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188 Public Reviews Given
243 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Toressa  
Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for this sweet post. As a musician and a writer, I can see that this poetic verse is better understood with the music. I would be interested to see the chord changes. Love songs are the best and I have written perhaps 6 or 7 over the years. I wrote one once for a woman I loved and lost...perhaps like you. Played it only once and she was gone.I enjoy this Keep up the good work. BEAR
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Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you this post. This was a powerful short story; the realism crystal clear. IT might have well been a report from one of those California fires in fact. A very nice read. I am no expert so take my critique with a grain of salt. There are some parts that seemed unnecessary; such as :
" His girlfriend, Lucy, thought for a second or two before answering. “Are you sure it’s safe to drive so close?” she finally asked " she finally asked seems to be out of place. The fact that it is a question, need not be explained. You might want to reread your piece slowly or out loud and think about it. At least that was some suggestion I have had in others reviewing my items. But a great story none the less. Tragic! but Great. BEAR
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Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a nice smart poem and I enjoyed the read. You seem to refer to a relationship in some ways; then again it may well be just goodbye to a lover, doing so gently as to not cause pain and hurt. The ending I kind of funny to me as the way I took it is that we end up doing it all over again only to find I assume; the same results. Have a great day. BEAR
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Review of Climacteric  
Review by BEAR
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Thank you for your post. This is a short but sweet poem with a lot of visions. Using a clothes line as a place for our heart to dry out lends me a sight of perhaps a broken one. Also fragile as the wind might take it away into a tree. The mikveh linens I assume were once bloodied, now cleansed; the transformation complete. I have a hard time understanding ... "silver Sophias solemnize" unless perhaps it is an older woman ceremoniously doing this chore. All in all I found this poem very delightful. It flows well and it was a pleasure to review. Thanks BEAR
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Review of Grandpa's Back!  
Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Joy, and a joy it tis to review this ditty. I loved the visual I received while reading. I have fond memories of my grandfather as well and God knows have had those fears many a night.
Your verse flow very well. I am not very lettered to make suggestions other than I liked it. I would however have loved if it were longer and more telling and grandfather and you. I have a love of the sea and my ancestors were seamen so I would have liked to hear of his journeys which he no doubt would have unraveled from time to time with you. The ending made for perfection in that the scene returned to the table. I can only wonder what those letters contained. Thank you for your writing. I will look at more soon when I can get things stable again. Your portfolio has a wealth that I certainly will not pass by. BEAR




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Review by BEAR
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
GOOD MORNING, AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR POST. I FOUND THIS TO BE A RICH LESSON; ONE IN WHICH I WILL TRY TO APPLY IN MY LIFE. I AM NOT AN EXPERT SO TAKE WHAT I SUGGEST WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I THINK MIGHT NEED CONSIDERATION.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies. I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE REPEATING THOUGHTS HERE BY RESTATING DISTURBED ALONG WITH DISTURBANCE . ALSO PUNTUATION NEEDS SOME ATTENTION. OTHERWISE A NICE PIECE AND LESSON. THANKS bear.............
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Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for posting this. I enjoyed the subject as it reminded me of getting old. Some of the verse could be reworded and rhymn improved, but as I am no expert and my eyes waning. My pea sized brain fails me also at times. And like this bird, I never give up trying. Wonderful and enjoyable. BEAR
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Review by BEAR
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Dear writer. The words you penned deepen many of mine also. In life we make so many mistakes. But those of the heart are mistakes we carry forever. As I read your poem over and over .(literally) I could find even more depth each time. I even wished it was the one I lost penning her feelings toward me. Wishing all so much it was the truth. Perhaps in writing this you hoped deep down that somehow some way, these words will reach the one you have poured your heart out here. I wish not was true for you and I also.

Writing is what keeps memories alive. Though it may make us cry, there are so many reasons to smile. I have lost someone so dear to me it hurts very day. But when I think of her touch, her smiles, the smell of her hair and the beautiful things that I will always adore about her. I know despite she is gone...in my heart she is always there.
