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370 Public Reviews Given
371 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Passionate, and hungry reader. I try to feel the vibes of the writer, and review accordingly. A. We are all in this together. B. Encouragement, and Empathy followed here. C. I am not a perfect writer or grammarian D. Language works when it works. Communication on some level occurs.
I'm good at...
Cooking, ironing, gardening, digging for fossils, budgeting, photography, writing, reviewing drawing, painting, landscaping, erosion control, research. Spotting patterns, rhythms and minute differences within patterns. Data entry. Taxes. Environmental. Public Service, Problem Solving, Building Databases, Data Entry, finding Free Resources (legally), Brand Building, Social Media The price of my reviews is due to a high demand for reviews. I cannot help but give an in-depth review. Peace.
Favorite Genres
Mystery, Juvenile, Childrens, Y/A, Folklore, Story Telling, Native Spiritual, Genealogy, Golden Oldies Sci-Fi,
Least Favorite Genres
Outdated Non-Fiction
Favorite Item Types
Too many to name. I like original content that is "stranger than fiction" from the author's character's experiences. I love when stories pour from the imagination of the writer - and I feel it. Or learn something good.
Least Favorite Item Types
Poetry, because I am really a dive-bar, bathroom poet, and it is too structured.
I will not review...
I do not mean this ugly, please take this from a place of kindness and love - I read a lot. I have been reading a long time. I speed read. If asked to review an item that seems familiar to things read, I will check for plagiarism, and do. I will not review hard porn, poems (unless more prose than poem), nor plagiarized items. I will not call you out. If I turn your review down, it is not about you. It is me and life. Peace.
Public Reviews
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*



*Questionb* What made me stop and read
Me Uncle Packy's Wicker Sofa Open in new Window. (E)
A potential submission for the anthology "Sofas I've Slept On."
#1836057 by Dave Author IconMail Icon
*Questionb*
The title itself is very alluring. I like reading stories that have the fashion to become one with the surroundings. Samuel Clemons and William Faulkner are two writers who used local spellings, and pronunciations creating great works of literature.

*Boat2* What compelled me to get into the *Boat2* of "Me Uncle Packy's Wicker Sofa" Open in new Window. and ride it to the end? The writer was successful in getting me into the vessel by opening with a scene where the reader can feel, smell and sense the porch. The cottage, the furniture - everything.

Description: Dave Author Icon uses words craftily here. "...its wicker construction creaking every time you moved..." The picture that forms is specific. This wicker furniture is not hastily glued or patched together. It may be creaky, but it is lasting.

Description: The author easily flips a wrist, and suddenly the main protagonist has been aged, told of his past journeys, allowed that he had been a champion boxer in the Navy.

Character: I love the fingernail sketch we get of Uncle Packy and Auntie Selena. It is not much, but the narrator is able to present a feeling of peace and contentment he felt while a guest at his Uncle and Aunts house during those summers.

Overall: I think this story is very well written. One of my favorite lines: "...Soggy afternoons found me napping in that wicker sofa, with its gnarly lumps softened by a couple of floweredy cushions..." That is so much description in such few words.

You are an amazing writer.

*Writing* Write on.

Happy WDC Anniversary

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27
27
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Clock* REVIEW FOR 36-HR MISSION BY Writing.Com Support Author Icon *Bookstack* REVIEW A NEWBIE *Reading* *Quill*

*Hook* What was the *Hook* that made me read and review
 One Stop, That's All Open in new Window. (13+)
This short story is about a girl who was given a mission to make one guy understand.
#1965004 by Sammy E. Author IconMail Icon


*Check4* The title was the first thing that made me stop perusing items to review

*Check4* The second line: "...I shouldn't have said anything! It was like this black feeling came over me..." Is the second thing that perked up my interest.

*Check4* The format is set in a way that is easy on the reader. The paragraphs break it up very well. (Understand this is not something we learned in English 101 - but then we did not know we would be reading on screens.)

*Blockv* Description: The writer does very well in bringing the reader into the midst of the most volatile few minutes of the lives of the two protagonists. There is pure white rage that sacrifices an angel for a lesson.


*Blockv* Character: In a short story we miss out on the back-story, so it is difficult to decide sometimes what to give the reader so they can just pop in the story as if from outer space, and catch on to what is happening plot, characters, who, what and where.

*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* Your writing is good, and even though you are a Newbie on Writing Dot Com (WDC), you are no stranger to writing. I am a greedy reader, and when I see glimpses of what "could" happen if more of the story were there, I want more. Unfair.


*Blockv* Technicality: This review is meant to encourage and give feedback. It could be me (always) but I am a bit confused about "the angel's" job.

