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Review Requests: ON
138 Public Reviews Given
152 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm honest but constructive. I'll explain why I give the number of stars I give and what you could do to improve that. I do fix grammar as well as look at style, emotional triggers, characters, and other things like that. I'll get back to you with a full review in a couple of days or so after the request, depending on the length of the item.
I'm good at...
I'll read almost anything. I look at everything I can in regards to your writing.
Favorite Genres
Fiction of any kind
Least Favorite Genres
fanfiction where I don't know the universe or subject matter, erotica, western.
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, pretty much anything.
Least Favorite Item Types
Full-length books, although I will review them.
I will not review...
I will not review Erotica or Sexual things.
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of Ritual of Life  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good poem! I like the use of figurative language. :)
27
27
Review of Ink and Graphite  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful writing, beautiful language and overall, beautiful imagination. Great job!
28
28
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Very good use of the acrostic poem form. I sometimes feel the same way about valentines day.
29
29
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a good poem, I like it. Good job!
30
30
Review of An American Mom  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is absolutely beautiful. As an American, I'm thankful every day for those who serve and have served, and parents serve just as much as their children do, I believe. Amazing job on the language and the rhyme scheme. I agree, this needs to be put to music! :)
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31
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this poem. I don't see any errors, good job!
32
32
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review your work!

First impressions: This poem starts out with a statement, saying there are ghosts in the house, and that there's a great many of them because they "inhabit every room"
Overall impression: I love this poem. It rhymes, it's sweet, and it's just the right length.
Errors?:None
Questions about the piece?:None
{/

Great job, and keep writing!
This is my Sig for reviews
33
33
Review of Raised for Us  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review your work!

First impressions:I love this poem, Easter is one of my favorite holidays.
Overall impression:As a Christian, I feel the importance of this poem, and you do a good job.
Errors?:none that I see.
Characters:Jesus.
Plot: its a haiku, so no real plot.
Questions about the piece?:none


Great job, and keep writing!
This is my Sig for reviews
34
34
Review of The Nut Tree  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review your work!

First impressions: I was a bit skeptical at first, but I grew to like it
Overall impression: I like it, I think it's clever and well written.
Errors?: None that I see
Characters: None
Plot: There's not so much a plot, since it's a poem, but you do a good job with the descriptions.Questions about the piece?: What prompted you to write this? Was there an inspiration?


Great job, and keep writing!
This is my Sig for reviews
35
35
Review of Sentience  
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review your work!

First impressions: This is a funny little story to start with, it's a tad confusing. As you read, however, you start to get that that's the point, and things really start to clear up.
Overall impression: I like this. It's short, sweet, and speculative. It gives me "Toy Stories" vibes, almost, except its office supplies.
Errors?: None that I see :)
Characters: you have 4 characters, Stapler, Scissors, and Tape, as well as Dr. Thomas, and they're all distinctive and have clear personalities.
Plot: The plot is good, well written, and structured.
Questions about the piece?: what happens after he throws the trio in the trash? Are they ok? Does he start to realize something is off?


Great job, and keep writing!
This is my Sig for reviews
36
36
Review of The Honor  
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, great job!
37
37
Review of Meeting Toby  
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aww, such a cute and wonderful story! It sounds like something my own grandparents would tell us about over dinner or while playing a game. It made me smile :)

Great Job!
38
38
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this poem, it's light and fun, and the rhyming makes it feel almost childish (in mood, not in technical skill). I could see a librarian reading this to the children over storytime, or a grandparent telling this story to a toddler. As it were, it made me smile.

Great job!
39
39
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love this concept, and you've written it very well :)

For Denial, you showed the relationship between denial and doubt. Will they come back? Do they care?

For Anger, you showed the irrational anger and things that come out when you think you mean everything you say at the time.

For Bargaining, you showed the dependent feeling and the hopefulness that fades into hopelessness.

For Depression, you showed spiralling doubt and self-blame.

And finally, for Acceptance, you showed healing.

Great job!
40
40
Review of A Young Nation  
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! I love the trinket! Now to answer your questions...

Did you have to go somewhere besides the Newsfeed to collect the Trinket? I came from the newsfeed and ended up here.

After you found the portal, were you able to get the Trinket? Yes!

What did you think of the item you found at the end of your journey?
I thought it was very good :)

Should these guys be locked up without computer privileges?
Yes, indefinitely *Laugh*
41
41
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm still working on mine, good job!
42
42
Review of The Ooze  
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review!

For this being so short, it has a strangely complete feel. That's not easy to do, in my experience. You've created 2 distinct characters and another side character in the space of just under 250 words. It's very well written, I can picture the scene.

Great Job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
43
43
Review of New Home  
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done :)

here for me
44
44
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey, I'm here to review :)

I watched the video, and what you've done is basically translated it into a working story. You did a good job working your own elements into what was already established. Good job!

I don't see any apparent grammatical issues, and the prose seems to be pretty error-free, so I think that'll conclude it! :)

This is my Sig for reviews
45
45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is odd, not going to lie. It's a funny concept, and I actually really enjoyed the story.

The Plot: The Plot is very straightforward. A woman wants to eat and eat and eat and eat... you get the point. You didn't tell too much or too little, so I think the plot was very nice.

The Characters: I think your characters were distinct and each served their own purpose. Good job.

What I Liked: I think you did a great job with the description.

What could be improved: Honestly, spelling, and that's about it!

Overall Impression: See the very first statement.

** Image ID #2248823 Unavailable **
This is my Sig for reviews
46
46
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good afternoon, and I hope I find you well. As you know, you requested that I review this short piece. Before I start, I’d like to ask a couple questions.

Is this part of a bigger project?
Why Pink Roads?
Have you played Fallout 4?

Now, the reason I ask the last question is that I see some parallels and was wondering if you possibly drew inspiration? Even if you did, it’s different enough that it’s not a problem, just something I noticed. But let’s move on to corrections:

This is a link to a google doc, with corrections and suggestions:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iFGzezffyePMbe...

My Feelings on the piece: It's a great concept. Your execution is good, and I love where you're headed. I'm giving you five stars because I truly love the idea. If you want to look at other pieces that follow a similar structure, I wrote one called "March 1st, 2056" , just if you want to look through others.

Happy Writing!

** Image ID #2248823 Unavailable **
This is my Sig for reviews
47
47
Rated: E | (5.0)
This looks fun :)
48
48
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tolstoy took me forever to find, but I got it!

Thanks for the fun challenge!

** Image ID #2248823 Unavailable **
(It turned out really nicely)
49
49
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'll admit, I kind of stayed in the back of your portfolio, testing the waters and whatnot, and finally decided to give you the credit you deserve. I love your poetry, it's so descriptive. You could totally write a book, and if you do, let me know so I can buy it :)

All the best,
Loren
50
50
Review of I Met God  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a lovely story. As a person of the Christian Faith, you captured it all quite well. One thing I really love is this sentence: “First of all, we aren’t homeless, we are houseless." This is a really nice distinction between house and home. Overall, great job!
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