This is pretty cool. At first I didn't really understand it, because I didn't realize it was a chapter. But then I went back and read the first chapter. The first chapter seems like one of those "get in your head" type of pieces. It sets a good, creepy setting to get the readers interested in reading more. It seems like you are trying to write it in the style of the Bible or something. Like a Damienic Bible or something. I thought other than the creepy start, it kind of read like an encyclopedia or dictionary. I think if you were to describe your characters a little more, tell us who some of the other beings are that is confronting Lucifer about also creating things. This could be quite entertaining. Will be looking for the next chapter.
This reminds me of the warning messages I get on World of Warcraft. I have had many, many problems in the past with virus's, account theft, and stuff like that. Now I am more careful. I only visit sites that I know I can trust.
This article would be very insightful to a person that has little experience with computers, and it is good for parents, anybody really. But it looks very professional. I have a hard time imagining that you wouldn't be making warning messages for a living.
That is pretty funny. It reminded me of a Monty Python skit. I could see my old drama teacher trying to get us to act out something like this. The customer reminded me of an old neighbor I had a few years ago. Very, very picky. And the reactions of the waiter and the manager.
I'm just kidding. I just thought I would put that there to at least attempt to be funny. I completely agree with what you are saying here. I mean, one of the main reasons I even decided to join this site is to get reviews... good or bad... they are all building blocks to help be better. So far, I have been doing just as you said, I have been responding to everyones reviews. I mean, at least they are taking the time to read my entries. I am happy for that.
Aside from how this makes me feel however, I should point out some things that I especially liked about this entry. 1) I learned in journalism, that one things a person can do to make something more attractive for the reader is to make good use of what white space you have. Also, I liked how you have some words in bold, some in italics, some in regular font, some big some little. There's really a lot of diversity here for a piece that is only around 700 words. I liked it.
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