When you wrote " But in my heart you do reside" I could relate all so much. Sorrow and sadness for lost love will always produce a beauty in words. Yours here are just that BEAR
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Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am happy to review this nice story. I was moved by it's title which is like one I have. You see I have been homeless for 3 years myself and I have met those same people in your story. Their situations and so forth are so much alike. Sadly though, the police harass and even beat the homeless here in Wilmington Delaware. Once again thank you BEAR
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Review by BEAR
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Nice advice. I found that in the second sentence, you are missing a word perhaps. *Smile*

( After receiving a few replies, I started giving advice in greater detail on what ???? do when writing or editing.)
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Review of Blossoms Maligned  
Review by BEAR
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for this post. For now I can only say wow!! I was so captured by the characters and the beginings of first loves and the awkwardness of it all. It was so perfectly portrayed here. I was both Tom and Sarah and the drama that ended this was so overwhelming to me. I had not expected it although when you hinted It would a christmas they would never see, I immediately did not want to read the ending. I wanted these two characters to play out their newly found romance into eternity. It was so touching and moving. Then the reality of what we have all witnessed ourselves over past years of news reports similiar to what this story ended as.
Even to the last scene When Sarah could not whisper back her love I somehow wanted so badly for this to all go away and have a happy ending. Very powerful and emotional to say the least. It brought back fond memories as well as harsh realities to me. Thank you again S A Gibbins
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Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for your stirring account of childbirth. It is sad that to often many expectant mother's and father are down trodden to find that their precious one is stillborn. I myself have gone through this and have experienced the heartache it brings. My wife and I had a son that was. We have 3 daughters and a sone was what I wanted so much to complete our family. It never happened and although it was a tradgedy I look back at what we do have and that is 3 beautiful children. I see no visible mistakes here and have awarded you 5 stars . Thanks again S A Gibbins
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Review of Peregrine  
Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for your post. It was a piece that brough back fond memories of my Kestrel that I raised and how once realised he would come to me by just a whistle. Birds of prey are so magnifacent and I have also witnessed peregrines stoop like a bullet at prey, snatching them in mid air and retrieving them on the ground where they became a meal.
I enjoyed this freeform poetry very much and I will look forward to reading more of your work another time . S A Gibbins
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Review by BEAR
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Another fine chapter in this intrigueing saga. Here are a few things I have found in review. In paragraph 3 the dialog...there needs to be a space between thanks. We'll... In the word DiveLink.. I am wondering if a - is needed orr a space instead of a capital L. " I’ll repeat myself–it's really good to see you, sir." should be a comma.      "Yeah—it's a long story, Schultz. comma..........Anna, asks about you from time to time, as she plays with the Navy SEAL doll we gave her out of respect for you and your great bunch of guys.Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Lieutenant. (space needed between guys. and Oh,gee....................  "Sure thing.Thanks Schultz....space again...............  At 07:55 his crew of four SEALs arrived at the end of the pier. I would either make it SEALS or Seal's.................... These are just minor to say the least so I am going to give you a 4.5.
On another note I am wondering if more descriptiveness in the surrounding would help the story. I am rewriting my onw first novel and find that there is not enough about the surroundings. Just a side thought. I will try to review a few chapters from time to time as I can fit them in. Keep writing...it's a very good story so far. S A Gibbins
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Review by BEAR
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
The story line continues to intrigue me as a reader and the character developement. Clearly Austin had seen something but what and what is this savior and why had he been seperated out of mankind to have this contact. The story is rich with colorful description and I can place myself into the story. I have made some suggestions also. Thanks again. S A Gibbins
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Review by BEAR
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Thank you for this posting. I found the stage set well for this introduction into this story. The character developement leaves the reader with wonder of what is to come next. What has happened at the drop zone, where are the other men, and what is this strange creature that stands before the main character here. I did not find any misspelled words although the use of dashs may be something to consider removing. There are a few typos where the are extra spaces between words. Overall a good read. Thank you once again. S A Gibbins
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Review by BEAR
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello. I would like to say that your rebuttal is well sounded. I happen to feel that this site is a blessing and if the comment that got the hair on the back of your neck has not sudsided, then let me give you reason. I stumbled literally onto your site 2 years ago. So be the same token you could say I started when this person did. When I first joined I took advantage of the free posting because I was not sure of putting my things in public view. I have written since I was 14 and now...well I'm old. I always loved my stuff but never and I mean , never.. let anyone one see it, until I started here. I can't thank the tousands of people on here enough as well as your heartfelt desire to start this site to begin with, becasue I have gained more then any amount I have paid into it, and by the way if it weren't for the fact that I am unemployed, I would buy tons of GP. Why??? Because the more GP I can offer the more feedback I can get and that is what I want and need.
