Chapter 1, The Birds Glide
Author: Morag MacShuibhne
A warm welcome to you, Morag ! i hope you're making your way
around Writing.Com comfortably. If you find you need a little help
or guidance, don't hesitate to get in touch. I notice that you live
in Scotland. I don't recall having seen a Scottish writer here.
You may be the first !
As for your story, it is compelling from the first to your story's
last sentence. While Crow lives on the scraps he finds
walking the streets, he needs much more. He has a family to take care of.
His 4-year-old sister is his greatest concern. She doesn't get
enough food to eat. Crow worries about her, and feels inadequate.
Stealing might be the only way, but it is also dangerous.
In this first chapter, Crow literally bumps into a lovely lady who
gives him enough money to buy a few meals. This unplanned
meeting is a miracle. Crow is now able to buy a couple of meals.
He leaves this woman wondering about her and hoping
he'll see her again.
Morag, you are a talented writer. While you write a good story,
I wonder where you get help to follow up on your stories ?
This story's oldest brother, Crow, and the youngest child, Arabelle
are introduced right away in this story. You've done a good
job introducing these two characters.
I see some small fixes are needed. If you'd like, I'd be happy to
send my suggestions to you separately so that you're able to
make changes privately. Your story is well worth the effort to
fix as you go. You'll find your story has greater appeal when it
is presented without errors.
Thanks for sharing your story, Morag. I look forward to reading
All the best,