WOW, powerful this poem speaks volumes of a person's love and loss. This asks a lot of questions that make the reader think about the many possibilities and the what if's of this relationship. There is some hope that this person will be ok and shine again if only all alone although we are never really truly alone in this world I am learning we just feel alone sometimes. The concept or the wish I think however is to shine for oneself without completely depending on another. Good job writer.
Ok wow, I don't know what to say for sure it surely gets you attention sort of like a smack in the face, like listen up you I got something to say. You are very descriptive in your phrasing and I don't think anybody that reads this will not have a response in some form or fashion. This poem demands to be read and heard wither you agree with it or not. It's really in your face and sometimes that can be a good thing because at least you know you have been heard. You definitely get you live to write and or must write.
Wow, this is good and the writing flows well. You are very descriptive and you pull the reader into writing I mean to say you take them along for the ride. This writing is becking to the reader come read me, go on this adventure with me and enjoy a really good job.
This was an enjoyable reading and very descriptive I could pretty much see it playing out in mind in real-time.I like that this is not your average story and it's like a story you would set on the porch and tell to a family member or a friend good job.
This writing is pretty good but it kind of drags along a little,it's just a little bit boring.Just because it's religious and true doesn't mean it can't capture your mind and or soul and pull you into the reading/story.You also need to make it more relatable/understandable to people who may not be of the Christian faith unless you are just writing to Christian's only.Also please do spell check or proof read about two or three misspelled word's was seen which is good considering the length of piece. Your writing does give some thought provoking ideas on this bible story.Comes across more as a teaching on this bible story or your personal views on this bible story more than a short story. I also did listen to the story on bible-gateway before I read your writing.Thanks for encouraging others to read their bible first they can hopefully have a better understanding of your writing.
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