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361 Public Reviews Given
383 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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126
Review of My Fire Burns On  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to respond, life has been keeping me busy! Once again, you've done a wonderful job. You definitely have a gift for painting pictures with words and getting the reader to feel an emotional pull.
Created by Shaye Lorraine


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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127
Review by Krista
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy this activity. It's very interesting to read all of the submissions and see how others interpret a simple image.
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128
Review by Krista
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Thank you for requesting a review. I hope this feedback is found useful. Please remember, these are just my personal opinions- I am in no way a professional.

*DropR* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: I'm not going to lie. I actually got a bit teary eyed when I got to the fourth stanza. You evoked overwhelming feelings of true love and sorrow. Oddly enough, I didn't feel any fear from the narrator until the seventh stanza. I guess that's what True Love will do to a person. Honestly, seeing the Dark genre, I was expecting something different instead of this heartbreaking scene you've created. It is dark, but for me personally, the emotional side of it is much bigger.

*DropR* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: I think by using the unrhymed free verse form you've emphasized the significance of the content. Just like the capitalization of the first word in each line seems to show the importance of those individual lines.

*DropR* Artistic Voice and Imagery: I love that the poem ends with the setting sun. Very fitting. You have successfully used organic imagery to convey the internal emotion.

*DropR* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Everything looks good to me.

*DropR* Suggestions: Absolutely none.

*Dropr* Favorite Line: As the end of our story falls from the planes




I'm looking forward to the next piece! Unfortunately, since I'm now emotionally exhausted I'm saving it for tomorrow. *Smile*
Queen Kissy




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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129
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (3.5)
I stopped by your Open House and enjoyed reading this short story. I hope you find this feedback useful. First, let me say that I am not a professional. This review is just a personal opinion that I am sharing with you. If anything in this review is deemed unhelpful, please ignore.

*DropR* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: I actually chose this item because of the title and description. The twentieth anniversary of my own father's death was last week, so I'm still dealing with my own memories. I applaud you for using the word "death" in the description. I've seen many items about "loss" and it kind of irks me. My dad didn't get lost at Walmart, he died. I wish more people weren't afraid of the word.

*DropR* Content: You did an excellent job with a difficult topic. You've conveyed several emotions to the reader in a natural way. To name a few- sorrow, joy, and hope. The sixth paragraph really got my attention because I could easily identify with those odd happenings that trigger memories.

*DropR* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Your second paragraph must have been a hard one to write. I'm not sure I would have the strength to go into details. There seems to be some punctuation and grammar errors sprinkled throughout. I would double check the plural form of the words son's, birthday's, and holiday's. Also, I noticed you used the word just five times in the second paragraph. Since there are only eight sentences, it seems excessive. My feeling is that this paragraph came pouring out of you so rapidly that perhaps you had a hard time with editing. (That would be the case for me.)

*DropR* Suggestions: Thank you for sharing such a personal experience with us. I think once you do some proofreading and revise it, you'll have a real gem to show your sons when they are older. Please let me know if you make any changes, I would love to read through it again!

Keep the words flowing!
Queen Kissy




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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130
Review of The Nine Planets  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem on Noticing Newbies. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful. First, let me say that I am not a professional. This review is just a personal opinion that I am sharing with you. If anything in this review is deemed unhelpful, please ignore.

*DropR* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Very creative!

*DropR* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: Japanese forms are my favorite! All of your haiku are formatted perfectly. They all follow the 5/7/5 pattern.

*DropR* Artistic Voice and Imagery: You've used your syllables wisely to convey humor. I was chuckling through each haiku.

*DropR* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No mistakes noticed by me.

*DropR* Suggestions: Take time to set up your bio block so we can learn more about you. Also, check out all the different forums and groups WdC has to offer. There's something for everyone!


Thank you for sharing this piece with us, I look forward to seeing more! Write on!
Queen Kissy




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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131
Review of Hands  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.0)
First, let me say that I am not a professional. This review is just a personal opinion that I am sharing with you. If anything in this review is deemed unhelpful, please ignore.

