I think that his poem is good...was a little hard to picture in some of the stanzas...Second and third stanza did not flow as you read it...little rough around the edges...but a great start...I think that if you get the 2nd and 3rd stanza to read more smoothly...then it will be an awesome poem...Write On!!
Wow!!! The decrisption in this poem was breth taking...I mean you could see what was going on from verse to verse...How the girl was being screamed at the then the punching and the anger...How the guy was in here with the blooded out eyes...Powerful description and poem...Please keep writing...I would love to read more...
I think if you maybe take my ideas into consideration this poem would sound more clear as you read and picture it...I think that it is a good start...I am far from being perfect with my poems either...but I practice with them and journal everyday to see if I can use anything in a poem that day....Keeping On writing...
This poems get right to the point..it is hard to get your mind off a guy, especially if they have hurt you or never call...I have BPD so I go through this alot with everything everyday..I seem to journal alot lately...
I would like to see more your poems if you want someone to review them...I get into these lows and it is hard to get out of the...
I really love this poem...You can see your grandpa as he is described in the poem. The last line really makes the poem truely a "grandpas prayer" Hope to read more of your poems in the future...Write on!!
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