*Angel* It seems a dire punishment for the angel-girl, someone who had already have a broken heart. This is just opinion of a reader.

Welcome to WDC and as we say around here...

*Writing* Write on. *Writing*

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28
28
Review of Haunted  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Clock* REVIEW FOR 36-HR MISSION BY Writing.Com Support Author Icon *Bookstack* REVIEW A NEWBIE *Reading* *Quill*

*Hook* What was the *Hook* that made me read and review this item? What hooked me were several items.

1). The title
 Haunted Open in new Window. (18+)
A cop reflects upon the violence of the job.
#1965085 by James Boyle Author IconMail Icon

2). Genre(s) Detective, Dark, Thriller/Suspense
3). The opening line. "...Every cop was haunted..."

*Books1* There are little things that can cause a reader to choose whether or not to read an item.

*Bookstack* The writer was able to do three things to get me to stop, read the title, and stick my toe in the water of the story.

*Books2* No matter how wonderful a story is, if it doesn't get read - no one but you will ever know how good the story is.


*Blockv* Character: Derek is not described in physical terms. For this tale it is more important that we get a view of the inside of Derek's head/mind. This is essential for what is coming up in the life of Derek.

*Man* Character: Melvin is the only other character in this story, but Derek brings him out of the nightmare of the shadows, and reveals the entire identity of Melvin O'Connell. Even as a sub-character Melvin is necessary.

*Check5* Derek could have left Melvin nameless, but in a way makes memorial for him by remembering his whole name.

*Check5* Derek does not appear to be in company with those cops who were sociopaths. Derek is making restitution every day of his life for killing a man in self-defense. It has never been easy for Derek and never will be no matter how "justified" the shoot was.

*Blockv* Description: As a reader I am engrossed with this short story. When doing reviews, I will often re-read the piece I am reviewing. In reading "Haunted" several times, it seems to pull up a new layer each time.

*Blockv* Technicality: Welcome to WDC - There will probably be more grammatical errors in this review than in your short story. I found no errors or mis-use of words.

*Writing* Write on. *Writing*

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29
29
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is in honor of
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1964187 by Not Available.
I found and am reviewing a Newbie for my "Daily Good Deeds".

*Hook* What was the initial *Hook*? The title is interesting. "The Only One Left is Peace". "The only one left is peace" Open in new Window.

*Reading* What made me want to read the short story in its entirety? It is short; 100 words and the genre listed Death and Emotional. I was interested to see what the writer Storiable Author Icon would do in 100 words.

*People* Characters: Grandmother, and grandchild. This is a monumental snap-shot of a family member sitting in for the last moments of her grandmother's life.

*Document* Descriptions: The author of this very short story stayed focused on her beloved grandmother, and is most impacted by the peace and smiling face of her grandma as she passes over. The grandchild's acceptance of death makes me wonder her age.

*Globe* Overall:This is a unique story, and you have shown that you have talent as a story-teller.

*Tack* Errors: "...There was nothing more I could do, expect except..."
*Tack* Errors: "... I had found the strength to smile her back..." This may be correct, or the only solution you could find to keep it at 100 words.
*Tack* Errors: There are probably more errors in my review than in your short story. These are just things to look at. This is your work.

*Writing* Write on! *Writing*

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30
Review of Fade Away  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Coingold* *Coinsilver* *Coincopper*HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY from"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Coincopper* *Coinsilver* *Coingold*


What *Hook*ed me in to read
 Fade Away Open in new Window. (ASR)
A story of loss.
#1839365 by Lightbringer Author IconMail Icon


*Hook* The title "Fade Away," was a draw, and the genres listed that go with this story; Thriller/Suspense, Tragedy and Death.
*Hook* The title is short and sweet.
*Hook* The genres change it from sweet to something else entirely.
*Hook* It is important to let hurried readers know what they can expect from a story.


What compelled me to get into the *cargray* of the story and ride it to the end?

*Car* In "Fade Away," the very first sentence successfully lures this reader into the story.
"... It was cold today, not a shivering cold, or the kind of cold that causes goosebumps, it was just … different..." The word cold is used three times in this one sentence, but because there is such a conveyance of feeling and description, each "type" of cold stands alone. It is the backdrop for everything to follow.

*Ghost* Character: The narrator is the main character, who is given a solo dialog. The fading does not stop discomforts, or keep him/her from continuing on their daily schedule, and habits for a time.

*Man* At first I thought the main character was an elderly person who was being ignored by others around them. It is disturbing to realize the time may have passed when others stop noticing him/her, or no longer care if anyone can see him/her. He/She becomes a non-entity.

