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1
1
for entry "Lost Love
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Clipart for general use

By Lisa Noe

You did a great job mapping this woman's
fear while she wonders what has happened
to the love she and her man used to share
with passion. The frailty of the woman is
both touching and a perfect match with the
woman's fear and this poem's tempo.

Bravo and all the best,
Gab
2
2
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: E | (4.5)
It takes courage to own up to our mistakes.
I am touched by your contemplations.
I wish you all the best, Gab
3
3
Review of Senior Group  
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: E | (4.5)
Best of Luck, Monty.
The Senior's Center
is in good hands.
I have enclosed a few
gps to launch your
next competition.

Gab

4
4
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Heart* NOSTALGIA *Heart*

As soon as I opened this door, I sat down to read about Penelope.
It hurts my heart to think about your loss.

At age 12, Alex, my daughter and a friend, took a bike ride on a lovely woodsy trail not ten minutes from our home.

Sometime later, Alex arrived home with a small trash bag. It wiggled. wiggled. and wiggled. Watching my frightened eyes, Alex pulled out 4 tiny kittens. She told me they saw a man tossing the bag right there in the woods just a foot or so from the river.when he thought no one was looking.

I thought to myself: Oh no, tell me it isn't so.!! I couldn't keep 4 cats. The next day, Alex went off with the bag to see if she could find homes for a couple of the kitties.

The two girls came back several hours later. I peeked in the bag. There were 2 kittens squeeking and rolling in the bag. Right then and there, Alex talked me into keeping the kittens so they could keep each other company when I go off to work each day.

Alex named the cats, Count and Minnie. Both names came from kid's public TV programs. Alex remembered the TV shows and decided to name the boy kitten, Count because he was black all over.. Minnie was named after Minnie Mouse. She was black with white paws.

The two cats were dynamos. When they were a tad larger, I remember
Alex's gush of laughter when she caught Count hanging on and attached to the dress I was planning to wear to a party. It took a big effort to peel the kitty off my dress. Needless to add, my daughter's work pay was swallowed up buying toys for the kittens.

Both cats lived to be 15. We had dogs after that for several years. When my
husband died in 2016, I moved to Vermont to live near my daughter. She gave me a kitten. Lyla is wild and wooly. She's still a kitten. though I don't believe she thinks she is still a kitten.

I was so pleased to be able to read about your sweet cat riding on your shoulder, dear Maryann.

Thank you for sharing your memories.

All the best, G

.
5
5
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks, dear Dana !


Maryann

Since you waste no time getting us poised to review.
I thought I'd turn the table to enjoy reading a few of
your wonderful poems before I do my best to create
a passable review.

All of this while the patter of rain is quickly becoming
drenching weather.

This is a fine example of a Terza Rima poem. It comes
from Italy. Since there are only three lines in each stanza,
each group of lines tells a small part of the bigger story.

This Poem, Rain Pondering, is a beautiful poem
with surprising pictorial effects.

You are a talented artist and author, Maryann. This poem is
delicate and declarative.

Example: "Damp scent and shrill cry of birds through the sweet grey
Cool breeze hints of something more than just misty."

Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem, Maryann.
I look forward to reading more.

Warmest best, G.


6
6
Review of Jenny  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Your Grand Daughter

This is a lovely poem, Jenny. I am a grandmother too.

Each line in your poem is reminiscent of the
love and admiration I have for my granddaughter
while she continues to grows so quickly.

This is a sweet, tender verse:

"More precious each day
Than words can ever say
How Blessed I am
God sent you my way."

This poem is gentle, thoughtful, and well written.
You have a charming poem with well executed rhythm.

I wish you and your dear grandchild all the best,

Gabriella
7
7
Review of lucie willis  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Love of Drone Photography


Dear Hallie Sellasie,

The other day, while I was walking across a huge open field, I looked up to see what I imaged was designed to be an amazing piece of drone art. While I have never seen a grown-up drone in action, I believe I saw one. It was colorful and distorted.

It disappeared as quickly as it appeared. Later on in the day a friend
suggested it might have disappeared quickly because it isn't clear that folks can fly drones in our state-especially without a permit. In any case, when I I looked for drones on the internet, I found a great selection of drone cameras. I look forward to seeing more.

Last, but not least, I like your description of Lucie Thomas. Is she a relative or is this you in hiding ? Whatever your response, I have enjoyed reading about Lucie Thomas. Barney Marsh sounds like a great match for Lucie. I hope Barney likes children. Lucie must be a busy mother with 5 children
between 8 and 16.

