ProsperousSnow prays 4 Ukraine writes a poem that sends a message to me: that this is a human being, a person who asks questions, believes that there is an "Unknowable Essence", hopes for a future, and knows the inner thoughts that co-mingle with lots of other, human things in the world...
In a world like. ours at this time, we question things that surround us; we either believe or disbelieve what we are told, and most of the time, it is out own understanding of things that bring us the understanding of what we are.
Carry on with your writing, ProsperousSnow prays 4 Ukraine, and continue to believe in what you think is believable...
This is a dark story of love between two people. Sometimes, we ask ourselves why we love and then fall out of love; and the answer is: it happens. Why does love drive two people away from one another? It becomes a question and the answer is always something we, as humans, are incapable to answer truthfully...
The author of this tale has brought to mind that life is short; and that love, true love, that is, may not even be the answer to get married...
The story of "Cenia" is a sad tale about leaving; leaving her two daughters, her husband, her family, in fact. And her decision to leave was difficult. However, her decision was final; and away she went...
This is a sad tale of a mother; for what mother would just up and go, leave her family? Although we would never know if she regrets this decision to leave, it is a fact that she left which she thinks will be a new life for her...
Cheers to the author for this brave tale about a mother; and may his/her writing continue to share with us, readers, the sadness of a decision...
It is fun to poke jokes about coronavirus. This disease has been holding us in constant danger for over a year now, and still it is a menace. Writing about it and having fun writing about it is really a good thing. It makes sense because even as we now see the end of the last of this virus; yet we are reminded that it has not actually left us FREE...
Bully for the author to write about this virus in fun because we need that kind of writing to boost our energy, to continue to fight a disease as deadly as coronavirus.
To the author, how about 10,000 GPs for your limerick?????
Wow and Wow again. The romantic feeling of this tale is in every sentence, every movement of the eyes, every thought... Reading this story is like watching a movie, the feelings are raw, the thoughts of touch and togetherness are exceptional, to the point of almost there...
To the writer, you are good at writing a romantic tale. How about writing something else, like, a romance in the middle of a war?
Anyhow, keep at it because you seem to be good at it...Just please let me know when Bella and William have their first born...
In many ways, this poetry delivers something about the many wonderful things of Christmas; the Babe in the manger; the shepherds who heard the voices of the angels; and there are Mary and Joseph, two individuals who have never met before; how were they brought in to this story of Jesus' birth?
I have a feeling there is some doubt in the minds of people about Mary's and Joseph's son, Jesus. In the world where we are at the present time, doubts linger; we are either in a disbelief situation or we are completely taken in by a story of a child, born to be named Jesus...
I think the author has a great idea writing about this Babe in a manger, and how Christmas became associated with Jesus...
Good writing... continue writing what you think is believable writing...
Wow, G.B. Williams, you sure have a way saying thank you... flowers... I would just love a bouquet, if you don't mind...
Anyhow, what a way to say thank you; in words and through flowers... love your idea...keep up the good work of writing... more...
Through your THESE FLOWERS ARE FOR YOU, I realize that I have not been as thankful to those who have done something good for me. It is a good awakening for me. Do keep up your good writing...
I can almost picture and smell the rain as I read this poem. Here's wishing the writer would do more something like this as she/he continues to write...
As I read this poetry, I come to the conclusion that there is an instance when a writer tells of a certain "madness" appears within the personality of a human being. This poem begins with a human who uses a weapon to injure itself. Or is it a mad human? Then, the human sorts of wakes up and realizes that she/he has done. However, but it is too late.
The author of this poem has touched something within a reader: the fact that though as humans we know what we want and want to do, we somehow go through a certain "madness" of the mind; and presto, do something that is much, much too late to reverse what has already been done.
Good for the author to express this in poetry. May she/he continue to prosper with her/his writing...
When I started a review of "True Innocence", I thought it was funny. However, I thought the writer wrote it to let readers know that there is a place on earth where people believe in gods... who can do something to relieve people of their weaknesses. If a writer can make a reader change her/his feelings while reading a story, then I believe this writer has done something to talk about: that such a writing as this may give a reader something to think about...
Carry on, sinbad, with the way you write. Keep it up...
Why do we give our trust to somebody, who we think we love?
This is a question that people who love are unable to answer, truthfully. We love, so we trust; it is as plain talking as you can hear; it is also because we are as human as we are...
The fact that a baby becomes the only proof that we have loved and lost; or that, we have loved with our body and soul...
This is a story of love and losing; or in plain language, a tale of human error...Are we ever to learn to be a bit more careful with our love; or with our hearts????
Give this write a good pat on the shoulder; she/he deserves it.
Emiliya Wolfe tells a good story. However, "telling" a story is not enough for the story to be published.
This is to remind the author what makes a story compelling: "showing" how a story evolves. As a reader, I would have loved to see the "deep sadness" in the old man's eyes; to feel the "quiver of nerves that shook his body"; to understand the reason for "tears that welled in his eyes" as he sits on the bench; to taste the "bitter anger" the old man kept to himself as he "patiently" listened to the abuse from a passer-by, and to realize that a conflict needs to be set up to be resolved.
To the author, I would suggest she/he "shows" a story is about _______________ (the main character), who wants _________ (what goal?) more than anything but can't get it because _____________ (why?- the story problem, and finally the resolution to the problem.
The author should determine what is the storyline because in so doing the other items of "who" "what" "why" and "how" will follow the "showing" of a good story. The author needs to set up a conflict (the problem) such as: "man against nature", "man against man", and "man against himself".
