reader a far better sense of the character.
There many odd-phrasings that weren't 'quite' grammatically correct. When using a title, such as 'Alone Again,' it should be in quotes or italics.
Using the allotted words would have given you the chance to develop a character that the reader could actually care about, rather than him seeming unlikable and shallow so that no one cares that, aside from about her, that she died.
There is some potential here, but this needs much work and revision.
Immediate suggestion. Spaces between paragraphs! It makes reading the computer screen easier! Just a thought. But especially when folks are reading twenty or thirty entries, it is easier on the eyes, less likely to lose one's place.
Also, many times, reader will click in and out of a piece that doesn't have the set-up I suggested and as the point is to get reviews, whatever helps and works is worth doing! :)
This was well written overall and had some great lines like:My mother was a dim recollection of scented perfume, sharp hunger and disappointment. Super description. You use descriptive devices very well.
I liked the starting from the finish and ending in the middle!
This was really good! I liked the way it all spun out, the confusion, the voice, the thoughts behind the words and the not accepting the story fed him.
This was well written, felt 'true' and kept this reader reading and wanting to know how it would eventually all play out! Well done!
I did, however, feel there would have been a little more sense of panic, of being (at least on the inside) some fear. Then, later, the 'why' he was tailing her, more about who she was or what she was involved it. That left-over 800 some words could have, er, ah, filled in some of the holes (?)
This was a really well written piece! Lines like the river of blood served layered purpose on nuance on to who the boy became and how the father saw him. LOVED the 'sneezed' part! Great timing that!
The line:It was loaded with magnums. kind of through me, stopped me mid-read. Magnum rounds, perhaps. Something like; it wasn't loaded with any pansy wadcutters, no, it was all magnum rounds...or some such would have read better. My hubby has a 44 Magnum and I've never heard the terminology magnums used by anyone...hotloads or something but....
ah and a 44 kind of outguns a .357.. :) Sorry, couldn't resist!
Allow me to preface this by saying that I do not really care to read werewolf stories; they are simply NOT my thing. I like reading fantasy, but this subset of the genre does nothing for me what so ever.
Now, that being said (or written)--I really enjoyed this piece! I particularly liked the voice of the character, the way it gave just enough background and reasonings; the tone throughout and the little kick at the end...sort of a 'just when you thought it was safe to go into the water' sort of nudge.
He is a mountain of a man: six foot six, 250 pounds. You can hear numbers like that a million times, but they don't really mean anything until you're in a room with the guy they refer to. Suddenly the room seems too small, the table between you too narrow, the door too far away.
What needs work
The switching between first and third person...better to keep in all in 3rd rather than back and forth which really doesn't work.
Final thoughts
I thought the overall idea was excellent and the language used portrayed everything really well.
These are just my thoughts and impressions. No two individual readers will ever react the exact same way to a piece of writing.
Thoughts/impressions
First thought over all was that this piece was too short. When given 2000 words, it is a good idea to use the majority of them.
Final thoughts
This read more like abstract or a bio than a short story, as in there was nothing more than facts; bones but no meat, no substance. No quirks, no individuality. There was no little bit to pull a reader in or make them want to know much more about the character.
Using the allotted words would have given the writer space to develop the chacter behind the facts, give substance and let us see more than the flat image portrayed.
Memories of a Christmas past...sounds like mine every year...then again...I'm part Peter Pan and may I never grow up that far! Using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter
Oh good God!!! Really??? This is how I must start my day? Seriously???? Now my tummy hurts from laughing, my face has cracked in two and oh dear, my aching head!!!
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- What 'in-tree-gued' me: I particularly liked the conversational tone of this piece, as if we were sitting down, drinking coffee, and you were regaling me with the tale! I feel it works exceptionally well with this piece and makes it 'feel' all the more 'real' due to the tone used.
- What creeped me out: The shaking! Perhaps it
was trying to tell you to shut the attic door! 
Oh wait! This should be stuff I found wrong. Poor little spider...didn't find anything: No dinner for you! No creepy-crawly typo-bugs skittering around.
- Anything I could be 'witchy' about? Only in the Glinda sense! It is so nice to see when someone consistently uses apostrophes correctly; especially in possessives. 
- Hoots! - I grew up in NJ, (Bergen County) and spent many a weekend at the shore, on the various lakes and at a friend's house on the Ramapo River. (Wonders which river your friend's house was on?) We had both American and British soldier ghosts meandering around our house as it was (way back when) both an American and a British headquarters for the folks working in the iron mines and making the cannonballs. (I lived on Cannonball Rd!) At one time or another, there were battles there over who'd get the iron from the mines. 
- 'Owl' give you 
What I'd give you if you allowed stars!!! 
What needs work