You write well, Hallie Sellasie (glarg1675) I remember you from those early days on W.Com. I hope you are enjoying your return.

All the best,

Gabriella

8
8
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)



This is a delightful poem 1

With my mind's eye, I can see the
EIGHT MAIDS CLIMBING,
desperate for just a little water.

------------------------------------------------------

Your Poem: Eight Maids

All they wanted was something to drink
To soothe their thirst on the brink.

One had an idea that didn’t work
And left the others to only smirk.

Oh what would they do to satisfy a need
Of course, do the dirty deed.

So they stole a cow,
And it had to happen right now.

They dragged the poor dear up a hill.
And when she wouldn’t budge and just stood still

Some pushed from behind
And just in time,

Eight tired maids had stolen the milk,
Ever grateful it went down smooth as silk.

The cow was returned without a peep.
Bellies full, all the maids went to sleep.

----------------------------------------------

This poem has a perfect rhyme scheme and
your choice of words is a delightful fit
with this tale.

I read it twice and enjoyed it more each time.
Bravo and all the best......


9
9
Review of Reminiscent Winds  
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: E | (5.0)

photo for use by Rising Stars

Review

To celiasgirl

This is a beautiful message sent to your mother:

Oh Mama, so many times over the past years I have wished you were here to hold me as I have struggled. I have missed you so much and I still think to call you, just to hear your voice and calm me when I am down. Please don't stay away so long next time. I still need you and I am lost without your love.

Your Farewell:

Your shared your last days with your mother in such a loving, delicate way.
You remind me of my mother who was a gracious, lovely lady--thoughtful
and kind, she never complained. I can see in your description of your
precious moments with your mother that she was touched and grateful
for your presence, still able to feel your love and very careful to make
sure you feel and never forget those moments when she loved you.

This is doubtlee the most touching moment in this piece:

"Esmé felt safe in the cocoon of her mother's arms.".

Thank you for sharing your mother with us. You are not alone in all these thoughts and feelings.

Warmest best,

Gabriella
10
10
Review of Oblivious  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)


wet road half lit just after daybreak on a foggy morning

Oblivious:

"Deep rumble from high,
the clouds celebrate loudly
while I sleep soundly.
Surprising morning broadcast-
county wide devastation."

Review:

I had to bring your poem
with me so I can be reminded
while I read that this poem is
at once beautifully penned and a perfect
definition of a terrifying storm
that is bound to be devastating
in its role as the planet's toughest
typhoon.

This photo we included serves to
add a dark and dreary visual to these
areas where a terrifying storm
was unwrapped before it arrived.

I was impressed to see you combine writing
with reading to help us look for
and hasten through a wretched storm
and return without regrets.

I look for and admire your poems and the efforts you make
to rally a group of friends/cheer leaders to
stop long enough to read and celebrate
your capabilities and joyful enthusiasm.

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella
11
11
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)



To: BarbetteLouise

A belated warm welcome to you, BarbetteLouise. I hope you have
had a chance to visit these programs founded to roll out
our red carpet for you:

FORUM
Noticing Newbies  (13+)
A warm welcome to our newbies; come meet new and not-so-new members of Writing.Com!
#126963 by The StoryMistress

"The WDC Angel Army
"Invalid Item

Overview: Butterflies and Bombs

I read and reread your poem a couple of times. Each time
I read it, I found more reasons to enjoy it without drawing you
in to make more than a few changes.

When I read this poem, I decided the poem is not only penned by you,
It is all about you. I came across this little bit of wisdom and decided to share it with you.

"To light up the world, differences must be.
We must expand on uniqueness
tp create quality."

It is gratifying to see all of the other 5 reviewers also
admired the poem the way it is.

Having said this, I want to point out that reviewing and learning
go hand in glove. Discovering short-comings and filling potholes
are great and valuable assets. This poem is a glorious exception.

A few Small Fixes:

You write: And the tips of the grass ,tickled my feet
Suggestion: remove the comma.
Corrected Line:
And the tips of the grass tickled my feet

You Write: Then the birds kept singing
"America" is not free
Suggestion: " America is not free."
Corrected Line: Then the birds kept singing
"America is not free."

You Wrote: And showed me how clear
the water could be
If only America will learn
to make peace
When will people get the message
two by two we shall lead.