*Writing* Description: The descriptions of the "fading away" of this person are well done. I felt some stress and distress along with the protagonist. The genres are correct as this is a Suspenseful Thriller of Death taking a soul - step by step.

*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*Overall: This story is well written and entertaining. "Fade Away," is a different way of looking at Death, and how death may come. We really don't know. This is a good story, and I continue to consider what transpired in "Fade Away."

*Tack* Technical: There is only one instance where I struggled with what was happening to the Fader; "... Bruised and annoyed, I walked down the tunnel..." This is your creation, and you have license to do what you want. To me the ending is a big twist that I will not spoil, it is just the bruising at this stage to me is questionable.

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31
31
Review of Wolfs pain  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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"Wolfs pain" Open in new Window. is a well written dark fantasy story about werewolves.

*Dropr* What *Hook*ed me into this story? The hook was a little bit of a trick, because I was looking at the graphic thinking "wolf hunter." The genre listed this as fantasy / dark / horror / scary, and I enjoy this genre of work.

*Dropr* What kept me reading? From the first line "...The trail of blood John followed certainly belonged to his wife..." I was intrigued and had to find out what happens. The excellent story telling by Jimminycritic Author Icon kept me perched on the edge of my seat. Then, "... In the kitchen, there was the body of a naked wolf-man whom John felt certain ‘was’ the werewolf who abducted his wife. His head was ripped clean off and was frying in the microwave. Oh, ya. She had turned all right..." How could I not stay around for the grand finale?

*Dropr* Character(s): The characterizations are brief but do tell us enough about John and his wife, the main protagonists. There were sub-characters whose identification formed pictures in my head as a reader.

*Dropr* Description: The descriptions are visceral and bring the reader into the midst of the bloody scenes.

*Dropr* Overall: "Wolf's Pain" is a solid story with a wicked twist at the end. I suspected there would be a battle, but never thought it would end the way it did.

The writer is a word weaver who did an excellent job of playing on certain words. The last line, "...He was the new 'Nights Master'..." leaves me thinking about the dynamics of this story. I do not want to write spoilers, so I leave this as an enticement to check out an enjoyable horror.

*Dropr* It is my opinion that "Wolf's Pain" could be turned into a full length novel, or even series.

*Writing*

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32
32
Review of Fear  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Fear Open in new Window. (E)
In my 5 for 5 in 5 entry I explore the primordial fear of being chased by nameless puruers
#1899316 by Karl Author IconMail Icon
is a well written short story that is description interwoven with emotion.

What was the *Hook* that made the reader decide to review this item? The title: "Fear," and the genre listing as Horror/Scary, Dark.

*Dog2* What kept the reader engaged to the end of the story? The descriptions are second to none.

*Baretree2* "...The trees clawed at me, icy cold fingernails fresh from the grave..."

*Treepine* "...shouts of my pursuers echoed among the pines as I ran..."

*Moon* "...ducking low as flashlight beams crossed the midnight air above my head..."

and finally,

*Train* "... the oncoming train continued its oncoming approach, its rumble accompanied by the braying of the hounds..."

The story reads as if the teller is talking fast, in hurried whispers of thought and action. The writer does an amazing job of using words to set the background, allowing the reader to taste the action.

My own heartbeat sped up, I felt a sympathy of anxiety. The writer grabbed my hand, and dragged me into the story. I can still feel the tentacles brushing the back of my mind.

Overall - Excellent.

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33
33
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Coingold* *Coinsilver* *Coincopper*HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY from"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Coincopper* *Coinsilver* *Coingold*


What *Hook*ed me in to read this item? "Preserving Our Past" Open in new Window. is a non-fiction plea for the city planners and leaders of Cincinnati to consider Historic Preservation instead of wholesale demolition. As an environmentalist this reader knows the importance of retro-fitting, and remodeling older buildings.

What compelled me to get into the *cargray* of the story and ride it to the end? The reader found this gem in Incurable Romantic Author Icon's portfolio and had to learn "the rest of the story," regarding the Authors attempt to use the power of wise words to get the city planners to stop and consider what they were doing.

Description: The author did a good job at describing in detail what had previously been lost by the fast-moving city leaders.

*House* "... the Wesley Chapel, [built in the early 1800's] was demolished in the middle of the night so that Proctor and Gamble could build a green space as part of their headquarters expansion?..."

and

*Tools* "...the Albee Theater, built in 1927 at a cost of $4 million, still a working theater – theater palace to be more precise - at the time, listed on the National Register of Historic Places, providing both entertainment and jobs, and helping keep people downtown, was demolished for the Westin Hotel complex?..."