Anyway, I've been here two years. I have posted 107 items and have hundreds more if can just stop writing, but then again that will not happen. I have created 8 children's stories; 4 of which are posted, a bunch of short stories and lots more.....but...the other thing is this. I finished my first novel, I have recently had published two articles in two different venues, and most of all, I am on fire. The confidence I lacked all these years I gained here and the results show.
So let the hair sttle back down, let the unappreciative run their collective mouths and go their way. But they should read things like. WRITER DIGEST and they will see this is one of the best damn sites on the planet. So they can keep their 20 or 40 bucks. I say leave and give me more room. Thank you for letting me rant. You have a great day and thank for all the FREE stuff here. I used to tell people I'll be famous when I'm gone. Thanks to this site I just might make it before that. S A Gibbins
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Review of Cats  
Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for your post. I am reviewing you since you are featured. I liked this poem of free form. At first I thought I was reading about actual cats but see that you are embroidering them . Not sure if I spelled that right. Hey I'm a guy! The only thing I see that I might change is the word colour which is defined as: a flag that shows nationallity, or: a distinguishing emblem, which come to think of it this actually could be. Anyway great piece and welcome. S A Gibbins
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Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (4.5)
Goodmorning again my friend. This is a nice piece about a trip whale watching. I have had the pleasure of seeing them myself while offshore fishing. The flow is nice and it paints and beautiful picture. Your rhyme is good also. I don't have any suggestions for you to improve this piece. Keep up the good work. S A Gibbins
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Review of My Heart  
Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you and welcome to WDC. This poem is thoughtful and flows well. And I like the metaphor of renting a house connected with falling or taking a chance at love. Have a great day and thank you for posting this short but sweet poem. I will look forward to reading more from you as you continue to grow here on this site. S A Gibbins
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Review by BEAR
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Thank you for your post. The free form peice flows well and is very descriptive for this very magestic tree, the famous Redwood.The dirt that holds this beauty so fastened to the ground is richly described here also. One day I wish to see them and will remember your words. S A Gibbins
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Review of Untitled  
Review by BEAR
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Goodmorning. And thank you for this post This is a brilliantly described peice. The description paint such a vivd overall picture to this brief moment in the life and death of lovers I am giving you a 5 stars reating because of the content and your good use of the English language. I have only a few suggestions, since I am not expert myself. You may want ( and I say May loosely) To reread and perhaps resturcture your sentences a bit. The peice is fluid but I beileve the sentence structure could use some work. Also one point and I am not sure if you put this in referring to her hormones or just your. If is was yours alone then you might want to take out Oxytocin , which is a hormone that:stimulstes contractions of a woman's uterus and helps her secrete milk from her breasts. Thanks and keep writing, you have a good talent for it. S A Gibbins
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Review of Welcome  
Review by BEAR
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for this post. It is not a bad piece and I hope to see more of your work, welcome to WDC S A Gibbins
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Review by BEAR
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello again Judith or Judy. * I enjoyed this account of your thanksgiving with your family. I could feel the pandemomium. For the ife of me I felt that John wanting a large family, unless I have that wrong, would not have budged an inch. Especially with the attractiveness of the girl he was courting. Seems a shame that you just didn't tell him that you weren't interested but thats here nor there. You have done a fine job accounting the events and details of the day. Writing about such memories are heartwarming and I was sittting across the table from Uncle Ray I believe. Thank you for this nice post. I enjoy your writing style. S A Gibbins
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Review by BEAR
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you J A for this humorous story. I would like to hear the sequel about the secretary but perhaps I'll let my imagination run wild as I imagine the walls propping her up. By the way, how many did she have? I can catch a bit of New England in your style. Actaully I can almost see old E B White siting around a pot belly stove in the town hardware store, passing the time about this and that. I will have to read some more of you later. Have a great day. By the way, I don't think there is any point in checking your spelling , grammar or the like. The bird got burnt, the story told and well those gift certificates probably bought a lot of Swanson's huh? S A Gibbins
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