\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gobbledock/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/8
Review Requests: OFF
635 Public Reviews Given
655 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I give constructive criticism, but always in a positive and encouraging manner. I'm honest and give advice for improvement where warranted, but I don't have any interest in shredding another writer's work. I will always do my best to focus on the areas that need attention. I like to give my interpretation of a piece (when applying to poetry) and enjoy giving a review that is both helpful and leaves the reader feeling positive about his or her work. On occasion, I will suggest rewording -- particularly in poetry -- and if you don't prefer this, you should advise me when submitting a request. I will always give the best quality review that I'm capable of, in content and presentation.
I'm good at...
My first passion is poetry, but I like all types and genres of writing and dabble in them all. I like poetry with depth and enjoy interpreting it and recognising artful use of convention. I'm good at finding the weak points in a poem and suggesting alternatives to strengthen them.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Romance/Love, Dark, and Comedy. These are my favourite, but I enjoy anything that makes me want to read on. Therefore, no genre is out of bounds.
Least Favorite Genres
Okay, if my arm is being twisted and I have to choose ... War and Spiritual. Both genres I find the least interesting, but I'm still open to reviewing them and will critique them fairly.
Favorite Item Types
Poetry and Short Stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Blogs and chapters. I don't hate them, they are just my least favourite.
I will not review...
I will review any genre or type with any content rating, providing it has a word count that doesn't exceed 3,000 words. Honestly, I prefer to review poetry. *Bigsmile*
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 -8- ... Next
176
176
Review of Tapestry of Light  Open in new Window.
Review by Mandy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. "Weekly" Review by Mandy Author Icon
Your poem was selected for review by the leaders of "Passionate Mindscapes."
For the premise of our group’s activity, please see: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader, and lover of poetry

OVERALL SENSE:
Calli, this is truly beautiful – one of those poems that you finish reading and wonder where it went! That is a credit to your ability to craft your words into a work of art. For me, this poem is all about finding a positive in a difficult situation, and coming through the other side a better person. The narrator is someone who has evolved spiritually and can look past the dark into the light, while showing others how to do the same.

CONVENTIONS:
The thing that stands out for me is your use of figurative language – it is sublime, and the imagery that comes with it brought nature to life. Both, rhythm and rhyme are impeccable, and nothing breaks the flow. This poem has everything. I am particularly fond of personification in poetry, and you have given a nice helping of it here. You have a new fan!

GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
Your grammar and spelling were excellent. There was only one little thing that I thought you might have overlooked. In the first line of the second couplet you have used an apostrophe after 'its' – I just wondered it you intended it that way.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
I couldn't suggest any improvement for this poem – it has no fault, in my opinion.

FAVORITE LINE(S):
:Some of my favourites:

“If we but love instead of judge – we're richer for the choice,
We paint the palette of our hearts to heed a greater voice.”

“No, do not tremble in the storms – when rainbows beckon you,
But weave a tapestry of light and majesty renewed.”

These lines paint a pretty picture, but they also have a nice message. I liked your last couplet, and it's fitting that you summed up the whole theme of the poem here. Don't be afraid of the struggle, keep going, and come out a stronger person – it has a heartfelt ending.

Calli, poetry such as this is an art form, and you are an accomplished artist. I really appreciate the opportunity to review your work!

Regards,
Miss Bee

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
177
177
Review of You & Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Mandy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Overall sense:
Rixy, I found this poem to be a delightful read. It's the simple scenario of sex before marriage – to indulge, or not to indulge! The narrator in this particular poem opted for the latter. It was sweet and very funny. I think it's one of those poems that you would chuckle about while writing. I laughed out loud when I hit one stanza in particular.

Conventions:
Your poem was perfectly written in my eyes. It's one of those free forms that are still controlled, in a sense, and the rhythm and rhyme were spot on. It's just an entertaining and original poem, and though you used a lot of plain statement, your words still create great imagery. I had a vision of a disgruntled male huffing and puffing because he wasn't getting what he desired the most. Thank you for the chuckle!