*Train* The writer is hoping to save the "...Union Terminal, which I refer to below, is Cincinnati's historic train station, built in 1933. It, with its Art Deco design, was the center of our rail traffic for WWII, and later, for decades..."

Overall: The reader was moved by this article, and she hopes the writer was able to move the thinking of those decision makers who seemed more concerned about landing huge construction contracts than doing research on the real environmental and economic impacts of destroying already constructed buildings - especially old buildings. The resources used for the building of those will never be recouped, and the energy loss is exponentially terrible.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
34
34
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Coingold* *Coinsilver* *Coincopper*HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY from"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Coincopper* *Coinsilver* *Coingold*


What *Hook*ed me in to read this item? "Medusa the Snake Headed Monster" Open in new Window. is a scary but humorous poem with the genre listed as Horror/Scary, Holiday, Comedy. This attracted me right away. As a reader I enjoy a good parody. The writer chose well, and made this attractive to read.

What compelled me to get into the *cargray* of the story and ride it to the end? "Medusa the Snake Headed Monster," is a short piece that I was able to sing to the tune of "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer."

Character: All of the characters are from Roman and/or Greek Mythology, so they come into the poem with preconceived attributes and histories.

Cadence: It is not perfect, but after going through this poem several times, the reader found that it worked out just fine. If I could have stopped laughing, it would have helped.

Overall: I would not change a thing. Amazingly the author wrote the initial version of this in 11/2000 (Happy 13 years on WDC).

Today many of our movies, juvenile and YA novels are Mythology based. Classic Comics and Graphic Novels are making full circle and is timely.

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35
35
Review of The Last Guardian  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Coingold* *Coinsilver* *Coincopper*HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY from"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Coincopper* *Coinsilver* *Coingold*


What *Hook*ed me in to read this item? The genre listed is horror / scary, environmental. The description also included "An environmental commentary..." These all hooked me in to the story.

What compelled me to get into the *cargray* of the story and ride it to the end? Immediately the reader is aware that some type of tribe or village is under attack by poisonous gases. I become concerned about the welfare of the few remaining members.

*Burstbl* Character: The characterization of Denk and one of her few last remaining relatives are shown as very proud and ancient. They have been fighting the destruction of their tribes for a long time.

*Burstbl* Description: The mistmakers. The cave. Margash, the Seer, clicking, swelling and exploding. Very well done.

*Burstbl* Overall: This is a well written story. I cannot say more without making it a spoiler.

*Writing* Write on and Happy WDC Anniversary

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36
36
Review of Double Fantasy  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Quill*"My Name is Lilly and I am Addicted to WDC - 100 Reviews in 30 Days Addicted" *Quill*

Double Fantasy Open in new Window. (13+)
Horror about an infamous piece of Beatles memorabliia. Now available on Amazon.
#1082441 by Lynn McKenzie Author IconMail Icon

is a stand alone horror story that is an excerpt of the full length story.

What was the initial *Hook*? The genre "Horror / Scary" was the first hook. The description: "Horror about an infamous piece of Beatles memorabilia. Now available on Amazon."

What kept me in the *cargray* for the whole ride? The writing is very good. I am a big fan of Stephen King, and the Beatles. I enjoy this story because it layers old and new, with music and horror. I wanted to see the smarmy buyer get it...

*People* Characters: There are two characters who show up in this scene; the buyer Mr. Anderson, and the agent-seller Lee Parker. The writer created such an abhorrent person in Mr. Anderson that I became emotionally involved. Ms. Parker is described more in physical terms, but she remains a cool and professional persona who although not warm, is more likable than Anderson.

*Document* Descriptions:Historical relevance surrounding John and Yoko Ono, John's assassin and a Mr. Stephen are well written, and researched to make the reader buy in, and ride this story to the end

*Globe* Overall: A winner, and I hope to read the entire book "No Rest For The Wicked."

Write on. *Quill*

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37
37
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Quill*"My Name is Lilly and I am Addicted to WDC - 100 Reviews in 30 Days Addicted" *Quill*

STATIC
Hotel COWlifornia  Open in new Window. (18+)
Song parody of Eagles' Song Written By a Bovine Fan
#358665 by ♥HOOves♥ Author IconMail Icon
is a hoot.

What was the initial *Hook*? Today I had two different conversations about "Hotel California" by the Eagles. Was it Kismet of Fate that brought me here? Or was it the lonesome Moo?

What kept me in the *cargray* for the whole ride? Trying to sing "Hotel Cowlifornia" while keeping the tune to the song. Then I was laughing so hard, that my bird bit me. Which made me laugh harder, and then my bird started laughing.

*People* Characters: The Author is the true character here. Funny, funny, funny.

