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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nomarknight
Review Requests: OFF
422 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Nomar Knight
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good question, buddy. Considering how search engines showcase all your work at once, it's okay to venture off into different genres. I started out writing horror and now I'm more into Suspense. I've written Action and Supernatural Suspense. Whatever strikes my muse. *Wink*

Take care!


Nomar
2
2
Review of awilda's haiku  
Review by Nomar Knight
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poems and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
Loved all your haiku poems, but I must admit, two of them are my favorites. The Kiss and Loneliness spoke to me on a personal level. As far as I'm concerned, a writer that invokes feelings into her poetry, has a special skill. Thanks for sharing your poetry with us and WELCOME to WdC! Please do share more!


Nomar Knight







3
3
Review by Nomar Knight
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an awesome article! I guess this is yet another way I can pick your brain. I'd love to post this on Knight Chills if you'd let me. Great article!
4
4
Review of Surrender  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
Mandy, I enjoyed how you showed the different stages when one surrenders to love. They were extremely accurate, in my opinion. Thanks for sharing this lovely poem!

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* All I know is your touch is a brand on my soul,
That against all odds love has swallowed me whole. *Cut*



This poem reminded me of how even though there's some apprehension in surrendering ourselves to someone, emotions from the heart tend to take us like a tidal wave pushing a small rowboat. Once you fall, there's not much one can do than go with the flow.

*Check3*Form
Solid form. Easy to follow.

*Check3*Rhythm
Well done!

*Check3*Rhyme
Nothing seemed forced. Always a plus!


Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I enjoyed this piece. I have no doubt that this poem will cause many readers to reflect upon love's surrender. Thanks for the fun read. Please keep on writing more things just like this!!!


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight







5
5
Review of Beastly Lessons  
Review by Nomar Knight
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I'm reviewing this story because you entered it into the Joust of Horror Short Story Contest. Let's see if you have what it takes to be a Knight. *Smile*

*Check3*General Impressions
This was super concise and yet it packed quite a punch. Good job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The way the boy talked. *Cut*


Never saw the temporary ending coming. *Thumbsup*

Approach on the horse: Setting/Mood
Most of this is inferred through dialog. I wonder how you'll add to this in a longer piece.

Form of attack: Execution of Plot
I love twists and this one had a whopper.

Star Appeal: Characterization
I wonder if you needed the extra tutor, the older guy. Nevertheless, this story is very promising.

Tenacity: Dialog's Authenticity
The dialog is what made this little snippet move. With your talents, I'm not surprised.

Welcome back, my friend! Check the forum tomorrow to see if you're a finalist.


Thanks for entering Joust of Horror

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6
6
Review of Troubled  
Review by Nomar Knight
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I'm reviewing this story because you entered it into the Joust of Horror Short Story Contest. Let's see if you have what it takes to be a Knight. *Smile*

*Check3*General Impressions
Excellent premise to this story, though some clarity is needed in order to hammer home your exciting plot. These are easy fixes when you're not restricted by word count.*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The imagery on the attack of the teacher. *Cut*


*Thumbsup*

Approach on the horse: Setting/Mood
The opening was a bit confusing since you mentioned a she and it wasn't till almost the ending that you revealed her. This will be easy to remedy when you won't have to worry about a word count.

Form of attack: Execution of Plot
You did a good job executing the prompt. This story has excellent potential.


Star Appeal: Characterization
A story like this is difficult to pull off successfully in a flash piece, yet you managed to reveal loads of info on what the character was thinking.


Tenacity: Dialog's Authenticity
The sparse dialog was on point with the plot.


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. Please know that they are offered in the spirit of making this fine piece even better.*Smile*

Some line-by-line comments follow, some trivial and some with more substance.

*Bullet* Your text:
*Cut* You switched verb tenses on several occasions *Cut*
*Idea* My Comment:
*Idea**Paste* It's usually best to stick to one verb tense, if possible. I suggest for this story maintaining everything in the past tense. *Paste**Idea*

*Bullet* Your text:
*Cut* Wait. She has moved. Ha their she is. *Cut*
*Idea* My Comment:
*Idea**Paste* Perhaps putting this line in italics would be best and change their to there. *Paste**Idea*


Good Luck in the contest. The fact that you entered a story, makes you a Knight. Only the Knight that defeats Jezri will be dubbed a Black Knight. All others will be considered good guys with the rank of dark warriors.

Check the forum tomorrow for the results of the finalists.