Grammar/Spelling:
For me, your grammar and spelling were faultless.

Areas for improvement:

I don't think there is any need to improve upon this poem. The best part is you managed to tell a story in such a concise poem, and you did it with humour.

Favourite Lines:
This is the one that got me chuckling:

First we hugged,
Then we kissed.
I said No
And you were pissed.

Very funny! The way you accentuated the 'No' added so much to this stanza.

I always get a lot from humorous poetry and this is no exception. It is a craft to deliver a poem that can affect the reader's mood. I appreciate the opportunity to review your work. Thank you for sharing!

Regards,
Miss Bee

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
178
178
Review by Mandy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
A "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. "Weekly" Review by Mandy Author Icon
Your poem was selected for review by the leaders of "Passionate Mindscapes."
For the premise of our group’s activity, please see: "Passionate Mindscapes Weekly Recognition" 


I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader, and lover of poetry

OVERALL SENSE:
I really like what you did with this poem. It tells the story of lonely lovers that miss the special bond they once shared, even though it no longer works. I can almost feel the aching heart of the narrator as they ponder on what they once had. It has quite a sad feel to it, but is very appropriate for the situation. What is harder than still wanting someone who you can no longer have?

CONVENTIONS:
This free form has good natural rhyme and it flows well. It has a nice rhythm and I enjoyed the images you created of two lonely people sitting at their desks reminiscing and idealizing each other. I think it works simply from the depth of emotion.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
I could find no fault with your spelling and grammar. I know punctuation is a topic of hot debate but I liked what you did with it. Only you know where you want a pause or continuity in the flow. Some would argue that the stanzas should end with a period, but I think the lack of them in the last three stanzas worked – unfinished, much the same as the relationship considered in the poem.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
I don't have any suggestions for improvement on this poem. It is heartfelt and relatable, and any changes in a poem like this would have to come from the author's judgement.

FAVORITE LINE(S):
My favourite lines are within the first stanza:

I'm sorry that I am not,
The man you so desperately sought.
The one that you hold in your heart,
He, who you crave when you're apart.

These are the most soulful lines for me, again showing the longing of the narrator.

I always get so much out of poetry that is straight from the heart, and this is no exception. Thank you for sharing your craft!

Regards,
Miss Bee

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
179
179
Review of My Miracle  Open in new Window.
Review by Mandy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Janice,

I have read most of your poems, and enjoyed them all, but this one has to be my favourite. Not only does it have a beautiful warmth that comes from genuine emotion, but it is also very well written.

The rhyme is spot on and your use of language is excellent. It has a nice flow, too.

Grammar, punctuation and spelling are faultless, from what I can tell.

A choice stanza:

You've always comforted me, when no one else cared,
You never complained, and you were always there.
I thank God everyday for sending you to me,
I know that is how God wanted it to be.

I think you portray the emotion behind the poem very well, and this stanza speaks of the bond that only family can share. Usually, family are the ones that you can count on through thick and thin, and they love you no matter what is going on in your life. It is unconditional and I think that is the theme of your poem - unconditional love - the best kind.

This touched me:

No matter how old or young you are,
You will always be my shining star.

This is so true. I think a parents always consider their children to be their perfect babies, regardless of how old or how accomplished.

What makes your poems is the love behind them - they come straight from the heart.

Thank you for sharing your poetry!

Miss Bee.
180
180
Review by Mandy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Winnie,

What a well-delivered story. You craft your words beautifully, and this is a fine example of how characterisation determines the quality of a story, not how many bullets are being fired at someone's head!
This can work too, but it has to be the complete package, which you have given.
Don't get me wrong -- your story is fast-paced, concise and shown, rather than told.
The reader can easily gain a clear vision of the character's appearance and personality, and the characters are very real people; so relatable that they could live next door.

