| Hi, this is Nomar. I'm reviewing this story because you entered it into the Joust of Horror Short Story Contest. Let's see if you have what it takes to be a Knight.
This is a flash of horror. I know you're good, but it seems you keep getting better with every word you commit to paper. (virtual or otherwise) Good job!
what belonged to the dead should stay with the dead.
This would be great for a future prompt. I wish I had wrote that line.
Approach on the horse: Setting/Mood
Loved how you didn't waste words and managed to sprinkle enough of the setting to get me into the story but what made your opening great was lines like the one I highlighted. Superb job on setting the proper mood right away. Loved the voice in this one.
Form of attack: Execution of Plot
This little tidbit was entertaining and of course, has me begging for more. I can't wait to see how you add on to this. Could it be their will be a joust in your future? Time will soon tell.
Star Appeal: Characterization
Two characters and both are intriguing. You managed to create an antagonist that I'd love to read about in different settings and plot developments. Sounds like a keeper to me, Bill.
Tenacity: Dialog's Authenticity
Love the revelation of a tenacious bad guy and how you captured his voice. I could swear I knew this guy when I was a kid, living in the Lower East Side in Manhattan. Perhaps I can borrow your character so I can relate something the person I'm thinking about did in front of me when I was just seven years old. What a mean old son-of-a-gun.
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. However, I couldn't spot anything that would possibly improve this flash piece. Hmm, can you smell the arena? Armor, horses, sweat; all so close. Will you be the first Knight to challenge me?
Good Luck in the contest. The fact that you entered a story, makes you a Knight. Only the Knight that defeats Nomar Knight will be dubbed a Black Knight. All others will be considered good guys with the rank of dark warriors.
Thanks for entering Joust of Horror
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