*Document* Descriptions: Yes. The song is fraught with descriptive lyrics of bulls, cows and the farmer. The image that heads this parody is a wonderful indicator that "Hotel Cowlifornia" will be humorous.

*Globe* Overall:The writing affected my mood, my household and the entire apartment community.

I think the padded wagon is outside now.
"I tried to stop it officer," I cried,
"It is all about a cow...
I agree to stop lowing, and leave it alone
I'll be good and quit with the bull.
Of this song and lyrics my udders are full..."

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38
38
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Coingold* *Coinsilver* *Coincopper*HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY from"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Coincopper* *Coinsilver* *Coingold*


 The Thrill of the Hunt Open in new Window. (ASR)
Blood lust and the Bubonic Plague.
#286349 by Harlow Flick, Right Fielder Author IconMail Icon

is a very descriptive work of fiction that I enjoyed reading.

What *Hook*ed me in? Genre = Action/Adventure, Mystery and Environment

Why did I get into the *cargray* of the story and remain in the vehicle until the end? The opening lines are so descriptive that I am drawn through empathetic discomfort of "...heat was becoming oppressive..."

*Bursto* I *Heart*"...The day was...remain an eye-squinting haze..." I know that kind of weather.

*Bursto* The world of the landfill, and the critters that have a strange "eco-balance" where some rats and other scavengers are needed, but too many - or diseased rabid critters must be eliminated to keep the man-made need of balance.

*Bursto* Great twist. At first the reader was angry, because she thought it was indiscriminate shooting and killing of a wolf or something in that family. Good job.

*Bursto* Excellent writing. As a reader, it is a thrill to get tricked until the end.

Write on. *Penbl*

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
39
39
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that 🦄🏳️‍🌈Sapph Author Icon gifted to you.'

 Next Mozart or Simple Basics? Open in new Window. (E)
An Assignment I wrote for school to check my writing skills
#1093160 by Gaby Author IconMail Icon
is an entertaining piece.

*Piano* I read the title, but not the genre. I am so glad that it is comedy, as well as educational, because I am laughing right now. The final vision of A Cow Eating Grass has alerted my giggle button. I see cows all the time, and you Gaby Author Icon have changed my POV forever. I used to yell "Yackity Yak," due to being a "Far Side" fan for decades.

*Piano* Playing the piano. As you described the mechanics of what you have to learn (and good tips for those who want to play), my eyes kind of glazed over. The preceding line is not a reflection of your writing ability, but the reason why I can only play two songs on a piano. I could not read notes, so I memorized each key played in the song "Yesterday," by the Beatles. That is just crazy... I know.

*Piano* Overall: This piece was fun to read and it is an experience for me, (still grinning like a Cheshire Cat).

*Piano* Apologies: This is not a literary review as much as it is a personal reaction to a short story that tickled me pink, and reached down into my own experiences and found kinship.

*Piano* This is good writing and considering the restraints you were under to write it, I wouldn't change a thing.

*Quill* Write on. *Quill* and *Piano* on.

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40
40
Review of After The Ice  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Coingold* *Coinsilver* *Coincopper*HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY from"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Coincopper* *Coinsilver* *Coingold*


After The Ice Open in new Window. (18+)
In a moment of panic, a man's life flashes before his eyes.
#1403971 by NickiD89 Author IconMail Icon


is a well written, and emotionally stunning creation.

*Snowman* The moment this reader started engulfing the words, lines and paragraphs she was feeling an adrenaline need to get ahead of the protagonist, to see what would come around the next curve. The writing is so good, not only did I get into the vehicle of the story, but I was in an endocrine empathy with both Grady, and the poor sap driving in front of him on the cliff bolstered roads.

*Snowman* Character development is over-the-top good, because Grady has become three-dimensional. The sub-characters of his beloved family are also well done enough to have left this reader with an echoing sadness for all of the Grady's of the world.

*Snowman* What a trip. Thank you for the disclaimer at the end of this story.

*Quill* Thank you for going before me on WDC and showing that a writer can become successful and that this is a community that is a living entity with like-minded writers. *Quill*

Write on.

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Review of Gold Mining  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Gold Mining Open in new Window. (E)
The biggest golden nugget my mother never gave.
#1933132 by Angels in my Ear Author IconMail Icon
is a beautiful essay and tribute to your mother.

*Gold* As a reader, I enjoy the way that you compare and contrast your mother's wisdom given with gold. There are gold coins, nuggets, and "...her claim, staked long ago, was finally paying out by the bucket full..."

*Gold* As a mother who hoped to pass on golden wisdom to my sons and daughters, it is reassuring to know that although at one time you saw her "ways" as irritating, and a pain - now you realize the value of what she gave you, and how she was.