Your descriptive language is sublime, and tight.

Example:

"The petite intruder looked to be in her mid-fifties. She was dressed in neatly pressed denim shorts and a bright yellow, spaghetti strapped top. She wore stylish flip-flops with a big yellow flower over the neatly painted toes of each foot. The shoes perfectly matched the summer top and the yellow comb in her short, red, salon-styled hair. A subtle whiff of expensive perfume floated into the room."

Also, you create nice scenes, with all the elements, even the sense of smell(perfume.)

I like this:

"As she glided inside, I detected the posture and moves of a graduate from Mrs. Aster's Finishing School. Suddenly, I became conscious of my faded Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger t-shirt and my stringy cut-offs. I looked down at my bare, unpedicured feet and felt under-dressed in my own house."

Right here, you humanise your character even more. I'm there! I felt her mortification and feelings of inadequacy. Who hasn't felt like that at some point in their life, for whatever reason?

There were some funny moments that really brought a smile to my face.

Favourite:

"Wiping the tears from her eyes, Jean said, a little apprehensively, "Do you have any beer?"

"Sure," I said, as I thought, Hmm ... I think we might just get along fine."

Very funny!

Your dialogue is seamless and has great natural flow.

A fine example:

"I'm looking for my dog, Lulu. Have you seen her? White poodle? Medium size?" A worried look crossed her tastefully made-up face."

Your dialogue is only enhanced with character description and internal dialogue. It creates a nice flow.
You chose a fitting title that hooks, and there's a nice little message in this story.

I am no expert, and have made countless mistakes with grammar in my own work, but as far as I can see, your grammar is perfect.

I can't fault your story, Winnie. It is so neat, descriptive and warm.
I will return to your port. I felt like a kid in a playground amongst your projects!

Bravo!
Miss Bee.
181
181
Review of Brick by Brick  Open in new Window.
Review by Mandy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Yellow Rose,

I wanted to return the favour so chose the poem that resonated with me the most - "Brick by Brick."

This is an easy read. I like a free verse poem that flows along as well as a good one written in rhyme.

Your layout and grammar are spot on and I like the unusal structure of the ending verse.

Favourite Lines:

"Imagine a smile to greet each day
Think of the limitless possibilities
Find the courage to take that step"

I can't imagine anyone that wouldn't be able to relate to this on some level - wh ether it be in a relationship or battling depression or something else entirely. It has a positive message for many.

"Break down that wall that isolates
Think past the misery that holds you."

Your emotions go straight into the piece and in my opinion that's what makes a poem a pleasure to read - it's real.

This one comes straight from the heart.

Thanks for the beautifully written poem. I shall be back for more!

Cheers,
Miss Bee.
182
182
Review of Asperger's Eyes  Open in new Window.
Review by Mandy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sean,

For me this poem is beautiful. It tugged on my heart strings just a little bit because the subject is close to my heart. It shows the internal conflict that one in this situation feels, and how abstract the thoughts and feelings can be. Thank you for writing about something so misunderstood.

Sweet melodies that I can hear,
now from the birds around me,
If my mind is simple now you think,
I thank God in advance, for I'm to be.

This verse really resonates with me. I think you did a great job.

Cheers,
Miss Bee.
183
183
Review of Letters  Open in new Window.
Review by Mandy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

Wow! This is a great story. It has great structure and flow. It was completely unpredictable from start to end and I enjoyed the read. I didn't stop to question any part of it; your grammar and layout were great, and it was an all round effort. It's great to find a treasure like this. Your dialogue was believable, your scenes had great descriptions and almost put the reader there. You know how to portray the emotions the character is feeling, and it works on many levels.
A very well written and polished piece. Congrats!
This quality of writing speaks of experience(I hope I don't get in trouble for this, but I have to go with five stars.)

Cheerio,
Miss Bee.
183 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 8 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gobbledock/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/8