Suggestion: If the two swans are
singing or speaking this
message, the second half of
the message should be clad in this: "
Corrected: this is how it would
look: "If only America will learn
to make peace
When will people get the message
two by two we shall lead."

In Closing, I Elected to Share this Poem's Precious Message:

Two swans grabbed my hands
And brought me to the water
And showed me how clear
the water could be
"If only America will learn
to make peace
When will people get the message
two by two we shall lead."

Well done, BarbetteLouise !! I look forward
to returning to read more of your
wonderful poems

GabriellaR45



12
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Review of I'm Sorry  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks, dear Dana !

I'M NOT SORRY

for sharing this with family, friends,
and colleagues who will benefit if you read this
from start to finish. There is still
time to help one person who can't fight
off feeling humiliated, is told being an under-
achiever is a sick addiction, and is never good
enough, no matter how hard you work. What
you do is never enough.

A harshly abused person prays for
that day when he or she will be valued, admired,
and respected. Thank you, Court, for opening
this door. Do any of these seem familiar ?

"I'm sorry, for not being the perfect girlfriend.
I'm sorry, for not being good enough for you.
I'm sorry, for not looking like a model.
I'm sorry, for not listening to anything you say.
I'm sorry, for not knowing anything.
I'm sorry, for not able to make you happy.
I'm sorry, that I am scared of you.
I'm sorry, that you choose to hurt me with your words.
I'm sorry, that you get so mad at me...to the point, you tell me to shut up.
I'm sorry, that I'm depressed...but it's not a choice.
If it was choice, I wouldn't be depressed.
I'm sorry, that you think that I don't love you.
I'm sorry, that my insecurities are getting the best of me.
I'm sorry, that I was stupid to hurt myself.
I'm sorry, that I can't help how I feel.
I'm sorry, that I always make your day bad.
I'm sorry, that I am a mess and that I cannot be fixed.
I'm sorry, that everything I'm saying...you've said.
I'm sorry, that I made you treat me this way."

We'll use Court's Wisdom to close this review:

"MENTAL ABUSE IS NOT OK !" {/i}
13
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Review of Glass Flower  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Queen Normajean of the Grneyes:

I was captivated by this wonderful piece the moment I completed the first sentence. Of course, we have Rose Blum to thank for this. She comes across as lovely and sure of herself. It is because she is elegant in her show of confidence that every guest in the exhibition's gallery is captivated.

You do a fine job painting Rose's lovely demeanor and her sincere appreciation for her visitors. She'll never tell her story because she can't afford to give up what makes her a fascinating painter with a secret that
she will never reveal, especially because painting on glass the way she did
it is not impossible.

This is a 5-star winner, QN. I hope this delightful story wins a prize. It is as beautifully written as the primary character in this story is captivating.

Before signing off;

I was delighted to see that you joined W.Com a year before I did. Welcome back, Queen N. I hope you are planning to stay for a while.


Rising Stars Member to Member Reviewing Sig
14
14
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
-------------------------In Cardboard Boxes--------------------

Moving When My Daughter Was in California With Her Mom

This has to be a nostalgic moment for a father who is going through what was once a happy bustling family's home before both mother and daughter moved to California--the other side of the US.

Now, this father has to go through everything from his daughter's childhood days to now when records and grown-up music are compelling. This daughter is now in her teens.

Emily's broken blue water gun that no longer squirts. I stopped cleaning and packing for a drink of Sprite, surely I will never finish this task tonight.

"Taped to her mirror were tickets from Christian concerts. I carefully took them down, and turned out her light, thinking how she will view her new room; eyes so bright."

This father managed to tell his story with careful descriptions that accompany leaving his family home and imagining what his daughter's new home is like.

Bravo Lou-Here By His Grace I look forward to reading more of your poetry.

All the best, Gab
15
15
Review of Forever September  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)



A Forever September:


How a Couple Agrees on Love of September

I love this poet's Opening Description:

"Forever said he;
Let’s forget all about wintertime misery"

Once in a great while, I'd go to Maine with my
grandmother to spend a long weekend:

"Catching "the rays of the sun" and "a breath of fresh air; old September can linger with winter nowhere":
"Still the Earth could remain with the sun going forth;
(it would steady its ecliptic path in the north.)
And so winter could sit with a gust in his mouth
since the path of the sun would not head to the south"

This poem is delightful and remarkably on the
mark where all of the most treasured
elements of the month of September creep
up to wake us on a chilly fall morning..
At the same time, the warm, sunny daytime
brings a delightfully warm temperature,
just the right time for a picnic on the rocks

Your poem is reminiscent of the beautifully painted
fall days depicted by Winslow Homer.
"The leaves are falling, falling as if far up."

