 Greetings, Leila 
It is my pleasure to review "Son of the Moon"  as part of your spoils of war, Gold General. This review is part of your winnings from "Invalid Item"
NOTE: Please remember that the following comments and observations are only one person's opinion. Take what you can use but never be shy about discarding what you cannot. Most important of all, keep writing, improving, and contributing to our wonderful community!
WHY I CHOSE TO REVIEW THIS ITEM:
Greetings, Gold General! This review is a part of your spoils. Whilst browsing your port, I happened upon this short story and was intrigued by the title. I like a dose of the Fantasy/Mythology genre on the odd occasion, and this seemed like the right medicine.
PLOT/OVERALL SENSE:
I like where you took this story, and I think the premise behind it is a good one that could definitely be expanded into a larger work. Perhaps a bit more character building and description would give you the desired result. Native American mythology has a mystical quality to it, and you describe the people and their way of life, well. Their beliefs are all about Spirit, the connection to nature and their beliefs in the ancestors. You have given a strong sense of this here, and the link between the moon, the stars and the boy, cement these beliefs, adding to the ending of your story. You have a clear beginning, middle and end, with a good denouement that ties up the story, but also leaves room for expansion if you wanted to add more to the piece. I think if you fleshed out the story and added to the layers, you could turn this into a novel. The idea is interesting, and I think you could really add to the adventure and colour. There are a lot of side avenues with a tale like this.
SETTING:
Again, this story is concise, and a lot of information is given in not a lot of words. What I did get was a clear sense of the environment, and I could see the characters bounding over boulders as they tried to escape the warriors. Alot of times, the setting builds in the reader's mind without a lot of description of the landscape. I think when you are describing a race of people that lived life a certain way, the images are already there. Basically, the dialogue and the race of people detailed give a sense of setting. Good job in this area!
DIALOGUE:
Dialogue can be a tricky thing to write convincingly. You seem to have a natural flair for it, and I found the conversations to flow quite well. It didn't seem fake or unnatural, but rather, it added to the sense of character. I particularly like the boy's comments at the end of the piece. This is the point when I really felt like you were introducing him, and he spoke with a maturity and leadership that fit his superior status as a chosen one. He could easily be turned into a hero that would be the center of your story.
GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION:
I found a few bugs in this area. As below:
"She drew herself her man closer,"  "She drew herself closer to her man"
"Ten men to kill a a single man,"
"The full moon will rise tonight, so their time might be running out if the prophecy were to be believed."
You switch tense in the above. Suggestion: "The full moon would rise that night,"
"The woman and the child ran [the] other way; three of his men should be enough to deal with them."
I would suggest a period, rather than a semi-colon after 'way'. Also, you might consider italicising the second phrase to show that it is the man's thought. On first reading I was a little confused at this point.
"White Buffalo sung [sang] like a bird[,] to bring[ing] his warriors into formation to surround and trap the man — four against one."
The above is a suggestion for clarity.
"looking for any sign of her man [White Sun] or [her] foes."
Another for clarity.
"Eleven animals were under the full moon when same stars of the day I came to be were lighting the sky." "On the day I came to be, eleven animals were under the full moon, and stars lit the sky."
A suggestion for clarity.
EXCELLENT WRITING EXAMPLES:
It was said a boy marked by the moon would be born.
This is a great way to open -- both intrigueing and catchy -- it lures the reader to find out more.
"The prophecy came true. The owl gave me wisdom; the eagle, its sight; the squirrel, its climbing skill; the cougar, its silent walk; the deer, its speed; the bear, its strength; the bat ,its hearing; the wolf, its smell; the fox, its sharpness; the warbler, its song; and the buffalo will give me my people back.
It is here that you explain the prophecy and the power that has been bestowed upon the boy. This is what I mean about leaving room to expand the story. Now that the abilities of the young warrior have been explained, it leaves an opening for more of the story.
"When I come to them riding it, they will believe." He stood up and pushed his mother gently down. "Now rest, mom. It's over. Our people will have peace."
As I mentioned above, this is a good way to complete the story, and you tie up all ends. Great job!
PRESENTATION:
In a normal review, I don't usually reserve a space for presentation, but this is one of those times when it needs a mention. I found this story a pleasure to read because of the time you have spent making it visually appealing. Your use of font and colour are a treat, and easy on the eyes! Your introduction is very attractive, and even a light splattering of emoticons doesn't detract from the piece. Very few people pay as close attention to these details, and I give you credit for paying it the attention it deserves.
CONCLUSION:
Thank you for sharing this with me, Leila. I now know that you are as passionate and creative in your writing as you are on the battlefield!  I think a few small changes on this piece would make it even better. Johnny Blood is coming to visit you soon. 
Regards,
Mandy
Creator of The Poetry Contest Corner and The Lucky Leprechaun Raffle,
co-founder of Passionate Mindscapes, and proud member of The Traditional Poetry Group, Rising Stars, and Showering Acts of Joy.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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This review is a part of your shower from "
Basically, it's what I'd call a cold snap, only in reverse. If I didn't have a basic understanding of an Indian summer, I wouldn't have been able to grasp the true meaning of this wonderful poem. The tone shifts dramatically in this piece, and I think that's what makes it so good. You describe the beauty of this natural magic show at the beginning of the poem, but the mood changes when the narrator flashes back to unsettling memories, sentimental recollections of a grandmother, and everything that is associated with the deceased relative. This is the best part. Just like the Indian summer is an unexpected flashback of how things were in nature, so are the memories of childhood and a happier time. The Indian summer returns during a bleaker season; the sweet memories return in a bleaker stage of life. 
As I read this poem, I could hear the music in my head, and it really added to the humour of the piece. In a poem of rhyming couplets (variations to match the song), the end-rhymes are excellent, and I think the rhythm does justice to the song. Your great use of vocabulary creates strong images, and I could see the poor cow begging the milkman for reprieve. By the way, who is this milkman you speak of ... ? 
On a damp cloudy pasture, swatting flies on my ass,
and the cowbell clanging. It gave me a good sense of this lovely place/space. 
A review from "
WHY I CHOSE TO REVIEW THIS ITEM:
It is a matter of style, of course, but I think this poem would benefit from using capitals where grammatically correct. I think it depends on the poem. This one is sonorous and free-flowing, and the only time I paused was at this line: "Unpolished; youth holds age at bay". The capital 'U' made me hesitate for a moment. As I said, I like to capitalise the beginning lines of my poetry, too, but sometimes it depends on the poem. 
"Unpolished; youth holds age at bay