*Gold* "My mother was just kind to people because it made her happy..." is the final thought that nearly brings tears to my eyes.

*Gold* Summary: "... the things showed me. I cherish them above all. They have made me who I am. And I hope to make my own children as rich as she has made me without saying a word..." brought a feeling of warmth to my heart. Showing beats telling a million to one. The writer did mention seeking nuggets of her mother's wise words at a certain time. Now you are a wordsmith.

Thank you for the enjoyable read.

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Review of Painted Cards  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Clock* REVIEW FOR 36-HR MISSION BY Writing.Com Support Author Icon *Bookstack* REVIEW A NEWBIE *Reading* *Quill*

What was the *Hook* that made me read and review this item?

 Painted Cards Open in new Window. (E)
This is actually Chapters 1 and 2 for the first book I've ever written.
#1961837 by Hispanic Attack Author IconMail Icon
is the first two chapters of "Painted Cards," by Hispanic Attack Author Icon I immediately got visuals of painted cards.

Recently have read a story from another WDC Member who wrote about her beautifully crafted Tarot cards, and I can envision dynamic images gracing the backs of large reddish orange cards.

*Hook* #Two: It is listed as Young Adult (YA)

*Hook* #Three: Two Chapters for under 12KB is a good deal.

*Carv* The Ride - Hooking the reader is not the only thing a writer has to do well to keep people pouring over pages. We must convince them to get in and ride with us, and hopefully take it to the end. Not only have I come to the end, but now I cannot stop thinking about this kid Oliver.


*Blockv* Description: Writer Hispanic Attack, has done very well in showing us the racing thoughts and jumbled mind of a young man who feels and operates outside of his environment. The reader finds herself in a classroom setting where she is once again an outsider. Day dreaming one of her problems. Wanting to escape a strange and hostile place.


*Blockv* Character: Oliver seems to be grieving. We know that "...Oliver made a point not to stand out. Jeans, black sneakers, a green t-shirt, and a black cotton jacket blended him..." A key is given to the reader as Oliver creates this list as a type of touchstone.

"-Oliver Keys
-Blonde hair
-Mother: Ruby Frost
-Father is missing
-Live in Colorado"



*Blockv* Technicality: I found some trouble with "... his eyes gaped out the window, aspiring everything but admiration.." but it could just be that I do not get it. But I will continue to think about Oliver and "The Painted Cards."


*Blockv* Suggestion:Reread your chapters out loud as they are. It is a good way to check for flow. "Painted Cards" is a very interesting story, and I cannot wait to read more about Oliver, and his thorny world. Thank you.

*Penbl* Write on!

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In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Coingold**Coinsilver**Coincopper* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Coincopper**Coinsilver**Coingold*

 Through the Super Collider Open in new Window. (E)
A physicist is working late, falls asleep and has a strange dream
#1693491 by Light Author IconMail Icon
is beautiful.

*Hook* Hook Line and Sinker - you had me at Physicist Scientific and Poetry

*blockgray* Reaction as a science-nerd: The Super Collider came up in a conversation yesterday. That is the coincidence that made me click on "Through the Super Collider".

*blockgray* The prose is so well done;

"...I’m called String Theory

What about you
Ball of quivering activity
They call me
Quantum Loop Gravity

I should not see two
Both theories can’t exist..."

*blockgray* The universe is being discussed and diagrammed upon the chalkboard of those written words. *stargray* *Globe*

*blockgray* An experience of our unlimited imagination that is truth stranger than fiction.

*blockgray* Overall: You have a new fan and follower. As a writer, you have engaged me to a point of near obsession with the subject and intelligence of your work. *Reading*

*Tools2* Technical: There are probably more errors in this review than in your beautifully crafted prose. I would not change a thing.

Bravo. *Hand1*

Write On! *Quill*

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Penbl* *Penbl* REVIEW A NEWBIE NOW! *Penbl* *Penbl* CHALLENGE FROM The StoryMaster Author Icon *Penbl* *Penbl*

 The Story of the Realm Open in new Window. (E)
A once upon a time which created the plains of existence
#1961439 by Dylan Faustus Author IconMail Icon
is a story about an enduring love that surpasses time and space. Some love stories are written about soul mates also known as Twin Flames. *Fire* *Fire*

*Fire**Hook**Fire* Opening Hook: It seems irreverent to use the term "hook," for what persuaded this reader to go beyond the title. "...When they saw each other flames sparked within the
destined pair..."

*Fire* The opening paragraph is of epic quality:

*Fire* The reader is dropped into a descriptive scene of a crowded and insane market area. "... met through the chaos of a town
market..."

