My what a good start! Hi my name's Sue and I've been reading your poem. I'm from Lancashire in England and that's the RED ROSE county - lol. What a fun write it had me chuckling all the way through.
I found no faults with the grammar or spelling.
In the 6th verse was 'the war of the rose' poetic license?
In the first line I wondered about 'Once, on a day' rather than using the word 'day' twice. But that is only a thought.
Overall it was a super poem and I enjoyed reading it.
I look forward to reading more. Write on!
Hi Colleen - my name is Sue and I've just finished reading your story. It held an interest for me as i'm about to make my first flight ever in ten days time! I enjoyed reading it and it certainly gave an insight into human nature.
I found no noticable errors in the spelling or grammar.
You have made a good start, I hope you get as much pleasure from WDC as I do. I look forward to reading more from you. Write on.
Sue :)
Hi Leanna, my name's Sue and I'm reviewing your poem.
I thought it was a fun read and that it flowed quite well. The rhyming was good.
I only noted 2 mistakes - possibly typo's.
On line 23 - 'you're' should be 'your'.
On line 24 'YOu' should be 'You'.
Minor things but they can spoil the overall appearance.
A sad but touching poem. You paint a picture with words that is as beautiful as anything any artist could paint.
The flow and the rhyme were perfect. A joy to read.
Hi - Where to begin? If I had to take one piece of this as my favourite then it would be
'Take a hint from the sun and juggle your friends like mismatched planets. Who cares if one explodes and disappears on occasion, just so long as you are safe behind your fiery walls of deception, and you’re synthetic grins.'
I thought your work was a wonderful piece of prose and I enjoyed reading it.
I found no grammar or spelling errors.
What an enjoyable read. As the wife of an Irishman from the 'West'and having often visited the area you describe I feel that you have captured the feel of the area very well.
I found no fault with grammar or spelling except for one. The area you mentioned is called 'The Burren' a place of outstanding natural beauty.
Good work!
Sue :) A BLACK CASE DOMINATION PORT RAID
Hi Emily - I have read your story. I was impressed with the content and could easily visualise a group of children as they listened to it being read to them; eyes wide at the 'scary bits'.
I found no spelling errors or gramatical ones.
It was an interesting and imaginative write. Well done.
Hi - I am reviewing your poem as part of Black Box Domination and I must say that the imagery is superb. I had a vivid picture in my mind of heat, grubby hands and popsicles.
Hi- your story brought back memories of childhood fishing trips with my father. Not as exciting as deep sea fishing but still a thrill to reel one in! I enjoyed your story, it held my attention to the end.
If there were any mistakes in grammer etc. I never spotted them.
An entertaining read - I look forward to more.
Sue :) A BLACK CASE DOMINATION PORT RAID
What a lovely piece of whimsey. Poetry doesn't always have to be 'deep' or 'meaningful' etc. It can also be fun and your poem made me laugh when I read it.
No grammatical or spelling errors.
A fun read. Write on!
Sue :)
Hi - I enjoyed reading your poem very much. I love the comparisons that you use, they gave me, as the reader a lovely sense of warmth.
I found nothing wrong with the grammar or the punction.
A lovely poem.
Sue :)
A BLACK CASE DOMINATION PORT RAID
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