While your initial interest in writing was planted because of the scribblings you did on the newspapers you delivered everyday, my interest in writing started with reading illustrated Bible stories in Sunday School. It graduated to reading Classic Fairy Tales and comic books in the primary and elementary grades.
Understand that I was born and raised in the Philippine Islands. That means, we speak a language all our own. But when I started school, English was adopted as a medium of instruction. Therefore, we were taught English side by side with our own. Thanks to the friendship and influence of the USA in the islands.
My love in learning the English language took a big hunk of my formative years in the educational system. I couldn't put a book down. it became an excuse for me from doing errands at home. Every time my mother called me to do something for her, I always heard my father say, " Leave her alone. She's reading." So I hid behind the book!
Out of this, a seed was planted deep within me. I started fantasizing that the cover of the book had my Byline on it. I always looked forward to homework assignments that required to submit essays or book reports. After a while when that did not satisfy me anymore, I pored over magazines, looking for a Pen Pal section. I wanted to communicate with an English-speaking person.
That started my letter-writing journey that carried me away from the Islands into New England, USA, in 1973.
As I started to acclimate into the English-speaking society, I had difficulty in joining the mainstream with my foreign accent. I resolved to learn it because that ember in me did not die. It pestered me. It wanted to come out of the shadows after forty years in hiding. I have a ton of stories to write about. And they are all screaming to be told.
Imagine my excitement when I bumped into Writing.com and finding that I can get help in honing my writing skills.
So, here I am. I'm coming out of my shell. Thanks to you and your encouragement. I'm establishing my home here. Voila!
Wow! Very impressive work of Sci-Fi writing. You make your inanimate and robotic characters behave like human beings. You have a gift of imagination that's empowering. Moreover, your use of dialogue make them come alive. Punctuations are apropriately and effectively used as well.
With your knack for writing, you're headed towards a best-seller in bookstands, I hope.
I'm not a Sci-Fi fan, but your delivery shown in this sample piece is giving me a second thought, pivoting towards reading them from time to time.
So, did this piece win the Short Story contest? I'm curious to know.
Fate comes in mysterious and unpredictable ways and circumstances. It comes when we least expect it. Your scenario is a good example for it. It's also a pleasant thing when it comes at a low point in our lives and it takes us out of our foreboding.
Nice work with the limited words the contest allowed.
Nice hook. Flashlights and lighthouses juxtaposed! Your narration carried me away out into the deep seas in the dark of night. But for the lighthouse, I would never have found my way back.
Not only is your article intriguing, it is also educational and informative. Giving a background on how lighthouses came about makes it valuable to the inquisitive reader.
You see, my husband and I love collecting miniature lighthouses. I love Lighthouse calendars. In fact, I have a book on lighthouses, titled, "The Ultimate Book of Lighthouses" compiled by Samuel Willard Crompton and Michael J. Rhein. It contains history, legend, lore, design, technology and romance. It is all encompassing.
I gave this book to my husband. Inside the cover, I wrote," Here's something to complete your Lighthouse collection."
I find your argument very compelling. Most likely, it's because I am a believer in the existence of God.
Here's my take away from behaviours of pre-historic humans, long before there were books to read, churches and temples to worship in, or educational institutions to study science and all those disciplines:
Man, found a way to seek a higher power; man worshipped nature; man made images likened to an unseen being. Why? Because man found his limits. There is something out there that he cannot comprehend; finding that not one person on earth before his time ever lived forever opened his eyes to the reality that there is a power above him and over him who is in control.
Science does not negate the existence of God. It supports the Biblical account. The only way Science can prove itself to be the source of absolute truth is when it can find a way to make human beings eternal and immortal.
Did you watch the debate between Bill Nye (the Scientist) and Ken Ham (the promoter of Creationism)? They had good arguments on either side. It's up to the audience to decide who was more compelling than the other. And I chose Ken Ham's because he is a firm believer of the Genesis account of how our world was created.
Thanks for sharing your treatise. It's informative, educational and enlightening. Keep it up.
Very impressive work. You nailed your one-syllable story down pat from the point of view of a teen-ager. A high school student with limited vocabulary is the perfect choice for your character.
That's a challenging task to undertake. I looked at every word in every sentence and in every paragraph. Read it over again. I couldn't find two-syllable words - here, there, anywhere!
I enjoyed your conversational style of writing. It's very entertaining and engaging. Sounds like you and I are having a girlie talk over a cup of coffee.
Let me tell you a secret. I had tummy tuck and I never regretted the cost. It was worth every penny I had saved to get the procedure done. I felt good about myself again after the extra bulge was removed.
So my question to you is: Did you go through the scalpel after you wrote this musing whether you want it or not? I'm curious to know how you end up deciding what to do.
It's a fun read. Do you have more to share? Okay.. I'll go check your portfolio.
I find your letter very interesting and revealing. You are more tolerant than me when it comes to Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on my door. I admire your openness and friendliness towards these "uninvited" Saturday morning visitors. My husband is kind, friendly and polite as well towards them. He engages them in casual conversations, just outside, on the front porch, though. We agreed that we cannot let them in. If we do, they will take our whole day talking about issues that neither of us can get an advantage over.
Your presentation is well done, although I disagree with your premise that Jesus was born a bastard; also, how can a buddhist be a catholic at the same time? I don't think you will receive blessings from the Pope of Rome if you tell him you're Buddhist/Catholic. He'll most likely excommunicate you. Seriously.
I like your use of punctuations, such as quotation marks, colon, and bullets. They make your points stand out.
Over-all, you presented your letter well and I hope your friends got your point across.