I have thoroughly enjoyed your poetic Septembers.
You carried me back to those vacations in Maine
when the warm days and
cold nights were glorious and memorable
reminiscent of Emily Dickinson's Autumn:
"The Morns are meeker than they were
The nuts are getting brown;
The berry's cheek is plumper,
The rose is out of town."

Bravo and all the best, Don Two
I look forward to reading more of
your poems.



16
16
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Baloney Bill

Summer Vacation, A Mother's View

I love this delightful poem.
I wonder--- could this poem
be a Limerick ?
Well, a child's limerick
must have 5 lines. And, it
must be silly !! *Laugh*.
And, I believe limericks have a
rhyming pattern.
First line, Second Line
Third line, Fourth Line
Fifth Line

I hope I have this right, Mr.
Baloney. I wonder what
Edward Lear, the so-called
"father" of Limericks
would think of this delightful poem ?
I think your poem is
the epitome of a silly and
entertaining poem.

Now that we've had such fun
reading this poem,
we're going to look for more of your
utterly delightful limericks,
Baloney Bill.

Bravo and all the best...
17
17
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)

To Connieann:

Your friend's 95th Anniverssary

What a wonderful tribute this is, Connie !
Your friend Joan sounds like a dear,
very special pal. In addition to being able
to spend time with you whenever possible,
Joan is obviously a great friend who is
also thoughtful and caring, While she has
achieved her 95th year
one of her greatest gifts is having a
dear, very special friend like you.

This last stanza is lovely, Connie.
I hope you have a cheery chat on
July 29th. I especially hope each of you will enjoy
another year with a treasured pal. `
.
I can't imagine a better gift than the
gift of your friendship, dear, Connie.

All the best
18
18
for entry "Summer
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


To: Nfdarbe

Re: Sizzling Summer

Thank you, Snow. This is as lovely a poem
regaling summer as I have read in a long time.
While we are thoroughly engaged in our worries
about the dreaded disease, it is wonderful to
revel in the beauty, purity, and greatness
of summer.

Warmest best,

Gab
19
19
Review of Couldn’t save  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Title: Couldn't Save

Observation: While I am not a fan or well versed on the topic of
ghost stories, I decided to do some homework on the topic.
I looked for and learned a bit about the films and stories written
by Zoya Akhtar . Along with this creator of
gruesome stories, I found your story is also macabre,
emphasizing the details and symbols of death in a
grim ghastly atmosphere.

You may be pleased to find that your short story is
similar to those found in the Cyclopaedia of "Ghost Stories"
Most of these stories are haunting and many were written
during the Victorian and Edwardian‎ periods.

Review:

I found your story appropriately bleak and oppressive. You do a fine job developing an atmosphere that is terrifying and at first, difficult to anticipate. Once the handcuff's were unlocked, I could see there could
only be one empty ending in this death knell.

I admire the effort you put into this story. Considering the brevity
of your story's backdrop and background, you managed to
maintain an atmosphere that is bristling with unspeakable rage.
Well done.

20
20
Review of Run Away  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)



First and foremost:

A warm welcome to Writing.Com, Chantelle
As you may have noticed, we have a number of inviting
programs developed to welcome new members.
We hope you will enjoy taking advantage of these opportunities
to begin writing:

FORUM
The Angel Outreach Program  (13+)
For newbies seeking mentors and writers needing support via their peers; stop by today!
#1403831 by iKïyå§ama

"Noticing Newbies
"Invalid Item
"Newbie Contest Challenge!!

What I found in This Piece that Caught my Attention

Title: Run Away

"Run Away" caught my attention the moment
I opened the door to Chantelle's portfolio. Naturally, I
was curious to find what lurks behind her title.
Her choice of format is a perfect match with this piece.

Not long ago, I moved into a cottage in New England-
one of several built for soldiers who came back from World
War II without families or homes to return to.
My house is a small clapboard cottage. We can tell
when it was built by looking at and wondering if the
kitchen and stove will be large enough for me. Both
were designed for the individual soldiers who
almost never did more than boil water for
morning coffee or an occasional bowl of soup.