*DropR* Form: Free Verse- there's no rhythm pattern or rhyme scheme.

*DropR* Content: The subject is interesting and your chosen words use literal imagery to help the reader imagine the assortment of hands. The punctuation helps keep it flowing steadily most of the time. The presentation is fairly well done. I like that the individual lines create emphasis on them individually instead of stanzas.

*DropR* Conclusion: A thought provoking poem about an ordinary subject, that makes the reader view it differently. Good job!

Queen Kissy



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of College  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (3.5)
First, let me say that I am not a professional. This review is just a personal opinion that I am sharing with you. If anything in this review is deemed unhelpful, please ignore.

*DropR*Hi Spooky! I came across your short story and thought I'd tell you that I enjoyed it. I see that it was written some time ago, so I'm guessing you're done with it.
*DropR*I don't see any spelling or grammar errors, but there are some punctuation and capitalization issues that need be addressed.
*DropR*This is quite an amusing story that held my interest!
*Thought*I'm going to draw my own conclusion and guess they call it a tie because they both enjoy it?*Cool*
QueenKissy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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133
Review of Along The Shore  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.0)
First, let me say that I am not a professional. This review is just a personal opinion that I am sharing with you. If anything in this review is deemed unhelpful, please ignore.

*DropR*Hi, Garnet! Welcome to WDC! I came across your poem in the Newbie section. Make sure to check out all the forums and activities we have to offer!
*DropR*I like your free verse poem. You have a great use of imagery. This piece conveys a sense of longing, but not in a sad way, just hopeful. Which is much better in my book. You said a lot in a few lines.
*DropR*Keep up the good job!

QueenKissy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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134
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (3.0)
I came across this item browsing through quizzes. (I'm one of those strange people that like random quizzes.)
This one is definitely different. I bet you get some interesting answers. It might work out better if you used a survey form instead of quiz.
I'm not sure what kind of results you're looking for, but good luck!
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Review of Author bio  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (5.0)
I happen to think that this a good, lighthearted bio.
The tone is playful and clever, without being silly or pretentious. Plus, you've shared enough information without revealing too many personal details.
I must admit, sometimes an author's bio can really put me off. I don't think I can explain it, but it's kind of disappointing when in happens.
Great job and good luck!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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136
Review of Pen  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a very interesting poem. I had to read it a couple of times, but I like it.
By stating that the person did not own it, but took it anyway, it seems that the first person with the pen is not very nice and only uses it for negative things. Meanwhile, the second person seems to be more positive, resulting in her not losing it. So, I think this poem is about karma. Forgive me if I'm mistaken and missed the point completely. It's not too bad for your first poem. Keep writing and you will find your way.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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137
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.0)
What a cute poem you've written! It has a nice playful tone.
For some reason this line bothers me:
"Makes me wonder why do monkeys throw their poo?"
I'm not sure if a comma should be placed after the word "wonder" or the word "do" should be omitted. There's just something about the sentence that trips me up while reading. It's probably just me, but I thought I would mention it.
I really like the secret of the zoo! Great job of using the prompt!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Mother Nature  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, KatVon! I came across your item while browsing poetry.

"Have you heard of the girl..." You made good use of the description box. It definitely helped get my attention, pulling me in to read more.

I like the playful, whimsical tone. It has a good rhythm and flows nicely from one line to the next. I see no spelling, grammar, or structure issues.
Great job! I look forward to checking out your portfolio!




