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137 Public Reviews Given
137 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Mother's Love  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was a good 55 word story. I imagine it would be quite difficult giving a child away for adoption.. but I guess it has to be done sometimes. I know that, with the word limit, it is hard to make correct sentences, but some of them are incomplete. Either way, this is a good story, with a beginning and an end. Good job!
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Review of Stiks on the Web  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is an interesting little piece of prose. It is very simple. Did you mean to misspell stick? Also I think that hard drive is two words. I think it could be a cool little story; A story of a stick figure and the troubles that it encounters in the world! Aside from that, it seems like this poem is about how surfing games on the internet can cause you to gain virus' which is very true. It is a good message. Is this Stick Figure perhaps a rag doll?
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Review of a hero  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
I can see that you are very creative. I think you should go over this a few times to fix the spelling mistakes and grammar errors. After, if you add to the story a little, like describe the character. How, did Rohan get the chemicals in his eyes? What type of accident was it? What type of people was his father dealing with? What were they doing? You should try to make this into a longer story, and be careful about your errors. It could be quite interesting!
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Review of The Bull Rider  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello I am Murc and this is a review from Ready, Set, Action!

Remember that I am not a professional writer, and this is only my opinion.

My Thoughts
I liked your poem. It's different to see one that is written in a different type of dialect, my uncle tries to talk like that sometimes! You did a good job describing the beaten that bull riders take. It was a fun read.

Grammar or Errors
In the second part, with regular english, the line:
"And watch at gate fly open..." This must have been a typo. I suppose at should have been that?

What I liked Most
I liked that you added two different versions. This way you can target two different audiences!

How It Could Be Better
No comments.

Additional Thoughts
I am glad that I found this poem. It was fun to read, and interesting. Great job!


I hope that my review has been helpful to you. Have a great day!

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Review by Murc
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello I am Murc and this is a review from Ready, Set, Action!

Remember that I am not a professional writer, and this is only my opinion.

My Thoughts
This was a really interesting poem. It is much different than many that I have come across. I really enjoyed it.

Grammar or Errors
Second line, typo on resources.

What I liked Most
I liked how you displayed the human race in this poem and it is really quite true. There are already astronauts looking for resources on other planets, if a live-able planet was found, we probably would invade it.

How It Could Be Better
I found no places for improvement, other than the typo.

Additional Thoughts
I liked the structure and the story of this poem. You used a good choice of words, and it flowed nicely. Well done!


I hope that my review has been helpful to you. Have a great day!

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#1823925 by Not Available.
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Review of Dare  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello I am Murc and this is a review from Ready, Set, Action!

Remember that I am not a professional writer, and this is only my opinion.

My Thoughts
I really enjoyed this poem. At first I wondered what was going to happen, maybe you are talking about sky diving, or rescue swimming, but when I got to the end, I found myself smiling.

Grammar or Errors
I did not notice any errors.

What I liked Most
I definitely liked the ending the most. As I said in the 'my thoughts' section, I found it to be quite suspenseful, and unpredictable.

How It Could Be Better
I know, to you, the pool was probably icy cold. But to the me, it's hard to imagine that you are describing a pool.

Additional Thoughts
I am happy that I've come across this poem. Write on!

I hope that my review has been helpful to you. Have a great day!

 Invalid Item 
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#1823925 by Not Available.
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Review of The Messiah  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello!


My name is Murc and this is a WDC Power Review!


*Please feel free to ignore any comments I make, I am merely being honest.*



My Thoughts:
I liked your poem. It flowed well, and I liked your choice of words. As a Christian, I also enjoyed the plot.

My Favorite Part:
"They gave the Lord a borrowed tomb;
disciples felt impending doom."

I liked this because it gives the readers a feeling of how Jesus was treated, and shows that the disciples were a bit sceptical about whether Jesus would indeed rise from the dead, and at the same time could show that that grieved his dead.

Errors or Typos:
I saw no errors in this.

How I think it could be better:
As a Baptist, I think you should add a stanza explaining how Jesus was born from the virgin Mary, in a stable. - This would furthermore show the people that Jesus lived a tough life while he was on earth.

Also, at the very end, I think it would be good to come up with a stanza explaining that Jesus plans to return someday. Perhaps the line could be:

Jesus shall return again someday,
to take all of his believers away.

Being a more experienced poet than I, you could probably come up with much better lines than that, but I think that it is important that you add in those two points, if/once the contest is over.

Overall Opinion:
I like to see Christian poems or stories written on here. As it says in the Bible, the Lord wants us to spread the Word. You have done well at aiding that cause here. I hope to come up with a way to do the same someday!

I hope this review has been helpful for you and that you have a great day!



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Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello!


My name is Murc and this is a WDC Power Review!


