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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/muzzy43
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Public Reviews
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Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well, I wouldn't call a prostitute a whore.
We have massage therapists up here-ya.
Gertrude said, "The real you hungers
and the thirst for Christ's light."
Is Gertrude deliberately speaking grammatically
What you hunger is the thirst for Christ
is more succinct.
And Joan's husband is a waiter at her mother's
restaurant. Okay, and he's serving beers to
Joan's clients, who call her a whore....
But, Seto is jealous of his brother Mokuba,
because Joan gave Mokuba a kiss..
And Seto is paying for Joan's affections.
Wasn't Marry Magdoline actually Jesus' wife?

There are a lot of fun twists.
Will there be a happy ending?

I like horseshoes and darts.
I had a nightmare a girlfriend was throwing
darts at my pogo stick.
I had stuck my pogo through the center of the dartboard.
I think Joan might do a Monica Lewinsky on Seto and his brother.
They are so rude to her.

Keep writing!

Bob County
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hmm? I like this observation.
America Vesbuti named the American contents.
It's all about colonization.
The United States was an East Coast Nation,
then they expanded.
Mexico used to include California.
But, that changed with the Mexican war.

Fun topic!

Bob County
Review of Supinity  
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This reads like sexual magic.
The belief that sex connects us to the supernatural
is in all religions.
The Virgin Mary had intercourse with the Holy Spirit.
Is the Hebrew God sexual?
Witchcraft revolves around orgies of sexual magic.
The winter solace is a pagan orgy holiday.

Fun topic!

Bob County
Review of For Dad  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
My dad put on the back of his cemetary stone
"Now I have time."
We are mortal and must accept this.
My mother was not afraid of dying.
"I've done what I wanted to do," she said.
I wish you peace and happiness.
This is a beautiful tribute to your dad.
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Cockman ship is ridiculous.
Joan has a brother fetish with her husband's brother
and Seto's brother.. Seto is her client.
He pays Joan to violently sexually assault her.
Seto and Maku are brothers and they enjoy paying
Joan to rip her clothes off and take her to
Duel Monster Game conventions.
Now, these two sadistic brothers want to meet Joan's
mother. Maku wants to rape Joans mother..
Seto is in love with Joan and wants to make her his
personal prostitute with her own office at his business.
What is polyisoprene?

This maze of sadomasochism gave me images of Caligula.
A fun flick. I also thought about the PBS series I Claudius.
When the wealthy play they usually are naughty and that reminded
me Eyes Wide Shut with the sex cult scene.
Inside us is the mindless savage that is withstrained by what
social convention, which religion? People can believe anything.
There are laws and consequences that rule our lives.
I would like to know why Joan allows Seto to meet her mother.
She has good reason to fear for her mother's safety.

Just my two cents for the ferryman.


Thanks for the positive review of Explicit, Explicit II:
#1561070 and #1633184..

(*)(*) It's fun to pretend.
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This reminds me of the holodeck on Next Generation.
Any event can be recreated in our memories.
But, are we a dream?
Do we live in a hologram made by a higher intelligence?

You say Anita's "jaws" froze.
Does Anita have multiple jaws?
Maybe this is a typo or not?
Jimi is imagining his world.

Keep writing!

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (3.5)
Jessica lacks character traits?
Jess needs more positive and negative personality traits?
Maybe I can provide some life experience..
I knew a girl named Peggy. She was withdrawn.
Peggy was in her 30's, but very petite.
She had to show her driver's license to buy beer.
Peggy had a recurring nightmare that insects would crawl inside of her.
She especially feared that a spider or centipede would lay eggs in her ears.
So she put earplugs in at night.
She also wore tight panties in bed to ward off centipedes and spiders.
Maybe you can incorporate this phobia in Jessica?
Peggy liked me to call her Pickles.
She never used a public pool, but enjoyed swimming in ponds and seaside beaches.

Keep writing!
And don't get bogged down in outlines.
Just write what's in your heart.

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nothing cannot exist, therefore we exist.
The monster in your story is fear...
A friend of mine died in a snorkeling accident.
She was stung by a poisonous snail.
The snail is very small and has a barb at the tip of its shell.
It is more venomous than any snake. ...
But, who has nightmares about snails?

Reading your work felt like zen.
Keep writing!

