Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/muzzy43
Review Requests: ON
1,371 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
Review of Washing  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
Are you washing the dishes with melancholy?
An old school friend of mine had a stroke while scrubbing her dishes.
She saw smoke and thought something was burning.
Thankfully, her daughter convinced her to go to the hospital.
Women become emotional quickly, especially over repetitive chores.
My mother broke down in tears while vacuuming and sat staring out a window.
How many more breakfast?
How many more dishes to wash?

Thoughtful dishwashing.


Review of So Long, So Long!  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
A feminine grooming tome. I love it!
As early as five years grown, I'd watch my mom comb her hair
with the same snarl in her locks.
I queried, "Why do women have long hair?"
"Because men like it," she smirked.

This is a professional work of writing.
Good job!

Review by bob county
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
The brain can remain active for 5 to ten minutes after the heart stops.
But when the heart stops so do the lungs and the brain is oxygen-starved.
That's when the fun begins as the thousands of neurons in the brain flit out.
A brain surgeon had a heart attack and recalled seeing Heaven and naked women covered in butterflies.
He wrote a book about being "Woke".
"The stones so far below" reminded me of the craggy cliffs of the Skelligs.
I climbed the steps of the Skelligs to visit ancient Irish ruins.
A Christen monastery had been built on it, but you could still find runic symbols.
Your tome revolves around winter and stones against the sea.
I like it.

"A man can only be dead so long before he forgets his name." my dad told me one Christmas.
He did not like being in a nursing home.
He only lived two years at Sunny Hill.

Bob County
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Have you seen Frederico Fellini's "Juliet of the Spirits"?
It's a story about a wife, who questions her marriage and purpose in life.
"Lucinda's Spell" is a similar theme about a woman looking for meaning in Witchcraft.
I'm curious about Mokuba's magical molestation.
I have experienced that with my older sisters in my childhood.
Back in the day at U-Mass Boston, I took a course on writing.
I got an A for my short story "Succubus."
It was about a coven of vampire witches, who feed on men.
They suck the blood from the testicles... I graduated in 89.
I got a chuckle from the breakfast burrito reference.
This is silly but I pictured Joan as Ingred Burman.
She was a great Joan of Arch.

Your writing is flawless.

Bob County

Review of Summer Kiss  
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You made a good choice to have the narrator be submissive.
It makes the character more endearing.
I asked my mom, one summer in my childhood, why two ladies were kissing.
She said they were hippies. This was the 1970's.
Mom was old school; born in 1926.
My dad believed homosexuals were demon-possessed. Dad was born in 1910.
I think there is a gay gene; were born that way.
I asked Sister Emeritus, "Why Adam didn't come from Eve?" in CCD class.
Mom had told me where babies come from.
Sister Emeritus answered, "Man is the head of the family."
So, Eve was Adam's clone...(?)

You can be a published author.

Bob County
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is so sweet.
I've worked in retail and I drove a checkered cab.
The Christmas party is always awful and secret Santa can get you fired.
I bought a perfume for a manager and she thought, "Do you think I stink?"
I did not, "It reminds me of spring and you."
"I will go to HR if you ask me out." she rebuffed.
Now I just get a gift card.

Keep writing!

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
I write automatically.
Sometimes I'll use a Tarot Deck or stare at my aquarium.
Are you a psychiatrist?
This topic has never occurred to me.
I know our brains can be fooled by scotopia and three-dimensional drawings.
Although we replace every cell and nerve in our brains we still have memories.
We are not the same person we were when we were born.
People with brain trauma can become entirely different personalities.
It is possible to wake up the next day with amnesia and a new persona.
We depend on our cells and brain mapping to maintain our continuity.
It may be possible to predict what kind of personality you will have from DNA.
And it may be possible to rehabilitate criminals with brain surgery.

Fun topic!

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very succinct and disturbing.
And don't forget the methane inside the ice.
When an iceberg melts it releases a large amount of methane.
Methane is poisonous and explosive.
Did you hear about the island of ice heading toward Australia?
It could cause fires and poison the air.
Rising Co2 raises climate temperature which melts the polar caps.
This can poison the air and set it on fire.