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Confused  
Review by Krista
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Good evening, Camila!
I came across this item while searching through the poetry genre.
I'm guessing this is a nonfiction piece you wrote during a difficult time. I often resort to writing when I'm feeling overwhelmed. It seems to help me sort through the insanity of my own thoughts and manage better. I sincerely hope you can find peace.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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140
Review of Forgotten Math  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there, MOMGEEK545!
I too homeschool, which is how I found this item.
I see no grammar or structure errors.
I like that it's short and right to the point.
I cannot begin to imagine how you felt when told they forgot math. And again? The whole year? That's pretty crazy. What the heck did they do all year?!
I'm glad you decided to take the matter into your own hands.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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141
Review of Obituary  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.5)
I've been trying to come up with an obituary for Common Sense and keep drawing a blank. So I peeked at yours and it's spot on! I love it!
At this point, I'd highlight my favorite parts of the item...but I love the whole darn thing. The last sentence is just the perfect way to end it too. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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142
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm going with haunted on this one!
My daughter used to talk about "The Man" when she was younger. It was quite creepy to have my four year old ask if "The Man" could go to the grocery store with us.
It also took a bit of explaining to my husband that I didn't know "The Man"!
Anyway, nice piece of writing!
QueenKissy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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143
Review of Billy  
Review by Krista
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
"Drunk cowboys were no problem, unless they accidentally shot a hole in you while celebrating a bit too much."

I love this line! Plus, being a born and raised Texan, I'm sure I will be repeating it sometime soon. (Probably at the next cookout!) I've always had trouble reading westerns if they are too long, but for me, this was just right length.

Keep up the good work!
QueenKissy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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144
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.0)
I came across this poem while searching for something totally different, but lucky for me!
You definitely have a knack for painting a vivid picture. (No pun intended!)
You have constructed a fine piece of art about a fine piece of art! (Sorry, couldn't help myself!)
Keep up the good work!
QueenKissy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
145
145
Review of Oblivion  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.5)
I must admit that had I to look up the word "obviation" both before and after reading this poem. (Bonus: I learned something new today!)
This piece is both simple and complex, at the same time. In only twelve lines, you've captured quite a lovely moment of understanding.
Well done!
QueenKissy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
146
146
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (5.0)
First, let me say that I am not a professional. This review is just a personal opinion that I am sharing with you. If anything in this review is deemed unhelpful, please discard.

FIRST IMPRESSION: A good combination of fun and educational!
LIKES: This is more than just entertainment, it can also be used as an educational tool. I prefer these types of puzzles over the ones that contain more average topics.
GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION: No mistakes spotted. *Smile*
STYLE/VOICE: *Smile*
SUGGESTIONS: I have no suggestions.
FINAL THOUGHTS: As a homeschooling mom, I'm always looking for these types of engaging activities for my teenagers. I'm learning right along with them, so I can't wait to complete this puzzle while I work on a unit study of Japan! Thank you for taking the time to create this interesting puzzle!
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147
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (5.0)
First, let me say that I am not a professional. This review is just a personal opinion that I am sharing with you. If anything in this review is deemed unhelpful, please discard.

FIRST IMPRESSION: Whata wonderful idea! *Wink*
LIKES: Everything! I'm not a newbie, but due to multiple prolonged absences, I have much to learn. This seems to be pretty comprehensive and has a nice layout. *Smile*
GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION: No mistakes spotted. *Smile*
STYLE/VOICE: Informative, without being condescending. *Smile*
SUGGESTIONS: None! *Smile*
FINAL THOUGHTS: I'm sure this going to be useful for a lot of people, myself included. I will definitely be coming back to it in the future. Thank you for your hard work!
*Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of One Resolution  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Kate's Summer Muse Writes,
I came across your poem in the Japanese Poetry Forum and thought I'd let you know I enjoyed it. I do wonder, however, if it should be "sows" instead of "sow"? It may just be the way it sounds in my head lol so please disregard if I am incorrect.
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149
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi there, MarvelGirl! I came across your short story while browsing the children's genre and thought I'd let you know that I enjoyed it. I've recently become interested in this genre, but have not written a story of any type, only poetry. Congratulations on your first children's story! Please know that my reviews are all non-professional in nature and are only meant to encourage. If there is anything deemed non-helpful in my review, please discard immediately. That said, let us begin...