*Fire* We have a solid man and woman who are the main characters: "The woman was...", "... the man stood..."

*Fire* There is a connection or a building tension: "... The woman was snatched away...", "...the man stood awe struck by what he just felt..."

*Fire* A major incident occurs which promises to lead to more action: "...their love for one and other drew them together..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________

*Bookstack* There are books I have read that have stayed in my accessible memory banks over four decades. One favorite begins the first paragraph as one complete sentence. The more artistic word weavers (writers) are able to imprint a vision of the scene that has played through their heads, and present it to the reader.

*Thought2* You Dylan Faustus Author Icon have pulled this off.

*Reading* I have read the entire story several of times and although you are considered a "Newbie" here, it is obvious you are no stranger to muse, pen and paper (computer, etc.).

*Books4* The format that you have used to format the story is good and proper. and it cannot help be "shaped" in prose. May I suggest that you give more space to the lines. It is not about the writing, but what attracts and keeps readers to the end. Some readers will read anything in any font, at any size, but today's readers like ease of view.

*Peno* Literary prose is a growing genre in books today. This is just a suggestion. Take it or leave it.

*Staro**Staro**Staro**Staro**Staro* "The Story of the Realm," is a 5 star or better work, but [I detest it when people say this, but it has really helped me, and that is my goal ] I would ask that you allow me to await a complete review until I have read it again.

*Bookopen* Show, don't tell. This is common for writers. We are writing those descriptive phrases, "her knee exploded with pain as the cold tile slapped her violently, the end of her nose brushed the small layer of dust on the floor." Then we get excited..."she jumped up and ran because her knee was bleeding." - The reader was once within the story, experiencing what was happening to the character. Then, we cannot wait to get her moving to the good part of the story, so we just tell them what happens instead of letting them feel her pain as she struggles to her feet,...As a writer, I do this all the time.

*Books3**Fire* The bones of this story are a certain success.

*PenO* Write On.

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In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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*Traincar2R*
 A Gypsy Spins a Tale Open in new Window. (13+)
A fortune told, events predicted
#1926395 by Gaby Author IconMail Icon
is a very well written short story.

*Hook* Hook: Gypsy. I love to hear tales about gypsies. The title "A Gypsy Spins a Tale," is alluring. It promises to be a unique story with brought by a gypsy.

*Traincar2R* Emily: I love her character. She is both parts of her dad Matt, and her mom Sarah. She is an inquisitive child with both parents who take time to teach and communicate with her. I enjoy the interaction of both parents at separate times as well as when they are together as a family.

*Traincar2R* The gypsy woman: The dirty red scarf. I like how the writer set this up for the overview of the gypsy population near their home, and the set up for initial contact with the gypsy storyteller, and then, the final interaction.

*Traincar2R* Concept: As the reader, I found this story to have an important moral about being slow to judge other people, and that kindness can be rewarded.

*Traincar2R* Interaction: Throughout the story The interaction between Emily and her parents, the stranger gypsies, friends and parents of friends are all believable. "...filled her lungs with air and yelled, "MOOOOOOM!!! Seth is being mean again!..."

*Traincar2R* Overall: Two thumbs up because three would be odd. Terrific story.

Write on. *PenR*

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Review of Sanctuary  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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STATIC
Sanctuary Open in new Window. (E)
Finding peace within (Form: Trijan Refrain)
#1958470 by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon
is a well crafted Trijan Refrain created for a poetry contest. It does take a knowledge of words and rhyme to create such a work.

*DoorB* What I love about "Sanctuary," are the excellent descriptions constructed within the confines of the Trijan Refrain.

*DoorB* From the first line the reader knows that the "Sanctuary" is internally located. It does not take much imagination or craft to say, "when I need to escape, I meditate." What makes this spectacular is that when the writer does escape to their sanctuary, the reader is able to form pictures of an otherwise unseen place.
"...A place where quiet rivers flow...,
Whispering winds of memory
swirl in darkened mystery..."


*DoorB* Overall: The writer followed the mechanics of the Trijan Refrain coming up with a beautiful work of verse. I will continue to think about "Sanctuary" for some time to come.

*DoorB* The second stanza builds images for me the reader:
"...A library of all I know
and all that I’ve accrued.
It’s unconfined; it has no end

yet not a single word is penned..." These words stop me in my tracks. I read these lines again and again. "...A library of all I know...yet not a single word is penned..." Is a unique way of showing that the writer has shelved tomes of experience, memories and wisdom - all important needs for a writer, but stunningly a truth for all of us is revealed; "...not a single word is penned..." Memories are elusive photographs the writer uses to gather and form words to write.