And we are running out of drinkable water.
Thanks to industrial pollution.

Keep writing!

Bob County
Review of I KNOW NOT  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
My mom confided in me she married my dad because he had a house.
She was his high school student in adult night school.
Mom got her GED and married dad.
She said she grew to love him and would never divorce him.
It was to her a mortal sin to divorce, however, she could kill him
if he cheated on her.
That would be an insult to her female pride.

Your sonnet is passionate.
Sadly, we can become trapped in our lives.
My advice is to simply meet new people.
Nature will take her course.

Bob County
Review of Sun Rays  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a sensitive sonnet.
I have a few observations.
"As you stare in that window," you wrote.
"As you stare out that window," might be clearer.
"Asking you non-verbally to stay," you wrote.
"Asking you silently to stay." might be clearer.
These are small stylistic observations.
The overall message is passionate.

Bob County
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
If you say you believe in the supernatural, scientists will say your superstitious.
But, you can say there is a fifth dimension where entities with superior telepathic abilities
can manipulate our minds and physis will accept the possibility of these multidimensional beings.
Dr. Lawrence wrote a book about how something can come from nothing. Is this Zen?
While, Jennifer Lawrence believes God is guiding her career.
Reading your interview sparked this haiku, "No matter where you go, you are there."
Clearly, you are highly educated and chose to speak truth to power.
Does this desire for justice come from God or some other inspiration?

Just curious.

Bob County
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ha! I imagined Sherly Temple making this speech.
"Or trouble you'll beget," Sherly would say wagging her finger.
In the Time Magazine interview of Adolf Hitler, Hitler said,
"The German people deserve prosperity."
He was elected by the popular vote of the Catholic majority.
He promised prosperity and a stronger Germany.
One of the first things he did was build the "People's car,"
the Volkswagon.
He also implemented food vouchers and public housing construction
and restored public transportation.
The trains ran on time...

This was a fun read.
But, be careful what you wish for.
I lost family in the war to end all wars.

Bob County
Review of love is a bath  
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hmm, "Now I understand my body I don't want it anymore,
wrap myself in cellophane and start chopping, angry that
my legs bend inwards and my hair is flat." you wrote Charlie.
Are you angry about your gender?
The process is vague. I'd like more clarity.
When I was a lad of 9 or ten I'd slide about the tub.
I like to slide over the tile floor too.

The poem is seemingly innocent, until the chopping impulse.
Keep writing!

Bob County
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I'm reminded that of the detachment from our ego for others
is a hiccup in the cerebral mapping of our mind.
I asked my brother why he volunteered to go fight the Vietcong.
"To stop international communism and secure our treaty with Vietnam."
he was reciting from a recruitment brochure.
But, I knew that was bull. He was flunking out of college and
R.O.T.C. gave him a chance at a career.
The mind is looking for a higher power a superego.
I think that's what's happening to Joan and her friends.
They are asking, "Is that all there is?"

No matter where you go, there you are...

Review of Somebody  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
If Bernie Sanders is correct we have 8 to 10 years left
until a global ecosystem collapse.
We are seeing more widespread fires and drought.
As the climate becomes warmer and storms more destructive,
there will be food shortages and less drinkable water.

I tell my friends not to have kids.
I also advise them to get out of California.
It would be better to move to the colder northern regions.
Remember there are groups to join in the green movement.

Never give up.

Bob County

Review of Ironic Monarch  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your heartfelt sonet is moving.
Deuteronomy 24:16 states,
"The children shall not be punished
for the father's sins."
Why would a just God condemn innocent
children to drown in a flood or be
slaughtered by the tyrant Herod the Great?
Why were Adam's children condemned to death?
Why would a peaceful Jesus state,
"Obey me or die."?
The Son of God should not be a terrorist.

You could publish your poem in a Christian magazine.
There are hundreds of them.
It is clear you are a just man and fair.
Muslims believe Jesus was a great prophet just like
Mohamed. Should nonChristians go to Hell?

What is the name of your cat?