*Please feel free to ignore any comments I make, I am merely being honest.*



My Thoughts:
I enjoyed reading this, and I agree. Heart is all that is really needed to have a good basketball team. When I played Varsity basketball, our center was six foot three. He got lots of rebounds, won jump ball often, and could dunk, even though he was shorter than a lot of the other centers. On another note, my brother is five foot ten, often got double doubles, or triple doubles. He was good at boxing out and getting into his opponent's head. That was all he needed.

My Favorite Part:
I liked how the kid wanted to be the next great basketball player. There was a shorter guy on my team, around five foot seven, and he's the captain of his University ball team. There's a lot more to basketball than height!

Errors or Typos:
In your description, you misspelled Height. In the description, especially, you want to make sure that you have good grammar and spelling. This increases your chances of having people read your article.

How I think it could be better:
It would be much more readable if you put a space in between each of your paragraphs. Also, when writing, it's often recommended that you spell out your numbers.

Overall Opinion:
You have a lot of statistics that help you make your point. You explore both sides of the argument. This is a well written article. Good job!

I hope this review has been helpful for you and that you have a great day!



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Review of Narrow Path  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello!


My name is Murc and this is a WDC Power Review!


*Please feel free to ignore any comments I make, I am merely being honest.*



My Thoughts:
I enjoyed reading this. I felt drawn to it because of how its appearance was similar to the title.

My Favorite Part:
"to mock my gut unfed."

I know the feeling, walking, waiting for a ride, to get a drink and something to eat.

Errors or Typos:
I think you could have done without some of the commas at the end of the lines. An example: is my, own. I think it could have flowed better without the comma here, perhaps you disagree.

How I think it could be better:
See Errors and Typos

Overall Opinion:
While I was looking it over again for my favorite part, I realized what you were writing about, or gained a basic idea. For me, it would have been walking home from the pub at night, in a blizzard. Thanks for writing this. It was very interesting.

I hope this review has been helpful for you and that you have a great day!



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Review of Drowning  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Good day! This is a review from the Dream Team!



Please realize that these are just my opinions. You may take my advice or leave it, it is entirely up to you!



My Overall Opinion
I really enjoyed this. I got two different meanings out of it. One, it could be God talking about trying to help one of his creations, or two, A loving friend, trying to help out another friend, but in each meaning, the people refuse to take the help.

My Favorite Part
"I threw you a life preserver
but you swam away from it –"


Grammar Mistakes or Typing Errors
I noticed no errors.

How I think It Could Be Better
No comments. I liked it.

Additional Thoughts
I have felt like I've been in both of the people's shoes, countless times. I liked this poem, and can relate. Thanks for the read.

 Dream Team Guest Room  (ASR)
No classes to take, just an eagerness to help out, learn, and be a team player.
#1715976 by ~SilverMoon~


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Review of Pet Party  
Review by Murc
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey. This was a cool story. I was in suspense the whole time, thinking the pet was going to be something like a frog, a beaver, or something strange like that, but I never imagined you were writing from the point of view of aliens. This is a cool concept, I liked it. Well Done!

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Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, I just want to drop in quickly to say that I really like your images, and I like the way that you have created a story line for the character name that you use on this site. You use a wide array of words, making it very appealing and fun to read.
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Review of Fog  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed your story. It was very descriptive, I was able to thoroughly picture the stranger.

What I liked the most was when you explained Peter's background, then described the Stranger. I have always been skeptical about how much description is okay to provide in a story, and this helps to give me a better idea.

When Peter first woke up, the blurriness sounds very familiar. I feel like that most mornings.

I noticed no errors, but I did get a little confused about one part at the end, perhaps you can fill me in:

"How ‘bout you let me rest."

I am wondering if this is meant to be a statement/demand, or if it is meant to be a question? Was the guy supposed to be.. like a killer? Or maybe a ghost, since he saw the fog and Peter didn't?

This is the only problem I saw with this. Regardless, I am very happy that I came across this. I feel like this will help me with my own writing. Thanks a lot!

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Review of Fusion  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was pretty good. I liked how you added the definition of incongruity, which I had to go back to your story, to figure out to spell, since I'd never learned the word either. It's very true though, that people find stuff like that funny. I had a friend shoot a pellet gun at a tin building, have it come back and hit me on the top of my, at the time, shaved head. He thought that was quite funny, so did my brother. Also, it's something you wouldn't imagine happening. This could help someone realize that a little more, give you something to think about while writing comedy.
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Review of Little Black Hen  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello!


My name is mec86 and this is a WDC Power Review!


*Please feel free to ignore any comments I make, I am merely being honest.*



My Thoughts:
This was a good story that is written so that children can understand it. It seems like something that I've read before though, I can't think of what it is though.

My Favorite Part:
“Who wants to help me eat the Meatloaf Muffins?” said Little Black Hen. “I do!” said Dog. “I do!” said Duck. “I do!” said Rabbit. That is how it seems to work. But, at the same time, it was very predictable.