Thank you for sharing this tapestry of words.


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Review of Dear Me  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*PenG* *PenG*
 
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Dear Me Open in new Window. (E)
A letter to myself, reflecting on past resolutions and future goals...
#599068 by Cubby Author IconMail Icon
is a "Letter to Thyself," that was written for a contest in 2003.

*PenG* Reaction: I enjoyed the undulation of your thoughts turning to prose, "...lose 10 pounds, exercise..." - these typical goals align with your writing desire, "...the truest thing I ever wished for was to be published?"

Then:

*PenG* "...lose 15 pounds, exercise everyday..." the majority think are most important while you are indeed trying to convince yourself that "normal" goals are easier or more likely attainable than what your heart says "...I hesitate as I touch my pen to paper, unsure about the one thing I have always yearned for..."

And then:

*PenG**PenG**PenG* The goals of writing and being published come into focus - Reality sets in. Yes, you have pushed and prodded the muse, you have written and written, and you have written work that can be tweaked and edited and the goal of publication is more possible than ever.

When you talked yourself into attaining your writing goals, you went ahead and gave yourself some real goals as an afterthought..."...lose 5 pounds, cheer hubby, and please, please forget about the housework and Write On.

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Review of Lest We Forget  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Second Review of
 
STATIC
Lest We Forget Open in new Window. (13+)
A people are dying and one man is desperate for a solution. For contest with word limits.
#1241632 by Iva Lilly Durham Author IconMail Icon
after editing and re-write:

Iva Lilly Durham Author Icon I want you to know that as I read this newer version of "Lest We Forget," I was moved to tears. This story is written with spirit and by muse. The first version was good but this is excellent.

*Rain* Emotion: This affects me personally in two ways; 1). A lifelong environmental activist and scientist this tugs at my heart because the parallels between Livia and Earth are sadly easy to see. Our planet is dying. 2). Belief in a Creator...In the first version, I don't remember if there was a distinct remembrance noted by Urgod for the faithful servant Tavnor. This time it is apparent enough that the twist goes into my heart.

*Badge* Believable: In the previous version, for me, there was a problem with Tavnor a scientist, not knowing what was going on with Livia. In this version the writer has married faith and science in a way that is not only believable, but common to most of humanity.

*People* Characters: Your characters in "Lest We Forget" have always been three-dimensional, and in this version they are lively, and as the reader, I have formed solid "pictures" in my head as to how they all look and behave.

*Man* Tavnor: Is a very good Livian (in human terms at least). A widower and father, he has love, compassion and concern for his children. He wants the best for them, and wishes them to remain faithful to their god.

*Woman* Maya: A caring and respectful daughter that does not hesitate to speak her mind. She exhibits a sense of humor appreciated by her father. This shows that they have all learned to laugh in good times and bad.

*Guitar* Pietr: Tavnor's son is a musician although his father hoped Pietr would go into Meteorology like he did. He has different goals, but is respectful and cares about his family. He is concerned about what his father thinks.

*Earth* Overall: I think you have allowed creation of this short story that can easily be converted into a full length novel, and possible series. "In the beginning..." I love "Lest We Forget." *Waterdrop*


*Thumbsupl**Thumbsupr*

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Review of COINCIDENCE?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


"
 COINCIDENCE? Open in new Window. (E)
Che sara`, sara` - or what will be, will be.
#1495235 by Oldwarrior Author IconMail Icon
," is an eerie listing of incidents throughout world history that are hard to write off as just coincidence.

*Clock2* You gave the definition of coincidence as being a meeting of events in time. I have heard people say, there is no such thing as coincidence, and according to the definition that is not true. So, from now on, I will know that coincidence does indeed occur, the real question should be, are the events predestined.

*Bookopen* This piece was very entertaining, and I did enjoy the information. I will be thinking about this for some time to come.

*RibbonW* Thank you for all of your service.

*Pen* Write On.


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In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


"
 The Child Who Sits In The Pew Before Me Open in new Window. (E)
Loving observations of a mentally disabled child
#1162565 by Sweet Georgia Brown Author IconMail Icon
," is a beautiful article comparing a young person with disabilities to how "normal" people act toward worship in Church. *Baretree2*

*NoteB* Character: You described the actions and enthusiasm of this young man in enough detail, that I did get a good mental picture of how he acts in a house of worship. *Baretree2*

*NoteB* I love how you sum it all up in the end: "...it is from the beautiful child sitting...before me that I have gained the most." *Baretree2*

*NoteB* Writing from an emotional and spiritual state can be an inspiration to ourselves and others. You have expressed yourself fully in this piece, and I thank you for sharing your thoughts.
*Baretree2*

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