TITLE
I would suggest a slight title change. Charlie has already lost his parents when the story begins, so it's more about his search than his loss.

FIRST PARAGRAPH

Once there lived a little lion who wished he had a family. He lived all on his own with no one to look after him and he wanted someone to look after him! One day he went out to look for his mum and dad who had left him on a rock in Africa ten years before. The little lion was called Charlie and his mum was called Violet and his dad was called Peter.
The order seems to be a little off kilter. Also, there are a few run on sentences and other grammar issues that can be easily corrected. My suggestion:
Once there lived a little lion named Charlie who wished he had a family. He lived in Africa, near a rock where his parents had left him years ago. Charlie was lonely and wanted his parents to look after him, so he decided to search for them. I don't think it's necessary to list the names of the parents because they are never actually used.

SECOND PARAGRAPH
He started his look at the plains of Africa. he didn't find them there so he looked at the watering hole and he found a pride of lions with a male and lots of female lions, he asked around but no one had left a baby lion cub on a rock ten years ago. so he left the watering hole and left to go on a long trek to the city as that might be where they are. He packed up some food and began his walk, he walked for two hours and he saw a sign for the city pond so he went there. He saw lots of humans and he walked over to the pond, the humans all just screamed and ran away. Charlie looked around and was confused why everyone was running when he just wanted to find his mum and dad. Again, mainly grammar and punctuation issues, with a little flow problem. Suggestion:
Charlie started his search at The Plains. He didn't find them there, so he made his way to the Watering Hole. There he found a pride of lions. Charlie asked around, but no one had left a lion cub on a rock ten years ago. Charlie decided to try the city. He packed up some food and began his long trek. After two hours, he saw a sign for the city pond and followed it. He saw lots of humans around the pond. When he walked over to talk to them, they all ran away screaming! Charlie was confused by the running humans. He just wanted to find his mum and dad.

THIRD PARAGRAPH
After the humans had run away from him the people from the zoo came and took him away, he was chucked into the back of a truck and taken somewhere strange. When he was let out he saw a female lion sitting on a rock looking at him, Charlie sat in the truck still shivering with fear. Then the male lion came and sniffed in the truck, he roared and said;
"Come out little guy!" He said
"But I am scared! I have been looking every where for my mum and dad and now I am stuck here and will never find them!" Charlie said angrily
"Where did they go?" He asked
"They left me on a rock in Africa ten years ago!" Charlie answered
The male lion stood for a minute and said he and his wife left a lion cub and he was caught too when he was looking for his son.
The female lion then stood up and ran over and hugged Charlie and finally Charlie had found his mother and farther!
The End!
More rearranging is needed, along with grammar and punctuation corrections. Suggestion:
More humans came to the city pond, but they were from the zoo. They chucked him in the back of a truck and took him away. When they finally stopped and let him out, he saw a male and female lion sitting on rock. They looked at Charlie, who was shivering from fear in the back of the truck. The male sniffed around the truck and let out a roar.
"Come out, little guy!," the male lion said.
"I'm scared," replied Charlie. "I've been looking everywhere for my mum and dad. Now I'm stuck here, and I don't think I'll ever find them!"
"Where did your parents go?," the male lion asked.
"They left me on a rock ten years ago," Charlie answered angrily.
The male lion stood and told Charlie that he and his wife had lost a cub. They were caught while looking for their son. The female lion ran over and hugged Charlie. He had finally found them!


Remember, my suggestions are just examples of how I would edit the story. You may want to do it differently and that's okay- it's your story. I think after you do your editing and tweak it a little, it will be just fine. Good luck and keep writing!
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150
Review of At two  
Review by Krista
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well hello again, Kåre Enga! I am really enjoying your work! This is one is just too cute! I especially love the umbilical cord verse, because you're right- it's never truly cut, just stretched. By the way, this poem definitely made me smile! Keep up the good work!
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