Errors or Typos:
Buy Everything Else, And Bake It. I think you should get rid of the upper case letters and instead try typing it in bold. It would look like this: Buy everything else, and bake it. Also, you should put each piece of dialogue in a new sentence.

“Not I,” said Dog. “Not I,” said Duck. Here is how it should look:

"Not I," said the Dog.

"Not I," said the Duck.

It is much easier to read when you make new paragraphs.


How I think it could be better:
I think if you added names to the characters, like Betty the Black Hen, it would be more interesting for children. Remember to think of a creative name that the children would enjoy. You could use alliteration, or try to think of a funny or cool name that might have something to do with the animal.

Also, I think it would be much more entertaining, if you added more story. Like what did the black hen run into while he/she was on the way to the store. You could also extend the ending a little bit.

Overall Opinion:
This could be a great children's story. Separate the paragraphs, and add some story. You will be surprised about how much better it is.

I hope this review has been helpful for you and that you have a great day!


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Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Good job writing your first story on this site. Also, this review can act as some practice for you, with learning to check your emails and such.

Your story is very good. Let the negative thoughts telling you that it is not good slide. Those negative thoughts are lies. Or if you'd rather think of it this way, those negative thoughts are Satan trying to make you turn back. You can either let him have his way, or shut him out.

After you get used to writing a little more, and after you receive some reviews you'll find that writing will become a lot easier, and you'll be more confident with your skills.

Don't be afraid to explore the sight without understanding everything immediately. It takes time to learn. It took me time to learn, and I still have a lot of learning left. A LOT.

To make your font appear to larger, a different color, bold, italics, centered, etc.. Just highlight the text you want to change, and click the choice that you want. The choices are found above the Text Body box.

Over time, you'll become addicted to this site. Being that you have an addictive personality, like me. Keep writing, and we'll try to get your work exposed as quickly as we can!


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Review of I have PTSD  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey man. This was a great poem. It really helps me to realize what those that have been to war have to go through. You do well to paint a solid picture of what is it you go through, by having PTSD. I have met a couple of people on this site, that have also been to war. I will send you an email on this site of their links. You may enjoy their input, and maybe it will help you with treatment.

One thing that caught my eye the most when I was reading this is:

"Why did i get to come back? Ii'm nobody special"

Well, I beg to differ. Until I joined this site, I didn't think my writing would really have any affect on the readers. Figured it would be boring, and unoriginal. I soon realized that I was wrong. Now, how long have I known you in this online community? Something like 5 or 6 years. When you became a friend on my facebook page, you quickly became one of the people that I enjoyed talking to the most. Maybe that is not that significant to you. But, your a good guy, somebody special.

There a couple small things you can do to make this a little more appealing for someone that is reading it. Like I say, they are just small things that would take no longer than 5 or 10 minutes to fix. The first thing, is capitalizing I. Next, you want to make sure you have spaces in between each word. I know these are mostly typos. I also know, that a good writer, writes everything down first, like you did. But, the next step is editing. The last thing that I noticed, is you don't have any periods. I don't know a lot about poetry, but I think that if you ended each point with a period, it will make the people that are reading it, able to understand it better and go along with the flow a little better.

I'm not trying to appear to be a picky reader or anything. I took an interest in reviewing when I joined this site, and learned that a good reviewer doesn't only tell the writer how good it is, but will try to help the writer with anything they find the writer can work on. After you receive a few reviews, and try to follow what the reviewer is trying to tell you, you will find that the quality and skill of your own abilities will rise, tremendously. This is why, when I write something, I look forward to thorough reviews.

I liked this poem! It's great. If you was to work out the small errors, it would be excellent. I am looking forward to reading more.



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Review of Felarya Races  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a cool word search. The words in it are quite unique to what one would find in a normal word seach. Frankly, I am quite bad at word searches, myself, so I didn't finish it. But I would still like to send a review that may or may not help you out.

I liked how you have a well mapped out story. The casual reader, that may not be interested in research, may have been a bit confused about the storyline. But, I followed your links, and there is actually a lot to it.

I like your art style. It actually reminds me of a friend's style, that I haven't seen in a while. I am huge anime/manga fan, so that helps me like your entry all the more. I noticed your art files labeled "Felarya Vore Comic." I like your.. I guess I would call it.. format. The way each page is set up, and the visual sound effects, all make it much better. Also, each of your characters have their own characteristics, that are much different than the others. I probably speak on behalf of a lot of viewers when I say, the emphasis on breasts, and such, as a manga, would definitely furthermore hold the readers attention. Example: Orihime from Bleach. *Laugh*

I noticed that you said English is not your original language. I am going to try to help you out a little bit with the sentence structure and proper spelling for:

 Felarya Races  (13+)
There are many different races in Felarya. Some are best avoided
#1731968 by BIG BAD WOLF is hopping


But, it's not that big of a deal. I mean, after all, you are not trying to write novels, you're making comics. But having proper spelling and good sentence structure will help peak the interests of the reader a little more. I will post the paragraphs here so you can see how they should look.