This spare but effective tale begins with a woman who is running down the streets doing her best to avoid tripping over the remains of a horrific battle that is now reduced to nothing but smoke . She lost the old woman who crossed the streets with her. Now, she is exhausted and hungry. The few soldiers who survived this carnage break into the story with guns pointed challenging this woman who is now running for her life. She appeals to the soldiers with their pointed guns. All she wants is safety and someone to take her in.

'Take her in.' Wil snapped his head to Dave, protesting. Dave raised his hand that stopped Wil even before he began. With a sigh, he gave in.
'Follow me', he said turning around.

Genesis had won them over. But now she had a feeling she would be running again ."

Closing Remarks: For this writer, description is an indispensable tool
The author shows us the level of observation can reveal character as well as providing visual and plot detail

Bravo and all the best...........
21
21
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love the first...60K
22
22
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Author: Tina Stone
Story: Attitude is Everything

This Story's Preface:

Dillon was a difficult client to work with. Staff, even well-seasoned staff went out of their way not to be assigned to Dillon. He was young, only 19. He was labeled difficult, noncompliant, combative, stubborn. More often than not, it took two people to manage him. No one liked working with Dillion. Except for one crazy lady. Me

My other title is: "Crazy New Lady"
I couldn't decide if I should be considered "crazy"
because I'm an angel who everyone thinks
is crazy to take on a young, thoroughly rambunctious
kid, or because I fell in line engaging the students
by behaving boisterous just like the rest of the school's poorly
trained staff.

"At the end of my two week training period, I talked to my supervisor. I told her I noticed it took two staff to deal with these two particular clients and that it often led to all the clients on the floor being late or disrupted during their morning routines. I asked if I could be the ONLY staff to tend to these two clients in the morning, for the next two weeks. They would be my main priorities along with my regular duties. My supervisor was skeptical but decided to let the crazy new girl try it."

Epilogue:

Having given her heart and soul to soothe her relationships with Dillon and the other feisty students, Dillon allowed her to help him undress while she chattered with him the whole time. From start to finish she had him up, showered, dressed and ready for the med line almost twenty minutes ahead of schedule.

This is an excellent, well written story that does more than amplify, it
informs and underscores how difficult it can be for the students and caregivers who live in government institutions.

Bravo, Tina. You tell a good story.

23
23
Review of Snowy Cold Rain  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Poet: Anna Marie Carlson
Poem: Snowy, Cold, Rain

Your Style: Having read a few of your poems, I noticed that you enjoy creating poems with long, slender lines that exude elegance and are remarkably effective. Each message is simple and direct.

An Example: The thrill was lost when it started to chill, and the breeze filled the air with a bit of despair.

One short error:
You write: "the snowy cold rain fall down on the plain."
I suggest: the snowy cold rain fell down on the plain.

I particularly like your closing line: "The snowy cold rain was a pain to explain; the picture was a dis by many. Since we were looking for spring, it was disdained, and that my friend is a very good thing."

Bravo, Anna Marie Carlson !

I look forward to reading more of your poems.

24
24
for entry "MicroPoetry
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


What fell from your branches

you: are terseley cogent
where:walking down a windy path
you: are enflamed with passion
you: write ravenously
your poems: unrestrained
your poetry: set the world on fire
you relate: wildlife
you: some days are like living in the arctic
you: platlets: change shape
you: look for the route cause
your: deep intelligence
you: are constantly born anew
you: life is all around ua
you: elevate and imbue
you: and the complexities of nature
you: and the soft earth's breath
you: write as though there is a law of nature
25
25
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (3.5)


--All Hail the King--

Overview:


This is a delightful little story the size of a postal stamp.
Aside from those brief moments when your story has an occasional
spelling glitch, you paint a glorious portrait of a simple man who
dreams he will someday become a King, a man who will sit firmly on the King's throne to rule a multitude of people.

Needless to add, the admiring audience will never grow tired
of their king. The little children will carry the day when they
lead the crowds singing: "Long live my King"

One day he prays and gives thanks to God Almighty before he
realized he had just been dreaming.
"Damn it, this is just a dream," he said to himself.
He closes his story with:
"I will surely rule my world one day with my handwork, integrity and my work for humanity. " he concludes wearing this simple man's
attire when he goes off to work.

Before Closing: A few Blunders Waiting to be Fixed:

Breathe taking should be breath-taking
Glarring should be Glaring
Eeliminate a where you wrote: a terifying blazes
Terifying should be terrifying

We look forward to more stories. Bravo and all the best.......
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