|Hello firefly_2! I read "The Rising Dawn" and wanted to offer you this review:
Images, seemingly at random, came at me from your poem. The words were powerful, filled with meaning perhaps too deep for me to fully fathom since their meaning would lie deep within the heart of the author of this poem. This thought brought with it a bit of sadness.
I felt a sense of movement within this poem, things were happening. It turns out that the ‘maker of the dawn’ was a ‘magical painter’, a tiny leprechaun! Such big things from such a small creature made me want to dis-believe. I felt a bit put out by the thought of a leprechaun granting such beautiful gifts for the world to see. Leprechauns are greedy creatures, after all! (This is how I felt)
The use of the ‘leprechaun’ did color the poem with vivid, rainbow colors, naturally.
Effectiveness of Form:
Diatelle, abbcbccaccbcbba, 1-2-3-4-6-8-10-12-10-8-6-4-3-2-1, fifteen lines in all. Pulling out your "c": fawn, swan, dawn leprechaun, strong, dawn. I probably wouldn't have pronounced "leprechaun" to match the other words but your use of assonance, brushing momentum...leprechaun brilliantly pull it off. Great job!
Use of consonance appears heaviest on "s" and then "a". Elegance, dancing, see, his, soft, eyes...to point out a few.
1-2-3-4-6-8-10-12-10-10-6-4-3-2-1, That stanza should be 8 syllables.
Punctuation and Grammar:
Sun rise is one word for me, though I understand your usage. I thought to point it out simply because I stumbled there a bit.
Closing comments: I enjoyed reading your poem. I don't often review poetry so I am glad you stated this was a Diatelle, else I might not have been able to do such an in-depth review. I like the name of the poem, "The Rising Dawn". It suits the poem. My favorite line is "earth wise"; it rings true for me. Thanks for sharing. Keep writing!
Here, you have the makings of a wonderful poem. I will be happy to take a look at it and re-rate accordingly. Have a great day!