Thanks for entering Joust of Horror

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7
7
Review of Life  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
An interesting philosophical look at various possibilities that life presents us with. Good job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The meaning may not always be apparent,

But the purpose always makes its presence known. *Cut*



We can add the phrase: sooner or later at the end of that verse.

Thanks for sharing this nice poem with me. It reminds me that life is indeed complicated. I especially enjoyed how you turned the verses around to make the reader see an alternate meaning. Nice!

WELCOME TO WdC


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8
8
Review of Mon-Anon  
Review by Nomar Knight
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I'm reviewing this story because you entered it into the Joust of Horror Short Story Contest. Let's see if you have what it takes to be a Knight. *Smile*

*Check3*General Impressions
Outstanding job with this one. Not only did I enjoy your choices of characters, but I thoroughly enjoyed your depiction of Grover.*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* Loved the NEAR and FAR show! *Cut*


Superb! *Thumbsup*

Approach on the horse: Setting/Mood
Excellent job establishing the tone and you gave enough information about setting to help better situate me in your flash piece.

Form of attack: Execution of Plot
Great job and I enjoyed how you handled the prompt. I am curious as to what could happen in an extended version.

Star Appeal: Characterization
This is where you shined. Glad you picked up my Boogeyman character and gave him a role as moderator. *Smile*

Tenacity: Dialog's Authenticity
You captured the nuances as best I could tell.

*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
I couldn't spot any grammatical errors. Thanks for the smooth, entertaining read. *Smile*



I'd say, start working on the extension, if you haven't already.

Thanks for entering Joust of Horror

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9
9
Review by Nomar Knight
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I'm reviewing this story because you entered it into the Joust of Horror Short Story Contest. Let's see if you have what it takes to be a Knight. *Smile*

*Check3*General Impressions
Uniquely terrifying premise. I like it!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The premise and the powerful opening. *Cut*


Grabbed my attention and kept it.*Thumbsup*

Approach on the horse: Setting/Mood
The setting didn't add a cryptic ambiance in the flash.

Form of attack: Execution of Plot
Psychological horror is my favorite. So far execution of plot is good.


Star Appeal: Characterization
You did a solid job getting us into his mind, now why should I care about him?

Tenacity: Dialog's Authenticity
You used internal dialogue and it was most revealing.


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. Please know that they are offered in the spirit of making this fine piece even better.*Smile*

Some line-by-line comments follow, some trivial and some with more substance.


*Idea* My Comment:
*Idea**Paste* Bring on the extension. Let the best Knight win. *Paste**Idea*


Good Luck in the contest. The fact that you entered a story, makes you a Knight. Only the Knight that defeats the current champion will be dubbed a Black Knight. All others will be considered good guys with the rank of dark warriors.

Thanks for entering Joust of Horror

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10
10
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
Stories that provide valuable lessons are always fun to read. Good job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The entire concept and the final line. *Cut*


Excellent! *Thumbsup*


Found one type o' in the last big paragraph. Hank had been black with a while muzzle. white for while.

I'd like to use this on Knight Chills. Send me an email on facebook if you're interested in the extra exposure. *Wink*




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11
11
Review of Fire to Ashes  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
Impressive dark tale that teaches important lessons and ends with hope. Great job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* Your vivid descriptions of the dark world, though it was all good. *Cut*


Great prose, simple and eloquent! *Thumbsup*

I'm glad I decided to visit your port today. Joy, you are a talented multi-genre writer. *Wink*




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12
12
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
This short poem packs a powerful punch! Good job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* All of it including the title *Cut*


That last stanza left me with a creepy crawly feeling. Awesome!*Thumbsup*



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13
13
Review of The Anniversary  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
This poem hit a chord, reminding me how life is precious and how our soldiers are so much more than pawns to be used.

You are indeed one sweet poet. *Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* She patted it as if it were his back
and tears flowed down even more.
"They gave you Medals of Honor with this plaque
that read, "A Marine to the core." *Cut*



Thanks for sharing this gem with us.




** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight
14
14
Review of Mistaken  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
You are an outstanding horror writer. Once again you did a good job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* It was all good but I like how you slowly set me up for the ending *Cut*


Your vivid descriptions and your narrative style always make reading one of your stories an absolute pleasure. *Thumbsup*

*Check3*Characters
Your main character is interesting, although I thought you could flesh him out a little more. (No pun intended. *Bigsmile* )

*Check3*Plot
I see this as a small part of a much larger work. You've created another story you can extend even more if you choose to do so. I'd buy the book.