Can you help me in formatting? I have difficulty with my dialogues. The "tab" does not seem to work each time I tab for a new paragraph. My new paragraphs are not aligned. What am I doing wrong? I'm referring to what I just submitted, titled, "Honk, If You Like Rush." Can't get the ID# while I'm in this screen. I'll come back and link it if you want me to. Thanks.
Very informative and instructional. Well presented. Thank you for taking the time to guide the reviewer in evaluating submissions for feedback.
Truthfully, I joined writing.com for feedback because I cannot see my own mistakes. I find it helpful when my work is viewed from an objective and critical eye.
It's getting clearer in this segment that Grief and Katy's husband, Alain, are one and the same but the author needs to find a way to tie them together; unless, Alain have a split personality: one that is down-to-earth and the other one, grief-stricken. Nevertheless, these two characters need to be reconciled in the reader's mind.
Also, dialogues help your characters come to life. Inject dialogues to break the monotone of narration.
If the reader of your story is like me, I would have numerous questions you as the author have to answer, such as:
1) Who is the "He" in this statement,"He recalled her writhing from side to side, as she experienced contraction after contraction"?
2) Is it Grief?
3) Why is Grief a "he" in your story?
4) And how do you know what he recalled or where he sits, etc?
Finally,
5) Is Grief evolving as Katy's husband?
If your husband is personified by Grief, my suggestion would be to have your husband be there right from the start. Show him as a supportive, loving and caring husband who is there for you at every turn. Grief emanating from his countenance can surface at every devastating report from the doctors as they come in all through the ordeal.
The story would be more convincing for me, if Grief and your husband were treated this way. Then, they can behave interchangeably without interrupting the reader's interest.
Look it over again and see if you can give if another angle. Like I say, that's just my suggestion.
I'm not sure if I understood the point of this short story. The statement,
"The technician listed the defects from the scan, one after the other, each more heartbreaking than the last. Of all the words that Katy could not escape, "He may not be compatible with life,"
This did not ring true for me. Did the outcome of the scan really printed those words? How can a person not be compatible with life?
I understand grief and its overwhelming destructive effect in our body and soul. I like the author's personification of "Grief." But the question that nagged me was, Why was "Grief" kind to Katy? Was it kindness that her son died?
My suggestion: Incorporate the three elements of a short story: beginning, middle and end. Be clear and down to earth with your description of the grief that engulfed you the way a mother grieves over the loss of her beloved child.
Over-all, you're on your way to better days ahead with your writing. Keep up the good work.
Your account of how the Writer's Cramp impacted your writing journey is an inspiration for me as a newbie.
I've only been here a week and I want to know the ins and outs of writing all at once.
As I move around, I find that I need to build GPs to be able to use them as rewards for reviews and such. I also discovered that doing reviews earns the reviewer auto--rewards.
So, here I am doing reviews with auto rewards. After I have earned enough, I will request reviews for my work.
Thanks for sharing your monologue. It's easy for me to see myself in your shoes.
Hi Ryan:
In 1991, office workers were far from computer savvy. In fact, my co-workers were still resisting the introduction of PCs and insisted on the conventional way on doing things. I can understand where that frustrated caller was coming from. I totally empathize with her.
In fact, I have a problem that you might be able to help me with. Haha. It has something to do with SAN DISK memory card. Can I stick any memory card to my PC and it will work? Would it take too much disk space every time a new memory card is inserted?
Now, don't smirk. Much less, chuckle. I'm serious.
Good write up. Revealing and entertaining. Say, write more.
What a wonderful way too express your sadness and contrition with the slow disappearance of honeybees.
I can relate to this. We had a big storage bin that we left on our sun-deck to store chair pads during wintertime. In early Spring, we noticed bees flying every which way. We thought nothing of it because honeysuckle covers our fence around our lot and they were happily feeding themselves.
By late Spring, we noticed the bees congregating on the stairs to the sun-deck. We were concerned because we had our grandchildren playing and they could be stung if they happen to swat one landing on their faces, arms or legs.
I tried to trace where the bees built their home. It just dawned on me that they could have built their honeycomb in the chimney because they were there a year before. So I went up to the sun-deck and looked around. I listened to the buzzing sound and followed it. There in the drainage hole of the storage bin were bees going in and out.
We did not dare open the bin. My husband suggested to wait until dark to pick it up and carry it down. We laid it as far from the house and close to the fence. We opened it to allow them to leave when they saw the ray of light in the morning.
It took them a few days to evacuate. I took pictures of the bin in the dark of night. And when daylight came, I took pictures of the millions of bees scurrying around looking for cover. I also took pictures of the bin with the abandoned honeycomb inside.
I'm sharing this story so you know where I'm coming from and I do appreciate your concern over our disappearing honeybees.
This is a Must Read for aspiring writers who are ready to submit their work. The step-by-step instruction leaves nothing to wonder whether something is missed before sending it out. I highly recommend this as a Reference when writing a query letter.
What a wonderful testimony. Christ can truly change our lives when we accept Him as our personal Saviour, Lord and Master. Abide with Him. You're life will be forever blessed.
As far as writing is concerned, are you still writing? What I can suggests you do is to pay attention to your format, grammar and spelling. Read a lot. This will help to improve the flow of your writing tremendously. We stop our readers from reading when they see typos that are preventable.
Keep up the good work you started. You'll be a pro in no time.
I am hooked! I cannot get up and do my daily chores now. I want to know the ins and outs of writing and publishing from this website. Just be patient with me because I'm a newbie and wading through the maze is a big challenge for me right now.
This is an awesome website. I'm so pleased, inspired and motivated to submit my drafts and unpublished work for critiquing and review. My goal this year is to get my work out there because they've been hiding for so long. Thank you, Writing.com for coming to my little nook.
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