Bob County

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (3.0)
The meter of the poem changes at the end;
"he had gone." seemed grammatically incorrect
and forced rhyme.
It ends with two verses rather than continuing
with five.
Nevertheless, it is a fun limerick.
I like Robin Hood.
He was a progressive socialist.

Keep Writing!

Bob County
Review of Bully  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lord of the flies in basement bondage.
I had a kid stick his dog on me.
It was a little Jack Russell.
I thought he was cute and gave him a dog biscuit.
Our dog was a mix of retriever and lab.
So, I always had a dog biscuit in my pocket.

I like the tempo and you had problems with your margin.
It was a good read and could be sold to a lifestyle magazine.

Keep writing.

Bob County
Review of seven, actually  
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
"Your homework assignment is to follow a stranger and take notes on them."
A journalist professor said.
I raised my hand and queried, "Isn't that stauking?"
The professor answered, "That's what journalists do."
Your writing is extremely vivid and reminds of a Russian
poem "We prayed for water and the floods came."
There are many references to cutting yourself.
I hope you're not doing that.. Be happy and healthy.

Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
And Jesus said, "Obey or I will kill you." (Luke 19:7)
I like this post. I've wondered if Jesus was a revolutionary.
Have you heard of socialist theology?
It's called Liberation Theology in Central America.
What did Jesus do for the homeless and poor?

Good topic.

Bob County
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well, I wouldn't call a prostitute a whore.
We have massage therapists up here-ya.
Gertrude said, "The real you hungers
and the thirst for Christ's light."
Is Gertrude deliberately speaking grammatically
What you hunger is the thirst for Christ
is more succinct.
And Joan's husband is a waiter at her mother's
restaurant. Okay, and he's serving beers to
Joan's clients, who call her a whore....
But, Seto is jealous of his brother Mokuba,
because Joan gave Mokuba a kiss..
And Seto is paying for Joan's affections.
Wasn't Marry Magdoline actually Jesus' wife?

There are a lot of fun twists.
Will there be a happy ending?

I like horseshoes and darts.
I had a nightmare a girlfriend was throwing
darts at my pogo stick.
I had stuck my pogo through the center of the dartboard.
I think Joan might do a Monica Lewinsky on Seto and his brother.
They are so rude to her.

Keep writing!

Bob County
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hmm? I like this observation.
America Vesbuti named the American contents.
It's all about colonization.
The United States was an East Coast Nation,
then they expanded.
Mexico used to include California.
But, that changed with the Mexican war.

Fun topic!

Bob County
Review of Supinity  
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This reads like sexual magic.
The belief that sex connects us to the supernatural
is in all religions.
The Virgin Mary had intercourse with the Holy Spirit.
Is the Hebrew God sexual?
Witchcraft revolves around orgies of sexual magic.
The winter solace is a pagan orgy holiday.

Fun topic!

Bob County
Review of For Dad  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
My dad put on the back of his cemetary stone
"Now I have time."
We are mortal and must accept this.
My mother was not afraid of dying.
"I've done what I wanted to do," she said.
I wish you peace and happiness.
This is a beautiful tribute to your dad.
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Cockman ship is ridiculous.
Joan has a brother fetish with her husband's brother
and Seto's brother.. Seto is her client.
He pays Joan to violently sexually assault her.
Seto and Maku are brothers and they enjoy paying
Joan to rip her clothes off and take her to
Duel Monster Game conventions.
Now, these two sadistic brothers want to meet Joan's
mother. Maku wants to rape Joans mother..
Seto is in love with Joan and wants to make her his
personal prostitute with her own office at his business.
What is polyisoprene?

This maze of sadomasochism gave me images of Caligula.
A fun flick. I also thought about the PBS series I Claudius.
When the wealthy play they usually are naughty and that reminded
me Eyes Wide Shut with the sex cult scene.
Inside us is the mindless savage that is withstrained by what
social convention, which religion? People can believe anything.
There are laws and consequences that rule our lives.
I would like to know why Joan allows Seto to meet her mother.
She has good reason to fear for her mother's safety.

Just my two cents for the ferryman.


Thanks for the positive review of Explicit, Explicit II:
#1561070 and #1633184..

(*)(*) It's fun to pretend.
595 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 24 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/muzzy43