*Check3*Setting
The opening was sweet and your imagery was on point.


*Check3*Dialog
You were excellent with dialog, as usual.






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15
15
Review of Lost Within  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
Outstanding poem!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* My mind’s eye cannot see across
The wasteland of my life, nor
Can it penetrate
the miasma of mismapped thoughts.
*Cut*



Now that's poetry in motion. *Thumbsup*



*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
Truth be told I enjoyed all of this brilliant poem.*Smile*


*Idea* My Comment:
*Idea**Paste* Spectacular job of showing! *Paste**Idea*




** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight
16
16
Review of Laundry  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your draft and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
I wondered why you spent much time on menial laundry until I reached the end. It was a nice ending for this scene indeed. I guess the title works for a marker since this is but a small part of something larger. Flawless grammar as well. Good job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The ending *Cut*



*Check3*Characters
Clever as far as naming your character. She was so poor that you could only afford to give her one "n" Lyn.

*Check3*Plot
Interesting set up.

*Check3*Setting
Not my type of story, but I guess it's acceptable for a first draft. Perhaps you can emphasize the sunny day, or scorching sun. Something to clue the reader in on the girls acceptance or not of her daily life. Of course, you address it somewhat later on. The mention of a bright, breeze-free day may help set up the end a little more. Nevertheless, the ending did pack a punch.

*Check3*Dialog
Not much offered but what was offered revealed much with plot. Well done.


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. Please know that they are offered in the spirit of making this fine piece even better.*Smile*

Some line-by-line comments follow, some trivial and some with more substance.

*Bullet* Your text:
*Cut* I thought the tone was rather mundane which I guess you did on purpose. I question characterization. Don't people want what they don't have? Would she really be satisfied with her mundane life? *Cut*
*Idea* My Comment:
*Idea**Paste* I recall my younger days. I was an avid daydreamer. It's just a question of reality, since I know you're concerned with that element when it comes to fiction. *Smile* *Paste**Idea*

Keep writing!


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17
17
Review of Out of Time  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
Actually, this was such a cool story. From the intriguing opening and the steady build up of suspense, this little flash piece packed quite a punch. Great job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* Your vivid descriptions and your writing style. *Cut*


Pretty intense!*Thumbsup*

*Check3*Characters
Considering the limitation, excellent job.

*Check3*Plot
I see this could be part of an action packed suspense novel. Please tell me you're working on it.

*Check3*Setting
Decent job. With flash pieces, we have to trim the setting down but you still managed to use the setting to relate a sense of major despair. Fantastic.


*Check3*Dialog
No words wasted here. Smooth and smart. Nice.



*Idea* My Comment:
*Idea**Paste* Thanks for sharing this wonderful little piece. *Paste**Idea*

I'd like to see an entry from you in Joust of Horror. Thanks for the ride.




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18
18
Review of Blue Bird  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. This is a such a beautiful poem.

*Check3*General Impressions
Extremely well written. My only complaint was that the clues for the birdwatcher were that of a child and then jumps too quickly to the child having her own children. You wrote this so good that I felt sad for it ended to quick. I guess life can end in a blink of an eye. Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece.*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The bluebird's compassion *Cut*


Well done! *Thumbsup*








** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight
19
19
Review of -Enchant-  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked this poem too and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
Brilliant, dark, psychotic mood to this. I enjoyed the blend of confused state with a desire for love, begging the creator for release was realistic. You are a fine poet. Thanks for sharing this piece.*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The transition from Scifi beginning to psychotic horror state to a plea to end the misery. *Cut*


Superb! *Thumbsup*





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20
20
Review of Ol' Man Doolittle  
Review by Nomar Knight
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I'm reviewing this story because you entered it into the Joust of Horror Short Story Contest. Let's see if you have what it takes to be a Knight. *Smile*

*Check3*General Impressions
This is a flash of horror. I know you're good, but it seems you keep getting better with every word you commit to paper. (virtual or otherwise) Good job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* what belonged to the dead should stay with the dead. *Cut*


This would be great for a future prompt. I wish I had wrote that line. *Thumbsup*

Approach on the horse: Setting/Mood
Loved how you didn't waste words and managed to sprinkle enough of the setting to get me into the story but what made your opening great was lines like the one I highlighted. Superb job on setting the proper mood right away. Loved the voice in this one.

Form of attack: Execution of Plot
This little tidbit was entertaining and of course, has me begging for more. I can't wait to see how you add on to this. Could it be their will be a joust in your future? Time will soon tell.