Telling a story is easy but "showing" a story for the reader to feel and taste and see and understand the natural flow of the story is needed for the story to be a success. I would suggest the author should rewrite the story for the reader to feel the emotions in a story; to taste the passion in a story; to understand the reasoning behind the story; to see the activity that results in the resolution of the problem.
Finally, the author writes well, and I would add another suggestion: to watch out for any spelling errors. Otherwise, the author is on the right road to becoming a good author.
The author of "The Lady in the Lake" has a story to tell. And she did tell it, the way she intended the story to be read and understood. I would like to remind the author to watch the spelling of words. One of the mistakes writers forget to watch is the way words are spelled. It is important because an editor would definitely reject this story because the author forgot to reread the story before sending it out.
I would like to remind the author the six elements of a story: A Hero (1), who wants (2) something and (3) takes action, but meets (4) conflict, which leads to a (5) climax, and finally a (6) resolution.
The author has a hero (the grandfather), who wants to be with his lost love, and takes action by dying as evidenced by the "empty chair", and that's about it. There is no conflict and no resolution of such a conflict. I would suggest to the author to rewrite the story and give the granddaughter a conflict and a resolution to that conflict.
I would also suggest to the writer to remember the first rule of story telling, and that is: "show, don't tell". Showing means making the characters act out, be alive and active. The story is good if the author would rewrite it so that all the characters are alive, acting out what they are suppose to be as characters of the story. It would turn the story into a good read.
What makes a story is to follow the golden rule of "show, don"t tell", and to include the six elements of a story, which actually is the answer to what "show, don't tell" mean. I would suggest the author should rewrite the story to conform to the six elements of a story, thereby conforming to the rule, "show, don't tell".
I believe ToffeeandTea are not writing a story with "Smile" but a personal essay. To write a story it must contain six elements, which are:
1. a HERO, who
2. WANTS something and takes
3 ACTION, but meets
4. CONFLICT which leads to a
5. CLIMAX and finally a
6. RESOLUTION
The essay expresses emotions that are associated with smiling. The writers are actually giving us a definition of "smile", and what transpires when someone does smile. There is no story here, only what happens when someone smiles. The author(s) does/do write well by telling us the consequences of a smile. However, it would be better for the writer(s) to make this into a poem, which is more approriate the way she/he/they wrote it.
As a reader, I would encourage ToffeeandTea to continue the way she/he/they write(s) in a different genre - a poem or an essay is probably more appropriate. She/he/they seem(s) to be good at it.
Parting from a loved one is sad, and the writer expressed the emotion quite clearly. The death of a loved is a time to grieve and with grief we lose reason. We think of harming ourselves, thinking that doing so would bring us back the person we lost.
The grieving husband in this flash fiction has a dream: an angel that warns him that shooting himself to death is not the answer. It has been said that dreams come to us because it is God's way of letting us know that sorrow is only temporary; to mourn is expected of us, especially if it is mourn the passing of a loved one.
The writer knows and feels the emotions of sadness, and through his writing he expresses the depth of mourning that one spouse feels at the death of the other. The use of emotions in fiction is good because the reader almost always respond positively to the story. The writer's use of a glass angel to express the husband's grief is good.
Well done, nvellis. You are perceptive. Keep up with your writing!
In reviewing this work, I realize that EvolCilegna needs lots of help in his grammar. His/her efforts in telling a story is commendable, but in order to succeed getting published a writer needs to learn to write properly in the English language, to know the rules of grammar, puntuation, tenses, etc. It is also advisable for a writer to realize that composing a story follows certain rules. I would therefore suggest to EvolCilegna to read books about writing in the English language/grammar, as well as books on how to write.
EvolCilegna took a big step in writing his story, and he/she is to be commended on his attempt at writing. It is also advisable that he/she take a study course in writing in the English language, which is most important in trying to convey his story for readers to enjoy and understand.
This review is not a criticism of his/her efforts in writing but a friendly advise to EvolCilegna as an aid in his/her efforts to write. Go do it and succeed well!!
What a unique way to look at AGING! I salute LaPia for such a great article. I can understand each remark, each question that stimulates a reply, each blemish discovered that arouses a feeling of "how and when" it all happened.
The beauty of aging is incomprehensible, baffling to one who has reached a "certain" age. What happened? Where did it all start? The unwanted lines. The mousy brownness of the skin tone. The angry lines on the neck. The aging itself. None but the aged knows the "panic" that sets in as she/he faces the mirror.
I salute LaPia for this article. There is humor, there is pathos, there is fun. When one sees the face in the mirror, one becomes hysterically "wild". One thinks of ways to alter what one sees. However, one realizes that all is just a passing annoyance; and that there are blushes, lipsticks, powder, and hats that can hide the aging!
Bravo, LaPia, let's have many more of your wiring!
You story is good. Is it fiction or is this your story when you were a boy? Your writing is simple and easy to understand. You can re-do it as a picture book, which would be some kind of a lesson a child would learn and understand. A story like the one you wrote, The Story of Mr. Huston, is believable. In every boy's life (or a girl's life for that matter), there is either a Mr. Hurston, a Miss Judy who touches the life of a growing child.
I have one question, though. What made the Mom cry after she had a talk with Mr. Hurston? Could it be he told the Mom about his cancer? I am guessing he did because she cried and later let you go back and visit with him every day. I am sure your purpose in telling the story is to emphasize a friendship that arises when a child is anxious of his new school and his new neighborhood. Because the friendship that grew between you and Mr. Hurston is valid and believable.
Your writing is good. Keep it up and I'm sure you'll get far.
Good wishes,
liciary
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