Review of Dear Me  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (3.5)
I'm picturing Stewart Smally looking at his reflection in the mirror.
"I'm good enough and gosh darn it! I like myself."
I also remember a Christian prostitute Trina.
Trina believed Jesus and Marry Mandoline had "Hooked up."
I thought that was a nifty idea for a Jesus flick.
I think William Defold played Jesus that way...
Anywho, it's a fun muse.
Sometimes I wonder if Fundamentalist Christians are masochists.
If its all preordained why bother ?

I've got a number of books I'd like to publish.
The Art of Psyco Therapy #2165561 is a fun read.
Maybe, you could be my schizophrenic publisher?

Happy September bipolar day!


Review of Summer Sounds  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.5)
And while this bliss unfolds a hurricane approaches.
Soon the skies will darken and the wind will roar.
And every living creature will tremble and cower.
It is time to enter the storm cellar with can goods.

I like this muse of yours..
It is a peaceful bucolic escape.
But, do not be fooled by mother nature.
She is always dangerous.

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
That's a cute limerick...
I voted for Bernie Sanders.
But, the Super Delegates thought Hillery was a winner.
I will vote for whoever the Democratic nominee is.
This is the worst and most dangerous President ever.
I hope he doesn't start WWIII.


Review of Make Your Mark  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like to buy lottery tickets.
Sometimes I win a free bet or $20 dollars.
We should be optimistic about hitting the jackpot.
I guess my objection to your proposition is style.
You need to space out this article .. It's too congested.
We are running out of drinkable water.
But, I'm positive most people are nice and I will the jackpot.


Review by bob county
Rated: E | (3.0)
Mark Twain was said, "When I am told, Heaven is sitting in a green field playing a harp,
I imagine it is Hell."
Of course, if the brain is dead, why should we care?
And why is there a Heaven for anyone, if we are all created with God's curse of Original Sin?
Did God preordain our fall from grace just to erase it with Jesus' crucifixion?
What is the lesson learned? Does God forgive all sin by His crucified Son?
Duetrionomi 24:16 states, "The children shall not be punished for their father's sin."
Was Adolf Hitler absolved of his sins through Jesus' crucifixion?
Hitler was a baptized Catholic. .. Did he repent?

Your poem raises many questions.

Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Oh my, all this trouble over a tickle.
I'm reminded of Peggy when I read about Joan.
Peggy was a department manager in K-Mart.
She had an affair with the store manager Stewart.
Stewart's wife had ovarian cancer.
Nobody who wanted to stay employed said anything about this tryst.
But, gossip flowed outside the store to corporate.
Stewart left K-Mart for Marshals and Peggy disappeared.
His wife succumbed to cancer and we all attended the funeral with Peggy.
We learned Peggy had been living with Stewart and they planned to marry.

I like your flare for names.
I prefer to keep the characters down to a minimum.
Mokuba reaction to Seto's passionate kiss on Joan's lips is priceless.
This is alien behavior for Seto.
Sex can trigger odd feelings that are not affectionate.
I generally feel confused when I climax as if I had lost my keys.

You're a pro at storytelling.

Review of A Lovely Lie  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.0)
"The children shall not be punished for their father's sin."
But that contradicts Original Sin.
We are all born with Adam's sin the Apostle Paul proclaims.
If there were only two parents in the Genisis of the human race,
where did Cain's wife come from?
Cain found his wife in the land of Nod where he was banished by God
for murdering his brother Able.
Did God create a wife for a murderer?
Did Cain have sex with his mother Eve in the land of Nod?
The Book of Jubilee provides an answer.. Eve had daughters.

Question everything!

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (2.5)
I gave a Mcdonald's job application to a dwarf begging at the Kittery, Maine traffic circle.
He was holding a cardboard sign, "Will work for money."
He said, "I make more money begging."
Is that capitalism?

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a fun thread.
I like candlepins.
But, I do roll big balls occasionally.
What is fun about professional sports are the fans.
In Maine, there are toy war games with tiny toy tanks that shoot paintballs.
And there are toy sailing boat contests too.
I used to be in the chess club in high school.
I'm pretty good at darts.
Believe it or not, these games attract fans.
What is the thrill of watching someone else bowl?
Why do so many people watch gulf?

Anywho, I enjoyed your poem.


Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I started with a smile at the script format.
I'm a frustrated actor and have read many scripts
with these formats and sides like, (sad but smiling).
The ellipses are stylish and ask the actor or reader to pause...

Now, for the whoring! I would never insult my massage therapist.
Up here-ya, in Maine and New Hampshire, we call prostitutes: massage therapists.
For many years there was a health spa in Kittery, Maine that was owned by
the Kittery police chief... . It was a brothel.
I loved it and the massage therapists, many of whom were also were nurses
at that Portsmouth Hospital.. It was clean and members were required to take
a shower before meeting the girls, who dressed in bikinis with nylons and heels.

I had a V.I.P. membership.. I met police and councilmen in the Danish Health Spa
in Kittery, Maine. Fortunately, I wasn't present when the FBI raided the Spa in 2005.
It's hypocritical how erotic massages are illegal in one state and legal in another.
I will always look back fondly at the Danish Health Spa and how friendly the ladies
were in the greeting room with the large African cichlid tank...
I can still smell the chlorine from the whirlpool in the adjacent shower room.

The V.I.P. membership cost $500. a month. I liked to tip a girl $300.
A session lasted about an hour.. I usually climaxed in five to ten minutes.
It was all show biz..

You have a great style.
Have you published professionally?

Review of Passing as Pride  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.5)
It is odd in a capitalistic society we care about anyone but ourselves alone.
Well, there is the need for networking and safety in numbers.
Taking pride in oneself is essential to success.
The snow falls on the sinners and the saints.
But, the sinners have more fun.

I like your style.

Review by bob county
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Back in the day, people who complained were put in stocks in public streets.
Their head and hands were locked in a wooden vice.
They would be at the mercy of their fellow citizens.
They were brutalized.
Jesus was crucified for complaining about Roman tyranny.
Complaining can still be dangerous and get you lynched.

A good thesis.
Keep Writing!

Review of BOSPHORUS- 1  
Review by bob county
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I had a neighbor's condo get hit by a dump truck.
The truck went through their kitchen.
It is frightening how quickly you can lose everything.

I was in the hospital for a hernia.
A young nurse examined me and I was aroused.
It was embarrassing and thrilling.
The nurse gave me a magic marker to mark the
hernia with an x.

I like your style.

You say you are a Witch?
I like that movie with Will Farell
and Nicole Kidman; Bewitched.
Can you do wiggle your nose?

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.5)
This must be a conservative bar.
In Maine there's the Navy Yard bar.
It's a place to hook up and nobody cares
about bad breath.
You can shoot some pool or grab the mike and
sing a song.
There's always a game on the TV.

By and by a fun bar.
Your poem doesn't sound real.
Have you been to a bar?
What's your favorite drink?
I like rum and coke.
Maybe I can bye you one?

Querious poem...

Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Philopinos I know are tiny.
You start with a buff tall one in your thread.
The writing is smooth and fleshed out.
It didn't shock me. There are some many erotic entertainers ..
There are a lot of massage Philopino prostitutes in Portland, NH.
Maine is chucked full of trailer park welfare prostitute moms.
Portsmouth New Hamshire has some escort services that provide fantasy role-playing.

I'm a germaphobe so I shy away from prostitution.
But, if that's your fantasy, take a walk on the wild side.
A lot of coeds like to play with random hook-ups.
A girl I work with loves to pretend she's an escort.
She expects her date to pay for everything and that includes sex.

Anywho, you could sell this erotic story.($)

Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This is satori!
It reminds me of a Buddist poem.
The Buddha remarked,
"Nothing cannot exist,
therefore, we exist."
No matter how turbulent our lives are,
the waters will calm.

It is as inevitable as the rising Sun.

Keep writing!

Review of Dead leaf.  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
How many leaves have fallen?
How many leaves will fall before there are no more?

I had a silly argument over waste.
"You made too many sausages!"
I was scolded.
"We have only so many." the chiding continued.
I apologized, "Think of the pig's sacrifice."

China and India are fighting over fresh water rights.
And they have nukes; as does Pakistan.
Meanwhile, North Korea is starving and building nukes.
There aren't enough sausages to feed the overpopulated world.

I am sorry I made too many sausages...

You have a stimulating tome to leaves.
I like to rake them into a pile and burn them in the fall.

Keep writing!

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