"Uh oh! Somehow, you've managed to end up in the one place that is considered highly dangerous: Felarya, the place full of strange stories about large women, treasure, and danger.

You better keep your wits about you while you are here. For you never know who, or what, is lurking in those wild areas, waiting for a chance to eat a foolish adventurer. Don't let appearances deceive you."


There are not many mistakes there. For someone that is using english as a second language, you have a good grasp of it. I'm going to look at some more of your deviant art. Keep up the good work!


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Review of Dear Professor  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was very enjoyable to read. It was a different way to look at a guideline for one to improve their writing skills with. I found it to be quite funny.

I liked step four the most. I actually read it a couple times, I enjoyed it so much. It literally made me laugh out loud.

This piece thoroughly told a story, and showed how not to look at a list about how to improve ones writing.

Great read! Great read, indeed!

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Review of Wraith  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with The Lucky Leprechaun's Gro...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This review is made by the light of the moon as we prepare to do battle against the Green Witch!

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I really enjoyed this poem. It is not often, it seems, that I come across a poem with a flow that I can access easily. This was very descriptive, and used a wide array of words.

I noticed no grammatical errors in this. The only problem that I really have, is that I find myself confused about who or what I is. During the first four stanzas, it appears that I could either be the reader, or you, the author, in your room, that sees a wraith. But, in the last stanza, it leads me to believe that I could be a vampire... That calls his tomb a room, and has an accessory that allows him to bathe in the sunlight.

So, I guess, that leaves me wondering if you can tell me who I is?

Other than that, I thought this was a great read, and I was interested from start to finish. Great work.

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Review of Vampire Meals  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with The Lucky Leprechaun's Gro...  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
This review is made by the light of the moon as we prepare to do battle against the Green Witch!


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You have a good story here. I liked how you added a variety of different words, and I liked how you abbreviated words to try to make it flow a little better. I thought it had a good ending, it was a very cool idea.

I noticed that you started a lot of sentences off with lower case letters, and there were a few spots where you could have either added a comma, or a period.

I also think you should work on the flow a little. Keep the lines that rhyme all in the same stanza. I was confused at first when you had two lines that rhymed, then the third was left by itself. But then in the following stanza there was it's mate. I would have enjoyed it more, myself, I think if each of these lines were in their own stanza anyways.

I think if you were to work these little things out, this could be a very good poem. Keep it up!

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Review by Murc
In affiliation with The Lucky Leprechaun's Gro...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This review is made by the light of the moon as we prepare to do battle against the Green Witch!


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This was interesting to read. Lyssa is a very well thought out character, and she seems to be very original. The God's acted the way that I imagine God's would act, and I enjoyed seeing references to Adam and Eve in writing. I could see a picture of what Lyssa and her children were like in their vampire states, as I could see the visual of Hercules killing his family, and the God's talking to each other.

There were a couple technical errors I noticed, and I realize that this is just a character sketch, and was written several years ago, but I thought in case you are concerned, I would still point them out.

1) "The light of the sun WAS denied her." Did you mean to say HAD?

2) "To Lyssa, THERE were all her children." Did you mean THEY?

3) "Eventually, Apollo intervened on LYSSA behalf." Lyssa's.

4) "Yet this merging of beings did happen with A least..." at least

I know these are probably just typos, but I know how easy they can be to miss.

Aside from the couple little typos, I thought this was very good. Have you got anymore of it written?

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Review of THE RUDDER  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was great. It was informative, I was able to somewhat visualize some of your experiences, and you talked about God. It seems very rare to find an author that actually mentions God and Christianity in their work. With this, you are doing exactly what God wants you to do, spread the word.

I was not able to find anything to complain about here. That is why I rated you with 5 stars. It was excellent.

I am happy I read this. It's almost like God sent you to review one of my pieces, so that I could review this. This really spoke to me. Thank you.

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Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is really, very good. It took me a few minutes to completely understand, but it's really very clever. This is also very true. This is what is going to happen someday, if things continue on the way they are going.

The only things I really notice that you could work on, is the grammar. It's nothing that time consuming really. The only real problem is once in a while you may have missed a capital letter at the first of a sentence, you missed a couple periods, and you misspelled forest. Other than that, this is really interesting, and good.

You'll have a cool style.

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Review of "A Man Among Men"  
Review by Murc
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
That was great. I am usually not a big poetry reader, but this reminded me so much of my grandfather. It's almost like you were describing him from the point of view of one of his children. This really made me think, and it actually made me fairly happy. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to read this.

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