Star Appeal: Characterization
Two characters and both are intriguing. You managed to create an antagonist that I'd love to read about in different settings and plot developments. Sounds like a keeper to me, Bill.

Tenacity: Dialog's Authenticity

Love the revelation of a tenacious bad guy and how you captured his voice. I could swear I knew this guy when I was a kid, living in the Lower East Side in Manhattan. Perhaps I can borrow your character so I can relate something the person I'm thinking about did in front of me when I was just seven years old. What a mean old son-of-a-gun.


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. However, I couldn't spot anything that would possibly improve this flash piece. Hmm, can you smell the arena? Armor, horses, sweat; all so close. Will you be the first Knight to challenge me?*Smile*



Good Luck in the contest. The fact that you entered a story, makes you a Knight. Only the Knight that defeats Nomar Knight will be dubbed a Black Knight. All others will be considered good guys with the rank of dark warriors.

Thanks for entering Joust of Horror

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21
21
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I thought your poem was interesting and I wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
A Haiku is normally about nature. I love it when writers think outside the box. You took a man made object and allowed the reader to interpret what he may for the clock reveals the nature of time in numeric form but doesn't tell of all the secrets that occur in life. Clever!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* Your bravery for posting this gem on this site. *Cut*


I guess humans are like clocks. We go off every day on our routine journeys and perform tasks for different reasons. Eventually, life can get to the point that we do things without contemplating the bigger picture. We do things because we are simply accustomed. Perhaps the more we do things, the actions blur so that we can't see why things happen. Hence, is it noon or midnight? I guess ignorance is bliss.


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
You maintained the technical aspect of Haiku, as far as I know, to the correct form. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing.




** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight
22
22
Review of El Monstruo  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
Beautiful story. I can't believe this story got butchered by a reviewer. Well, here's my review. Overall you did a good job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The world measures a real man by the size of his heart. *Cut*


Great execution of imagery and other short story elements made the themes of this story stand out. Well done!*Thumbsup*

*Check3*Characters
You did a splendid job with characterization with Panchito, the little man with a big heart.

*Check3*Plot
Moved along well. When you inserted flashback it served an important purpose towards characterization.

*Check3*Setting
Excellent use of imagery to set the mood and give the reader a bird's eye view of the action. Well done!

*Check3*Dialog
Authentic use of dialog, revealed characterization and moved the plot along. Again, you did a solid job.


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. Please know that they are offered in the spirit of making this fine piece even better.*Smile*

Some line-by-line comments follow, some trivial and some with more substance.

*Bullet* Your text:
*Cut* However, during his youth his size proved far from an advantage. *Cut*
*Idea* My Comment:
*Idea**Paste* another comma after youth is warranted. *Paste**Idea*



*Idea* My Comment:
*Idea**Paste* Sorry, I couldn't find anything else technically off with the piece. I enjoyed it and I thank you for sharing this uplifting story. *Paste**Idea*




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23
23
Review of Cheap Cuts  
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
You implanted such a civil conversation in a horrific environment. Good job!*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* The fact that your protagonist was in the lower class of his new membership. *Cut*


Loved the dialogue and part of the characterization established for the two characters. It was entertaining, and revealing.*Thumbsup*


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. Please know that they are offered in the spirit of making this fine piece even better.*Smile*

Some line-by-line comments follow, some trivial and some with more substance.

*Bullet* Your text:
*Cut* He didn't have any cookbooks for any of this stuff, but supposed that it wasn't much different that normal beef or chicken. *Cut*
*Idea* My Comment:
*Idea**Paste* Change "that normal beef" to than normal beef *Paste**Idea*

Solid job with so few words. Well done!


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24
24
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Unratable.)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
I loved the refrain in this. I just wish it were longer so you describe more details about the couple. You did a good job in getting my attention but I felt somewhat cheated because I don't know much about the lovers. Who were they? Were they cheating on their spouses? How old were they? Were they kids? Was it forbidden love? Was it two people in their golden years? Normally I like mystery but what you wrote was so good that you left me wanting more.*Smile*

Oh well, thanks for sharing.




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25
25
Review by Nomar Knight
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

*Check3*General Impressions
Actually, this was a beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing.*Smile*

*Check3*Favorite Part

*Cut* Love changes everything! *Cut*


It sure does. *Thumbsup*


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
Technically the poem was well written and I enjoyed the easy on the eyes format. *Smile*





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